Sleepovers and Celibacy: Pokimane vs. Fedmyster.

yes ladies and gentlemen all of these
people speak english as their first language it's no worries we have two beds at the other room his caption she alone is asking to stay with me alone and her next line in this dialogue is beg for me to stay with you i joke i joke that's a topic for a video [Music] [Music] nose [Music] little sister don't you don't you kiss me once or twice shout out to all the broken hearted people in the audience shout out to all the broken hearted people in the world you know um i ain't laughing at you and i'm not really here to laugh at the topic of this video i'm not here to make a joke out of it it's real easy for me at age 42 to laugh at these kinds of uh trials and tribulations and tragedies in my own life and when you get to be a middle-aged man it gets easier and easier to laugh at other people's tragedies as well but you know i i know the struggle and uh i ain't laughing at you so this is this is pokeman pokemane right into our man friend here okay so we got a hotel room but i can still stay in yours but i can also stay in mine because you know emoji emoji emoji if you don't respond then i'm going to go to my hotel room instead of yours on the right hand side in pink text is the caption added by the male witness this history two years later he reflects she very clearly says but i can stay in yours to me this meant she was open to staying with me and the girls would get pokey's room because during this time i would sleep over at hers often this whole thing with coming on the internet and bragging about who you've had sleepovers with in a context of broken-hearted people where both sides are either emphatically or implicitly stating that you never had sex so you've slept in the same bed repeatedly but have not had sex i hope you guys can appreciate that from the perspective of a 42 year old man it's it's not it's not just strange it's baffling quote i was totally getting the impression that we were going to sleep in the same room via these texts what ended up happening was that they all stayed in mine in my hotel room but pokey and i ended up sharing a bed but she's careful not to include that in her response my purpose of showing these texts was to show the behavior and kind of relationship we had and that we would often sleep over in or out of the house she tries really hard to put into question my credibility man you really do not build up your skills in english language composition playing those video games the the addiction the quality of send structure oh it's it's off the meat rack she really tries hard to put into question my credibility by saying it was totally out of context because what was said versus what happened was different facts are we did share a bed periods this this is this is what i find so hard to relate to so mean facts are she says you guys never dated you never had a relationship you never had sex so the fact that you shared a bed what what's what's the significance of this and why are we why are we having this conversation i mean i get it i get it i i think there were probably broken hearted people in the audience who can relate to this i think there are probably people who liked forced their way into the friend zone the same way this guy did to such an extent that they were being treated as like a gay male friend by a straight woman even though in fact the dude was to whatever extent straight and actually trying to get a relationship okay i'm trying hard you better not eat this game this game is really important for me this game this game is really important wait lily can i get in on this too no it's you know it's a tragedy that's not it's not hard to sympathize with returning to the uh quoted dialogue here are you sure i really want to give you the freedom to do what you want smiley face smiley face smiley face it's no worries yes ladies and gentlemen all of these people speak english as their first language it's no worries we have two beds at the other room his caption she alone is asking to stay with me alone and her next line in this dialogue is beg for me to stay with you i joke i joke okay i'll come if you are sure and he replies yes he's sure and now about two years later he's adding this caption complaining that she is uh totally exploiting his feelings for her because she knows that he wants to stay in the same room or in the same bed with her she later in her statement tries to imply that the sleepovers all had the same tone when in reality the ones with others weren't romantic but the ones with her were close quote romantic sleepover but she didn't have sex where is this going to go dude look sorry i it's it's genuinely baffling to me i have been in the position i'm only remembering one now it's probably having more than one it's probably happened a couple times i have been in the position of saying to a woman look if you are inviting me to sleep in the same bed with you this is not gonna be a sleepover you and i are not just friends so don't kid yourself about what it is you're setting up to happen next if you and i are gonna lie down in the same bed and spend the night together you are gonna wake up having difficulty walking or sitting on a chair so let's keep it all the way real and you know your willingness to tell the truth is in many cases less important than your willingness to not get what you want honesty doesn't just involve telling the truth it also involves really having the strength of character to live in celibacy to do without these things you desire to be like well i'm going to be honest with this person i'm going to tell her what the situation is and that may result in us not sleeping together or not having a relationship now or maybe she's not ready to have a relationship now but she will be ready to have a relationship later and you know years later you'll get together like the decision to be honest in some ways that's a very short-term surface decision and there's this deeper more long-term commitment to really being cool really being at peace with uh not getting what you want and a lot of the discourse i hear on the internet like i'm sure some other youtube channel would recommend saying the same thing i just said to you now like as if it's like an alpha play as if it's like a strategy like to present yourself as alpha like here's what's going down so don't kid yourself like i'm not coming for a sleepover like we're not sharing a bed to sleep let's keep this straight somebody would would present that to you as if that strategy means you get what you want and it doesn't right honesty means that you disambiguate an ambiguous situation it means you don't get your feelings hurt nobody's confused everyone's being honest what the situation is but the situation may be she doesn't want you and the truth is probably probably for this dude or a lot of dudes in this situation probably if you can admit to yourself who she really is you don't want her either you just uh you just think that you do but yeah here's this guy's totally alpha play she asked him to beg to sleep in the same bed with her and he does indeed repeatedly beg in this life you don't make decisions about getting what you want you make decisions about what kind of person you want to be and those decisions with time not all that much time they shape who you become do you want to be the kind of guy who will lie to get a woman into bed all the men i know who did huge numbers who slept with large numbers of women the main aphrodisiac they were playing with was the almighty lie are you willing to lie to others are you willing to lie to yourself are you willing to live a lie to get laid and what this guy is doing i mean it's dishonest but really he's being more dishonest with himself than he is with the girl are you willing to do this kind of dishonest thing about doing sleepovers and pretending you're just friends and then you know as she puts it pushing against the boundaries of this relationship that from her perspective as she tells the story is more like a straight woman with a gay male friend she just hangs out with in her hotel room and in between doing these various gigs is that what you're willing to do to get what you want if so think about 10 years 20 years down the line what kind of person you're going to become and i'm not here to gas you up ladies and gentlemen boys and girls i'm not here to tell you that that straight and narrow path of honesty leads to success or happiness for a whole lot of people it's going to lead to loneliness and disappointment because you know telling the truth can end up with you being isolated and bitter and alone in a world that's full of liars who really really just want you to lie to them who really just want you to play the same game that their other ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriends did and they may even regard you with a kind of incomprehension if you're if you're playing at this straight if you're really being dishonest with yourself and others you don't get to decide whether or not you get what you want and a lot of the time boys and girls you think you want something you think you want someone then after you get closer to them after you get closer to the goal you realize who they really were you realize that you you didn't really want them at all the one thing you can control the one thing you can decide is what kind of person you're going to be and the compromises you're going to make the sacrifices you're going to make the rules you're going to draw up that define your own sense of personal integrity short-term and long term that matters a whole lot more than just getting laid