True Love, Self-Sacrifice (and Veganism).

I don't say that i have experienced deep
deep bitterness Warren when you meet boyfriend number 101 you think you're just like boyfriend number 98 it's the same [ __ ] up every little boy maybe trailers but I think in Christian culture and Western culture we think of love as linked to self-sacrifice and maybe that's a bad thing maybe we just have terrible taste in men li and I suppose the pattern here is you okay you know and I can't even ask you that because it's so true I'm honest yen I'm very dishwashing centric you know like for me like I knew okay I used to have a roommate it was a rented house but she was memory so this is one we're not romantically liberated but she lived in the next room and we shared the rent on this house cuz one was my roommate and she fell in love with this guy a hundred ten percent and she was totally committed because I talk to her you know like we're friends or whatever she was totally committed on mine this man she was gonna marry him and they were gonna raise kids together and like this is it for her she was set and she was old but he was even older so she was like 35 and he was 55 like they were you know okay so she was completely committed and because I was her roommate I knew about this I was going out of town for like let's say I was going to him for a week I forget and during that week nose out of town this guy was going to come in and stay in the house they would have some time as a couple you know alone and that was great fine so I knew what this in came back and you know so I came back from this trip is all great so you know so how did things go she was like it's over I'm never constant five is that guy again it's done and if she was so in love with this guy but she had never had a simple experience of like doing laundry with him washing the dishes together like sharing a space of the way going out to a restaurant with somebody or going out to the movies or like going to Las Vegas those are really artificial settings where you don't know what it's like to be in a relation with somebody and obviously like talking over Skype or email or YouTube videos it's also really artificial I mean my videos are like I really am I really behave the same way in real life that I just want you to do a good thing NFS been I'm a little no I amp it up a bit on you don't bit more dramatic on YouTube you know a bit more emotional than I am in real life like in real life if I was talking to ryan from happy healthy vegan face-to-face would I have been quite sure you know I do I have it I am it of it but you know I'm pretty close but still I just say I think I think in terms of when I think about a real relationship if the bedrock is having that experience of doing dishes together of doing grocery shopping together of mopping the floor of doing laundry and you never know who someone really is until you you've done the dishes together I'm not so you're not if you ain't done the dishes with me you're not my girlfriend no I actually use like a similar way of like measuring where relationship is like once we start doing things like oh I'm gonna go run some errands you want to join you know like I kind of use that as like okay like this is this is going somewhere it I just say I'm I'm the type of person who is highly emotional I've been highly emotional my entire life don't we show that on YouTube you actually don't see it on youtube that's it has been gone yet oh I'll get to that like it is a great there's just things like very deliberate choice on land come across that way and it's because like my whole life I guess it's like I'd be most of it like I'm still lost logical enough like detach from the emotion enough to recognize that in a lot of ways it does enhance my life like I can't to live in a different way like I can't even imagine it I wouldn't want to but in a lot of ways it does it does those a lot of challenges for me just like this heightened state of emotion so to deal with that like I've made a deliberate effort to just really you know not snap at someone or just not how an emotional outburst so in a way even though i am so emotional like I am so much more controlled the mavericks vs it take a look at whenever we're impatient with someone like it takes such a substantial effort like it takes so much out of me just not yeah you know then you take more effort from me than the average person but yes i think the average person would still have that emotional outburst despite it being easier for them not to do it and it would be for me but it is strange that the emotion would lead me to be more controlled over it I don't know so was my youtube channel yeah that is that is very deliberate because I find that I guess just this culture that we live in does value ISIL just like it cool detachment from a subject makes you appear more credible than being highly emotional about it which is something I don't necessarily agree with but i'm working with the culture I'm living it so it it is very well practiced for me to be cool detached but certainly not my nature and you know I've been doing it for a long time like I'm 24 at this point I'm a lot better than i was when i was 17 so I think middle-aged will catch up for you with you that way cuz like I know identify as a middle-aged version at 38 and I've gotten more emotional and more sentimental i love it like I I mentioned you i watch this documentary this vegan documentary on life according to 0 hat and i broke down weeping like maybe three times watching it will broke down i wet I was watching it like three times I love that about myself I love them 38 and I can sit there and cry watching this dog I love that like I don't mean I totally i'm not trying to repress that i love that i could exercise that side of a character and again like it's not like I've it's not because I the controls not like I break down weeping at work you and me it's not like you know it's a mime weeping when I'm in a situation where I can let myself weep I love that and by contrast like back when I was like 19 to 21 I think the saddest and most terrible times in my life like subjectively was when I felt awful but I couldn't cry you know when like you're in a terrible situation but you can't you know you can't pour out emotion or you can't you can't express even if it's just as an expression when you can as we just sit there inert and feel like garbage but yeah I mean there's really the kind of mean old man stereotype of getting less emotional as as you get older and that's not the case your middle unlike okay to bring this back to the veganism if we could bring it back to anything else like in a positive when I was in when i was in kunming so I was willing in China but the pressure on that now when i was in conveying I went into this one meat restaurant they do noodles because my teacher told me she could they could make vegan noodles there which turned out to be totally untrue but my teacher told me if you go in and try this restaurant and you know so I'm waiting to talk to the person behind the counter to ask if they can make something vegan and there's just this metal bowl sitting there totally normal you know antiseptic metal bowl that people use in kitchens with diced pork in it you know the red maintenance and and I'm looking at this bowl which is not remarkable it's diced up meat in a bowl full and I didn't weep openly but you know like tears were coming to my eyes I got really emotional stead of looking at it why because it connects to so many meaningful things you know I'm not just seeing the bowl it does it's not just me to me it means a lot you know what I mean and I can have a motion event which I I love it like I'm not complaining i think it's great I think like I think it brings a lot of richness and depth to my daily life that wouldn't be there you know whether that's whether that's like an anecca logical sense or in an ethical stance or an animal sir I I love that about middle-aged I think our hey I would not like that at 21 I was not well this definitely agree with you I mean the ones in which ideas were like this highly emotional lens like it's exactly as he said it does bring a death I get a certain richness to my life you know I mean I don't know any other basement to experience the world so I can't really compare it but I just based on other people actually closely I just need to be about earlier usually the guys I date me business is the problem the guys I always date are very like logical and like cold you know and I think in a way it is perfect you know I think at first it works out because these guys you know I show them what it's like me in color view the metaphor you know like I've aged I just never experienced someone was just so emotional about everything but then I think in and I like them because they keep making me grounded I suppose you know this I'm scared of a dreamer I guess they're more they're more like a realist but then I don't know I guess you can stick of each other I don't know but to say that like I said it does hinder my life in a lot of ways living this way but I agree I wouldn't change it for anything it's the reason why I'm vegan you know it's I didn't go vegan because logically I thought oh yes that's that's immoral or for the environment or a health reasons right like I want to vegan because I just I you know I imagine this little animal suffering and it broke my heart and that's all I want to begin in a day like I have a video on a tray like I just it just took one moment to realize it go yet this animal does how feeling and it broke my heart and that's all it took i never look back i think you know i just say it so that i am actually partly saying this is advice for you as you get older haha I think like I think it's really sad that in Western culture like sadness has kind of a bad words like sadness is a bad thing you're not supposed to feel sad or joy or any visitor like simple childlike emotions I think it's really really positive to keep feeling the simple childlike emotions I think what in since you have to avoid because like it's fine whether it's you know your boyfriend pissing you off and you feel sadness or anger or something but I think those simple travel emotions really get a bad reputation I think what you got to avoid are the more complex and compounded and indirect emotions like bitterness and it's really difficult like on a subjective level to define even what bitterness is but like when i saw i saw that will use the bowl of meat and then we'll use like a boyfriend/girlfriend example but when I see that boy love bought that bowl of meat I'm directly feeling sad as I didn't tweet but tears to my eyes but i'm not feeling hatred against the woman behind the counter I'm not feeling bitterness or anger and it's not like bringing back memories that I'm bitter about about other meat eaters I had a fight with or like your own parents or something sorry not in your case I know I should you have really good really sheer perseverance most of us most vegans we've had like our parents screaming at us that we're insane because we're vegan or whatever you know them in like you know that that memory can come back and be and be really be bitterness via negative emotion and my age like this again like why am i dating younger women one of the real problems you have if you're talking about women who are 35 a lot of them when they meet me they don't really see me they don't really react to me they're so into feelings of bitterness from the relationship that in the past they're still reacting to the guy they're mad at from last year or 10 years ago or 20 years ago they've got bitterness memories mixed with emotion in this kind of complex way and you know again it's fine if you want to be mad at me if you want to hate me that's not the problem is bitterness the problem is not like joy or sorrow or sadness you know I think it's really positive to be able to be in touch those emotions and radiate them but it says I think of what what you're trying to avoid is you get in the middle age you're trying to avoid letting the bitterness a past experience pollute those feelings and make those things more more complex and counterproductive yeah that's my wisdom based on of my wisdom of how to be middle aged well you know you say that I don't say that I have experienced Inc deep bitterness what friend when you meet boyfriend number 101 do you think you're just like boyfriend number 98 it's the same [ __ ] a beautiful or maybe Travis you meant even must say necessarily that far off but me maybe was just a terrible taste in Manly a couple the pattern here is you okay you know and I can't even ask you that because it's so true like none of these guys are willing to try veganism for me like i just have the worst to so you're not the only one who sees it but everyone else can see a nice and see it but i just don't know how to be more proactive about it i don't know what to do I've been talking about this a lot lately because I had a week where maybe three different women were really pursuing me at the same time on the internet but the thing like I think I said to hold three of them was look you know like it's really odd for me because I have this deep contrast between these women who are pursuing me on the internet who are one vegan and two they generally already know me really well from youtube and again I don't just have each if I also have articles have written that on the internet like whether the articles about Buddhism or politics but like like in a really non shallow sense before the first date these women know me better than most people know each other after the tenth date you know what I mean and then the contrast is I'm here in China and there are gorgeous women here there are women here who are extremely attractive objectively and they've got leather purse and leather shoes and it's not just that they don't know me I definitely feel in those cases they're never going to know me and there's almost no point you know what I mean like if I was going to have relationship this woman am I really going to try to tell her who I am or what's going on the other parts of my life or you just get aberration that's not even on that level that is such a weird weird contrast to live with you know and I don't know I mean I can't complain you know this i think we talked about this in our first conversation lasted like four hours the first conversation I said to you like for me like a the big motivating factor for getting on YouTube getting on social media even before that went to the blog was when I left Cambodia I was alone when I left taiwan I was alone even within Canada yeah I did I remember talking about that with you it's like look when you leave and move to Winnipeg you're gonna lose all those friends those people are not going to stay in touch with you who knew you and university or just knew you in another city in Canada and it was like you know on YouTube some people love you and some people hate you but at least at least you're not alone so yeah that's I'm totally grateful for that no matter how much horrible should i go through no matter how many lies vegan cheetah tells about me or even if even if durianrider eventually does beat me up if he eventually does kick my ass we finally have the boxing match or whatever you know that that's really really positive to me is having people in your life who care about you who aren't going to disappear when you buy your next airplane ticket yeah it counts for a lot you know it's like going off with like you talking about the women there with like the leather bags I'm just knowing that it would never will never know you guys but I think that's something like it yeah this is you can component like yes non-vegans will never really understands I'd like even beyond that just wants with other weights like others the other levels I find in general that I don't know I don't want to make myself out as like a special snowflake I can't that's not my right my purpose here at all but I spike I maybe had or maybe I'm just in a mood but I truly don't think I'll ever find someone who will love me as much as I love them like in the reason why I say so sad Jesus Christ I know that let me know better at what we get up in your crestfallen you're just wow wait I like it is just not even necessarily coming out of like my own dating failures right it's just coming out of like observing the world thicker because when I'm with someone it's like there is literally nothing I would do you know they could move across the world for like two years and if I love them like okay I just don't see secateurs like I'm with you you know but i don't know maybe just the culture or something but no one arm a beyond his years but no one seems i don't want to do that like it doesn't mean anything to them so you know and i think in a way the reason why i am this way is like my own parents say i think they were apart for like a year like and yet i'm a survivor I didn't see each other for a whole year or something and like they're so utterly devoted to each other and man I don't know I just I haven't seen that anywhere I was by over my parents relationship so oh my god i want to assure you you can definitely find someone who loves you as much as you love them I don't think you should give up on that maybe there are a lot of things in life you should give up on but no I mean I think you can find someone who is who is going to be devoted you at that level on a practical sense and of course of course you can find someone loves you as as much as as much as you love them hahaha so this was because your wording you said you'll never love someone as much as they love you I've never had that problem I've always been super committed to you and super in love with the person I'm I'm with which worked out great in my first marriage by the way I should i should say [ __ ] that worked out great but i did i did love my first wife and i said a lot of positive good there was in love with him for a reason some way she's a wonderful person and in some ways she's a terrible person but she is you know she's a lot of positive qualities that way i relocated many many times for my life I've moved from Cambodia to Canada I'm from Canada to France I'm from France to Taiwan we moved before that also I was sacrificing my job interests in my education under skin again but I think in Christian culture and Western culture we think of love as linked to self sacrifice and maybe that's a bad thing like in all my relationships I was super self-sacrificing and I think like self-sacrifice I felt Lee not the one was actually proved that I really loved her that was really you know up for it yeah like I felt it was like a really positive thing to drop out of a university program for my wife or for my girlfriend where will the room area no Tamra I really thought that was the most positive loving thing so yeah I'm so into you I'm gonna you know change my plans to drop out of this program and plan a whole different future for you but it's not that's not positive that's self destructives but so I wonder on some deep level even though I've never been Christian I'm brainwashed by sesame street like everyone else why do I think that self-sacrifice is such a positive thing I mean interesting point I'd I don't think I've ever heard anyone even challenged that notion right hmm well so think about that that's actually really interesting I'd never even thought challenge it you know I guess there's anything I'm I've usually been one to like you know to spend that position or to promote that position i go i'll be talking someone about just what is love and you know sometimes people will say us a nice feeling you get there's a player things like so like trivial and you know I'm like not only this is you know I just know this is what it is it is exactly he says well sex faces it's serving someone else but that's okay i don't know i don't like it for me like I hear what you stayin like maybe just you know being self-destructive uh-huh I'm just thinking out loud here I don't know I don't know where I'm going to bed no because deep and I'm Matt I think ultimately it's because the self-sacrifice is linked to your ability to have children your ability to reproduce as a human being so I just say this maybe those groceries yoga change the subject I don't think it's too gross but like you know at the time my wife and I decided to have a baby it was it was not an accidental pregnancy by the way it was planned out way in advance the plan was okay she would quit her job I would quit my university program Ernie possibility job we would both devote 24-7 for like one year to raising this baby which we did so I was a stay-at-home dad I was doing absolutely nothing you know except worry about the future worry about my next job worry about my career and you know coddle this baby you got to move on it's cool oh do it and you really feel the extent to which that self sacrifices may be a natural instinct is an evolutionary behavior because let me tell you during the first year of a baby's life you sacrifice everything like you know just sleep you're never sleeping right you're not doing anything for yourself all your time it's devoted towards taking care of that that newborn infant especially if you don't have a few of it extended family if you have grandparents helping you if you have aunts and uncles and grandparents then you're doing less but we didn't it was just the two of us with this baby 24-7 so I do think that that self-sacrifice mentality or set of behaviors I think it is it's there's an evolutionary component to it so that you can you can have them raise a baby but I mean the other side of it is I guess we just call attachment when I got together with my lip story like I say I was I was married we were together for secures you know wasn't I when we moved to Saskatchewan absolutely part of the plan that was explicitly discussed like you know we sat down with a pen and paper you know you were planning what you're going to do was it we move to Saskatchewan and then I deal with her there for a few months but then i was going to enroll in like a master's program i was going to go back to university in one of the neighboring cities in canada so you know this better than most neighboring city in canada is an unbelievable distance away like the distance between Regina and Alberta any of the city's it's huge it's like you know compared to other countries like oh yeah it's the next major city like I'm just going from just one from [ __ ] Regina to Calgary it's unbelievable the distance involved right like oh yeah it's the next major city so you know the university programs i was looking at they were they were nearby but it was it was a big deal but she was committed to that that was their plan in advance like okay we're gonna go to this part of canada and then she was only going to like see me on the weekends or something or see me you know a couple times no because i was going to be in the next city doing university program and after we got there and you know you're like busy for the first couple months just getting set up in your new apartment of stuff it was like okay so now just like our plan i'm going to apply for these university programs her position was no I love you I need to be with you every day it's totally unacceptable like you can't leave town for one day [ __ ] it like I respect it like it it's wonderful it's flattering like most people like a lot of people wish they had a husband or wife or girlfriend cared about them that much like it's great but I'm sitting there and it's like this was the plan I you know I mean like I can't move forward in my career in my education if I have to stay within you know 500 meters of you suddenly this absolute was the plan and that was a mean oh ok so that was a long time before we actually got divorced but in a really simple sense that is why we eventually did have to get divorced I had this huge capacity for self sacrifice and in a sense she had none for her it was like no i'm not even going to sacrifice you know sleeping in the same bed as you every day which again it's wonderful it's flattering i totally she really loved me like it's nothing fake about it and I totally appreciate that i was in this relationship with someone who really loved me was passionate over that much but if you can't sacrifice to let me go back to school you know what what can you do so yeah no sacrifice and reproduction yeah I can I could kind of release that and I mean yeah it was like my little relationship that I lost to the longest I mean it was it was the same dynamic I was the one who would youth who would sacrifice everything okay everything and then he was the wine like he was I mean I'm hesitant saying you love to me i think it was like a session right but like he just not happened capacity to sacrifice anything which was it was the only reason why we eventually broke up I mean there was there was other reasons I mean it was inevitable like we got together when we were pretty young you changed a lot my priorities changed a lot but yeah i can i can really realize that it really became like I don't I mean I I think I've heard enough of your videos and maybe really says like it really became like toxic and that's not for like I was giving and giving and giving and like I gave everything that I could and then he would take the rest you know I got it was yeah yeah so when to say like I knew I look back on that and I think we'll did be actually love me if he could be so selfish and I have to say no he didn't I mean depend on me or a definition of what like just because I think that element of self-sacrifice is so necessary and he was just utterly lacking me like he had that emotional component right he was obsessed with me but he couldn't faqs reckoning her so i don't know i would say no he didn't love me yeah i mean like the other thing is funny about how technology changes relationships and this is not about YouTube this is not about YouTube or Facebook or whatever but like you know in the old days so like I used to live in Laos and Cambodia of mention a million times one of the reasons why those countries so much embraced violence and just didn't care about their kids going to war and killing each other and meaningless circumstances including like you know so today we have this sport Thai kickboxing that sport historically used to be fatal it used like the historical like the modern form you know they have padding all the stuff you look into the history of that sport they used to have these small hook knives on their fifth this is unbelievably gruesome course and like you asked of what parents would let their 15 year old son or 12 year old son do this like you get maimed and killed in this sport well again Timmy believes this is coming back to self sacrifice when you have 12 kids your attitude is different right when you got 12 kids if six of them died in the army maybe you don't care so much if you got if you've got four wives and six slaves you know your life is different so I do think that in the historical past maybe people could have relationships and could raise kids without that kind of sacrifice because you know because there were so many people cooperating in the process you know multiple wives multiple slaves extended family but today when a couple you rely so much on just that one other person and nobody else for everything and that's enabled by technology I've never had a servant I've never had someone else you know what I mean clean my apartment either I'm going to do it or my girlfriend's going to do or we do it together and it's like that for everything it's like that for mopping the floor and changing the bait nobody else ever changed my baby's diaper it was either me or my wife for both of us to get that's it you know what I mean the whole like everything whether it's you know whether or not you have kids everything in the relationship you're cooperating so much and I that wasn't the case 500 years ago 500 years ago was really it was real all of these were group activities so yeah I think that capacity for self sacrifice is much much more important than it ever was in the past I just expected yeah all right and also like you know whether or not your parents are crazies to matter more in the past two right because if I was marrying you to raise kids together your parents would be so much more involved it would be this whole you know group of people coming together in the family no I'm Italian like you know that it's not something of the past when the parents are is really involved right I don't know how I tell you you are though I don't know but that I don't know yeah okay myself no like I don't really identifiers Italian but like my mom like my mom speaks Italian really like the moms moms side uh I mean I was the older generation they're kind of you know yeah please just no crude ways they really out there they're all gone now but so they don't really speak Italian that much like they used to speak Italian to the benefit is like the first generation but yeah there's still there pretty Italian and just in terms of like like cultural ideal all right I think my mom yes you may yeah she's extremely devoted to her children really she's really not doing well now that her kids a blessed left the nest when she comes to visit me like Jesus just here actually am a couple days ago like she was here for five minutes and she just puts on the rubber gloves and she's already cleaning oh nice you don't have to do that but that's Francis issues that's how she was raised that's what a mom has got to do so what she does it yeah but even so either those are values if you have a baby in Winnipeg which is not that far away you know how much is your mom going to be involved she could be if your mom's retired already or something she could move to Winnipeg to be there but those well no I just say like those are the big big decisions it does family still last in the 21st century where people move all around the world and get another home another place and and all this stuff you know it'll be hard for your mom it is bad just because my parents they are following me to Winnipeg mom has explicitly stated that wherever I wind up and dinner and have kids like Shane she's going to drag my dad and are going to live there because she wants to be part of the place I can teach your children's life and I'm like all right free babysitting I'm cool that it's so much pressure on you once you have a kid to try to positively cooperate with everyone you can you can possibly cooperate with even if they're crazy even if you hate them even if you still resent the terrible things they did to you in the past you know it's such a pressuring you because your alternative is to hire you know help to hire servants to hire babysitters and I'll give you a min two reasons I mean we're that's so hard for me one is veganism like someone helping take care of your kid who doesn't raising them and the other is you know I believe in soap this has come up i do chicken-- i believe in washing your hands with soap and I don't think I'm phobic about it look I don't think I'm I'm uh you know like a maniac for cleanliness look when i was living in the south of france i was meeting people with the university education who would drop a piece of food on the floor and pick it up and eat it with their fingers it's like what the [ __ ] like I just don't get it like I don't think I'm I don't think of that extreme but like and I would not like if my hands are dirty like if you've been petting your dog I would not let you pet your dog and then put your finger inside my daughter's mouth you know I mean like there's little kids you do have to put your finger you up to take sewing of their mouth or whatever you know or wipe their nose they know you have to wash your hands or use a handkerchief or something I don't think I'm crazy but apparently i mean the tiny minority of human beings who believe that bacteria and viruses exist like okay surely you've heard of the five-second rule great well I just couldn't hear that that phrase I've heard of the five-second rule oh no you practice provides I control I don't know it depends on the food let me if I drop something like moist enough like that's done that's that I'm not gonna eat that but if I what you're telling me but if you're in your own house your own house and you drop a potato chip on the floor well you're not going to eat it no I know exactly how dirty my own floor is why we're not what you think I have any delusion by own feet are so clean no I don't if I drop I don't do any of that I so again the women in my life of all coming in this different ways you know I don't care about tidiness I don't care what tiny as I care about hygiene from either really different things like you know some of the guys I wonder if their heterosexual like both vegan cheetah and Ted car are obsessed with tidiness without an like an empty clean space and they talk about it on YouTube and really like I know if I know it's like racist of me look if you're wondering like are you really heterosexual it's so alien to me if you're a straight man talk about tithing it and they all have complicado so he's like mad at his girlfriend because she doesn't keep his like apartment tidy enough and [ __ ] look I don't care about making the bed you know why if the room is empty if you're not if you can't see the bed who gives a [ __ ] what's neat the bed sheets are in like you can see that it's not about cleanliness like you know that's that's tidiness not cleanliness but no if I drop the fork on the floor I would not put that fork in my mouth until I've washed it by drop food on the floor everything like that those things that actually have to do with hygiene yeah I'm pretty tight on and I believe in soap you know I really believe in the the German theory of disease and the effectiveness of soap yes yes ok I'll say this yes so it was important I wash my hands are you shampoo like a whole whole thing but hmm you know you say that it's unusual that these guys are so tidy but in my experience ok this is ok guys in general I find they're very tiny and girl girl nurse logged like we just we just think welcome back to you having horrible taste in men well just to give you an example right my like I so I I was alone and I have to bathroom so I pick up both bathrooms like my stump mano y is everywhere I live alone I can do it so you know like my dad my brother over here visiting my brother had like a interview in the city so he was here and my dad he walks into the bathroom and I'm like in the other room neither haley anna can you come a you know a clear your stuff out of the bathroom and like i'm thinking like stuff is in there Ellie original stuff in there and I get in there and there's like there's like bras everywhere all the camp on like all the like difficult stuff and stuff and I was like you know what well I am such a slob like I'm not at all like it kinda Nene good you've been dating repressed homosexual that's your problem all these men are gay Oh for me I love that [ __ ] i wear that as a badge if my boss came over to my part because my boss does visit me here which work we're just fine you know i'm happy to have no he's a nice guy but my boss came over and I've got women's underwear and bras sitting around prob I'm proud i'm happy about it yeah you know it's good medicine my desk I'm just gonna say I think girls I know you think but I'm just saying girls just have a lot of stuff here we have a school a lot of things I don't know I don't know why but every girl I know you walk into their bedroom and it's just like ya know provides right and you go to a guy's room and it's just like well they wear jeans every single day like I don't have much stuff well I i I'm at the opposite i I'm in a position understand that so like you know I know so as a girl you have the makeup stuff you have the hair stuff you have all the body stuff and I have nothing because I've never worn makeup in my life but also I've been shaving my head since I was like 16 so I've never even had hair as an adult I don't even own a comb I don't own one brush so no in terms of sharing the bathroom other guys are like oh I need this space you're too good for me nope it can be all you I don't give a [ __ ] next I have no makeup I have no beauty products I have no I don't own a comb i own nothing and you know yeah i remember one of the women who's been calling him glib she's been sending me selfies in the bathroom mirror and she is an extremely objectively good-looking woman there's more than one level of commitment here sending me the bathroom selfie because in that mirror you can see just how much she's invested in makeup here there's could you make a list of all the stuff in that bathroom you know but it doesn't know I know exactly the kind of like male fear but that that does not bother me at all yeah I don't know man it's I think it's a fair for men if the fear of being dominated it's a fear that the woman is going to be the dominant influence in your life you know so what I'm you know you know what do you need to dominate no no yeah normal gaze woman the woman you know sure whether it's in the kitchen or the bathroom or the bedroom sure probably ninety percent of your space is your would [ __ ] well I monogamy works that's why it's so hard that two or three wives at the same time if it's only one woman what's the [ __ ] problem i don't know if you got two or three maybe that gets tough I ditto oh you say no you wouldn't take up much space but you need space for all your soap we know what the most funny contrast that was in Laos so laos in some ways they're culturally unique in some ways a very similar to Thailand because it's a separate country but the culture is overlap it allows the men have this really big hang-up about women's underwear that women's underwear will feel you're you're virtual powers as a man is really weird select the auth oldest all this [ __ ] like women's underwear always has to be hung on the laundry line lower than the men's clothing I'm not like they take it really seriously it's like black magic to them it's like no man you can't let a woman put her bra or panties like up hide what the [ __ ] what and let's do so I was a scholar of I was a scholar of Buddhism at the time and I'm reading like this so in Buddhism the Bible is like a hundred books long like our equivalent to the Bible as many many volumes detectives a huge amount of Scripture really want to say and I had lotion guys asking me that this kind of question that came up to me be like hey man like I hear you're a scholar of ancient Buddhism like yeah yeah yeah that's what I do like so you actually read the ancient language you read pallies like reading angel an agreement yeah yeah like tell me man I always want to know boys it's a about letting your girlfriend hang her panties seriously imagine there's like a lecture from the Buddha thou shalt not allow thy woman to hang her underwear in the bathroom higher than your yeah yeah they were really hung up about it like some of them interpret as you can't ever let your girlfriend's under clothes be higher than your own head and some of them was like you can't let it be higher than your own clothing they were really really [ __ ] up with a stuff cuz like it's gonna steal your it's gonna steal your spiritual potency or something and not joking I quite like that idea like this night undergarments have such power oh yeah but it's a present why shouldn't your underwear always be on top I don't know what what's special about my underwear why does the why do I take priority i vanish yen