"Having a Personality" is a State of Cultural Contradiction.
03 January 2019 [link youtube]
This is an excerpt from a longer (24 min.) video posted to Patreon in direct reply to a request-for-help (advice on living a meaningful life) from a Patreon supporter. Yeah, I look tired: master chef of JET LAG over here.
Yep, the thumbnail reads, "Having a Personality: It's not for everyone."
Youtube Automatic Transcription
I wanted to come back to what you raised
earlier which is what is meant by personality so personality and contrast to identity right and I think probably what she means here is being the sort of person who has something to assert not just who is assertive but someone who when talking to co-workers or family members or something is in effect low-key in a constant state of conflict because they have contrasting views that they want to assert right now why would that be the case I was thinking about this the other day I mean some of these women I forget about but there was a woman a good-looking blonde my type I mean frankly she kind of look like you know some hell no she was she really had the same sort of very feminine face but I remember this woman who sat down next to me on a bus in Laos and in the surgery she was a white blonde woman who said that making it sterilization and really looking back on it she probably was interested in getting into bed with me I was looking back on it was like why was I like why was I so negative towards her why did I completely you know shut her down like yeah I had a lot of personality like I had a lot of things to assert right like is it really positive like you know I was living in a situation where most of the other white men around me were like alcoholic sleeping with prostitutes and there's always this sense of asserting that's not who I am in terms of how I looked I was I was younger that I am now but I was doing 100 push-ups a day not 200 maybe and riding a bicycle and stuff people thought I was in the US military and I was living in a country that had been completely destroyed by the US military Laos more bombs were dropped on Laos than were dropped on Germany and Japan combined in World War two so was country destroyed by American militarism and people think I mean the US mother's I have to assert I'm not in the army not that kind of guy you know and I'm not ex-military either I'm not pro-american no I don't support like in that war I'm not here making excuses for what the Americans do being being good at something and then even within Buddhism right well for one thing the Buddhist eat meat and drink alcohol you know I don't eat meat at all but I'm not this kind of hippy Buddhist I'm not cool with any and if the [ __ ] within that religion so I'm living in a state of many uncomfortable contradictions and I'm always asserting my personality in contrast to people's expectations of me or the demands they're putting on me therefore I have a personality right but it arises through contrasting opposites its perceptual right like also by the way living in Laos people thought I was fat because everyone else is so skinny it didn't actually use the word fat but know that I was consider just considered enormous in all directions but I mean these things arise their relative their their contrast but this is purely you know psychological and based on values it's not based on anything with physical limits like being fat versus being thin now look what if I had been in a cultural context where I wasn't challenged on those things how much personality do I really have you know I want to conform I'm a nonconformist because I live in a society that I despise and a society that despises me and that's not just true of Laos and Cambodia that's incredibly true of say Toronto Canada and you know again then there are different contrasts like I'm not a communist is when I grew up around cockiness so whole you know this this person we don't know that much better obviously having a personality whether it's good or bad the reality is you would arrive at that point of both being perceived as someone who has a personality and actually being a personality if you get out and do work and you know engage the world even if it's something like you study volcanoes whatever it is and then you're living in a context where you have to assert your personality rather than conform to or succumb to things that you despise so I mean so in a meaningful sense I think being a concert having a personality means living in a constant state of contradiction is that people are saying things to you or inviting you to do things even I was I would get invited to go and watch soccer you know obviously from the British before they all come have a beer and watch soccer and I've got to assert back that's not who I am this is who I like you think that's who I am I'm not even insulted that's not who I am I well you know whatever the thing is you're being you're being invited to so look I'm gonna sympathize I think you know she gets the point that we're both saying sure if you really don't have something meaningful in your life you got to take on projects and so on but probably a lot of what you're thinking about in terms of personality has to do with this kind of challenge mutual challenge contrast and contradiction [Music]
earlier which is what is meant by personality so personality and contrast to identity right and I think probably what she means here is being the sort of person who has something to assert not just who is assertive but someone who when talking to co-workers or family members or something is in effect low-key in a constant state of conflict because they have contrasting views that they want to assert right now why would that be the case I was thinking about this the other day I mean some of these women I forget about but there was a woman a good-looking blonde my type I mean frankly she kind of look like you know some hell no she was she really had the same sort of very feminine face but I remember this woman who sat down next to me on a bus in Laos and in the surgery she was a white blonde woman who said that making it sterilization and really looking back on it she probably was interested in getting into bed with me I was looking back on it was like why was I like why was I so negative towards her why did I completely you know shut her down like yeah I had a lot of personality like I had a lot of things to assert right like is it really positive like you know I was living in a situation where most of the other white men around me were like alcoholic sleeping with prostitutes and there's always this sense of asserting that's not who I am in terms of how I looked I was I was younger that I am now but I was doing 100 push-ups a day not 200 maybe and riding a bicycle and stuff people thought I was in the US military and I was living in a country that had been completely destroyed by the US military Laos more bombs were dropped on Laos than were dropped on Germany and Japan combined in World War two so was country destroyed by American militarism and people think I mean the US mother's I have to assert I'm not in the army not that kind of guy you know and I'm not ex-military either I'm not pro-american no I don't support like in that war I'm not here making excuses for what the Americans do being being good at something and then even within Buddhism right well for one thing the Buddhist eat meat and drink alcohol you know I don't eat meat at all but I'm not this kind of hippy Buddhist I'm not cool with any and if the [ __ ] within that religion so I'm living in a state of many uncomfortable contradictions and I'm always asserting my personality in contrast to people's expectations of me or the demands they're putting on me therefore I have a personality right but it arises through contrasting opposites its perceptual right like also by the way living in Laos people thought I was fat because everyone else is so skinny it didn't actually use the word fat but know that I was consider just considered enormous in all directions but I mean these things arise their relative their their contrast but this is purely you know psychological and based on values it's not based on anything with physical limits like being fat versus being thin now look what if I had been in a cultural context where I wasn't challenged on those things how much personality do I really have you know I want to conform I'm a nonconformist because I live in a society that I despise and a society that despises me and that's not just true of Laos and Cambodia that's incredibly true of say Toronto Canada and you know again then there are different contrasts like I'm not a communist is when I grew up around cockiness so whole you know this this person we don't know that much better obviously having a personality whether it's good or bad the reality is you would arrive at that point of both being perceived as someone who has a personality and actually being a personality if you get out and do work and you know engage the world even if it's something like you study volcanoes whatever it is and then you're living in a context where you have to assert your personality rather than conform to or succumb to things that you despise so I mean so in a meaningful sense I think being a concert having a personality means living in a constant state of contradiction is that people are saying things to you or inviting you to do things even I was I would get invited to go and watch soccer you know obviously from the British before they all come have a beer and watch soccer and I've got to assert back that's not who I am this is who I like you think that's who I am I'm not even insulted that's not who I am I well you know whatever the thing is you're being you're being invited to so look I'm gonna sympathize I think you know she gets the point that we're both saying sure if you really don't have something meaningful in your life you got to take on projects and so on but probably a lot of what you're thinking about in terms of personality has to do with this kind of challenge mutual challenge contrast and contradiction [Music]