PUA, the Doomed Subculture of David Bond.
11 July 2019 [link youtube]
This video may or may not contain the secret to the meaning of life, revealed in passing while heaping scorn on "Pick-up artist" (P.U.A.) David Bond. And, yeah, this also deals with the specific issue of "white guy in Asia" privilege, I suppose. Support the creation of new content on Patreon, and you (YES YOU!) can suggest the target of my future demicomedic criticism.
#AntiPUA #AntiMGTOW #advice
Youtube Automatic Transcription
[Music]
you are walking by my name's David I [Music] know oh yeah you look you like doing - you going to store to fix phone and it takes a long time yeah no my phone my friend goes to phone go go get your phone and then meet me down I need a new word in the English language a word that means somebody is boasting about something but really the thing they are boasting about condemns them I need a word that communicates someone is in the act of making grandiose claims about their accomplishments or their character but these very claims instead make them seem pathetic in your word for that in English maybe there's a word for that in German we can borrow no maybe it's a word for that in Japanese right in in the comment section David bond is a so-called pickup artist and I I only know about his YouTube channel because I met him online and I spoke to him we had a voice conversation in a political discussion forum where I wasn't expecting to meet this kind of person wasn't expecting to debate this company let's just jump into it - an example this is from his website what this guy does quote all these anime avatar users posting pictures of hot anime chicks depress me if you want a cute Japanese chick go to Japan and get one um be a man and get a real one I've had sex with literal Japanese school girls in uniform who moaned just like the cartoons and guess what I didn't do it by so stting stuff on the ordinate oh god what makes it so awful is one that he's boasting about this and two that he's trying to make money out of boasting this way and it was misleading the audience into thinking he has some special technique some special skill he can teach you if only you pay him money if only you buy his book here's the photograph here's the photograph that goes with that horrible CAPTCHA okay this chick doesn't look happy to meet you man this chick doesn't look like she's happy to go home with you and how old how old do you think this chick is David I I googled it Japanese High School girls are at best 18 years old when they complete high school they could be 16 17 or 18 depending on what program they're in I googled it I don't know if you did so this is a young woman perhaps 18 years old and you are a man perhaps 30 years old who is in Japan on vacation you were a man who speaks absolutely zero Japanese so your level of intellectual connection with this young woman I mean why don't you just imagine your positions are reversed David David um I'm gonna imagine that maybe in high school when you were 18 you'd studied French maybe German maybe Spanish let's just say you learned a little bit of French how well would you have coped in a relationship with a foreign tourist who is thirty years old thirty year old comes to pick you up and you're communicating entirely in French here's the thing the language barrier between English and French is nothing compared to the language barrier between English and Japanese it's huge Japanese is an extremely difficult language to learn especially written Japanese but that's a topic for another video and you're proud of this you put up this photograph and you're boasting if this photograph existed of me I would be so ashamed of myself and I would be in such a hurry to explain it I want to say but no no it was just raining and I was just helping her out with my with my umbrella and you know what the most pathetic thing of all is David I think it's possible that's the truth about this photograph I think it's possible this woman didn't sleep with you that she's just someone who happened to be standing on the sidewalk and to not have an umbrella and you took this shitty picture so you could try to make money and increase your notoriety but you know if you did sleep with you if I'm if after this photograph was taken you started chit-chatting with her in broken English and you ended up having a love affair during your vacation in Japan with an 18 year old girl hopefully 18 let's let's charitably assume we're in her high school yearbook what do you guys talk about you sit down you sit over breakfast next more and say hey how about that algebra tax test last week hey how about how do you get along with you know mrs. MacGuffin the the the phys ed teacher what did you tell my god sorry it just blows my mind that you're not ashamed of yourself for this that you're boasting about it on the internet now at 30 to 32 years old you don't know better or you don't on some level feel a kind of moral apprehension here that this might be a little bit disgusting laughable or wrong all right but here's the thing David bond it's not just that he slept with a similar claims to claims to have slept with his own he's also taking her image and putting it on his website I assume her image is also on his YouTube channel somewhere if not he has images other young women he's flirting with on his YouTube channel and he's making money by immortalizing the image of them by putting on the Internet that this is a young woman who has a teenager as a high school student had a fling with a white tourist okay so I can imagine but even if you're proud of yourself David she at 8:18 seeing this on the Internet might not feel so proud looking at this photograph I don't think right here she's so proud not not like you you got a kind of smug expression in your face not her but hey you know what even if she was cool with it at 18 this image and the videotape on YouTube it's still gonna be on the Internet when she's 28 38 48 58 68 she can be a grandmother and still have it immortalized on YouTube that she allegedly had a one-night stand with you when you flew in and out of Tokyo or wherever the hell this was filmed it's mind-blowing to me that you're proud of yourself it's mind-blowing to me that you think it's morally acceptable for anyone to make a living by misleading the audience this way I'm not even saying you're misleading the young women you sleep with this way I mean what he's doing here is way less honest than pornography look at this picture right now this picture is just as fake as if I took a picture of myself with Mickey Mouse at Disneyland and said oh yeah me and Mickey Mouse we know each other personally no that's an actor wearing a costume who's paid to take pictures with tourists these two women in costume it's not your girlfriend it's not someone you have a personal connection with again you don't speak Japanese anyway I know what you talk to these are two women wearing sexy Santa Claus outfits look at the women in the background on the right hand side there's a woman there with a backpack and winter coat on the left hand side there's a woman with a sweater that goes all the way down to our long sleeve sweater goes all the way down to arrests it's cold it's winter okay these two women in skimpy outfits are entertainment workers at this bar right there they're nightclub hostesses their job is to be nice with you and get you to buy alcohol this is just as fake and interaction as a tourist with Mickey Mouse at Disneyland and you're presenting this as if it shows your prowess as a pickup artists I mean the little concept that it takes prowess for a white male to get laid in Japan or Thailand is mind-blowing Lee sickeningly false to me what you're doing here is way more dishonest than selling snake oil because I mean snake oil it may at least legitimately be oil from a snake in that sense it's not false advertising what you're doing is hollow and fake to its core and that's basically the story of how I went from a chubby white dork working at a hospital with a white girlfriend and a pug and video games to this why what what yeah yeah what would you say if it were a woman presenting this as her life story instead of a man what would you say if you saw a white woman on the internet who was telling the story with pride that she used to be fat and she stabbed a chubby white boyfriend but then she decided to start a YouTube channel she lost some weight and she went to Africa and slept with a bunch of African teenagers there are white women who do this let's say it's a white woman who flies to Morocco and you know what she could do exactly what you did fun she could be a woman whose sense of self-worth and value and her life is totally hung up on one her physical appearance to the man she happens to be sleeping with me for me that transition that revealed Raziel this was my life before I used to work in a hospital while working in a hospital sounds terrible how meaningless saved people's lives you could do all kinds of morally good things good the Orillia inspirational job working on school but no your life was terrible before when you were working in a hospital you were a chubby white girlfriend and this is my life now here's the reveal it's a Thai woman with fake breasts in a bikini what so just a few months ago I had a job I had a girlfriend I lived in a big house I had a pug and on my free time all I would do was play Mortal Kombat and quake 3 and now I was traveling the entire country spending every single night picking up girls with a dating coach with a microphone on me being filmed and I mean this this became this wild snowball of craziness I went to Japan and I spent basically two months every single day picking up girls all day long and that's basically the story of how I went from a chubby white dork working at a hospital with a white girlfriend and a pug and video games to this it all started with a single YouTube video dude it's the before and after about your life were transformed went from your life before and here's an expensive car I own if you like whoa man what's wrong with you why do you measure yourself worth on YT why is this what the meaning of your life is this car like come on like this can't be that big it death and if this were a woman who went who did the before-and-after like you didn't now Dale this is my life and she showed a picture even if the man she was married to look think about how pathetic they would be think about how negatively that would reflect on this woman like oh this is a woman who thinks of herself as nothing but her body in terms of weight loss and who it is she's hooking up with and that's that's both the myth and the reality of what you're presenting on the Internet David so look I had a chance to talk to David bond more or less one-on-one on the Internet it's complete coincidence at a conversations guy and I said to him look you know what I used to live in Thailand okay I lived there for a couple of years I spoke the language to a limited extent women tried to initiate sex with me every day and by that I mean every day like I went outside the house so I mean realistically I never went to a nightclub I never went to a bar I never went to the places you pick up women I went to the library I went to the museums and stuff but like I say never would a whole week go by without a woman trying to initiate sex with me when I was making no effort at all to initiate sex with them so I mean I wouldn't say everyday just because of the life I led I go to the gym I go to the library I lived in a pretty tight circuit when I was in Thailand Laos and I never did this I never hung out at these kinds of places were stereotypically meant to go women but nevertheless women were trying to initiate with me all the time I would never come on the internet and try to package that as a product that you can buy so you can go to Thailand and have the same great success I am you are walking by I think it's so cute every single one of those women who tried to initiate with me every single one I said no to every single one I declined and you know why fundamentally it's because I was leading a really meaningful life okay I say more about that in a second but that's also the underlying reason why it's shameful for you to boast this way and well I think if you just do as a thought exercise you realize it's shameful what if this were instead a white woman weather flying to Asia or flying to Africa and then boasting about doing the same things you do I mean maybe I'll be a little bit more clear for you that it's shameful when a woman does this and by the same token it's shameful for you too I think the underlying reason why it's shameful is just the sense that you ought to have more substance than this you ought to be leading a more meaningful life and I asked you straight to your face David well look you've been going back back and forth to Thailand over all these years did you even notice that during these years an elected government was replaced by a military dictatorship and then the military dictatorship stage-managed these new lady you know I asked him questions yet he was really interested he had never even heard of this he has never read a newspaper even once and he is a Thai girlfriend he knows absolutely nothing about the political history or current reality in Thailand okay no his Thai girlfriend speaks broken English that's again a huge part of what makes this so dehumanizing and screwed up is that the level of the if it weren't depressing enough to have a relationship with that kind of age gap like 30 old man getting with a girl who's still in high school we add the language gap to the age gap it's really saddening here look man what does it mean to lead a meaningful life I was reminded of this after after watching your videos and after talking to you this this memory I had forgotten this I was in Yunnan China years ago and at that time I just sat down at the table and I got in my book sales and started okay on the language history and politics I was studying and I'd been through a really rough couple of weeks where I really had no time to study and I didn't have a stable apartment or home I just gotten set up with a temporary apartment I would only be in it for a couple of weeks but I was relish I was sitting down hitting the books and starting to study the stuff I wanted to study at this moment I was in a restaurant and a beautiful woman sits down across me I didn't even see her sit down she sits down and starts talking to me she's French she was a white woman from France with red hair now again I was literally looking my books I didn't even realize really how good-looking she was until she stood up and walked away from the table and you know I'm doing my work and she starts talking to me she's a tourist and this is her pitch she says hey I know you're a scholar I know you work on this history and these languages I know you know a lot about the history of this region you have some ability and the languages you know a lot about Buddhism she said she's a tourist she's here she wants to visit these Buddhist temples she wants to go to these archaeological sites and you know she found out about me there aren't that many interesting people living in this town and you know her hotel room is just down the way and why don't we get to know each other and maybe we can spend a week together going from Buddhist temple to Buddhist temple archaeological site to archaeological site now I have to emphasize here she was French and she was a single white woman on vacation in the pitch she made to me it was completely explicit that she was offering to initiate a sexual relationship and this would obviously be a short-term sex relationship probably not a one-night stand probably 7 days or 10 days or whatever would be and you know I sat there and I thought about it you know it was five seconds or 10 seconds and I said to her this was true but it wasn't the whole truth I said to her you know right now I'm sitting down with these books this is the first time I've really been able to get back to my studies get back to my research after a couple of weeks living out of different hotels living out of a back we've just kind of been running around and having no stability in my life you know right now what I'm really motivated to do is get back to this research language history politics this is really what my life is about so I'm sorry you know I'm not gonna do with you as I say I didn't realize just how good-looking a woman she was and of course today I understand French culture now than I did then she had probably never been rejected in her life she stood up and before she stood up she was devastated I mean he you know it was rejection and a lot of people don't deal well with rejection but I think you know she knew that she had communicated to me very clearly that she was offering to sleep with me straight up first conversation I've ever had and she lives in a culture in France where men are very aggressive and very flirtatious even when there's no possibility of sex I really dislike that about French culture like as a man especially than a certain age range you're expected even when you're buying groceries to flirt with the girl who's selling you the groceries like there's a lot of there's a high expectation that men are gonna flirt and are gonna create the illusion possibility of sleeping with someone all the time in French culture and here I was she was straight up offering to get into bed with me under these ridiculous circumstances and here I was rejecting her and shutting her down now the reason I gave her was true the other reason is I'm looking at that and I'm thinking well what kind of meaningful relationship I'm not gonna have with this person they're basically just looking to kind of use me during their vacation it's true I knew a lot about the history in college I could probably give her a very interesting walking tour of some of those Buddhist temples and explain what the iconography means and explain the history you know I know I know the kind of role she's looking for me to play and that may be meaningful and inspirational for her but it's not for me that's gonna be a very asymmetrical very unequal relationship and after one week you know it's gone and so she didn't quite break down weeping openly but I mean she was really emotionally impacted by this even though I said kind of nothing mean and then you know she kind of calmed down she just silently sat there and then she stood up and and slowly walked away that's a remarkable and memorable moment in my life but I'd totally forgotten about it so I had this conversation with with Mr Bond with this this pickup artist in a sense that's an extreme and overt example of what was happening on a really fast covert way when I was rejecting other women in Thailand most of these women David Bond boasts of picking up in his videos like he's proud that he met some random Thai chicken at a shopping mall and that he manages to take her ominous I said that woman I would not have slept with her if you paid me I mean if you have something meaningful in your life if your life is more valuable than just your body if there's something you're doing with your time it's really rewarding it's not that you play hard-to-get it's that you genuinely are hard to get because your time is worth something what you do with your brain and your body is worth something at least to you probably to other people and people are gonna pursue you anyway because they're aware that what you have to offer is not just sex it's a meaningful relationship and meaningful relationships bottom line are a lot harder to get than this kind of fantasy that's peddled for money by david bond [Music]
you are walking by my name's David I [Music] know oh yeah you look you like doing - you going to store to fix phone and it takes a long time yeah no my phone my friend goes to phone go go get your phone and then meet me down I need a new word in the English language a word that means somebody is boasting about something but really the thing they are boasting about condemns them I need a word that communicates someone is in the act of making grandiose claims about their accomplishments or their character but these very claims instead make them seem pathetic in your word for that in English maybe there's a word for that in German we can borrow no maybe it's a word for that in Japanese right in in the comment section David bond is a so-called pickup artist and I I only know about his YouTube channel because I met him online and I spoke to him we had a voice conversation in a political discussion forum where I wasn't expecting to meet this kind of person wasn't expecting to debate this company let's just jump into it - an example this is from his website what this guy does quote all these anime avatar users posting pictures of hot anime chicks depress me if you want a cute Japanese chick go to Japan and get one um be a man and get a real one I've had sex with literal Japanese school girls in uniform who moaned just like the cartoons and guess what I didn't do it by so stting stuff on the ordinate oh god what makes it so awful is one that he's boasting about this and two that he's trying to make money out of boasting this way and it was misleading the audience into thinking he has some special technique some special skill he can teach you if only you pay him money if only you buy his book here's the photograph here's the photograph that goes with that horrible CAPTCHA okay this chick doesn't look happy to meet you man this chick doesn't look like she's happy to go home with you and how old how old do you think this chick is David I I googled it Japanese High School girls are at best 18 years old when they complete high school they could be 16 17 or 18 depending on what program they're in I googled it I don't know if you did so this is a young woman perhaps 18 years old and you are a man perhaps 30 years old who is in Japan on vacation you were a man who speaks absolutely zero Japanese so your level of intellectual connection with this young woman I mean why don't you just imagine your positions are reversed David David um I'm gonna imagine that maybe in high school when you were 18 you'd studied French maybe German maybe Spanish let's just say you learned a little bit of French how well would you have coped in a relationship with a foreign tourist who is thirty years old thirty year old comes to pick you up and you're communicating entirely in French here's the thing the language barrier between English and French is nothing compared to the language barrier between English and Japanese it's huge Japanese is an extremely difficult language to learn especially written Japanese but that's a topic for another video and you're proud of this you put up this photograph and you're boasting if this photograph existed of me I would be so ashamed of myself and I would be in such a hurry to explain it I want to say but no no it was just raining and I was just helping her out with my with my umbrella and you know what the most pathetic thing of all is David I think it's possible that's the truth about this photograph I think it's possible this woman didn't sleep with you that she's just someone who happened to be standing on the sidewalk and to not have an umbrella and you took this shitty picture so you could try to make money and increase your notoriety but you know if you did sleep with you if I'm if after this photograph was taken you started chit-chatting with her in broken English and you ended up having a love affair during your vacation in Japan with an 18 year old girl hopefully 18 let's let's charitably assume we're in her high school yearbook what do you guys talk about you sit down you sit over breakfast next more and say hey how about that algebra tax test last week hey how about how do you get along with you know mrs. MacGuffin the the the phys ed teacher what did you tell my god sorry it just blows my mind that you're not ashamed of yourself for this that you're boasting about it on the internet now at 30 to 32 years old you don't know better or you don't on some level feel a kind of moral apprehension here that this might be a little bit disgusting laughable or wrong all right but here's the thing David bond it's not just that he slept with a similar claims to claims to have slept with his own he's also taking her image and putting it on his website I assume her image is also on his YouTube channel somewhere if not he has images other young women he's flirting with on his YouTube channel and he's making money by immortalizing the image of them by putting on the Internet that this is a young woman who has a teenager as a high school student had a fling with a white tourist okay so I can imagine but even if you're proud of yourself David she at 8:18 seeing this on the Internet might not feel so proud looking at this photograph I don't think right here she's so proud not not like you you got a kind of smug expression in your face not her but hey you know what even if she was cool with it at 18 this image and the videotape on YouTube it's still gonna be on the Internet when she's 28 38 48 58 68 she can be a grandmother and still have it immortalized on YouTube that she allegedly had a one-night stand with you when you flew in and out of Tokyo or wherever the hell this was filmed it's mind-blowing to me that you're proud of yourself it's mind-blowing to me that you think it's morally acceptable for anyone to make a living by misleading the audience this way I'm not even saying you're misleading the young women you sleep with this way I mean what he's doing here is way less honest than pornography look at this picture right now this picture is just as fake as if I took a picture of myself with Mickey Mouse at Disneyland and said oh yeah me and Mickey Mouse we know each other personally no that's an actor wearing a costume who's paid to take pictures with tourists these two women in costume it's not your girlfriend it's not someone you have a personal connection with again you don't speak Japanese anyway I know what you talk to these are two women wearing sexy Santa Claus outfits look at the women in the background on the right hand side there's a woman there with a backpack and winter coat on the left hand side there's a woman with a sweater that goes all the way down to our long sleeve sweater goes all the way down to arrests it's cold it's winter okay these two women in skimpy outfits are entertainment workers at this bar right there they're nightclub hostesses their job is to be nice with you and get you to buy alcohol this is just as fake and interaction as a tourist with Mickey Mouse at Disneyland and you're presenting this as if it shows your prowess as a pickup artists I mean the little concept that it takes prowess for a white male to get laid in Japan or Thailand is mind-blowing Lee sickeningly false to me what you're doing here is way more dishonest than selling snake oil because I mean snake oil it may at least legitimately be oil from a snake in that sense it's not false advertising what you're doing is hollow and fake to its core and that's basically the story of how I went from a chubby white dork working at a hospital with a white girlfriend and a pug and video games to this why what what yeah yeah what would you say if it were a woman presenting this as her life story instead of a man what would you say if you saw a white woman on the internet who was telling the story with pride that she used to be fat and she stabbed a chubby white boyfriend but then she decided to start a YouTube channel she lost some weight and she went to Africa and slept with a bunch of African teenagers there are white women who do this let's say it's a white woman who flies to Morocco and you know what she could do exactly what you did fun she could be a woman whose sense of self-worth and value and her life is totally hung up on one her physical appearance to the man she happens to be sleeping with me for me that transition that revealed Raziel this was my life before I used to work in a hospital while working in a hospital sounds terrible how meaningless saved people's lives you could do all kinds of morally good things good the Orillia inspirational job working on school but no your life was terrible before when you were working in a hospital you were a chubby white girlfriend and this is my life now here's the reveal it's a Thai woman with fake breasts in a bikini what so just a few months ago I had a job I had a girlfriend I lived in a big house I had a pug and on my free time all I would do was play Mortal Kombat and quake 3 and now I was traveling the entire country spending every single night picking up girls with a dating coach with a microphone on me being filmed and I mean this this became this wild snowball of craziness I went to Japan and I spent basically two months every single day picking up girls all day long and that's basically the story of how I went from a chubby white dork working at a hospital with a white girlfriend and a pug and video games to this it all started with a single YouTube video dude it's the before and after about your life were transformed went from your life before and here's an expensive car I own if you like whoa man what's wrong with you why do you measure yourself worth on YT why is this what the meaning of your life is this car like come on like this can't be that big it death and if this were a woman who went who did the before-and-after like you didn't now Dale this is my life and she showed a picture even if the man she was married to look think about how pathetic they would be think about how negatively that would reflect on this woman like oh this is a woman who thinks of herself as nothing but her body in terms of weight loss and who it is she's hooking up with and that's that's both the myth and the reality of what you're presenting on the Internet David so look I had a chance to talk to David bond more or less one-on-one on the Internet it's complete coincidence at a conversations guy and I said to him look you know what I used to live in Thailand okay I lived there for a couple of years I spoke the language to a limited extent women tried to initiate sex with me every day and by that I mean every day like I went outside the house so I mean realistically I never went to a nightclub I never went to a bar I never went to the places you pick up women I went to the library I went to the museums and stuff but like I say never would a whole week go by without a woman trying to initiate sex with me when I was making no effort at all to initiate sex with them so I mean I wouldn't say everyday just because of the life I led I go to the gym I go to the library I lived in a pretty tight circuit when I was in Thailand Laos and I never did this I never hung out at these kinds of places were stereotypically meant to go women but nevertheless women were trying to initiate with me all the time I would never come on the internet and try to package that as a product that you can buy so you can go to Thailand and have the same great success I am you are walking by I think it's so cute every single one of those women who tried to initiate with me every single one I said no to every single one I declined and you know why fundamentally it's because I was leading a really meaningful life okay I say more about that in a second but that's also the underlying reason why it's shameful for you to boast this way and well I think if you just do as a thought exercise you realize it's shameful what if this were instead a white woman weather flying to Asia or flying to Africa and then boasting about doing the same things you do I mean maybe I'll be a little bit more clear for you that it's shameful when a woman does this and by the same token it's shameful for you too I think the underlying reason why it's shameful is just the sense that you ought to have more substance than this you ought to be leading a more meaningful life and I asked you straight to your face David well look you've been going back back and forth to Thailand over all these years did you even notice that during these years an elected government was replaced by a military dictatorship and then the military dictatorship stage-managed these new lady you know I asked him questions yet he was really interested he had never even heard of this he has never read a newspaper even once and he is a Thai girlfriend he knows absolutely nothing about the political history or current reality in Thailand okay no his Thai girlfriend speaks broken English that's again a huge part of what makes this so dehumanizing and screwed up is that the level of the if it weren't depressing enough to have a relationship with that kind of age gap like 30 old man getting with a girl who's still in high school we add the language gap to the age gap it's really saddening here look man what does it mean to lead a meaningful life I was reminded of this after after watching your videos and after talking to you this this memory I had forgotten this I was in Yunnan China years ago and at that time I just sat down at the table and I got in my book sales and started okay on the language history and politics I was studying and I'd been through a really rough couple of weeks where I really had no time to study and I didn't have a stable apartment or home I just gotten set up with a temporary apartment I would only be in it for a couple of weeks but I was relish I was sitting down hitting the books and starting to study the stuff I wanted to study at this moment I was in a restaurant and a beautiful woman sits down across me I didn't even see her sit down she sits down and starts talking to me she's French she was a white woman from France with red hair now again I was literally looking my books I didn't even realize really how good-looking she was until she stood up and walked away from the table and you know I'm doing my work and she starts talking to me she's a tourist and this is her pitch she says hey I know you're a scholar I know you work on this history and these languages I know you know a lot about the history of this region you have some ability and the languages you know a lot about Buddhism she said she's a tourist she's here she wants to visit these Buddhist temples she wants to go to these archaeological sites and you know she found out about me there aren't that many interesting people living in this town and you know her hotel room is just down the way and why don't we get to know each other and maybe we can spend a week together going from Buddhist temple to Buddhist temple archaeological site to archaeological site now I have to emphasize here she was French and she was a single white woman on vacation in the pitch she made to me it was completely explicit that she was offering to initiate a sexual relationship and this would obviously be a short-term sex relationship probably not a one-night stand probably 7 days or 10 days or whatever would be and you know I sat there and I thought about it you know it was five seconds or 10 seconds and I said to her this was true but it wasn't the whole truth I said to her you know right now I'm sitting down with these books this is the first time I've really been able to get back to my studies get back to my research after a couple of weeks living out of different hotels living out of a back we've just kind of been running around and having no stability in my life you know right now what I'm really motivated to do is get back to this research language history politics this is really what my life is about so I'm sorry you know I'm not gonna do with you as I say I didn't realize just how good-looking a woman she was and of course today I understand French culture now than I did then she had probably never been rejected in her life she stood up and before she stood up she was devastated I mean he you know it was rejection and a lot of people don't deal well with rejection but I think you know she knew that she had communicated to me very clearly that she was offering to sleep with me straight up first conversation I've ever had and she lives in a culture in France where men are very aggressive and very flirtatious even when there's no possibility of sex I really dislike that about French culture like as a man especially than a certain age range you're expected even when you're buying groceries to flirt with the girl who's selling you the groceries like there's a lot of there's a high expectation that men are gonna flirt and are gonna create the illusion possibility of sleeping with someone all the time in French culture and here I was she was straight up offering to get into bed with me under these ridiculous circumstances and here I was rejecting her and shutting her down now the reason I gave her was true the other reason is I'm looking at that and I'm thinking well what kind of meaningful relationship I'm not gonna have with this person they're basically just looking to kind of use me during their vacation it's true I knew a lot about the history in college I could probably give her a very interesting walking tour of some of those Buddhist temples and explain what the iconography means and explain the history you know I know I know the kind of role she's looking for me to play and that may be meaningful and inspirational for her but it's not for me that's gonna be a very asymmetrical very unequal relationship and after one week you know it's gone and so she didn't quite break down weeping openly but I mean she was really emotionally impacted by this even though I said kind of nothing mean and then you know she kind of calmed down she just silently sat there and then she stood up and and slowly walked away that's a remarkable and memorable moment in my life but I'd totally forgotten about it so I had this conversation with with Mr Bond with this this pickup artist in a sense that's an extreme and overt example of what was happening on a really fast covert way when I was rejecting other women in Thailand most of these women David Bond boasts of picking up in his videos like he's proud that he met some random Thai chicken at a shopping mall and that he manages to take her ominous I said that woman I would not have slept with her if you paid me I mean if you have something meaningful in your life if your life is more valuable than just your body if there's something you're doing with your time it's really rewarding it's not that you play hard-to-get it's that you genuinely are hard to get because your time is worth something what you do with your brain and your body is worth something at least to you probably to other people and people are gonna pursue you anyway because they're aware that what you have to offer is not just sex it's a meaningful relationship and meaningful relationships bottom line are a lot harder to get than this kind of fantasy that's peddled for money by david bond [Music]