Why I Am No Longer Vegan | Quitting After 4 Years

[Music]
I want to start off with saying that this is my journey it is my experience this is how I felt and feel right now I've been vegan for four years almost and I'm not vegan anymore and I'm gonna tell you why I went vegan because of health reasons I felt better I felt energetic I was stressing less about the little things in my life and learning so much about the world how things were made how our food was made learning about the agricultural industry is learning more about health in general and our bodies I had more anxiety than I ever had especially in this first half of this year I have more and more negative thinking patterns which got the deeper and deeper and I got into them very easily I had episodes of binge eating a lot like I never had them before before I was vegan I didn't haven't them as severe as I did when I was vegan I also perched not because I wanted to be thin I didn't I don't think it was anorexia or bulimia I've no idea but I purged foods out of my body because I felt that they were toxic inside of me like I didn't want that digesting in my body my skin progressively got worse so it got better in the first two years never really completely as great this year especially in the beginning of this year I remember it got so bad got really big bumps that was the time that I also didn't film that much they don't want to flog myself with these big hits on my face I just kept on breaking out in my jaw line in my chin like never before it didn't stop I got I get this big get these big bumps underneath my my skin and they would just not disappear I would get them in my neck again I didn't know how to solve that my hair kept spinning and not getting thicker I thought my hair would grow thicker and more luscious after going vegan but before I was vegan my hair was thicker and my hair was better texture my hair didn't split as much as it does now I noticed especially in this this year that my skin is getting drier and drier as much as I was trying to eat my fruits because they are so healthy for you I I really did not like to eat them anymore I couldn't eat more than two bananas in my smoothie because I would get itchy I would get itchy and my around this part of my body especially I would get these little little tiny bumps that weren't really sits and I got cold hands and cold feet all the time and a cold nose and cold lips I was also being so judgmental in the beginning of my my journey I judged people for not eating in the same way that I did like everything revolves around food I started to get very negative about my body image I also lost my period for four months which I will do a video about after every meal I birthed birth birth i it was so strange this list goes on and on I remember the muscles in my thighs were a lot bigger and stronger before going vegan my teeth were more sensitive and I got joint aches in the last six months and I felt it definitely went squatting and doing those things and I followed so many strange people on YouTube and followed their advice there were a lot of girls girls which I in the years have stopped on following because they were always so negative negative about their body images image always talking about how they felt depressed or that they were binge eating and overeating having all kinds of disorders and eating disorders and I also felt like I needed to detox constantly for feeling bloated or I had acne or when I ate something really bad or I felt like [ __ ] like I wanted to constantly cleanse my body I ate an egg and I literally felt better and this is no joke I also thought those ex vegans on YouTube were crazy the Auryn how can you feel instantly better from just eating me an egg but now I experienced it myself I just felt amazing right away after within three days I just had a constant smile on my face I was so happy I had zero negative thoughts I didn't went into a negative thought cycle once and I really couldn't stop thinking about eating some meet which was strange and this is me just observing myself right so I'm not just saying this to to trigger someone or two makes vegans feel bad or anything this was how I felt and this is almost after four years of being completely vegan I have never eaten a piece of meat in that time again I never ate a boiled egg I never had milk cheese none of that I noticed that my body needed fat a little period before I stopped eating feeding and I ate more avocados I ate more salads green juices and I left out the fruits because I didn't felt good anymore on fruits and I did felt a little better but not as good as after eating that organic egg since the first of August now it's now the 5th of August I have no bloating at all my stomach is as flattened just to say it I ate a chicken salad with more chicken than salad I feel so say she ate it I'm not thinking about what I'm gonna eat next I feel good and I didn't overstuffed myself what I always used to do also on a vegan diet I would always be constantly eating eating until I was completely full until like I felt the food coming back up my throat again so I feel like I was missing something especially in the last year as if I was missing something and I didn't know what because I was always stuck in that vegan paradise I feel happier I'm not struggling to be happy or to stay positive I'm not doing that extra hard work to stay happy because I'm a I'm a really optimistic person I'm very energetic and I love life and I want to live my life but I was struggling so hard to stay like that and these bumps of acne reduced right away I just have one bump underneath the service and two new bumps on top of my skin the rest of the bumps in my jawline are gone in five days gone within the first three days from the first of August to the third of August I lost more than two kilograms which I don't know I feel brainwashed I earthlings for example and it it hurt I cried when I watched that because no nobody no human wants to see that or see that to be done on an animal no one wants that and instead of trying to go vegetarian first I went completely vegan instead of trying to maybe eat organic animal products from high quality not from that agricultural business I just went vegan right away I had to go vegan because I didn't want to be a cruel mean person but now I know you're not a cruel mean person you're not a murderer for eating meat dairy or eggs evolution