Onision's Anal-Sex-Only Relationship with a Teenage Girl.

I wanted to make a video speaking a
little bit about selfishness about being excessively self-centered and the way that kind of warps our perception of reality initia is a case study in this but you know so too is my own father in two important respects an ins mentality his way of thinking his way of living really does remind me of my father for one thing a Nissen is constantly lying he's constantly being manipulative and deceptive but he perceives himself as being honest and there's a sense in which he's being as honest with you as he can be which is really pathetic it's really tragedy bold and that's what my father was like his whole life oh and not just about sex in his sex life about politics about his professional life about everything and you know you could corner my father into telling the truth you could kind of take an hour and point out to him the contradictions and what he was saying and put him in check and explain but it was such a coach protective effort because if you then talked to him just a few days later he'd be back to deceiving himself on the same issue and he'd be back to trying to deceive you on the same issue too as if you could be deceived you know when you'd figured this stuff out and after he discredited himself you know anisia and my father both they were men who utterly lived a lie at all times and for that reason they're they're not even really aware of the way in which they're deceiving you when they're in that act of manipulation I think this is rooted in selfishness you know it seems shockingly honest it seems jarring ly honest when an isiand comes on camera and admits to you that he had an anal sex only relationship with this teenage girl age 18 age 19 so he was having vaginal sex with his wife and he was having anal sex only with this 18 and he just States this you of course there's a sense of which is just mind-blowing like why wouldn't you just omit that from the view why wouldn't you just not mention that it's so damning it's so it's just so disorienting it's unbelievable that you would admit that and maybe some people respond to that disclosure by then imagining everything and is seen as saying is tremendously honest in the same way because you know there's this one one detail in there that's shockingly honest okay admit that was not the only detail that shocked me maybe I'm naive maybe I'm easily shocked but of course that that one detail it in itself is very deceptive and manipulative in the following way he presents this to you as if it were the most natural thing in the world that his wife made him promise not to have vaginal sex with this girl his wife made him promise not to have oral sex with this girl and he and the girl were gonna meet up spend a week together without his wife they were gonna spend some time together alone he's presented to you with absolutely no irony by an insane as if as if this were his wife giving positive consent for him to have anal sex with this girl obviously what he did was to cynically and dishonestly interpret his wife's telling him not to have sex with her his wife forcing him to promise not to have sex with her he interpreted this as if it were positive permission for him to have anal sex with this curl like the fact that he made a promise not to have vaginal oral sex with her as if oh well as if therefore his wife has no problem with him having anal sex there and the depth of the selfishness is shown in that there's there's no consideration given whatsoever to what this means to his wife like how is his wife gonna feel about it when she finds out that he met up with this girl and he obeyed the letter of the law but not the spirit of the law that they had anal sex only no factional sex like do you think she's gonna be happy Greg good you think she's gonna be happy James you think she's gonna be happy anisia I don't know what name to call do you think she's gonna be happy like oh good good for you I'm so glad you kept up your side of the bargain I'm so glad you lived up to your side of the deal obviously she's gonna be shocked and horrified and disoriented to learn this and there's also no thought given whatsoever to what it meant to the 18 or 19 year old girl and depending on which side of the story you bleed which version of the story you believe I should say you know she may or may not have lost her virginity with an Sen but it was explicit that this was her first experience they know sex you know okay so in this scene you're saying under these circumstances she agreed to this even if we treat that as true why is he so utterly lacking in sympathy for the other side where he thinks through why she agreed to this what this meant to her you know I mean do we do we live in a world where oh yeah that makes sense so he has vaginal sex with his wife and then he cheats on her with this 18 19 year-old but that's anal sex only so that's good it's it's just surreal it doesn't even sound like a plot someone would come up with for a pornographic film you know um but he's so selfish he's so self-centered that this doesn't just lead him to manipulate others it also makes him very easily manipulated by others and again this is really strikingly similar to my father my father he was lying to other people all the time but he was so easily lied to he was so easily deceived by lies he was so incapable of figuring out that other people were lying because he would never ask himself the question why is this person telling me this what motivates them why do they want me to know this why do they want me to think this way or what are they trying to make me feel what are they trying to make me do and if you're not excessively selfish you think that all the time like without even like making an effort to compute through that step by step all the time you're just being sensitive and thinking ok if I tell this to this person how are they gonna feel about it what are they gonna assume about my motivations like why am i telling this you might examine your own motivations why am i motivated to tell this person else and you know you think about both sides in an analytical way and you know you may be sensitive you may be insensitive but you're still thinking about it you're still analyzing it extremely selfish people excessively self-centered people those thoughts don't even occur to them they treat the things other people tell them as a kind of unbelievably simplistic fact and then they expect others to likewise be so uncritical and credulous and trusting in just taking on board whatever they tell them you know as a simple fact the part of the tragedy of the the story in SEN is now burden us all with is that it's obvious all these women are lying to him and manipulating him at every stage of the story go this does not make an issue the good guy don't get I really don't sympathize with his position I really don't it's not merely that I disapprove of him I really do I really do heap scorn and criticism the guy nevertheless at every stage of the story Kai is lying to him Laney is lying to him Laney is manipulating him and it just doesn't even occur to him that he's being manipulated right like I mean at one stage kai is telling him that she's bisexual and completely fine with bringing another woman into their life the woman in this case Billy comes in and simply because she's jealous that he's kissing her too much I think this is before any of them had sex she threatens divorce just as threatened divorce she gets a lawyer and serves him with paperwork and moves into another apartment there's this whole calamity I mean the extent to what she's bossing him around she brings this other woman into their lives this is the more recent woman Sarah age 18 and 19 is what happens and she then decides that she's only interested in monogamy with Gregg so she actually doesn't describe this as her becoming heterosexual she decides that she's gay because she she considers herself a man but she only wants to be in a monogamous relationship with another man ie Gregg whereas she formerly she originally identified as a heterosexual female and then as a bisexual female this went through phases in the period of time um you know there were such obvious elements manipulation here his former relationship with Shiloh fake illnesses I mean at every stage she's lying to him and manipulating him most obviously and demonstrably with with imaginary illnesses that she's making out to manipulate him all of these women and you know even including Sarah they are telling an S in at different stages what they think he wants to hear in order to get him to do a specific thing in order to achieve a specific outcome and he receives all this information completely guilelessly in a completely unsophisticated way I think it is because he is you know so extremely self-centered so extremely selfish that entails a kind of dehumanization of the other people in his life now I don't think I don't think an SDN is insane you know I feel strange saying that because I mean I do consider my own father to have been insane I really do in my father's case I mean I you know I lived with my father for so many years I observed him for so many years but I mean this kind of extreme selfishness I think probably if you can remember your early childhood I think probably it's a stage most of us go through that we have all that have I mean it's fundamentally just a very simple-minded childish way of dealing with the world you know it's not really that you have an excessive interest in your own pleasure in your own enjoyment in the pursuit of your own ends it's that your utter failing to go through the process of thinking thinking about other people's perspective just thinking okay if I do this what is my wife gonna think of me six months from now what is this teenager Sarah gonna think of you say what are gonna be the knocking Constance how is how is this gonna be for her you know again why is she motivated to say the things she says to me what are the outcomes you know I think you can be powerfully motivated by your own self-interest and yet be considerate towards other people's interests and yet have a kind of detached and analytical view of what your actions mean for other people what the impacts are gonna be for them you know very simply you can be selfish and at the same time caring and considerate towards others I think you know what a Nissen gives us is a case study of just how bizarre the outcomes are when people pursue their own self-interest in the total absence of that kind of consideration and part of the outcome is that while he is lying to and manipulating others he is himself unbelievably easily manipulated