Onision, what it means TO BE UNDERSTANDING with a broken heart.

this is a rare example of a video where
I know for a fact some people even if it's only a few dozen people are gonna see this who've never watched my channel before who have no idea who I am or what kind of content we usually talk about here so I'm gonna get straight to the point in case you only watched the first two minutes of this video my advice for a Nisshin my advice for anyone in a circumstance remotely resembling the disaster and the Sienna got himself into in this last year is stop explaining there are these situations where as a man explaining more and more only makes your situation worse and worse don't explain just state one that you sympathize demonstrate that you sympathize and to state that you understand the seriousness of the situation that's all that anyone needs to hear out of your mouth nobody needs to hear whose fault it is nobody needs to hear you apportioning blame nobody needs to hear you explaining what your own motivations were at the time one year ago this disaster and initia knife started unfolding phase one of his disaster is almost exactly one year ago today okay and he made all these really complex overwrought videos explaining what he was thinking and what he was turned on by if lucky was aspiring to do and how he feels about his wife and how he feels about the other woman and no no all he needed to do was come on camera and say I understand a lot of people have hurt feelings I understand that you're upset the other women is life you're upset for a good reason I know how hard this must be for you dun dun dun Jesus Christ yeah it blows my mind I mean I'll say why I care about an se on at all in just a minute but I mean I think part of the problem both for the men and for the women hearing this sort of thing so many of us are raised to expect a problem to be responded to by our parents or by our schoolteachers by a person in authority personal they expect a problem to be responded to with these words don't worry about it it's not a problem it'll be okay and you probably grow up thinking that those words are virtuous and kind and responsible and they're not they're dismissive and insulting and they escalate a conflict to this kind the last thing a woman needs to hear when her heart is breaking when you're in these bizarre and terrible situations real or imaginary the last thing the woman needs to hear is it'll be okay it's alright it doesn't matter these things all amount to telling someone you're upset for no good reason the last thing she needs to hear is you're upset but it's your fault you're upset but just take the opposite course even if you can't accept responsibility and say that it's your fault maybe it is maybe it isn't maybe you can say that maybe you can't just sympathize I before I said say that you don't see that you sympathize prove that you sympathize demonstrate that you sympathize and say that you understand how serious the situation is ended yeah one year ago when this girl so there's a Nisshin there's his wife and there's the other woman the other woman's name is Billie so she's a she's a female but you're her name or a nickname is his Billy 1 year ago Billy put up a video and to my knowledge she was 18 years old at the time she could have turned 19 I don't know when her birthday is but this relationship started when she was an 18 year old girl and 1 year ago when phase 1 of this disaster happened and a Nisshin had destroyed his marriage over this girl in volt for a situation involving this girl his wife had left him his wife had moved out of the house his wife made him sign an agreement about custody and he was paying in effect child support briefly his marriage disintegrated they patched it up they got back together a very very serious situation and this girl this 18 year old she was 18 when it started she came on the internet and she made the most mature statement anybody ever made before during her since she came on the internet and she said you know initio is not a bad guy his wife is not a bad woman they're not bad people sometimes bad people but part of me sometimes good people just make bad decisions beautiful this is like you know somebody who's been trained in political science would rarely make such a mature and reasonable statement and in this he and all you had to do was appreciate that and all you had to do was say back I understand you're hurt I understand you know the sorrow and anguish you must be going through and you know it's not for no reason this is a situation which any reasonable person would be feeling a lot of sorrow a lot of anguish and initia NIF you had said that one year ago then still too both sides of the conflict could have kept it at that level the other woman Billy she could still be saying you're not a bad person you just made some of the wrong choices just made some bad decisions and you could still be saying I understand there are a lot of hurt feelings it's too bad it worked out this way you know Wow why do I care about anisia at all someone here in my livestream was just asking I mean why is this even interesting to me you know I think if you're on YouTube whether you're in a small pond or a big pond whether you're making videos for a category that's so specialized you can never make any money out of it or you're on the more commercial side trying to earn your living on YouTube guys who came on first and guys who really rode this wagon until the wheels fell off they showed us the dangers and the potential of YouTube they showed us how YouTube can change your life and destroy your life in so many ways anisia and the amazing atheists they are really the Trailblazers they're some of the first guys to come on and do it large and anisia Joe's you the ways in which a certain kind of megalomania and stardom can creep into your life even when I mean you know initia n-- he's not famous he's achieved the kind of micro Fame he's achieved a kind notoriety you know for some segments of the public but you know if you pick up a newspaper you're never gonna see an issue and in the front 10 pages and you're never gonna see an issue in the back 10 pages either right and that's worth keeping in mind but nevertheless I mean this guy got himself into a situation where I mean and now he's basically taking the red flags the warning signs he should have paid attention to himself and using them to harass and insult and denigrate this younger woman Billy Billy Don Webb he's saying things like well Billy when you were 18 and this Ian invited you into their lives she was an eighteen year old high school dropout and an isiand paid her according to him paid her $10,000 10,000 u.s. dollars he offered to buy her a car and he was paying for her to get a driver's license so that he could buy her a car and he was committed to paying for her tuition so she could go to a college for cosmetology in a beauty school or some people say aesthetics school okay you know you know you tell me Ana Seon did you fall in love with this girl did you choose her despite those red flags or because of them initia now says she comes from a bad home and she has a traumatic past anissa's publicly and the girl was not a do it publicly that this girl had a traumatic experience with being a victim of rape of some kind that she had a it was a victim of having an some terrible situation she had an abortion this stuff is all vague and I think it's made more vague so it's even more defamatory towards her and so on he's really doing this to shame and humiliate her and he says that she comes from a bad family a family of criminals and she's grown up in these way okay okay Ana sein okay so do you want us to believe that you chose her because you you you picked her you chose her and you paid for her airplane ticket and you put ten thousand dollars in her pocket for her time are you saying you chose her despite those facts or because of them there are some 18 year olds who are I think so pugnacious so self-confident so self-reliant that they could cope with the situation this young woman was put into I assume when she was 18 and then 19 I assume she got a year older at some point there are some people who could cope with it at that age not this one Greg not this one and I see I think of all the 18 year olds you could possibly profile you yourself vinícius Greg you yourself in condemning this woman in defaming her and denouncing her this way you are listing off exactly the reasons exactly the factors that would make her weak susceptible unable to resist unable to stand up for herself unable to enter into this especially high stress and bizarre relationship a three-way relationship with you know a 30 year old man a 30 year old man putting money in her pocket and buying her a car you've listed off so many factors that don't reflect badly on her they were affect badly on you Greg because you chose her you chose to play by these rules and you chose to treat it this way okay so I do have to think about this stuff you know in contrast to my own life I would never be in a situation comparable to the one initia got himself into that's me however you know it still is amazing there are some parallels there are things where I have to stop and reflect on it the tiny amount of Fame I have on the Internet is still enough to really result in a lot of women sending me love letters trying to start relationships with me sometimes sending me nude emails of themselves sometimes sending me highly intellectual and yet seductive emails talking about their background and so on any level of Fame on the internet leads to these this potential for these kinds of bizarre relationships and when those women are seeking me out very often I can see I can see what their reasons are there are women who get in touch with me and they've always wanted to find a certain kind of intellectual man and that's exactly the kind of man who's been absent from their own life there are women who always picture themselves getting with a certain kind of politically engaged intellectual but the reality is every guy they dated just sits on the couch watching ice hockey or watching American football or smoking marijuana and playing video games they're incredibly disappointed with the men they've actually known even though they may be good guys in other ways and they see in me something they were looking for all along obviously there's the vegan thing there all these other all these other you know factors involved and you know I mean the human heart is a dangerous thing toy with I've seen situations where that conversation only progresses to the point where I'm saying the woman okay you're interested in me and you've convinced me I'm interested in you nothing else happens nothing happens beyond you know the conversation getting to that point where you know you're expressing mutual interest and what that means if we're keeping it all the way real and most people would not would not keep it quite this real that means we admit that we're not in love but we'd like to be we'd like to try to fall in love if circumstances permitted it and you know just getting to that point just getting that point with someone who knows you over the internet it is amazing what devastating consequences that can have in that woman's life how everything can change at her end of the wire at her end of the email at her end of the Skype car recession the tremendous knock-on effects in her life that it could have when for her you've gone from being someone she's seen on YouTube in my case a lot of these women they've seen more than 100 of my videos they may have read my articles they feel that they know me and a lot of the time they're right a lot of time they really do know me they know me much better than people who know me in real life because Who I am on YouTube and who I'm ass is it really does reflect Who I am so some people some people don't know me but some people really do this way you know and all you can say all I can say is Wow understand that you're upset you're upset for a good reason Shh my new year's resolution you know was gonna be to bring more of my personal life on camera I don't know what I was just thinking you know it's kind of lame how my YouTube reality is separated from personal life I was thinking really positively about that and then just by having stance I saw this disaster going down in initia n--'s personal life and i turned a corner I thought no my New Year's resolution is don't turn into an issue don't become as you know I don't even want to become five percent of what Ana C&S become and a Nisshin you know this is the comment I sent to him I think he did see it it's not worth explaining why because on that video he was vetting all the comments I said to him this is one of those situations in which somebody explains and explains but only ends up making things worse and worse stop explaining Big O just sympathize with the other side and say that you're sore you've heard others the explanations only make it worse and you know what now in this situation a Nisshin is very far from blameless and he has taken some of the blame he's accepted some of the blame but I mean I've been alluding to there are situations where I'm genuinely blameless I'm not anything but all I can say to the person on the other side of the wire is you know I'm sorry that you've end up hurt I'm sorry you've ended up upset sorry the sadness you know devastating effect on you if I were in your situation this is how I would feel I would be devastated or I would feel you know not just sorrow but rage you know talk about how I would feel throws in that other person's situation there are circumstances where I can't you know take on the plane but I didn't do nothing wrong or I didn't do nothing at all [Music] just sympathize the other side show that you sympathize to the side say that you're sorry that you've hurt the other person or sorry that they've ended up getting hurt the explanations only make things worse