Ashley Elisa: it's shallow and it's deep at the same damn time.
15 March 2019 [link youtube]
Ashley Elisa asks… "Why Do Women Have Superficial Standards?"
Link to the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gby7dK29kbI
Link to her channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/ashkid888/videos
Link to my Patreon, where people pay $1 per month to support the creation of new content on the channel: https://www.patreon.com/a_bas_le_ciel
Youtube Automatic Transcription
and oh you're only judging someone based
on looks and you're only judging someone based on text messages saying that people are not shallow before the Internet is like saying that people were not naked before the Internet you know you see people naked because the Internet you see people being shallow because the Internet but yeah before the Internet people worship hello to all my 10 out of 10 followers today I wanted to talk about why women have such high standards nowadays so for girls having high standards I just questioned why you have those standards and if they're really genuine for who you are and what you're looking for first time you met my ex-wife Melissa and best girls off camera you might not have picked up on this but the first time you met my ex-wife and the first time she met you she was looking you like you're not his type she was totally sizing you up and like you know obviously I can read her I was together I was dealing with my wife for like six years so I can I can interpret like the expression her face and you know she's looking at you and you know she was thinking his type is you know the kind of girls in the rap videos this type is like Hispanic mixed african-american very curvy you're you're not his type what's he doing with you yeah yeah she was she was really sizing you up that way um you know when I arrived in Kunming couldn't Ming China alone what was that in 36 something like that 36 37 there are poets it was real funny because some of the Chinese women knew what was up and they had this real pragmatic attitude was like yup a whole lot of women here gonna want you I remember I there's one teacher who just laughed you just laughed at the idea that any Chinese woman look funny and in in conveying yeah and I mean this is kind of what this video is all like there are people who see the world in terms of abstract ideas and that can be okay when you're talking about architecture when you're talking about composing music on a blank sheet of paper but the thing is especially with human sexuality but with many many things in life it's not about what you would want in abstract in theory and in principle it's about whether or not you would want him the particular man the irreducible palpable visceral reality of who this guy is and you might want him despite all the things you'd say you'd want in theory or as and the same for the man in relation to the woman like maybe my ex-wife is right like you're not my type or you're not the type I was interested in whatever 10-15 years ago or something or wasn't I was brainwashed by rap music videos growing up whatever was you know but you know what ultimately you don't date a type you don't pursue a type if you don't meet and talk to you and fall in love with the type you fall in love with a unique individual that's a very very different thing and a lot of people in a weird sense they're not prepared for that you know I don't think it's their parents that put them up to maybe maybe in some cases in some cases the mom sits down the girl and gets them to talk but like so for that that Chinese teacher in Kunming she's thinking who wants a man who's 36 years old and has a kid from a former marriage is de Bourgh who wants that who wants that no no no no no no nobody wants a theory people want him that we want this guy you want this you don't want an idea of a man it's a particular man then you find out what comes with it okay so here's here's the clip I'm responding to inexplicably inexplicably popular youtuber and you're gonna see whether she's doing it intentionally or passively consciously self-consciously she's really kind of catering to the fantasy she's catering to a lot of things that people in the audience why I think online dating is really exacerbating people's standards make them higher than they think they are and people should really just examine where those standards came from whether it's from outside or if it's from an inside influence and if people go into tinder with a wholesome mindset I'm sure it can work out but I think it's just exacerbating the shallowness and our culture and I know this is a pretty well talked about topic and because we live in a more gender equal society women aren't really looking for their provider anymore they're more so which is looking for someone there either compatible with or who looks really hot and this is kind of problematic nowadays because especially with the influx of online dating and tinder everyone is so obsessed with how someone looks someone's height someone's superficial where they went to college or what their job is just to figure out whether or not they'll be compatible and it's not really wholesome anymore I love that that wishful thinking element it's like make America great again there's this question it shows that it's not wholesome anymore when people got when people got blackout drunk in the 1930s it was wholesome right when people used to snort cocaine in the 1930s it was wholesome when your grandparents did cocaine it was wholesome cocaine but these days it's low and dirty cocaine oh it's the same cocaine my dude it's the same clap it's the same you know it ain't the same age AIDS is new I admit you know what I mean dude it's it's the same pregnancy you know blaming the internet for people being shallow if it's shallow it's you like that I think that's the other challenge so I mean look I stayed in a different way this idea that desire is gonna be something wholesome and profound and that's not something shallow I mean you know is that even how you choose your roommate when there's no one there's no sexuality of us that you choose they choose your friends if you completely heterosexual same-gender or friends is it is it really that deep or what man when you look back at the people who became your friends and and how and why you know just from from our experience I remember when we were first getting together my brother told me that relationships are based off of a mutual understanding mutual respect and love for each other and that was desired for you that like was yeah leading needs so you see I think okay right right it's share the same time like look whatever any period of time 1950s 1970s if you met someone at a bar over a glass of beer did you know more or less about them than today you know by looking them up on love let's just say YouTube let's stick to YouTube how much do you know about me about watching a bunch of my videos on YouTube I think you knew a lot of really deep stuff about me from YouTube I had a lot of deep stuff in my channel but you know other people you know okay let's say in theory what if I dated someone who was in the Game of Thrones because I saw their channel and they're talking about politics and Game of Thrones and you know history and what they liked about books maybe not that deep but still we'd be starting on the first date on a whole different level from the good old days when things were wholesome when people work shallow because people didn't have the Internet's and smartphones look saying the people know saying that people were not shallow before the Internet is like saying that people were not naked before the Internet you know you see people naked because the Internet you see people being shallow because the Internet but yet before the internet people worship and anyone who's under six feet is like a man lit and they'll never get some girlfriend and I think that's pretty toxic especially coming from girls who are like five two or five four or even five five and stuff because why do you need a six-foot boyfriend I can understand if you want a boyfriend who's taller than you maybe and suppose it can make sense if maybe you're 5 8 or 5 9 and you want a boyfriend who's taller than you then 6 foot like make sense and talk to a lot of people I know who are like super short like 5 to whatever and they're like no I won't date anyone under 6 feet and that's just extremely superficial to me there's that pretty cringe where they say and that people have where it's like the three sixes six foot six figure salary six inch you know so I heard that and I was like that's really like a thing that people are going off of in order to date someone it's just so superficial and for girls specifically it has to do so to me there's there's something here about the nature of desire desire is not reasonable but look when you fall in love when you fall in love with a particular person you know you fall in love with them despite and not because of all these things you know but that this is the other thing if you're stating as a general principle you ask a woman in theory how tall a guy would you like to date she's probably not gonna say 5 foot 2 you talked to her 10 years later she fell in love with a guy whose father is usually well you know when I first met Steve I thought he was too short but we had this this in this in common you know whatever the story is you know you don't know I mean god when I was in Scotland it was really encouraged in the culture there it was a totally obsessed with big boobs culture so really encouraged that you know it varies and is really Scotland is different from Japan and you know really but they even the contour in Scotland in Canada you versus a cultural Condors that how many of those guys went on and fell in love with you know flat-chested women you know just say and whatever I mean you'd have to know them pretty well in another story and maybe they feel that they changed and maybe not they say oh well but then I met her in this we had in common or this is what happen you know whatever the story is you know you don't fall in love with an idea you know so I mean it's interesting because they're kind of two different big continuities in Western cultural history going on here one this why I didn't watch you talk about anything before you died by now this is where I make sense one is the idea that you don't fall in love with the person fall in love with their soul that is the [ __ ] and he's seen as on that is whoa it's not that you have big breasts it's your soul and she goes right preach preach no preach so he takes it that far so you were kind of alluding to that that he pretends it's not even whether you have a penis or a vagina that's like a really trivial thing because he's such a profound guy right right which starts which starts in the basis of one photograph on Twitter and he says hit me up I'll buy you airplane tickets etcetera you know what I mean so no no no I'm it's a complete complete bull yeah you got you know it's [ __ ] x-ray photograph on Twitter showing their soul no but you know he thinks that's one big continuity and then the other is the idea that the you know what human beings ought to do is live and die in service to an abstract ideal and you see that so strongly with in the history of communism you know mmm and again I'm using communism as the example because you know it doesn't have the overtly religious character of Christianity Islam or whatever so for dating nowadays I probably suggest people to get off tinder and stop using that because it's really shallow and it creates this shallow culture where you make a tinder and then you look at all of your options and you're like oh this guy which is that cool college this guy works here this guy is a 10 out of 10 you know like the shallow is like the vessel for the profound you're not gonna have a penile relationship with someone without the shallow relationship there as the thing is the container for that Russian I mean it's just really weird to me this this contempt for for what she calls shallow you know you're saying there are women out there who should who should want in abstract and in theory someone who's poor and short and and as a small penis you know look what that's why this video has a million views this is appealing to yes yes I know right when they're out dating right double D breasts right you know blonde hair and blue eyes like you know like of course a lot of men start out dating thinking of an ideal and then they meet someone right and they surprise themselves that they turned out to fall in love with yeah yeah I know what what the only thing I want I don't know if he's doing it self-conscious I don't she's aware that she's doing it and and the lack of any contrast to the male attitude is very peculiar it's just I mean it's blaming women for their shallowness in not being willing to date unattractive which is is that the problem right that's right yeah right right it's really right oh so it's so it's someone's fault other than mine you know like the tragedy in the triumph of human sexuality is that the profound stuff can never be a substitute for the shallow stuff right now it's also true the shallow stuff can't be a substitute for the profound stuff if you're with someone if you're in relationship with someone you know who you really respect and admire intellectually and you feel sexual revolted by them you should be roommates you should be colleagues you should not be lovers you should not get married don't raise kids together that's also a tragic situation but believe it or not Melissa does not have this you know I'm you know like I know and that's the thing I mean you know I don't think you started off you know so I have had people write to me specifically writing to me saying they've always been attracted to older Jewish male intellectual well it's like no like really there are women they're like oh that was always their type and whatever and they that's what they see in me and by me know that the point is not what he you decide story there's there's a there's a guy you were talking to me about and you you found him totally revolting and you assumed he was way older than me and stuff he was just not attract to you at all then you find out he and I are actually both the same age so I was like I was joking with you like yeah well I could look as bad as him if you know you know but no it's you know that's the point you don't you don't fall in love with an idea you don't fall in love with a you know a scheduled program but sorry but nevertheless it's totally wrong to in this way despise what shallow you know as as if there's some kind of available substitute the program and most people what do they have in their lives that's profound when you came to me Melissa you wanted to have more of a profound life you wanted a more of a meaningful life what you know what are you gonna say most people's lives are desperate and meaningless and anxious you know we're gonna go you try to find somebody to love try to find something meaningful you know yeah any reasonable person is going to listen to this and think yeah okay but yeah but but but but but flip flip the coin this way let's see you have this list six-figure salary six foot tall whatever you with women you never find I don't think there's penises tell it's too late men no a woman's breast size Mendel a lot more about a woman's body before they commit right before even the first day with women you know okay okay so let's say woman has a list whatever the list is list requirements she got she gets guess to this guy he checks all the boxes then they get in bed together they have sex and it's terrible right but this is this is my point what are you gonna say the shallow you know shallow things matter sexual attraction matters you know silt look most of my viewers already horrified they know that we have really great sexual chemistry really great sex life even compared to other YouTube channels that offer you advice on your sex like that claim they did another interesting who who is it a positioning advice we had we had a day recently this is this is about the mind over matter or element right we had sex once when you were afraid that you had lost the card for the laundry machine so this is like a it's like a special key card that turns on and turns off the laundry machine and the apartment building we used to be you know beep okay and she would stress that about it right and that was like the blob well he was still pretty great sex the first five to ten minutes we're like you know remarkably white yeah you know in a sense you didn't feel attracted to me just cuz you were thinking about this thing with the wonder you were stressed about that's it were you but it was hilarious we both jokes about afterwards like wow that's a contrast to like every other time we've had sex even that day you know but that month or whatever like wow okay you don't think you know you let me think about it you with someone whether you're not attracted them for intellectual reasons psychological reasons more profound philosophical reasons are shallow reasons so you know I mean you're kidding yourself that way too you can fall in love with an ideal that you can that you can fall in love with a checklist and you can't you fall in love with the particular man because of everything that's right with him and despite everything that's wrong with them first in the person individual
on looks and you're only judging someone based on text messages saying that people are not shallow before the Internet is like saying that people were not naked before the Internet you know you see people naked because the Internet you see people being shallow because the Internet but yeah before the Internet people worship hello to all my 10 out of 10 followers today I wanted to talk about why women have such high standards nowadays so for girls having high standards I just questioned why you have those standards and if they're really genuine for who you are and what you're looking for first time you met my ex-wife Melissa and best girls off camera you might not have picked up on this but the first time you met my ex-wife and the first time she met you she was looking you like you're not his type she was totally sizing you up and like you know obviously I can read her I was together I was dealing with my wife for like six years so I can I can interpret like the expression her face and you know she's looking at you and you know she was thinking his type is you know the kind of girls in the rap videos this type is like Hispanic mixed african-american very curvy you're you're not his type what's he doing with you yeah yeah she was she was really sizing you up that way um you know when I arrived in Kunming couldn't Ming China alone what was that in 36 something like that 36 37 there are poets it was real funny because some of the Chinese women knew what was up and they had this real pragmatic attitude was like yup a whole lot of women here gonna want you I remember I there's one teacher who just laughed you just laughed at the idea that any Chinese woman look funny and in in conveying yeah and I mean this is kind of what this video is all like there are people who see the world in terms of abstract ideas and that can be okay when you're talking about architecture when you're talking about composing music on a blank sheet of paper but the thing is especially with human sexuality but with many many things in life it's not about what you would want in abstract in theory and in principle it's about whether or not you would want him the particular man the irreducible palpable visceral reality of who this guy is and you might want him despite all the things you'd say you'd want in theory or as and the same for the man in relation to the woman like maybe my ex-wife is right like you're not my type or you're not the type I was interested in whatever 10-15 years ago or something or wasn't I was brainwashed by rap music videos growing up whatever was you know but you know what ultimately you don't date a type you don't pursue a type if you don't meet and talk to you and fall in love with the type you fall in love with a unique individual that's a very very different thing and a lot of people in a weird sense they're not prepared for that you know I don't think it's their parents that put them up to maybe maybe in some cases in some cases the mom sits down the girl and gets them to talk but like so for that that Chinese teacher in Kunming she's thinking who wants a man who's 36 years old and has a kid from a former marriage is de Bourgh who wants that who wants that no no no no no no nobody wants a theory people want him that we want this guy you want this you don't want an idea of a man it's a particular man then you find out what comes with it okay so here's here's the clip I'm responding to inexplicably inexplicably popular youtuber and you're gonna see whether she's doing it intentionally or passively consciously self-consciously she's really kind of catering to the fantasy she's catering to a lot of things that people in the audience why I think online dating is really exacerbating people's standards make them higher than they think they are and people should really just examine where those standards came from whether it's from outside or if it's from an inside influence and if people go into tinder with a wholesome mindset I'm sure it can work out but I think it's just exacerbating the shallowness and our culture and I know this is a pretty well talked about topic and because we live in a more gender equal society women aren't really looking for their provider anymore they're more so which is looking for someone there either compatible with or who looks really hot and this is kind of problematic nowadays because especially with the influx of online dating and tinder everyone is so obsessed with how someone looks someone's height someone's superficial where they went to college or what their job is just to figure out whether or not they'll be compatible and it's not really wholesome anymore I love that that wishful thinking element it's like make America great again there's this question it shows that it's not wholesome anymore when people got when people got blackout drunk in the 1930s it was wholesome right when people used to snort cocaine in the 1930s it was wholesome when your grandparents did cocaine it was wholesome cocaine but these days it's low and dirty cocaine oh it's the same cocaine my dude it's the same clap it's the same you know it ain't the same age AIDS is new I admit you know what I mean dude it's it's the same pregnancy you know blaming the internet for people being shallow if it's shallow it's you like that I think that's the other challenge so I mean look I stayed in a different way this idea that desire is gonna be something wholesome and profound and that's not something shallow I mean you know is that even how you choose your roommate when there's no one there's no sexuality of us that you choose they choose your friends if you completely heterosexual same-gender or friends is it is it really that deep or what man when you look back at the people who became your friends and and how and why you know just from from our experience I remember when we were first getting together my brother told me that relationships are based off of a mutual understanding mutual respect and love for each other and that was desired for you that like was yeah leading needs so you see I think okay right right it's share the same time like look whatever any period of time 1950s 1970s if you met someone at a bar over a glass of beer did you know more or less about them than today you know by looking them up on love let's just say YouTube let's stick to YouTube how much do you know about me about watching a bunch of my videos on YouTube I think you knew a lot of really deep stuff about me from YouTube I had a lot of deep stuff in my channel but you know other people you know okay let's say in theory what if I dated someone who was in the Game of Thrones because I saw their channel and they're talking about politics and Game of Thrones and you know history and what they liked about books maybe not that deep but still we'd be starting on the first date on a whole different level from the good old days when things were wholesome when people work shallow because people didn't have the Internet's and smartphones look saying the people know saying that people were not shallow before the Internet is like saying that people were not naked before the Internet you know you see people naked because the Internet you see people being shallow because the Internet but yet before the internet people worship and anyone who's under six feet is like a man lit and they'll never get some girlfriend and I think that's pretty toxic especially coming from girls who are like five two or five four or even five five and stuff because why do you need a six-foot boyfriend I can understand if you want a boyfriend who's taller than you maybe and suppose it can make sense if maybe you're 5 8 or 5 9 and you want a boyfriend who's taller than you then 6 foot like make sense and talk to a lot of people I know who are like super short like 5 to whatever and they're like no I won't date anyone under 6 feet and that's just extremely superficial to me there's that pretty cringe where they say and that people have where it's like the three sixes six foot six figure salary six inch you know so I heard that and I was like that's really like a thing that people are going off of in order to date someone it's just so superficial and for girls specifically it has to do so to me there's there's something here about the nature of desire desire is not reasonable but look when you fall in love when you fall in love with a particular person you know you fall in love with them despite and not because of all these things you know but that this is the other thing if you're stating as a general principle you ask a woman in theory how tall a guy would you like to date she's probably not gonna say 5 foot 2 you talked to her 10 years later she fell in love with a guy whose father is usually well you know when I first met Steve I thought he was too short but we had this this in this in common you know whatever the story is you know you don't know I mean god when I was in Scotland it was really encouraged in the culture there it was a totally obsessed with big boobs culture so really encouraged that you know it varies and is really Scotland is different from Japan and you know really but they even the contour in Scotland in Canada you versus a cultural Condors that how many of those guys went on and fell in love with you know flat-chested women you know just say and whatever I mean you'd have to know them pretty well in another story and maybe they feel that they changed and maybe not they say oh well but then I met her in this we had in common or this is what happen you know whatever the story is you know you don't fall in love with an idea you know so I mean it's interesting because they're kind of two different big continuities in Western cultural history going on here one this why I didn't watch you talk about anything before you died by now this is where I make sense one is the idea that you don't fall in love with the person fall in love with their soul that is the [ __ ] and he's seen as on that is whoa it's not that you have big breasts it's your soul and she goes right preach preach no preach so he takes it that far so you were kind of alluding to that that he pretends it's not even whether you have a penis or a vagina that's like a really trivial thing because he's such a profound guy right right which starts which starts in the basis of one photograph on Twitter and he says hit me up I'll buy you airplane tickets etcetera you know what I mean so no no no I'm it's a complete complete bull yeah you got you know it's [ __ ] x-ray photograph on Twitter showing their soul no but you know he thinks that's one big continuity and then the other is the idea that the you know what human beings ought to do is live and die in service to an abstract ideal and you see that so strongly with in the history of communism you know mmm and again I'm using communism as the example because you know it doesn't have the overtly religious character of Christianity Islam or whatever so for dating nowadays I probably suggest people to get off tinder and stop using that because it's really shallow and it creates this shallow culture where you make a tinder and then you look at all of your options and you're like oh this guy which is that cool college this guy works here this guy is a 10 out of 10 you know like the shallow is like the vessel for the profound you're not gonna have a penile relationship with someone without the shallow relationship there as the thing is the container for that Russian I mean it's just really weird to me this this contempt for for what she calls shallow you know you're saying there are women out there who should who should want in abstract and in theory someone who's poor and short and and as a small penis you know look what that's why this video has a million views this is appealing to yes yes I know right when they're out dating right double D breasts right you know blonde hair and blue eyes like you know like of course a lot of men start out dating thinking of an ideal and then they meet someone right and they surprise themselves that they turned out to fall in love with yeah yeah I know what what the only thing I want I don't know if he's doing it self-conscious I don't she's aware that she's doing it and and the lack of any contrast to the male attitude is very peculiar it's just I mean it's blaming women for their shallowness in not being willing to date unattractive which is is that the problem right that's right yeah right right it's really right oh so it's so it's someone's fault other than mine you know like the tragedy in the triumph of human sexuality is that the profound stuff can never be a substitute for the shallow stuff right now it's also true the shallow stuff can't be a substitute for the profound stuff if you're with someone if you're in relationship with someone you know who you really respect and admire intellectually and you feel sexual revolted by them you should be roommates you should be colleagues you should not be lovers you should not get married don't raise kids together that's also a tragic situation but believe it or not Melissa does not have this you know I'm you know like I know and that's the thing I mean you know I don't think you started off you know so I have had people write to me specifically writing to me saying they've always been attracted to older Jewish male intellectual well it's like no like really there are women they're like oh that was always their type and whatever and they that's what they see in me and by me know that the point is not what he you decide story there's there's a there's a guy you were talking to me about and you you found him totally revolting and you assumed he was way older than me and stuff he was just not attract to you at all then you find out he and I are actually both the same age so I was like I was joking with you like yeah well I could look as bad as him if you know you know but no it's you know that's the point you don't you don't fall in love with an idea you don't fall in love with a you know a scheduled program but sorry but nevertheless it's totally wrong to in this way despise what shallow you know as as if there's some kind of available substitute the program and most people what do they have in their lives that's profound when you came to me Melissa you wanted to have more of a profound life you wanted a more of a meaningful life what you know what are you gonna say most people's lives are desperate and meaningless and anxious you know we're gonna go you try to find somebody to love try to find something meaningful you know yeah any reasonable person is going to listen to this and think yeah okay but yeah but but but but but flip flip the coin this way let's see you have this list six-figure salary six foot tall whatever you with women you never find I don't think there's penises tell it's too late men no a woman's breast size Mendel a lot more about a woman's body before they commit right before even the first day with women you know okay okay so let's say woman has a list whatever the list is list requirements she got she gets guess to this guy he checks all the boxes then they get in bed together they have sex and it's terrible right but this is this is my point what are you gonna say the shallow you know shallow things matter sexual attraction matters you know silt look most of my viewers already horrified they know that we have really great sexual chemistry really great sex life even compared to other YouTube channels that offer you advice on your sex like that claim they did another interesting who who is it a positioning advice we had we had a day recently this is this is about the mind over matter or element right we had sex once when you were afraid that you had lost the card for the laundry machine so this is like a it's like a special key card that turns on and turns off the laundry machine and the apartment building we used to be you know beep okay and she would stress that about it right and that was like the blob well he was still pretty great sex the first five to ten minutes we're like you know remarkably white yeah you know in a sense you didn't feel attracted to me just cuz you were thinking about this thing with the wonder you were stressed about that's it were you but it was hilarious we both jokes about afterwards like wow that's a contrast to like every other time we've had sex even that day you know but that month or whatever like wow okay you don't think you know you let me think about it you with someone whether you're not attracted them for intellectual reasons psychological reasons more profound philosophical reasons are shallow reasons so you know I mean you're kidding yourself that way too you can fall in love with an ideal that you can that you can fall in love with a checklist and you can't you fall in love with the particular man because of everything that's right with him and despite everything that's wrong with them first in the person individual