Hitomi Mochizuki Talks to Trees.

it seems to me this spinning arrow is
pointing you down your path but grandmother willow what is my path if pocahontas is your favorite disney princess that's great like i'm not here to try to tell you like you can't have had good childhood associations with this movie or that you're trash for liking it she represents a smart and empowered woman with agency and control of her own life story and how she's you know seen um unfortunately that was not the case for the real life historical figure and there's a lot of reasons why this depiction is harmful and a little bit what is my path how am i ever going to find it your mother asked me the very same question she did what did you tell her i feel really call just to remind you that you can always speak to god or the cosmos or your angels you can always call upon the beings of light for assistance we have a representative in congress who they say was here a long time ago they call her pocahontas but you know what i like you because you are special even if you don't want to put a name to it just speaking to the trees or to the sky and asking for help asking for clarity and assistance all around you are spirits child they live in the earth the water the sky if you listen they will guide you when you open up the space to receive help or even talk to a tree about your problems opening yourself up to hope and for a different outcome or to view the situation differently and that is really powerful i hear the wind yes what is it telling you these illusions that i tell myself and like i said when i meditate all these things seem to just fade away i just seem to transcend them i'm just like ugh this oneness i am a high vibrational being you are a high vibrational being i am so connected to the trees and this earth we are all made of universal matter she seems to have made it her job who pocahontas pocahontas no she's look look she is she is very offensive oh i'm sorry about that the oneness i feel the connection the love and the love pretty much makes all the fear fade away but then when i'm not in that meditation state that has been pretty addicting i began to take on other energy and i wanted to just kind of write down some of the things that i feel the president of the united states cannot even make it through a ceremony honoring these heroes without having to throw out a racial slur i am unworthy to receive the beautiful beings in my presence um i am only pretty when i'm skinny another thought that i have that comes up a lot is that i will fall madly in love with someone and it'll be great and i will have children with them and then they won't want me because i will be bigger i'll have stretch marks i'll have more cellulite i will have saggy boobs i have this fear that someone won't fully accept me and that they'll leave me after i have their children listen to me my men are planning to attack your people you've got to warn them what am i doing i shouldn't be seeing him again i mean i want to see him again but still something inside is telling me it's the right thing perhaps it's your dream my dream do you think he's the one the spinning arrow was pointing to this is a really big fear and a lot of my fears on a lot of these things that come up are surrounding my fear of the masculine my greatest fear is that someone would watch this video and recognize ways that they have contributed to racist systems and here i am a racist and bad person instead of here are the things that i can change so that i'm perceived as the person i actually am who is who is a kind and good person i am below man i am not as smart i am less worthy to speak and share my voice i am not enough my sexual desires are shameful i resent my resentment i really get angry at the fact that i'm angry at men i really get angry at the fact that this conditioning keeps coming up because i get so frustrated at the fact that i have trouble speaking in front of men and it just makes me angry it makes me angry at every man who did me wrong remember your dream i was wrong grandmother willow i followed the wrong path i feel so lost as innocuous as you may think this film is let me remind you the original story was written by john smith and was basically a porno inspired by an 11 year old so like like a gross creepy old man wrote a pornographic book about a child to get a quick buck because he couldn't get money any other way because he was kind of just useless and bad at everything and disney looked at that and was like yep this child victim that's our next princess but now comes the part where i'm going to rewrite all these things with positive thoughts i'm equal to men in every way and equal i'm not greater than i am equal and they're equal to me no one is better than anyone else we all have masculine and feminine energy flowing through us i am equal to men in every way yeah that actually feels really good to say i am equal to men in every way and the lie is starting to fade away already i am so worthy to receive the love and appreciation people wish to share with me i am so worthy to breathe in the beautiful people in my life i am beautiful in every state of my body i am equal to men in every way i will find a life partner who loves and sees me as more than just a body i will find a life partner who is endlessly fascinated with my spirit as i am theirs my voice and opinions are equally valid to those of a man i accept whatever happens in the present moment i am enough i accept my sexual desires and deserve to feel pleasure i accept my fears i accept my anger i accept my happiness i accept everything that i feel that's some powerful [ __ ] man [Music] girl black hair you're the most beautiful thing i've ever seen and i need to see you again so [Music] sweet [Music] so [Music] the current president miguel diaz-canel called on all revolutionaries and communists to stage counter protests he visited a small town southwest of havana where he lashed out of what he said was u.s [Music] interference [Music] now there is this question what is children's entertainment and why did disney think that the story of pocahontas should be made into a children's film some people say that it's because pocahontas represented a strong intelligent and independent woman and in a sense this is kind of the case however she relies on this guidance from grandmother willow who in actuality i mean we live in a world where no you can't talk to trees trees won't give you advice she was just talking to herself and coming to these conclusions that she already felt herself reaffirming what she already believed there's a sense in which it's actually really good to get people's advice and i wanted to juxtapose the story of hitomi with the story of pocahontas hatomi is somebody who likes to spend a lot of time in nature and she talks to nature she really feels that she has a connection to the earth and this is part of her spirituality part of her meditation ultimately part of her religion she has taken bits and pieces from hindu and buddhist traditions and incorporated them into a kind of animist meditation that she talks about on her youtube channel and has influenced i think quite a few young women i don't know in her life if she has people who are really honest with her about some of the things that are not true hitomi talks a lot about the trauma that she has experienced in the past due to her experiences with men in order to heal in order to cope with some of these traumatic experiences that she had in the past with men she talks about how she meditates and how this meditation practice has been so useful for her how she's had this spiritual journey and there's something to be said about the fact that if you go through a spiritual journey and you aren't getting feedback from people that might change your mind that might make you question things you might be leading yourself down a path of delusion after delusion after delusion until you're just living in this kind of fantasy world hitomi is obviously a beautiful woman she's worked as a model and part of her career has just been based on her looks has been based on her appearance people who watch her youtube videos get to see how this has impacted her spiritually mentally emotionally that she tends to put all of her worth on her body and she's always struggling against this to find out what her meaning is and to find people who value her for something other than her looks however when you do look this way and when you are a model you are prone to being surrounded by people who are only interested in you because of how you look i think she's surrounded herself with people who also believe the same kind of meditation the same kind of practices that she engages in and they don't question or they don't point out to her how these things are strange another practice that hitomi talks about is journaling i think it's the same issue as talking to the sky or talking to the trees or being out in nature just swimming in a river you're not getting input from somebody you're not getting constructive criticism you're not getting any feedback that would allow you to make progress and connect with reality she talks about this in her video that she doesn't feel that she can talk around men she feels that she's intellectually inferior to men in her rewriting of that in her journal she says i'm equal to men in every way and equal i'm not greater than i am equal i am equal to men in every way yeah that actually feels really good to say i am equal to men in every way i think if hitomi herself saw the same exact characteristics the same exact behavior in a man she would find it really off-putting and strange hitomi discusses openly a lot of issues surrounding sexuality and shame and overcoming that and embracing pleasure through sexuality she talks about womb healing and i really think if she heard any man talking about testicle healing that she would be a little bit weirded out a lot of the things that she does i wonder if she ever just thinks what if a man was doing this and how she was discussing how she has to overcome this resentment towards men i wonder how she would feel if she heard a man saying exactly this kind of thing about his feelings toward women if a man uploaded a youtube video talking about how he resents women and how he's going through the spiritual process of talking to trees in order to recover from this and to unlearn this kind of resentment toward women how would she feel toward that man i think the assumption is that men should just love and adore women it's not really okay and it's seen as rather loathsome to see a man talk about how he resents women it's immediately labeled as misogynist but there isn't the same kind of criticism directed towards women when they say i hate men men are trash you know this is common this is very very common in american culture at least the same kind of things that hitomi talks openly about in her videos such as suicidal ideation self-harming taking drugs drinking past sexual experiences that she's unhappy with traumatic sexual experiences i give her credit for coming out and really discussing these matters openly in sharing it with the whole world that's part of her popularity but if a man talked about these same issues there really would not be as much sympathy and in this way i really don't think what hitomi says is true that she believes that men and women are equal because if she saw a man doing exactly what she does i think this would make her really uncomfortable whereas she's doing these provocative things on camera that she i don't think consumes that kind of content from men tony said that she makes videos that she wishes she could have seen when she was younger and she definitely focuses a lot on sexuality on not feeling ashamed of having sexual urges and to feel that you are worthy of pleasure there is definitely pushback against this just from puritanical type of people who say like you know i can't believe you're discussing these things on the internet and that's not my perspective i actually think that this is a good thing about the internet that people can talk about their sexual experiences but instead what bothers me is that this is her whole identity and i think this is part of why she has struggled so much with feeling miserable and feeling worthless and feeling like she's inferior to men because men care just as much about sex it's just most men would find it rather embarrassing and undignified to make it their entire identity she talks about how everybody has femininity and everybody has masculinity but i really think she's just uncomfortable with the masculine element of somebody asking her hey don't you know anything about anything it's a lot gentler often when you are just by yourself and you're surrounding yourself with nature and you're just writing in your journal you don't have somebody who's judging you except for yourself and men also have this problem you know she talks about some of the things that she reads and i think she gets into this pattern where she's reading things that are only telling her what she wants to hear if you read something you might not even read what the author is intending you'll just read what you want to get from the book that you're reading although she does talk a lot about her real life i don't get any sense of what her political beliefs are what she feels about the country that she was born into is she proud to be an american does she want to live in america she grew up in new york city which is a famous place many many people want to move to new york city i don't really think i've heard her perspective on anything about the politics of new york city and this could relate to some of the issues that she's discussed on her channel but it really is only about her spiritual journey and for a lot of people they just see it as fluff because it is fluff it is shallow these matters of political reality there's matters that she's not addressing at all you know i know she's still young and she can still change and maybe she will care more about political reality maybe she will care more about reading books of substance but i think it's more likely that she'll continue down this path of meditation this path of living in nature and for as long as she can she says she's making videos that she would have appreciated seeing when she was younger and i guess i can say i feel the same way when i was younger i wish that somebody would have told me to take myself seriously not only to understand myself yes there is a certain amount of self-reflection self-examination that's really important and really crucial but also to question yourself and your beliefs part of that is also reading something that is going to challenge you independent reading and research on your own reading books but also questioning the books that you're reading questioning the author their intent and what they're actually saying not just be an unquestioning reader when you're taking in information what i would have liked to hear when i was younger is watch out for wishful thinking and in this era when you can find anything on the internet you can find anybody who's agreeing with you it's really hard to know when you're surrounding yourself with people who aren't just telling you what you want to hear one important clue if somebody never challenges you if they are only flattering to you that's probably a sign that they are not going to help you change as a person i think right now in western society there is a tendency to think of friendship in this way that friendship is only between people who are just going to flatter you and not criticize you and not push you on certain issues is friendship just about flattery is it just about finding people who will build you up and tell you what a great person you are or is there a certain element to friendship of challenging somebody and offering them constructive criticism not being harsh or mean for no good reason no but being helpful to somebody sometimes you really do need to tell them the reality sometimes you really do need to tell them the truth a common phrase that i've heard in meditation and yoga is this thought isn't serving me right like the whole world is just structured in a way that people are supposed to serve you everybody is your servant your thoughts are your servant uh this is kind of how hitomi sees her life i think like she's only connecting and only holding on to things that will serve her i can't say it's totally bad to try to get rid of thoughts that don't help you thoughts that are just hurtful to yourself you know i experience it too where i just feel very negatively about myself and i'm extremely hard on myself sometimes i feel ashamed about things that i shouldn't feel ashamed about but in the past i have felt ashamed about things that i should have felt ashamed about when you experience inhibition in your life when you feel like you shouldn't do something that might also be telling you something if your whole life is about overcoming this shame overcoming this embarrassment maybe you kind of lose that direction maybe you lose that path or you just become so committed to living a life that is actually really embarrassing when you surround yourself with people who are just saying yes and flattering you when you just talk to yourself and tell yourself what you want to hear you can't make progress you just stay the same or maybe you even get deeper and deeper into your own delusions