Vegan Gains is WRONG… the ultimate game is NO GAME.
04 January 2020 [link youtube]
Yeah, that's right, "the ultimate game is no game". Don't make me trademark that and start earning money from ebooks explaining the phrase.
Want to comment, ask questions and chat with other viewers? Join the channel's Discord server (a discussion forum, better than a youtube comment section). Click here: https://discord.gg/4PabH9
Support the creation of new content on the channel (and speak to me, directly, if you want to) via Patreon, for $1 per month: https://www.patreon.com/a_bas_le_ciel
Find me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/a_bas_le_ciel/?hl=en
Find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/eiselmazard
You may not know that I have several youtube channels, one of them is AR&IO (Active Research & Informed Opinion) found here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCP3fLeOekX2yBegj9-XwDhA/videos
Another is à-bas-le-ciel, found here: https://www.youtube.com/user/HeiJinZhengZhi/videos
And there is, in fact, a youtube channel that has my own legal name, Eisel Mazard: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuxp5G-XFGcH4lmgejZddqA
Youtube Automatic Transcription
I even remember the first night we were
driving to the countryside with another activist he asked me if I would have something with a man that is in a relationship I said no very clearly and explained my reasons then he proceeded to explain how he and his girlfriend are in an open relationship and tried to convince me how great it is to be with multiple people back to the third night when he asked if he could kiss me I said no but he kept asking to kiss me and kept on pushing I was nervous uncomfortable and trying to find a reason to escape from the situation okay I want to point something out here women aren't on/off switches they don't just instantly get turned on and especially young women I think this woman's 18 years old eighteen years old they played hard to get and she's trying to make it seem as if his behavior Oh being pushy keep at like where he keeps asking for a kiss even though she said says no oh that's abusive you know exploitative behavior no it's just part of the game a lot of women play hard to get they like being chaste and they do this type of stuff where they're like oh no I don't really want to kiss you know I'm not interested and it's just part of the game some women sometimes Richard not all women not all the time and for you as a man in that situation with your biased perspective do you think you are gonna pick up on that distinction do you think it's responsible advice to give men that if they're in this sort of situation they should disregard the woman giving negative signals and that the man should just be more assertive that the man should work with the assumption that she's just quote-unquote playing hard-to-get do you think the man should behave as if it is quote unquote just part of the game I think that's really terrible advice Richard now you said most women most women play hard-to-get and play this game in the 21st century I don't even think it's ten percent of women who follow this pattern of behavior anymore maybe I mean in the 1950s or 1960s you know the idea of a coy refusal it used to be a more common cultural trope in the Western world I guess but whether it's ten percent of women who behave this way ten percent of the time or sixty percent of women who pay it this way 60 percent of the time you gotta use sympathy as an analytical tool here Richard you've got to think about it from the woman's perspective now in this case the woman was 18 years old it makes it worse this sort of situation it only differs by degree it doesn't differ in kind when you're talking about an 18 year old woman as opposed to a 30 year old woman because really you can't have all the same issues and conflicts in romancing a 30 year old woman as an 18 year old one but yeah it's worse it's worse it's several degrees worse because she was 18 Richard can you imagine yourself at age 18 trying to refuse the advances of an older married woman in this case it's an older guy who's in an open relationship estate who's hitting on you who's pressing you for sex and this woman chooses to interpret your refusal as you just playing hard-to-get this woman chooses to interpret your refusal as coy and then she's more assertive believing that it's quote unquote just part of the game now I can't make the claim that absolutely zero percent of women you know followed this pattern of behavior that he's presenting here as a justification for this kind of male pay-for of being more assertive in disregarding refusal and I can't say he's your Oh percent of men but the best advice you can give people is to live your life as if it's zero percent of people who are coy in this way as if zero percent of people say no but mean yes as if zero percent of people are just in sincerely playing hard-to-get you should live your life according to that better and higher moral standard for a variety of reasons not just to relieve the stress and strain on the people you may be flirting with or hitting on and that's the part that's the easiest to sympathize with like you just think okay what if I were in the reverse situation what if the I were the 18 year old Miss older guy is flirting with Newsline the ultimate game is no gain the ultimate game is when you can sit down with people and play it completely straight and open and honest and it's just hey maybe you're attracted to me and maybe I'm attracted to you and maybe we're going to do something about it and maybe not and where there is no game there's no deception and there's no expectation that the other person is deceiving you and when you really play it honestly that way all right we play in an honest open way with no games then right away you get a sense of how sincerely attracted or not attracted the other person is to you how interested they are in you and in what way they're interesting like are they interest in a relationship were they just interested in when I stand and what's what's going on on on their end once I was taking the bus with my girlfriend this was in Victoria in Canada and a guy came and sat next to a girl right next to us it's not worth describing the whole scenario but they're four seats that are facing each other so we all really saw and heard what one another was saying and this guy sits down with a girl and he he's attempting to hit on her part with her and there are two university students and they obviously have at least one class together where they they know the same professor they're dealing with some of the same stuff of the class so the guy comes and he tries to hit on her and it goes very poorly and then they both kind of get up and leave though leave the bus and I said to my girlfriend Melissa Wow that's not the way I would have handled that at all you know in terms of hitting on a girl me know she would has this do and she said oh wow you know how how would you have done it how would you sit down and you know kind of present this opportunity woman so I acted out with Melissa I said oh yeah this so decide this is how I do it this is what I'd say you know and I spoke to her exactly I would speak to hypothetically you know somebody in that situation and Melissa immediately got extremely turned on and flustered she was you know laughing and she put her hand I managed to stop it you know you're really you're really getting me killed us on this buzz but I said to I said yeah but that's how you respond because you're attracted to me like you have chemistry with me you're drawn to me that's what that's showing I'm not tricking you into this I'm not talking you into this you know that's how you respond someone else wouldn't spawn that way or someone else would respond with 50% as much warmth and someone else would respond in a manner that's tepid and another person would respond actually being you know standoffish so given the way I told the story at this point you might think I said something really charming or really flirtatious or really forward to Melissa knock that out and know I was here is what I said to her you know I said sit down and say hey I saw you in class that was good presentation was cut no no it's like there's nothing here right listen to this that's it you sit down make eye contact you know yeah because the reality is like all you're doing is like a litmus test you're really just you really you're showing the person hey I'm interested in you I like you I want to talk to you I want to spend time with you and then how they respond to that is up to them the ultimate game is no game and when you play that way in a way that's honest and open and warm and also just constructive like hey I'm not gonna presume what kind of relationship we can have a lot of time I talk to people and it's like well look you know maybe you can be a friend of mine maybe we can be like intellectual colleagues maybe we can be like political colleagues but maybe you're someone I can practice languages with like I'm studying Chinese I need people to study Chinese with or something you know there's more than one possible outcome to this scenario not just like either you're the person i seduce and have children with and get married to or nothing you know or it's not not some kind of preset you know limited number of outcomes or it's it's it's open in that sense also you're open as to what this might lead to you're not prejudging it but you know you really avoid breaking people's hearts you avoid breaking your own heart to it say you don't want to charm someone or manipulate someone into liking you into love and you went to sleep with you and then they wake up the next morning and regret it and in a sense you don't want to you don't want to talk yourself into it within the next day you know you you might be the one who wakes up and regrets it part of the game I wouldn't even consider this behavior inappropriate and he certainly didn't do anything illegal he just kept asking if he could kiss you nothing illegal about that and I wouldn't even say that's bad behavior so vegan gains here takes the next step into absurdity the first part of his argument is the first part of his argument is that if a woman refuses a man should disregard that refusal and be more assertive because he should regard this as quote-unquote all part of the game completely completely secure that he is suggesting that a man should work with the assumption that a refusal from the woman is insincere that she's playing coy that she's playing hard to get and that the man's role is to be more assertive I completely disagree with that and then he texted takes the next step into absurdity by claiming that there's nothing inappropriate about this that it's not even inappropriate this is a workplace situation is an older dude I think he's about 30 with an 18 year old female and they're their co-workers their colleagues right they're soliciting donations do this vegan activism stuff and yeah they're living in close quarters they're sharing hotel rooms they're traveling around going to these vegan activist events and so on right yeah yeah that's part of it too but that makes it even worse this is a co-worker and a colleague you've got to live in close quarters with what's the best-case scenario here what's the best-case outcome for this guy so if she shuts him down and then you have awkwardness and hurt feelings for that reason that's one path if she does grudgingly sleep with him if he manages to seduce her then what happens to the weeks and months after that there's awkwardness and tension and inappropriateness in her feelings Richard is a guy who really just does not have a lot of real life experience these things but look age gap relationships are difficult delicate age gap relationships in the workplace between coworkers Richard - giving terrible advice here when you say that he did nothing illegal you may be correct but when you say that he did nothing inappropriate you are dead wrong [Music]
driving to the countryside with another activist he asked me if I would have something with a man that is in a relationship I said no very clearly and explained my reasons then he proceeded to explain how he and his girlfriend are in an open relationship and tried to convince me how great it is to be with multiple people back to the third night when he asked if he could kiss me I said no but he kept asking to kiss me and kept on pushing I was nervous uncomfortable and trying to find a reason to escape from the situation okay I want to point something out here women aren't on/off switches they don't just instantly get turned on and especially young women I think this woman's 18 years old eighteen years old they played hard to get and she's trying to make it seem as if his behavior Oh being pushy keep at like where he keeps asking for a kiss even though she said says no oh that's abusive you know exploitative behavior no it's just part of the game a lot of women play hard to get they like being chaste and they do this type of stuff where they're like oh no I don't really want to kiss you know I'm not interested and it's just part of the game some women sometimes Richard not all women not all the time and for you as a man in that situation with your biased perspective do you think you are gonna pick up on that distinction do you think it's responsible advice to give men that if they're in this sort of situation they should disregard the woman giving negative signals and that the man should just be more assertive that the man should work with the assumption that she's just quote-unquote playing hard-to-get do you think the man should behave as if it is quote unquote just part of the game I think that's really terrible advice Richard now you said most women most women play hard-to-get and play this game in the 21st century I don't even think it's ten percent of women who follow this pattern of behavior anymore maybe I mean in the 1950s or 1960s you know the idea of a coy refusal it used to be a more common cultural trope in the Western world I guess but whether it's ten percent of women who behave this way ten percent of the time or sixty percent of women who pay it this way 60 percent of the time you gotta use sympathy as an analytical tool here Richard you've got to think about it from the woman's perspective now in this case the woman was 18 years old it makes it worse this sort of situation it only differs by degree it doesn't differ in kind when you're talking about an 18 year old woman as opposed to a 30 year old woman because really you can't have all the same issues and conflicts in romancing a 30 year old woman as an 18 year old one but yeah it's worse it's worse it's several degrees worse because she was 18 Richard can you imagine yourself at age 18 trying to refuse the advances of an older married woman in this case it's an older guy who's in an open relationship estate who's hitting on you who's pressing you for sex and this woman chooses to interpret your refusal as you just playing hard-to-get this woman chooses to interpret your refusal as coy and then she's more assertive believing that it's quote unquote just part of the game now I can't make the claim that absolutely zero percent of women you know followed this pattern of behavior that he's presenting here as a justification for this kind of male pay-for of being more assertive in disregarding refusal and I can't say he's your Oh percent of men but the best advice you can give people is to live your life as if it's zero percent of people who are coy in this way as if zero percent of people say no but mean yes as if zero percent of people are just in sincerely playing hard-to-get you should live your life according to that better and higher moral standard for a variety of reasons not just to relieve the stress and strain on the people you may be flirting with or hitting on and that's the part that's the easiest to sympathize with like you just think okay what if I were in the reverse situation what if the I were the 18 year old Miss older guy is flirting with Newsline the ultimate game is no gain the ultimate game is when you can sit down with people and play it completely straight and open and honest and it's just hey maybe you're attracted to me and maybe I'm attracted to you and maybe we're going to do something about it and maybe not and where there is no game there's no deception and there's no expectation that the other person is deceiving you and when you really play it honestly that way all right we play in an honest open way with no games then right away you get a sense of how sincerely attracted or not attracted the other person is to you how interested they are in you and in what way they're interesting like are they interest in a relationship were they just interested in when I stand and what's what's going on on on their end once I was taking the bus with my girlfriend this was in Victoria in Canada and a guy came and sat next to a girl right next to us it's not worth describing the whole scenario but they're four seats that are facing each other so we all really saw and heard what one another was saying and this guy sits down with a girl and he he's attempting to hit on her part with her and there are two university students and they obviously have at least one class together where they they know the same professor they're dealing with some of the same stuff of the class so the guy comes and he tries to hit on her and it goes very poorly and then they both kind of get up and leave though leave the bus and I said to my girlfriend Melissa Wow that's not the way I would have handled that at all you know in terms of hitting on a girl me know she would has this do and she said oh wow you know how how would you have done it how would you sit down and you know kind of present this opportunity woman so I acted out with Melissa I said oh yeah this so decide this is how I do it this is what I'd say you know and I spoke to her exactly I would speak to hypothetically you know somebody in that situation and Melissa immediately got extremely turned on and flustered she was you know laughing and she put her hand I managed to stop it you know you're really you're really getting me killed us on this buzz but I said to I said yeah but that's how you respond because you're attracted to me like you have chemistry with me you're drawn to me that's what that's showing I'm not tricking you into this I'm not talking you into this you know that's how you respond someone else wouldn't spawn that way or someone else would respond with 50% as much warmth and someone else would respond in a manner that's tepid and another person would respond actually being you know standoffish so given the way I told the story at this point you might think I said something really charming or really flirtatious or really forward to Melissa knock that out and know I was here is what I said to her you know I said sit down and say hey I saw you in class that was good presentation was cut no no it's like there's nothing here right listen to this that's it you sit down make eye contact you know yeah because the reality is like all you're doing is like a litmus test you're really just you really you're showing the person hey I'm interested in you I like you I want to talk to you I want to spend time with you and then how they respond to that is up to them the ultimate game is no game and when you play that way in a way that's honest and open and warm and also just constructive like hey I'm not gonna presume what kind of relationship we can have a lot of time I talk to people and it's like well look you know maybe you can be a friend of mine maybe we can be like intellectual colleagues maybe we can be like political colleagues but maybe you're someone I can practice languages with like I'm studying Chinese I need people to study Chinese with or something you know there's more than one possible outcome to this scenario not just like either you're the person i seduce and have children with and get married to or nothing you know or it's not not some kind of preset you know limited number of outcomes or it's it's it's open in that sense also you're open as to what this might lead to you're not prejudging it but you know you really avoid breaking people's hearts you avoid breaking your own heart to it say you don't want to charm someone or manipulate someone into liking you into love and you went to sleep with you and then they wake up the next morning and regret it and in a sense you don't want to you don't want to talk yourself into it within the next day you know you you might be the one who wakes up and regrets it part of the game I wouldn't even consider this behavior inappropriate and he certainly didn't do anything illegal he just kept asking if he could kiss you nothing illegal about that and I wouldn't even say that's bad behavior so vegan gains here takes the next step into absurdity the first part of his argument is the first part of his argument is that if a woman refuses a man should disregard that refusal and be more assertive because he should regard this as quote-unquote all part of the game completely completely secure that he is suggesting that a man should work with the assumption that a refusal from the woman is insincere that she's playing coy that she's playing hard to get and that the man's role is to be more assertive I completely disagree with that and then he texted takes the next step into absurdity by claiming that there's nothing inappropriate about this that it's not even inappropriate this is a workplace situation is an older dude I think he's about 30 with an 18 year old female and they're their co-workers their colleagues right they're soliciting donations do this vegan activism stuff and yeah they're living in close quarters they're sharing hotel rooms they're traveling around going to these vegan activist events and so on right yeah yeah that's part of it too but that makes it even worse this is a co-worker and a colleague you've got to live in close quarters with what's the best-case scenario here what's the best-case outcome for this guy so if she shuts him down and then you have awkwardness and hurt feelings for that reason that's one path if she does grudgingly sleep with him if he manages to seduce her then what happens to the weeks and months after that there's awkwardness and tension and inappropriateness in her feelings Richard is a guy who really just does not have a lot of real life experience these things but look age gap relationships are difficult delicate age gap relationships in the workplace between coworkers Richard - giving terrible advice here when you say that he did nothing illegal you may be correct but when you say that he did nothing inappropriate you are dead wrong [Music]