Spirituality: Lies & Consequences. (Light Twins)
02 February 2019 [link youtube]
The opening comments on censorship, defamation and slander between vegans… do you ever get the feeling that history is repeating itself? This is an old conversation with The Light Twins, still salient to several controversies today. Spoilers: the Light Twins split up "for spiritual reasons" (one of the two joined a new-age religion, and rejected his own family, including his own twin brother).
Youtube Automatic Transcription
did you wash your face before I
supported freely enduring a hard every I know every time somebody talks [ __ ] about me I'm like no they're changing the world they're doing great and honestly when all this was happening this was one of the hardest videos we had to make and it was like now we're gonna stand for what we and this was before monkey I first told I brought spheres like Jay we have to do this video Jay's like know what we're not doing I'm like I'm staying out of it no I can't do it and then he starts pulling up a couple of videos I start looking into it I have been following the story so closely especially since the Balaji's thing went down with vegan mojo and I was just for me like like with the holy gay thing and all that's the fat shaming fine whatever like when you try and take down someone's channel and you're bitching about someone taking down it's just that right there I could have made a video then but you know well that that that also takes into everybody to just recognize hey you know this is this is not okay because I mean what happened with with with vegan mojo and full circle vegan in some ways it is kind of trivial like it's not as serious as what happened with me but also it shows who you're dealing with it shows the character of people like Tyrion writer and freely it shows you who they are and how they really play the game team to not in to dish it and not think like especially with you your videos are not in like you're not the type of guy who's just slammed are you actually like you might like whatever but it's all backed up the collage achill like reasonable like even if you're wrong you're at least you're presenting it in a way that that's like well I'll just say also seeing you you're just going against what they're saying that's not like that's called a conversation sure I should just make this plain because we talked about this I am recording the audio but not the video for this so if you guys want to use this I'm I think this conversation is going really well I was worried because I'm so sick I haven't slept I thought we wouldn't use it but this seems to be going well so if you want to use the audio I can share with you and I can podcast or whatever but if not okay coo coo coo coo coo total ersten but look the thing I was gonna say in response what you just said now because we can we can do whatever with the audio but I just say it's going well I was worried to say as I'm so tired and so sick I've been up coughing all night so I just didn't think was gonna work out and also my face looks pretty puffy because of a sec but hey I don't do I don't do a makeup Channel but look you know one of the things I've always said and I still say it now to my haters to people I'm communing with communicating with when I'm communicating with people who literally are calling me a pedophile which I think you guys will agree is not like except this is not a debate forgot me a pedophile a sexual predator away but let's just say it's one of those I say to people again and again is you don't have to agree with me I'm not trying to force anyone to agree with me I recognize that what I'm saying is actually edgy and stimulating and like it's not I'm not repeating the things that most vegans agree with whether I'm talking about like vivisection or you know pet ownership or you know even like habitat conservation like forests you know it was one of the people saying look why is it that nobody today in 2016 and veganism talks about habitat but forests and bears wild bears and [ __ ] look why is it that the you know it's it's edgy and it's stimulating but like you don't have to agree with me and of course most other channels like during writers in extreme cases actually he's actually trying to force his followers to agree with them what I'm saying is I've got something that I think is really worth talking about and if you want to take that in your own direction that's great like I really believe in democracy in that sense I really think we all become wiser if you want to hear what I'm saying and disagree with it but I've been obviously like you know don't slander me dice him pedophile but you know but still I really do encourage that and I you know I mean whether whether um you know whether it's 2,000 people appreciate that or whether it now grows to 10,000 or something I don't really care but I've never been trying to get this cult-like following that so many other channels are pursuing of sitting there and saying I'm right here's the truth and either you agree with me or you're not vegan because in a sense the most pathetic insult against me when you think about it why would durianrider say I'm not vegan which he's always said you know like it's a really weird and so anything but why am I even talking about this [ __ ] if I'm nothing he put on our comments section we're we're also in the fake vegan Club by the way yeah absolutely yeah oh yes so you guys are older than thought you where have you guys actually been University or no if you have been if you haven't that's great if you're surviving without for two years okay and then we and then we pursued online poker for four years I know the college I've seen people that were I graduated ahead of me and they were not getting any jobs in there tell me about it tell me about it luckily someone showed us an online poker game and on the at the basement and then we just developed some skill and we were like well I think we're pretty good at this so let's do that so five years we did that we were actually like top ten in the whole world for her buy-in and like 2009 and 2008 and stuff it was pretty wild so your career was as professional gamblers technically that's what that's called I could do it right now if I wanted to right now but we turned it into a year YouTube girl but the freedom is like I never agreed with like whatever the whole structure but anyways the poker gave us the time to like we basically at one point we moved into the middle of the woods and just studied and did research on ourselves in the universe and like just really understood who we are to get our emotions this is where we developed a lot of our like just who we are and develop like you know just like being able to know we found out that there was more to life than just us here there's actually there's there's a lot going off you know over here and we're just coming here for lessons and life is actually a purpose we're trying to gather skills to to take them with us so you're actually certain let's say there's this all pop mighty God or call them whoever you want but there is we believe in a soul and reincarnation and we sing we've done enough to see that it's true and there's like a purpose we're all here to actually learn something and once we can we're all actually one so we have to learn it collectively and when slake we get to that threshold of what we're supposed to learn is gonna be clear when you were out in the woods were you sober or we got high on mushrooms okay cool that's when I stopped drinking stop smoking stop everything out there it was perfect so I'm also a nerdy like you clearly for the first time I saw the like god I saw the world just heading down the [ __ ] and I like I was getting depressed didn't know why do you know why I was here at this time and Blake found purpose after I never being in college and literally like going through the thing like I have to watch my family die I got a die like I'm like literally cried myself it was so it was so bad and then I got like there's must be something going on and to realize that like death I mean of course your body dies but there's something of you that that that moves forward and there's there's there is a um there is a like Oh UFOs and all that stuff I mean absolutely believe in that stuff in their song there's a grand scheme there is like so what's going on earth is so genuine in what we're supposed to be learned can't be read in a book it can't be taught it needs to be learned for yourself you guys you guys have you guys have probably guessed I don't believe in any of this stuff that's cool I mean I totally built but I totally build friendships with people who disagree with me I've got friends now um I just say I've got I've got friends now who are vegans who are conservative Christians I got one vegan friend who's a Mormon you know and she's a conservative Mormon she like believes masturbation is evil I don't know world's world's gonna fall apart if people stop masturbating from our perspective gonna be riots in the streets man you know I mean I and I myself I have a background I used to be a scholar of Buddhism used to be a Buddhist so I've gotten appreciated for diversity people obviously in veganism I feel there's this huge voice that's being ignored right now in YouTube which is actually Buddhist and Hindu vegans and in many ways like when I say they're the future just like the next five ten years they're gonna be a big part of what's going on look I don't mean 100 years from now is another question but people coming over to veganism from those religions that are already like semi where there's already a little bit of a tendency towards veganism I think that's probably where a lot of the growth potential is but obviously there's there's potential everywhere but I just mentioned you guys you know in terms of belief in the soul and destiny Buddhism was founded interestingly Buddhism was founded with a belief in reincarnation but not right well but this was interesting Carter's respect to what you just said but not a belief in the soul and not a belief in destiny so it actually it actually rejected those things so claims there is reincarnation but there is no soul and there is no destiny in the sense of a God planning the future or a group of God's plan in the future the gods and Buddhism are kind of just like people with superpowers they're kind of like superheroes in common but they do have gods but they're not they're not really planning your future or destiny or anything so anybody just say you guys there's a lot for you to for you to play around with but that's a remarkable story you went from amateur bodybuilders being professional gamblers doing poker to haha you know being vegan advocates so every day I would just say there were 16 hours click click click click click and I literally watching the numbers go across the screen I could totally imagine yeah sure yeah so in my soul I totally knew I wanted to do something about that in in the poker was not fulfilling what I had in my heart I was making money but it wasn't it wasn't making me happy so we really had to step back and we were like what are we gonna do and then YouTube was just the next step cuz I don't know is YouTube now your your only job because I mean do you have another job also ok well ok just uh three it's not a third month now right now okay so cuz I remember a videos from while ago like maybe this is more than a year ago but you guys were actually working on like on a rock quarry yeah yeah I thought that was really cool I thought wow finally we got some vegans who do a real job stop playing poker and like weeds we had liqueurs where you start everything we're like we're gonna do the vegan YouTube and like with the poker you can't you have to dedicate your you can't have to get some rabies no time for anything else so with a job we could find time to shoot videos ourselves from there sure but also you know I so I myself am more of a kind of academic and bookish character but I know a lot of guys like that guys who got page tees and so on and when they when they've been through it for a few years what the what they wish they could find is honest work and you know manual labor when it's honest work when it's not killing people or doing so you know when it's not working in a slaughterhouse or something that is something really precious in life you guys you may or may not have heard me say this but right now I'm considering for my long-term future opening a small hotel and of course it would be a vegan hotel and I could have like vegan events there once in a while but for me at this age I would I would prefer to run a small hotel than to have a PhD even though I know you know running a small hotel it means cleaning the windows mopping the floor you know it's very humble work in many many ways I mean standing there and talking to guests and talking to tourists and in practicing languages also you know studying languages like I do but for me and again I know a lot of guys with PhDs who would rather be in the rock quarry I know it sounds crazy but it's really true because in terms of how you feel when you have a job we have to be dishonest with people or you have to lie or something you know honest work is hard to find in 2016 is just awesome stone and that was that they pay me at the end the day hard work come home and I would get something out of it I feel strong at the end of the day you know and really used it to like it and and it wasn't like we were always gonna be in it always gonna be in the right quarry we knew there was a means to an end the whole time we had a plan so it was so honestly for me I kind of embraced it like well I got like on my music player I always put like battling me music and the craziest things keep us all pumped up basically if anyone says we work hard for it please you spend spend the summer in the wrong car and give me a call please a couple years you know like we did so actually you know when I finish University so I have this largely useless diploma in political science and I think right now I think YouTube is the only place well if there's no job that it leads to but yeah right right it's fine for me but when I finished that you know actually what I decided was that I would become a pharmacist which saying you know is totally different totally unrelated but what I wanted to do was a combination of humanitarian work you guys have already heard me talking without helping poor people in Cambodia in places like that I wanted the humanitarian work and research and I thought being a pharmacist was a nice kind of technical field where you could include that in humanitarian work earn enough money to do humanitarian work but it's not really taking up your whole life and you know it was it was already you know for for Asia if it plays that I did go and go and live directly I already had other scholarly interest so my parents completely refused to support that which is bizarre and most people eyes on that it's like why would your parents like refuse to let you become a [ __ ] pharmacist like it's such you know if I said I wanted to become an actor or a movie star or a musician I understand why your parents might say no but pharmacists they said no they absolutely refused I was like well okay I'll get another job to support myself well in the coming a pharmacist and I applied to become a bricklayer so that's the same kind of hard physical work and for the same reasons it's that honesty you know whatever you wake up you haul bricks you know what I mean you go to bed with a clear conscience and that's right right right and you know this it's kind of energizing you know you're not you're not going to sleep at night worrying about what you're gonna do at work the next day it's gonna be another it's gonna be another pile of bricks going up the hill right so but but my parents they were even more horrified by that and they absolutely refused to let me become a bricklayer even temporarily because I wouldn't have done if the rest of her life so what that was the time I ended up moving to Hong Kong I didn't moving Hong Kong getting a job there and that started my whole crazy life in Asia for years and years where I had nothing but a backpack and you know I lived in all these places so this brings us back but obviously we gotta talk about the dream a little bit you know so like when people are chiang mai asked me like what are you doing in chiang mai it was like I've been coming here for more than 10 years it's like this is really a part of my life you know that's that's part of the answer the other part has to do with the job of God but I was not there at a Gatecrasher Auto for I was not there to cause trouble it was it was a weird coincidence that I was there at that time it really it really was a coincidence but way back so I guess 2002 2003 then I started living in Hong Kong and I started doing jobs in musial ajit religious museums in Hong Kong Taiwan Thailand and that brought me to UM that brought me to Chiang Mai for the first couple times and then after that was done and then moved to Laos and my my adventure continued but it was it was really in many ways the opposite of what I wanted to do again as you guys know I'm an atheist I'm a nihilist I'm not religious but in a lot of ways what I wanted is more like the kind of humble Christian vision of you know honest work whether it was the bricklayer or the pharmacist and again it is very similar to Christianity or of course some forms of Buddhism that what I wanted to do was have a life devoted to humanitarian work and a kind of service public service and again for me being a pharmacist is like that it's a very simple job being a pharmacist but you are helping people you know you have to do an odd job that was dishonest that made you want to do this work more or was it just like are you not being fulfilled at the job doing like what yeah like what led you to think you wanted to do more honest work sure well you know like I mean ethics is a large percentage of what I'm ranting on about on my youtube channel and I I can say I've always been like that but I could figure out when in my teenage years I started but you know ethical philosophy has been a huge part of my life from from an early age and I mean the set for me the sad thing is that some even within the humanitarian work the ethical problems are terrible it's very easy to do unethical and evil things when you're employed in humanitarian work so just mention again this relates to the drum indirectly it's hilarious to me that people are saying like I went to Thailand to UM can't just stop this phone call to make sure everything's good and then call you back and wilshire okay alright if you want okay we'll reboot okay cool all right [Music]
supported freely enduring a hard every I know every time somebody talks [ __ ] about me I'm like no they're changing the world they're doing great and honestly when all this was happening this was one of the hardest videos we had to make and it was like now we're gonna stand for what we and this was before monkey I first told I brought spheres like Jay we have to do this video Jay's like know what we're not doing I'm like I'm staying out of it no I can't do it and then he starts pulling up a couple of videos I start looking into it I have been following the story so closely especially since the Balaji's thing went down with vegan mojo and I was just for me like like with the holy gay thing and all that's the fat shaming fine whatever like when you try and take down someone's channel and you're bitching about someone taking down it's just that right there I could have made a video then but you know well that that that also takes into everybody to just recognize hey you know this is this is not okay because I mean what happened with with with vegan mojo and full circle vegan in some ways it is kind of trivial like it's not as serious as what happened with me but also it shows who you're dealing with it shows the character of people like Tyrion writer and freely it shows you who they are and how they really play the game team to not in to dish it and not think like especially with you your videos are not in like you're not the type of guy who's just slammed are you actually like you might like whatever but it's all backed up the collage achill like reasonable like even if you're wrong you're at least you're presenting it in a way that that's like well I'll just say also seeing you you're just going against what they're saying that's not like that's called a conversation sure I should just make this plain because we talked about this I am recording the audio but not the video for this so if you guys want to use this I'm I think this conversation is going really well I was worried because I'm so sick I haven't slept I thought we wouldn't use it but this seems to be going well so if you want to use the audio I can share with you and I can podcast or whatever but if not okay coo coo coo coo coo total ersten but look the thing I was gonna say in response what you just said now because we can we can do whatever with the audio but I just say it's going well I was worried to say as I'm so tired and so sick I've been up coughing all night so I just didn't think was gonna work out and also my face looks pretty puffy because of a sec but hey I don't do I don't do a makeup Channel but look you know one of the things I've always said and I still say it now to my haters to people I'm communing with communicating with when I'm communicating with people who literally are calling me a pedophile which I think you guys will agree is not like except this is not a debate forgot me a pedophile a sexual predator away but let's just say it's one of those I say to people again and again is you don't have to agree with me I'm not trying to force anyone to agree with me I recognize that what I'm saying is actually edgy and stimulating and like it's not I'm not repeating the things that most vegans agree with whether I'm talking about like vivisection or you know pet ownership or you know even like habitat conservation like forests you know it was one of the people saying look why is it that nobody today in 2016 and veganism talks about habitat but forests and bears wild bears and [ __ ] look why is it that the you know it's it's edgy and it's stimulating but like you don't have to agree with me and of course most other channels like during writers in extreme cases actually he's actually trying to force his followers to agree with them what I'm saying is I've got something that I think is really worth talking about and if you want to take that in your own direction that's great like I really believe in democracy in that sense I really think we all become wiser if you want to hear what I'm saying and disagree with it but I've been obviously like you know don't slander me dice him pedophile but you know but still I really do encourage that and I you know I mean whether whether um you know whether it's 2,000 people appreciate that or whether it now grows to 10,000 or something I don't really care but I've never been trying to get this cult-like following that so many other channels are pursuing of sitting there and saying I'm right here's the truth and either you agree with me or you're not vegan because in a sense the most pathetic insult against me when you think about it why would durianrider say I'm not vegan which he's always said you know like it's a really weird and so anything but why am I even talking about this [ __ ] if I'm nothing he put on our comments section we're we're also in the fake vegan Club by the way yeah absolutely yeah oh yes so you guys are older than thought you where have you guys actually been University or no if you have been if you haven't that's great if you're surviving without for two years okay and then we and then we pursued online poker for four years I know the college I've seen people that were I graduated ahead of me and they were not getting any jobs in there tell me about it tell me about it luckily someone showed us an online poker game and on the at the basement and then we just developed some skill and we were like well I think we're pretty good at this so let's do that so five years we did that we were actually like top ten in the whole world for her buy-in and like 2009 and 2008 and stuff it was pretty wild so your career was as professional gamblers technically that's what that's called I could do it right now if I wanted to right now but we turned it into a year YouTube girl but the freedom is like I never agreed with like whatever the whole structure but anyways the poker gave us the time to like we basically at one point we moved into the middle of the woods and just studied and did research on ourselves in the universe and like just really understood who we are to get our emotions this is where we developed a lot of our like just who we are and develop like you know just like being able to know we found out that there was more to life than just us here there's actually there's there's a lot going off you know over here and we're just coming here for lessons and life is actually a purpose we're trying to gather skills to to take them with us so you're actually certain let's say there's this all pop mighty God or call them whoever you want but there is we believe in a soul and reincarnation and we sing we've done enough to see that it's true and there's like a purpose we're all here to actually learn something and once we can we're all actually one so we have to learn it collectively and when slake we get to that threshold of what we're supposed to learn is gonna be clear when you were out in the woods were you sober or we got high on mushrooms okay cool that's when I stopped drinking stop smoking stop everything out there it was perfect so I'm also a nerdy like you clearly for the first time I saw the like god I saw the world just heading down the [ __ ] and I like I was getting depressed didn't know why do you know why I was here at this time and Blake found purpose after I never being in college and literally like going through the thing like I have to watch my family die I got a die like I'm like literally cried myself it was so it was so bad and then I got like there's must be something going on and to realize that like death I mean of course your body dies but there's something of you that that that moves forward and there's there's there is a um there is a like Oh UFOs and all that stuff I mean absolutely believe in that stuff in their song there's a grand scheme there is like so what's going on earth is so genuine in what we're supposed to be learned can't be read in a book it can't be taught it needs to be learned for yourself you guys you guys have you guys have probably guessed I don't believe in any of this stuff that's cool I mean I totally built but I totally build friendships with people who disagree with me I've got friends now um I just say I've got I've got friends now who are vegans who are conservative Christians I got one vegan friend who's a Mormon you know and she's a conservative Mormon she like believes masturbation is evil I don't know world's world's gonna fall apart if people stop masturbating from our perspective gonna be riots in the streets man you know I mean I and I myself I have a background I used to be a scholar of Buddhism used to be a Buddhist so I've gotten appreciated for diversity people obviously in veganism I feel there's this huge voice that's being ignored right now in YouTube which is actually Buddhist and Hindu vegans and in many ways like when I say they're the future just like the next five ten years they're gonna be a big part of what's going on look I don't mean 100 years from now is another question but people coming over to veganism from those religions that are already like semi where there's already a little bit of a tendency towards veganism I think that's probably where a lot of the growth potential is but obviously there's there's potential everywhere but I just mentioned you guys you know in terms of belief in the soul and destiny Buddhism was founded interestingly Buddhism was founded with a belief in reincarnation but not right well but this was interesting Carter's respect to what you just said but not a belief in the soul and not a belief in destiny so it actually it actually rejected those things so claims there is reincarnation but there is no soul and there is no destiny in the sense of a God planning the future or a group of God's plan in the future the gods and Buddhism are kind of just like people with superpowers they're kind of like superheroes in common but they do have gods but they're not they're not really planning your future or destiny or anything so anybody just say you guys there's a lot for you to for you to play around with but that's a remarkable story you went from amateur bodybuilders being professional gamblers doing poker to haha you know being vegan advocates so every day I would just say there were 16 hours click click click click click and I literally watching the numbers go across the screen I could totally imagine yeah sure yeah so in my soul I totally knew I wanted to do something about that in in the poker was not fulfilling what I had in my heart I was making money but it wasn't it wasn't making me happy so we really had to step back and we were like what are we gonna do and then YouTube was just the next step cuz I don't know is YouTube now your your only job because I mean do you have another job also ok well ok just uh three it's not a third month now right now okay so cuz I remember a videos from while ago like maybe this is more than a year ago but you guys were actually working on like on a rock quarry yeah yeah I thought that was really cool I thought wow finally we got some vegans who do a real job stop playing poker and like weeds we had liqueurs where you start everything we're like we're gonna do the vegan YouTube and like with the poker you can't you have to dedicate your you can't have to get some rabies no time for anything else so with a job we could find time to shoot videos ourselves from there sure but also you know I so I myself am more of a kind of academic and bookish character but I know a lot of guys like that guys who got page tees and so on and when they when they've been through it for a few years what the what they wish they could find is honest work and you know manual labor when it's honest work when it's not killing people or doing so you know when it's not working in a slaughterhouse or something that is something really precious in life you guys you may or may not have heard me say this but right now I'm considering for my long-term future opening a small hotel and of course it would be a vegan hotel and I could have like vegan events there once in a while but for me at this age I would I would prefer to run a small hotel than to have a PhD even though I know you know running a small hotel it means cleaning the windows mopping the floor you know it's very humble work in many many ways I mean standing there and talking to guests and talking to tourists and in practicing languages also you know studying languages like I do but for me and again I know a lot of guys with PhDs who would rather be in the rock quarry I know it sounds crazy but it's really true because in terms of how you feel when you have a job we have to be dishonest with people or you have to lie or something you know honest work is hard to find in 2016 is just awesome stone and that was that they pay me at the end the day hard work come home and I would get something out of it I feel strong at the end of the day you know and really used it to like it and and it wasn't like we were always gonna be in it always gonna be in the right quarry we knew there was a means to an end the whole time we had a plan so it was so honestly for me I kind of embraced it like well I got like on my music player I always put like battling me music and the craziest things keep us all pumped up basically if anyone says we work hard for it please you spend spend the summer in the wrong car and give me a call please a couple years you know like we did so actually you know when I finish University so I have this largely useless diploma in political science and I think right now I think YouTube is the only place well if there's no job that it leads to but yeah right right it's fine for me but when I finished that you know actually what I decided was that I would become a pharmacist which saying you know is totally different totally unrelated but what I wanted to do was a combination of humanitarian work you guys have already heard me talking without helping poor people in Cambodia in places like that I wanted the humanitarian work and research and I thought being a pharmacist was a nice kind of technical field where you could include that in humanitarian work earn enough money to do humanitarian work but it's not really taking up your whole life and you know it was it was already you know for for Asia if it plays that I did go and go and live directly I already had other scholarly interest so my parents completely refused to support that which is bizarre and most people eyes on that it's like why would your parents like refuse to let you become a [ __ ] pharmacist like it's such you know if I said I wanted to become an actor or a movie star or a musician I understand why your parents might say no but pharmacists they said no they absolutely refused I was like well okay I'll get another job to support myself well in the coming a pharmacist and I applied to become a bricklayer so that's the same kind of hard physical work and for the same reasons it's that honesty you know whatever you wake up you haul bricks you know what I mean you go to bed with a clear conscience and that's right right right and you know this it's kind of energizing you know you're not you're not going to sleep at night worrying about what you're gonna do at work the next day it's gonna be another it's gonna be another pile of bricks going up the hill right so but but my parents they were even more horrified by that and they absolutely refused to let me become a bricklayer even temporarily because I wouldn't have done if the rest of her life so what that was the time I ended up moving to Hong Kong I didn't moving Hong Kong getting a job there and that started my whole crazy life in Asia for years and years where I had nothing but a backpack and you know I lived in all these places so this brings us back but obviously we gotta talk about the dream a little bit you know so like when people are chiang mai asked me like what are you doing in chiang mai it was like I've been coming here for more than 10 years it's like this is really a part of my life you know that's that's part of the answer the other part has to do with the job of God but I was not there at a Gatecrasher Auto for I was not there to cause trouble it was it was a weird coincidence that I was there at that time it really it really was a coincidence but way back so I guess 2002 2003 then I started living in Hong Kong and I started doing jobs in musial ajit religious museums in Hong Kong Taiwan Thailand and that brought me to UM that brought me to Chiang Mai for the first couple times and then after that was done and then moved to Laos and my my adventure continued but it was it was really in many ways the opposite of what I wanted to do again as you guys know I'm an atheist I'm a nihilist I'm not religious but in a lot of ways what I wanted is more like the kind of humble Christian vision of you know honest work whether it was the bricklayer or the pharmacist and again it is very similar to Christianity or of course some forms of Buddhism that what I wanted to do was have a life devoted to humanitarian work and a kind of service public service and again for me being a pharmacist is like that it's a very simple job being a pharmacist but you are helping people you know you have to do an odd job that was dishonest that made you want to do this work more or was it just like are you not being fulfilled at the job doing like what yeah like what led you to think you wanted to do more honest work sure well you know like I mean ethics is a large percentage of what I'm ranting on about on my youtube channel and I I can say I've always been like that but I could figure out when in my teenage years I started but you know ethical philosophy has been a huge part of my life from from an early age and I mean the set for me the sad thing is that some even within the humanitarian work the ethical problems are terrible it's very easy to do unethical and evil things when you're employed in humanitarian work so just mention again this relates to the drum indirectly it's hilarious to me that people are saying like I went to Thailand to UM can't just stop this phone call to make sure everything's good and then call you back and wilshire okay alright if you want okay we'll reboot okay cool all right [Music]