Bad Advice: Confidence, Dating & Romance. (vs. Based Zeus)

if you're new to my channel you might be
surprised to learn that this is not my first video about dating advice or about romance it is also not my first video specifically responding to the nearly infinite source of bad advice called based Zeus here on YouTube so basis now has over 1 million subscribers his influence and his cultural significance has continued to grow and grow during the years at least one year in which I've been commenting on basis and his terrible dating and romance advice I remember last time doing in the garden in France I'm pointing to my girl off camera by the way we've yet to see a girlfriend for base Zeus on camera we have to see any other women is life we also don't know how old he is we don't know how good-looking is we don't know if any of the stories he tell us about dating are real let me tell you something never doesn't oh boy all the stories about me getting late let's check real I think all two of them I don't think I've told the whole hell of a lot but you have people who watch my channel regularly I think they've figured out a fair bit about my about my licit sex life shall we say including my marriage and my divorce I have a kid I have an emotionally complex life and I have emotionally complex relationship with women and if there's one thing you can say about the advice from face Zeus it's that it's lacking emotional complexity so real quick response to his latest video quote how to be confident around girls how to make girls like you and and be more confident all right question number one I want to ask here is how really does confidence help so this is something the PUA guys or pas or pickup artists this is something guys guys this is something they're actually divided on and they debate okay and one thing I want to say to you use sympathy as an analytical tool think about how you perceive this situation if you were the woman if your roles were reversed if a woman walks up to me and hits on me at the gym and she's super confident does it help either I'm interested in her or I am now right if a woman walks up to me at the coffee shop like ie we're talking with complete strangers or 4/1 walks up to me in the university classroom who's been in class with me for a while we've chatted a few times where we're not complete strangers or at the library or it's a co-worker what difference is it gonna make to me if she comes up and flirts with me and she's super confident what if she comes up and flirts with me and she's kind of nervous and she's kind of shy but I can tell she's interests that could touch her if I'm interested I'm interested and if anything maybe it's gonna be a thrill that she show wow I can see she really likes me it's nothing wrong with that if she lacks confidence but she wants me and I want her then it's on right so my girlfriend's smiling off-camera this ain't rocket science but the advice from base soos is terrible and guess what let's double it up to make this extra clear if there were two different girls at the gym and one of them walks up and hits on me and I'm ice and another one walks up and hits on me and I'm fire maybe there's somebody standing back watching and say hey wait that girl was confident that girl came up she was super confident she had great game and she really talked to you but then this other girl she wasn't confident and and you responded way more positive why was that because there's nothing to do with confidence I wanted this girl I didn't want that girl or I was interested in I was open to the possibility of one girl and not the other okay there's a TV show and a book series called game of Thrones in that one of the major plots is the obsessive sex life of this guy little finger little fingers his nickname he so if you watch the TV show you've seen this whatever it's an HBO hit TV show known as people Xena his whole life there were two sisters so they look alike they don't look they're not identical twins but they're sisters and he wanted one of them and he never wanted the other he was in love with Catelyn he was always trying to get with Catelyn and he didn't want the other sister Lysa even though she was in love with him doesn't matter that's it that's all comes down to it doesn't come down to if you're confident or not it comes down to whether you're the right man or you're wrong one whether you're the right woman or the wrong one and maybe maybe that is part of the tragedy of being bone being born in human form okay but that's the tragedy we're all struggling with and they'll from your perspective as the dude okay maybe you don't know maybe you don't know yet in a lot of situations you do know if it's a co-worker if it's someone you're in class with you probably already know before you walk up with on her and try to hit on her you probably already know if she's really interested not interested at all or maybe a little bit you put if you're not an idiot if you don't have Asperger's syndrome I'm not using that as a slander Asperger's syndrome it's a real thing you know if you don't have one of these disabilities where you can't read and judge innuendo and nuance or hey if maybe English isn't your first language that's another huge thing language barrier cultural barrier oh I knew all these I knew these really awkward situations with Middle Eastern guys like Arab immigrants hitting on white women and hitting on like Chinese women and oh you know and they mean well and they're just not getting it and you know oh so yeah cultural barrier mental disability there are other factors here with all that aside you probably do already know and if you know that confidence won't help I got a co-worker there's a girl got a question on and someone I've chatted with a few times in my class at University and I know I know she's not what I'm looking for so what if I roll up on her super console what it's not me it's not her it's not gonna happen or even if it does happen the confidence is not going to help okay um the other big piece of advice he gives you here is keeping it shallow not talking about anything too profound keep it relaxed keep it she'll don't talk about anything of substance so if a girl walks up to me it's C the same exercise I don't want her whatever reason maybe she's ugly maybe she smokes marijuana maybe she smokes crack she uses cocaine I mean they're things and she may not know that about me she may think she's cool smoking dope let's say it's a co-worker and she smokes marijuana during her breaks and to me that's just rebar 'but --iv and i'm not interested and it's a turn-off and i want she doesn't know that she thinks so she's close she thinks maybe she assumes I smoke weed too and I'll call that no for me she's like put herself on a really low level just because she smokes weed in guys some of you this is happening to you're a dude who smokes marijuana and spends your time smoking marijuana and playing video games and for some girls they are gonna look down their nose at you that's it you're judged you're not on the menu you're disqualified you are disqualified and some other girl she smokes marijuana and plays video games too and that's what she's looking for in a guy that's that's out there also good luck that's probably not the girl you want right whatever it is maybe she's ugly maybe I think she's not smart of me maybe we're not in the right you know we don't very common interests right so if she follows this advice she rose up on me super confident talking about totally shallow [ __ ] is that gonna help her is that gonna help her get over that that bridge get over that hill get over that disadvantage no no yeah but I think I think for any guy I think you know I mean maybe if a girl walks up to you who's really not that attractive you weren't interested but she walks up to you and she's getting into a conversation that to you is really interesting and really meaningful and really heavy and really profound and really unexpected it's like Oh Marjorie like I didn't know I didn't know you look at oh you've been my co-worker here you've been in this class with me oh and we connected in level oh we both are interested in blank or oh maybe it's something I'm not even interested you just walked up to me and said the most interesting thing about World War one and I wasn't even thinking about World War one it's like oh wow okay I didn't know you were a deep an interesting person like that maybe now you're not looking so ugly or you don't maybe now I don't think you're a crack head or something whatever the disadvantages are maybe I don't just judge you because you're lazy at work or you're a lousy student here at the University or whatever my or your clothing or my shallow first impression is maybe if you take it a bit deeper you know you have a bit more you have a bit more of an advantage um before I met my current girlfriend there was a girl with University answer I'm saying Corolla let's say she was 27 so fully grown woman so she was 27 I was probably 37 just a couple years ago whatever was and she was attracted to me I was charted her and you know we had a bunch of conversations but the things about me that interested her don't interest me all right so you got us Pro tellers Chinese on this shirt I speak Chinese I'm study you don't study Chinese at time and stuff it's still him now she was really interested about the places I've been in Europe the trouble like 20 yeah she was really interested in some anecdotes I told about in my relationship with my brother one of my brother's I have several like I remember the stuff that she was interested in and you know it made sense I knew enough about her for career aspirations her background her educational background there was stuff she liked about me but this is gonna sound a bit brutal it's not stuff I like about myself you know what I mean and like so what I came out of the closet on this a couple video games ago in the past I was a video game journalist a long time ago so I kind of know I know a certain amount about video games if I met a woman and that's what we had in common that even if that's who I am well that's something I did in the past no that's not really who I aspire to be in the future that's not what I want to do so you're not gonna you're not gonna get that groove on and I think that situation ended both her and I both Americana I look at each other like maybe maybe mmm you know and we just both didn't do it and that's cool right and I mean I think that's the other lesson based Zeus is never gonna give you like connect to people in a meaningful way and and disconnect from people because most of the time it's it's not gonna work out right and I think the saddest thing of all what he's never really honest to you about are the levels of this the difference between talking to a complete stranger at the gym or at the library as opposed to someone you've had a few conversations with in the university classroom or co-worker setting because guys you got gotta be kidding yourself I saw really briefly I saw this dude at my gym flirt with and hit on two different women right in front of me same guy on two different days and it was really like formal pickup artist stuff like one woman I was there I won't use his real name but I was there when he was sitting on the edge of the bench the worker but she was waiting for his chance and then he actually stepped forward and put his hand out to shake hands like yeah I'm Brett I got that moment you know Jim isn't that big I was just legitimately lifting weights but I'm like standing right next to them but this happens I saw him really put in game on two different women into slightly different scenarios and you know one of the women responded negatively and one of them responded really positively she was just really warm and appreciative you know she probably appreciated the flirtation the next time I saw that woman come to the gym she was with her husband and her eight-year-old son so you want to put the time and energy into hitting on randoms and being so confident and having these shallow conversations guess what you're doing you're spending most of your time flirting with and flattering a bunch of married women women who are off the market women who are taken women or lesbians women who for a million different reasons are never possibly gonna reciprocate your interest and if you just think a little bit sympathetically if you just think from the woman's perspective if you were in their shoes I think you can come up with your own advice a lot better than what basis is currently selling you