Brianna Jackson, Why I'm No Longer VEGAN

I ended up for going into a major
relapse with my anorexia and when I say major I mean that I was I'm surprised that I didn't die and I really mean that I was eating absolutely nothing you know I'm sure I was still very codon part and I remember losing something like 50 pounds in just a few months I think it was 50 pounds in three months and remembering on only 4 foot 10 so I only weigh right now I only weigh about a hundred and fifteen pounds it was around that time where I found freelee the banana girl now if you don't know who free the banana girl is I've talked to people from the whole range the whole spectrum of the freely ratha for phenomenon I've talked to true believers of choc to people who lost their faith I've talked to people who participated you know in person and events in Thailand people who used to be leaders and who went from being leaders to becoming critics we've definitely come to a point in this phenomenon where people are starting to look back at it as something that's in the past tense they're writing the history so to speak of the wonder that was freelee the banana girl and her short-lived but seemingly important and influential dietary / political movement I think I typed in something like weight loss dire or something to do with weight loss on YouTube obviously while I was so [ __ ] in the head on the verge of death still trying to lose weight and that's when really popped up and that's how I found out about her now if you guys don't know who freelee the banana girl is she's a vegan youtuber she's primarily raw vegan but she has a very interesting way of promoting veganism for a brief period is very started to people the line between activist and athlete was blurred and the notion that the the great secret I mean the the great catalyst for social change in this planet is happiness is you is your personal happiness that all you have to do is share with the world how happy and how healthy you are that's a powerful delusion that appeals to people at all ages people who feel powerless I think there are sixteen year olds who are still in high school who saw that and it called out to them they thought that's me that's what I can do I can put on a bikini I can tell people that I've cured my acne or cured Crohn's disease or cure diabetes or cured schizophrenia through this diet I can come on and make these testimonials I can film myself having fun I can show how happy I am to ride a bicycle riding a bicycle does not make you that happy okay that's ridiculous that in itself is ridiculous I can talk about my personal transformation how five minutes ago I was a hippie who had no self-confidence and was shy and now I'm an athlete with this very confrontational attitude this type of because if this is part of it right was this transformation um that made powerless people feel powerful all I saw was her body you know I just saw how lean she was how skinny she was and she flaunted that you know she's always kind of flaunted what a low body fat percentage that she had and you know I was already vegan at the time you know I didn't break my veganism even when I was in my eating disorder so for me it seemed perfect I thought oh wow you know I can just eat fruit all day and I can stay skinny like boom and it's only after changing my diet now and like incorporating animal products then I've been able to gain even more healthy weight at the end of the day you know being someone who is very passionate about Fitness you know I want to gain muscle and I wanted to gain weight become stronger etc etc that's what I'm passionate about now where is gonna get my protein from if I couldn't eat soy you know what I literally just gonna live African a few vegetables and some quinoa like No yes vanity yes wanting to be beautiful yes that's something that drew people in but as much as we might talk about it I think now in looking back and writing history the wonder that was freely in the auto for a phenomenon I think we forget that even though that people's attention it's easy to forget that these other factors that I've just enumerated for what kept people inside or what made this something that had political and even spiritual ramifications that made people believe this wasn't just about their vanity this wasn't just about having great abdominal muscles or a great figure that this was about saving the planet all I saw was this woman telling me that I could still be skinny but then I could eat as much as I wanted eat all the fruit I wanted and it was fine because fruit is what humans are meant to eat and it's what we're designed to eat anyway and you know again being as mentally sick as I was I completely bought into that if you have a mental illness it's so easy to be manipulated or to become obsessive over things you know and on some level I wish I could say that that spirit that enthusiasm could be recaptured could be saved could be channeled into a more positive a more political more pragmatic a more genuinely helpful and even dare I say a more nutritious form of veganism but I don't think you can I think the wonder that was freely in the auto for diet as a chapter in history of this movement as unique and bizarre as the an Urkel primitiveness chapter you can search that much channeling human works that came and went before as unique and bizarre as the Deep Ecology movement that came and went one ideology after another comes and goes I think right now the abolitionist movement of Gary France neonate we're seeing it come and go direct action everywhere I think we've seen one fad after another come and go and yes a lot of people have powerful sentiments they want to help they want to make the world a better place but they become members of cult-like movements that have all the wrong answers because fundamentally they start by asking all the wrong questions just figure out what's best for you what makes you feel the best the healthiest the most energetic what keeps you the happiest okay and do more of that and be kind to others alright lots of love guys speech you soon when the consumption of animal products necessary for us why do we still continue to support these industries but cause so much suffering and pain to these intelligent and gentle creatures I mean really people like to disrespect my truth but the fact is that you know my name is I don't know