An Hour With Lance Carbstrong: On Substance and Scandal, Friendship and Politics via Youtube.

I'm honest yen are you are you still
doing my career work now I had one of my brothers as a bike courier for years and years I man this man i don't want here they did it for two years in montreal about three years in vancouver Wow and my relationship of being a courier would you bike a lot but you end up nowhere great slogan there could be on a t-shirt though that's really great [ __ ] huh that new en yeah anyway like I say so just saying a minute ago I don't expect someone keyed you're actually friends with durianrider or you just feel like you're its friend because you've been watching his videos for years I don't expect someone to trust me or believe me by default but the question I asked this girl will do it is but this girl is talking to just a few hours ago was look you know if you meet someone in a cafe and you don't know that what you just met me nail in a cafe and your honors mine and and I'm a complete changer and your friends with durianrider like you're actually friends is the oh yeah you know that guy Jerry writer like yeah I know it's channel but you know he did something really horrible to me in the past how are you gonna react to that you know like I think you don't have to believe me I think there would be some level of curiosity some level of concern like you know I have had some friends in real life were pretty crazy I knew a guy named Philip and he got himself into all kinds of trouble if someone told me there's someone told me you know your friend philip you know he you know he really hurt somebody or ii did something out of line I'd say yeah you know yeah okay yo sorry to hear that I just ask that kind of question to people like it's like it really not like I'm saying you have to take my side you have to be my Ally on that you really don't you can dig it criticize me also or you can ask where you can support durianrider it's fine but it's just kind of asking that by you taking that Santa's out by giving sort of a people to take their own sets that ain't gonna win you over with a lot of people yeah well I it went me over with the people who I want to talk to anyway because you know like you don't have to be everybody's friend and I'm not really going for the same fans the during writer has any way you know like I don't do a fitness channel I don't do a biking chin I don't do a weight-loss channel so you know some of the right people end up finding my channel and sticking with it and that's fine with me if I have 1,000 viewers of the video I'm totally happy because i'm not i'm not trying to make money into it so that's cool anyway well yeah so you you assume you're somewhere to the Ontario you were assuming i was in canada all this time okay cool there's a whole lot of like out like oh [ __ ] this guy lives right next thing because he's not gay okay well you know now right be one of the funnier things during right I said about me she said that I had legal charges against me because I was [ __ ] so many women in a vegan group in Quebec like I was sleeping on so much the vegan moving at a time I have been living in victoria bc i remember i just pointed out to people i said you know if you believe this is true have you looked at a map and even see where a quebec is a huge province already but like have you actually looking about how far away victoria is from Quebec yeah if some other did Ben Cooper for two years it's pretty far away yeah yeah so yeah most of those most of activations they're just not believable anyway so that's why it's always kind of weird we see people online you're like well if you actually believe this stuff very writer says likewise you click into the fact that all of its so uh so believable anyway oh cool tell me what about yourself I mean you know so you're coming up are in the vegan YouTube thing the videos I've seen from you you have some stuff about ADHD you had some stuff about no fap I know we can take a summation rumor that you're vegan and I can start yet you know it's important question before I ask you why did you decide to become vegan or when Wendy did what was your vegan story that's the life and story was in 2011 I became a bike messenger in Montreal and I quit and then went back to witness it to myself okay so I'm going to go back to being a bike messenger I'm going to focus on focusing on eating well and you know all that type of health stuff so I found veganism and I was pretty much you know rolled into one more YouTube videos and getting into nutrition stuff and it's uh almost five years and so clever so been a been an interesting went to nutrition school you know realize it's like a lot of stuff that's focused on you know more meat and dairy industry pushing so I was like okay it's not really what I'm because I thought it was like you know going to be who's holistic nutrition not be actually going to like a university-level kinesiology or nutrition so I was like okay well this is it's almost like going to university but with more of a hippie spin right person you know holistic nutrition so I wasn't really into that it just wasn't really for me so I decided to debate but see how YouTube goes and it's been an incredible experience before on YouTube but it's a lowly yeah go ahead boys a really interesting puzzle at one time I was looking at enrolling in culinary school so cooking school to be blunt but most of those schools the majority of what they teach you is meat because you know the really tough health and safety regulations all have to do with meat like you know that it's not just that but it's not vegan but that really the majority of what they have to teach you is how many hours can you handle the chicken how to clean the chopping board after you've chopped chicken on it how many hours can you handle milk and me because that's you know all the laws and regulations have to do with some contamination and disease from meat so you're looking at this stuff it's like most of what I'm paying to learn I don't want to know her Africa so yeah I ask you most of the nutritionist options will be lasagna yeah ya like like whipping is predominantly based around making dead kings case really good right so you're kind of like a friend to work in high-end restaurants in Vancouver and sort of like what's protein heavy and it's like you know like eighty percent of what we serve is like meat in eggs and stuff that's centered around that so it's definitely challenging especially like only imagine such a circumstance where you're trying to you know let's learn about cooking oh it's only he's like your date you know old custom stuff so are you are you still doing my career working out I had one of my brother's a bike courier for years and years i miss man i don't want here they did it for two years in montreal about three years in vancouver well and my relation being a courier would you bike a lot but you end up nowhere welcome that could be on a t-shirt so that's a real difference [ __ ] bike everywhere and I learned about law and learn about you know working in bike shops and it is very like in front you say stuff is also don't feel like autonomy yeah like you work with your selfs and that stuff but now more focus on just like you know traveling and shot going around the world and you know that's what I'm focused on but also are you going to Thailand oh yeah why don't I do it I'm gonna be going yet yeah well what I say over the I mean you know again all this stuff we can use it on my channel but we can edit out anything that's too boring well you know I mean I am a useful force to talk to go silent I'm not like bragging but you know what I lived in that part of Asia for years and years before I'd ever heard of durianrider and you know that's always been a weird part of the tension or contrast you me and the other people in Chiang Mai like some people you know when they asked like well what were you doing in Chiang Mai it was like I think the first time I went to Chiang Mai was maybe 2003 but you know I lived in Thailand Laos Cambodia that was really a big part of my life and I learned to speak the language study several languages there and you know like I'll just say this for a vegan those parts the world they are excited they are interesting and you know I was talking to a guy a couple weeks ago who had just been doing humanitarian work in Syria so you know the civil wars in Syria so he wasn't in this area he was just over the border the refugee camps in other countries next to Syria they might possess cerium area but you know and he was talking to me and he was interested in learning arabic and setting I said look I really respect what you do but if you're making this decision that's going to change the rest of your life not just the next two years but the whole rest of your life I think you should look at some of these places in Asia where there's a connection between the culture and vegan is a positive connection because you know like if you learn Arabic and you live in places like Jordan you know Palestinian territories and so it could be a very rewarding life but how does that jive with your beacon so you say like I do appreciate like it's not for no reason that vegans are interested in Thailand and another one on the map it's really special is Taiwan Taiwan is a really unique culture of veganism yet just the island of Taiwan and hard as hell if you don't speak Chinese Thailand is pretty well set up yeah if you just speak English traveling around town is quite easy taiwan not so yeah like I just say like some people think I'm out here just ridiculing everyone who goes to Thailand it saying they're all full of [ __ ] well some youtubers are full of [ __ ] ok but if your job in my job everyone's job to laugh at that come on guys you know I think and I think it's fine that other people laugh at me too many exactly exactly yeah yeah you know like okay Chanel as you say you know it doesn't trust me at all I know I'm not discouraging you if you're interested in going to Thailand I can relate to that so you're saying you look at you're looking at doing a period of travel and I'm guessing parents want one place in the lift yeah yes absolutely so I'm kind of just one way to get there and then we'll see what kind of happens afterward but I'm gonna be getting a six-month visa to stay there and probably going to be here you know circumnavigating the surrounding areas and yeah just experiencing what Cowan has to offer well I mean six months is definitely enough to change the rest of your life and you probably know that the visas aren't that big a deal because you can cross the borders if you want to I did you so again this is one of things I used to say in the old days people forget about this I said many times the videos me and jury and writer have a lot in common I did long-distance cycling in Thailand I was doing 100 yeah 150 kilometers a day 120 kilometers are they here and there yeah I did cross country so i click yeah I was also doing humanitarian work and research and studying languages I wasn't just try to comply sickle but yeah yeah I mean you know if you want to do that stuff you can and I think the question everybody has to make sure I actually don't know how old you are but it's still true I'm 38 I'm pretty old but I have to look at every year oh you're 21 sorry 23 23 cool cool cool um so you know I just say I think you do have to look at every year of your life in terms of how it's setting you up for the next year's like just to give it example it's possible when you're 65 you're going to retire in Thailand maybe you'll never go back between 23 but you know he did the stuff you're learning both terms of traveling there and if you decide to commit to studying a language or something it's it's not all meeting once I mean you know Thailand I just say this it's really easy to hate on the places that are set up for tourists like pacia is an infamous town and most of the people need their hippies and vegans and alternative lifestyle oh cool they'll say oh no i'm not a tourist i'm a traveler I don't go to these places where tourists go well if English is the only language you speak and you want to sleep somewhere that has no rats and no mosquitoes you know there's a reason why the tourists go places and like patty as an example so Patti has infamous because it has a lot of prostitution and just like I know I know I feel like if you've just traveled around the world you just taking a long airplane ticket from Canada you don't want to get out and see McDonald's you don't want to see western food and restaurants and Patea is one of those places a lot of western restaurants you know but in terms of the first place to go after you get out at the airport you know the beach is genuinely incredibly beautiful it's genuinely easy to get there you can walk from your hotels the beach and I know what it's like to be in the villages where there's no electricity no running water nobody speaks English when you show up you get interrogated by the police and the police may be drunk while they're in Turkey you can you can go out to the areas where there are no tourists and you might discover why oh my god sure you can update out in areas I mean this is more Laos than Thailand but it's true of talents you can go in the areas where there's still gun fights going on where there's you know rebel army activity paramilitary activity at different times the Thai borders with Myanmar dev where's the Cambodia be hey I'm in all those kids if you want adventure you can but then yeah the places the tourists go they go there they go there for a reason but yeah at six months I mean it's enough to change your whole life right absolutely so it's going to be I'm just yeah I'm just 23 method through that risk or that's not really the risk but that's one of my life where I kind of want to just go out there and see what the world has to offer I mean kind of do great i'm getting wrong right but you know in terms of the speed more cultural landscape and what it has to offer it's fun but it this is my home but i want to go in to see other places yeah so again I I don't know it special I presume you're heterosexual or someone in the spectrum but I have had many gay friends and i really say to them the thailand and laos kind of the most important place to visit to give you a sense of how deeply accepting those coaches this is both thailand and laos they're uniquely accepting of homosexuals in the world of all kinds you know LGBTQ plus plus plus the whole list there was a transgender so a male to female so a young man dressing as a woman and when he applied to enter University there they simply asked him do you want to sleep in the men's dorm or the women's dorm like they regarded gender as that optional and there were guys in the military in active military service you know cross-dressing or transgender or two to whatever extent and one of things that touched me most when I saw it because it was just such such an unpretentious scene when I was on a bus with my bicycle and put my bicycle out of the bus you know there was just a group of teenagers sitting and you know the teenagers like in Western culture fall into types there's kind of a tough guy and nerd you know you can kind of identify tight but all of them were talking to the transgender teenager there was a male to female transair junior and if they were completely normal it was just you could see there was no their current facility so you see those things I mean Thailand I do not think it is the world's greatest culture for veganism but it's interesting and in terms of human sexuality the whole spectrum especially you know gay and transgender sexuality it's like it's a culture shock words experience you know it's like this is a country that never had the Catholic Church that never had genocide that never I'd colonialism you know in in the sense that we have in the wind I think the whole Western world and they've come out of that historical process with really different attitudes toward sex heterosexual sex as well as gay sex so you really get a season right now yeah yeah I grew up with a friend pretty much GBC q community so I could you know i think yes I'm me I did it you now with who was it with as it with Martin and a lot of people were like oh my god you're gay and I was like dude like I was like okay tell me whatever you want I was like you know what and I think that a lot of people who are inherently or inherently but actually trying to be closet or trying to hold their sexuality you know it's not disclose it I think those people are over macho right and that's always asking something problems people who were like no no I'm not gay I love women women read those people that are have their own issue so when people thought I was like hey you guys can call me whatever you want I don't really care yeah yeah so what before the others conversation was it mostly the long-distance cycling that is yours to you about Thailand or like I'm not saying this insult you but was it may be some of the ideas you got from durianrider most people was it something in particular that you wanted to check out in Thailand absolutely i mean i think with I mean for me I to be transparent I mean seeing some of the videos that he made in terms of the landscape here you know I try to I mean when I first went on youtube I focused predominant and trying to make a dramatic content I think your eyes I've matured and made content you know if I want to focus more on positive stuff you know showcasing the landscape and yeah to certain state for sure I mean to did influence my decision going there ultimately it's me who has to pay for the flight and me who has to find remember kok me like it's must not like a youth camp yeah me what's going so yeah I'm scared to say yeah people definitely do have an influence on but even you give me insight like that like the stuff you puke and Eve just right now about my lenses I just try to collect information from air everyone across the specific region sure and it should be oh go on sure well you know Thailand is going through a really difficult political time right now I mean Thailand is an interesting country in so many ways and remember i was there when the Prime Minister of Thailand officially requested that they be removed from the list of poor countries use presentations on I mean yeah thailand is is no longer a poor country and like when i was in chiang mai one of these i commented on in in a podcast i did you know I was talking to another guy was there I said you know in Chiang Mai you really do not see beggars anymore maybe you'll see one or two you know the whole time you're there but you know Thailand has emerged from poverty they've failed to emerge from military dictatorship that constantly their democracy is constantly collapsing there are a lot of those kind of kind of political issues there it's a fascinating place I mean the reality is unlike China I mean here in China people are learning Chinese is a language because they really think they can make money doing it Thailand is a place that people go just to spend money and not to earn money so like you know I feel like saying to someone like you will look you've got six months there you're there for long enough you can at least test out the language like C if you'd be interested in learning lounge you know i'm not saying jump in and commit right away but you know they have a lot of university programs there that are catering to english-speaking Westerners and they're very cheap by international standards whether or not they're cheaper than just getting University in Canada for Canadians isn't that I don't know you'd have to look at a case by case basis but you know the problem is if you do decide you know you want to have more to do with Thailand and Southeast Asian your future a nice place to spend money terrible place to earn money yes that's why everyone around you is there yet one of the irony's I've never was one of the one of the dramatic moments in my conflict with durianrider there was another youtuber don't get any more Hannah Chloe what's her name and she came out with this really dramatic video at the time that said that durianrider had this weird sexual encounter with her okay cool yeah yeah anyway so Hannah Chloe came with a story of all the people I knew in Chiang Mai and you couldn't tell this from YouTube channel she was the only one who had a straight job she was the only one taking language classes she was actually learning Thai she was really engaged with the relay yeah and you know like I didn't want to insult her about that but well okay I probably did though I was I probably send her some pretty insulting emails and Facebook message when I know she and I election but I was really saying to her stuff like look you're not this dumb stop pretending to be a bimbo on the beach in a bikini like I know the reality of who you are you got a job you're going to school you're you know why can't your content reflect that so like in a sense that's flattering but I'm being odd it's a pretty pretty confrontational way so I just say those those opportunities are there I forget so she was doing like a part time setting university courses and had a job and everything man like see that's the thing like if you if she was still there I would say to you look this is the one person you should really meet and talk to because they're connected to the reality of of Thailand in Chiang Mai and most of these cats are not you know and like I say there's nothing wrong with the vacation but yeah if you want to be on that yeah that's a really good because I think yeah it's kind of interesting seeing the levels of the commitments you know doing towards the area that's because that's a great point you brought up actually especially yeah I Guardian speak three languages I'd love to learn what I want okay cool English French and what's the third person Spanish is Alana yeah well proceeded to total monosyllabic asian languages it's on another level of difficulty aaaaa try to learn as few languages as possible for mirrors my advice for you so look a mad dog with the stuff i mean if you actually want advice on the level of what train to take in thailand you can email me anytime and i'm happy i'm really i'm happy to provide advice for that stuff and also i'm living very close to thailand from thailand you could walk you could walk from chiang mai to where I am in China however you would have to walk through more than one minefield and at least one civil or currently ongoing civil war so if you're comfortable with walking through rebel-held territory you know shoes I have a book but this is a beautiful beautiful parts of the vision I'm not far with where I am in China they literally grow mangoes in the streets jack fruit trees palm trees is gorgeous yeah I'm on the tropical edge of China and obviously some people complain about how repressive the government is here but I'm on the edge of an ongoing civil war and we have complete peace and safety your real life problems edge yeah so I appreciate the hard work of the the People's Liberation Army of China the army here it's keeping us you'll say so I'm looking and you never talked to me before you've watched at least a few of my videos did you have some questions for me come into this thinking we want to get honestly I just kind of always free ball it to be honest with you you know I kind of just come in and try to feel how everything is I think a couple questions I probably wanted to ask specifically is how what are your opinions on the current state of the vegan in YouTube oh you know I mean the funny thing is I had a really positive time on YouTube was a really positive period in my life on YouTube just before durianrider really attacked me into fame me and created a joke it was kind of a funny thing but I mean like I came into it with low expectations I say this all the time I was really on YouTube and before that I had a vegan blog to make friends when I left Cambodia so I used to live in Thailand Laos Cambodia East for all those countries but just to make it simple when I left Cambodia I lost all the friends I had in Cambodia when I left Laos or Thailand also true immediately before i moved to victoria in canada i was living in taiwan when i left taiwan i lost two friends Adams have one so I showed up in Canada with nobody and nothing and I'm really like a foreigner amount country now I got nobody in Canada see now that's not true the only friends I have in Canada are people who know me from YouTube yes that's the thousand inside of it it really is it really is positive for me so it's just like look I'm going to come youtube I'm going to talk about what's meaningful my life I'm going to make some friends and I guess I guess you make some enemies but starting from that really low you know set of assumptions that really low set of objectives youtube was really positive and really successful for me and again from my perspective not the number of views or something it was really successful right in that period before durianrider decided hubert chapter destroy lee so you know it's okay um and you know i guess you know I'm always gonna have to ask myself what would have happened if i took that conflict in a different direction than I did you know I could have just acted like the whole thing was a joke I could have just acted like I wasn't upset at all you know and I could have just acted like or you know I couldn't you I could have even pretended I was guilty like that would have been funny too in a way I could have come on camera and been like look guys I'm so sorry i had this romance with a younger woman she lied to me about her age like you could you could ham it up ten different ways right and the other hand how would my life be different if it actually had come to blows we actually had the violent confrontation and you say among other opportunities i gave him any opportunity to meet up with me but one of them was when I said look I'm gonna be at this location at this time a couple days in advance it said I'm gonna be at this karaoke bar you can come and see me but before that also y'all just ready know this kid yeah the carry out the actual karaoke bar was garbage that the microphones and [ __ ] the actual said it was terrible so I tried to sing but it was [ __ ] terrible anyway so I'm still resent it very rarely i go out and do something like karaoke bar but i couldn't i really couldn't sing i met from them that's some cool vegans though I mean I hung out with a bunch of vegans who are not not idiot but nobody tried to kick my ass let me tell you so yeah you know those questions always be there well okay your question was was not about that was what what's going on in the vegan scene so basically I'm just explaining for me there's a lot of fundamentally positive and wholesome and wonderful things about this if I can meet five people of probably ideally Canadian five people around the world who are really my friends who are really motivated to save the animals save the planet work for ecology if I can meet five people were that kind of positive this month I'm happy I'm winning you know so it's not fake humility on my part like that really is my perspective on it and yes everything else is garbage and yeah you see you yeah you thought of you've had a couple issues with them bigger totally look I was gonna say I mean like a given i will see just the thing all the time so I just I just said to someone I said to EE Evans in your commented to like meee Evans I didn't tell her to stop criticizing me I said look criticize me but like raise the level of it like why don't you criticize me with the same fairness that I criticized your vegan like it's cool it criticize me but don't criticize me with this kind of defamatory personal insult above my wife and my daughter and stuff you know what you better like you know you criticize me which is totally legit you criticize me because I kind of lost my temper with ryan from happy healthy vegan which are completely correct about I did that's completely true and you know I you know though I don't think I mean sorry I cook no no it's cool by just saying like you know I don't I don't expect people to pretend I'm perfect or anything but like you know you have a moment like that you quite correctly said like when I was first talking to Ryan I was trying to relate to him on some common ground talking about Buddhism and that was like in terms of why i was living in Thailand and Laos and Cambodia the first place for me you know I wasn't there for the gay sex clubs I wasn't there for the strip club and I you know although I did do long-distance cycling I wasn't there for the cycling that was just a fringe benefit I was really there because of Buddhism and because the opportunity in humanitarian work can be politically engaged with the types of disasters already talked about like the you know uh ongoing civil wars and poverty and that stuff that's that's what I'm into in life you know mixing you miss Eyre work yeah that's that's kind of guy I am which again is a contrast to somebody like Torian writer who doesn't do any kind of humanitarian work isn't it interest in political reality or poverty or refugee camps in really different strokes for different folks um but you know yeah I was trying to talk to some common ground with ryan and you know so I said look I actually have this background as a scholar of Buddhism I learned the ancient scriptural language of Buddhism of actually lived in Buddhist temples with famous Buddhist monks like I have a real background on this and so and he identifies as a Buddhist now you know his reaction okay so his reaction pisses me off I can choose to not show that we all do that all the time in public you know somebody says something that that aggrieved you I can I can just ignore it or i can play Ryan's game and yeah man yeah yeah yeah you know I could or you know I can keep it real on camera hey [ __ ] you who are you calling a fake bullet [ __ ] you hey hey no hey no you know you're not going to tell me that Buddhists never engage in war and slavery and rape [ __ ] you look at the history of the world every Buddhist country that's ever existed was a bloodthirsty empire based on constant war in slavery I used to live in Cambodia Cambodia is one of those violent countries in the history of the world killed millions of their own flake come on what the [ __ ] you know like we're going to talk about what if they're right so you know that's that's it like it's a choice I'm not someone who's not in control of my emotions but guess so that comes back to like what's the point of being on YouTube what would be the point of being on youtube if I'm going to kiss Ryan's ass if I'm going to be fake if I'm not going to be real and especially if it's about something like Buddhism I think that's an opportunity to really be real mate like it's something totally personal it wouldn't be if you're going to talk to me about your break up with your girlfriend I haven't seen your videos and I saw you up some videos i just noticed though tell you you know I see a little bit phony well you know I think considering cuz there's no point in keeping it real like it what I feel like man you should feel ashamed [ __ ] you did it man very bad but sure if we're going to talk about Buddhism or vegan politics or something if I don't keep it real you know why are we on YouTube any way yeah that's kind of our children i agree full pardons be with you i will because i think that a lot of the people specifically on youtube take things to a specific level so fast without any sort of substance and I think that this right here what we're doing is to think a very vital and important part of how things should operate I mean we and you know and I and I like how you just mentioned the tweet that you put out because it was cordial it wasn't an argument we had a discussion i'm actually really enjoying this right now sure you know getting a better understanding of each other and so many people just get so pissed off [ __ ] you later on [ __ ] out and make a video response and it was like it's all i'll try to have a little bit of you know patience and understanding of this is just youtube animation like a lot of people understand me well i think i think a lot of people because the the most memorable moments they've seen on youtube were of extreme emotions they think the way to be successful on YouTube is to be unreasonable but like to get the example of when I broke down crying in the video response added to a durianrider like you know so i think it's like 40 minutes long it's a really long video I forget what it's more than it's more than 20 minutes long right like there's a whole build up to me we think it's not it's not just out of the blue and you know a lot of things at one point that video the electricity cut out in my apartment because I was in Thailand you know it's a little bit their world and at one point the lights go out and you know if the computer turns off like that I haven't saved the file then the video will be lost so I've just been there pouring my heart out on camera and for half a sec oh my god I'm thinking I can never record this again like if I try to like perform a second time it's going to be faked it's never going to be as real you know so like there's all these weird emotional but stood annual final I break down crying because I'm describing it's not like a shallow thing I'm describing like you know during writer says this stuff to me what if this impacts my divorce case and my custody battle with my daughter and I said I don't think it will but I'm just thinking about what if it did and I'm getting upset and that gets quoted that gets remembered as durianrider called you fat so you broke down week well so when people get on camera to make a new video like that that's what sticks in their mind is just the extreme emotion so they think the way forward is to be as unreasonable as possible about stuff but it's not i think the way for is to be reasonable and be real and if you got the courage if you you know if you can take the risk you know if you're real about the stuff that really matters to you you'll get emotional just talking about it even if there's no other conflict I can totally imagine I you know I was literally weeping this morning I broke down crying watching a documentary on veganism is actually um life according to Oh had it's a Israeli documentary now L I didn't fill myself week but you know I mean you know veganism and some of those issues you know they get to me an emotional way where it's it's not fake i just i left the manufacturer fake drama whether i'm talking about politics or you know stuff I really care about veganism or family issues or break up with girlfriend that's you know that's going to be there and then you know you get to find out on youtube um who wants to watch you may come to despise your audience because your audience may all be people who enjoy watching you break down crying you know kind of weird you want to see the [ __ ] unfortunately here you know they want to be drama they want to see that's the nature of youtube it's entertainment you know the route premise of youtube is entertainment so people wanted to entertain them I find a lot of you know intellectual and intelligent people who have actual substance that offers are a lot of the times like I'm I personally feel I have value to offer to the community that does washer on content and I do filled up with love people who don't have substance and we don't have a message to offer people are the faker that someone is the more people want to flock to that and it's a very interesting dynamic we're really nothing to offer people have this massive fellowship we said why the [ __ ] don't I have that yeah like you know I'm not sure so like my standard for having something to offer is pretty low and then being sincere here like if somebody asked me once I was in a university and there was a younger guy and he was wanting to eventually get a PhD he was just normally but that was his dream was to go on a path and he had doubts about trying to write and publish an article I just said to him look you know stop faking it just your honor why you writing this article because you read three books you're not the greatest expert in the world that's okay you read these three books I haven't the other people who read this you're going to read the article you write maybe they've read one of those books maybe they've read to maybe the red zero that's your audience that's what you have to offer you took the time to write these three books now you're going to come on YouTube and talk about it are you going to write the sister and that's cool you don't have to pretend to be anything else you don't have to pretend to be an expert and I feel that way you know about YouTube whatever it is like like if your experience is you're going to Thailand for these reasons and you don't know fine you know like just be honest about that like maybe before you go to Thailand you're going to read three bucks great that that really is enough you can just look I'm a Canadian guy I got interest in Thailand for this reason I read these three books and now i'm here asking myself these course great that really is something to offer so like in a sense starting from being honest with yourself about your ignorance means you've always got to offer exactly well so i assume i assume you're not you're not married yeah no no no no no Who I am a child free a single thank you it's good you said that because some of my viewers may may be interested but you know I mean that to me that's the ultimate reward about keeping it real I had a young woman you know really trying to holler at me for at least a couple weeks or a couple months and you know I hit a turning point in the in the conversation or in the seduction because you know what I realized was like you know you meet people on the internet and your main concern is like you know does this person have like delusions about me or misconceptions about me you know because they know me from YouTube videos or case from ready come on yeah but like you know when you really keep it real i remember i just had a turning point in the conversation what was like wow you really know who i am and you're really into me like you have a crush on me like for me for who I really am not for someone I pretend to be or not for some idea it was just wow it's just you know it's just a moment that comes in your head I know look for me it's not all about sex I hope I have that moment with heterosexual men who just become my friends also who is another like but it's obviously it's more striking when someone's actually trying to seduce you and you realize oh like you know it's me you're trying to seduce it's not it's not some idea you have about me you you've heard me talk for hours and hours of remarkable and man that again like in terms of keeping it real on YouTube that's the ultimate reward and like all the [ __ ] like you think about that moment if i compare that to all the [ __ ] i went through with vegan cheetah but I got this one moment to me that's worth it now yeah my theory she was vegan as well you know we had an interview yeah I don't know if you thought the interview with him in the summertime we did an interview it was like oh I was fan blowing so hard oh my god first interview big youtuber is we gonna be insane and like I didn't have a camera on my laptop so it had to like skype it from my iphone and then record it on a canon camera so it was like totally [ __ ] up my mom was like [ __ ] I want to go to bed I was filling it in her room and like I remember afterwards I made a couple of videos cuz he's having he's making all this crazy content all these you know I think you've experienced I'm sure of some of the content he's made and you know and i made a video and he all the sudden turned and i was making content like I try to make caught for me the contents I'm a cop it's not perfect but I try to look at a situation sure I gotta give the viewer the choice of what they think the situation is going on so I'll try to present the cortical facts because at the end of the day we're never really going to know one hundred percent was going on you know a because people lie people have their own they manufacture stuff I should have looked at what's going on okay this is what this person says this is what this person says what do you guys think and teachers God he called me a [ __ ] pervert he called me a sexual deviant because I circles like I'm the opposite of a sexual deviant from their own didn't even understand and add she's got a little bit you know he was I was you know do you now I had people commenting on from the unibrow cast like all that he's talking about you look I don't give a [ __ ] like I don't even know Charles yeah or not I was this guy and people get us the problem of youtubers like if I I'll probably never meet him ever I don't think he can this is no offense the child but I think he can leave United States is a convicted felon I don't think she can actually leave the United States yeah so I'll probably never meet him yeah and I never saw the comment that you get in the [ __ ] he does say I called him out once and he retracted everything he said I think you have something to say to me let's hug it spirited debate yeah I'm it's weird like a thing is because I'm an insider I know Charles actually does operate by a moral code it's just a really [ __ ] twisted local code because like the point at which I got most upset with Charles was when he had a video up and I saw the title and I didn't watch the video so for like several weeks or may be coupled like two months I didn't watch the video and it was apparently a like a video exposing me in my private sex life and he knew he knew stuff about my real life that because we have been friends like I talked about yeah so I assumed this video was going to be about especially was gonna build one real woman in my life ever from the title it was clear from filling the other two a little bit that it was alleging I was involved with two women so I didn't know what that because that wasn't true or maybe it was some other story you remembered from the past or something but I assume he was taking the stuff we discussed privately and put it on youtube and then eventually when I watched the video I was way less upset I should have washed it right away but I didn't want to watch because I didn't want to hate him I didn't want it and at that point we were like we had been friends so recently it was like if he really did this to me like maybe I should just never watch the video cuz like you know i don't i don't wanna ask what conflict if someone's been your friend don't know watch the video it was complete [ __ ] and she knows the true oh and i was i was really surprised that's why i say like he's always had some kind of moral code because he chose to never say the true things about my sex life that he knew and i still don't get it that's why i like other situations I'm just left baffled did Charles actually talk to my ex-wife or not unbalanced I think he did but yeah he got de talk to my ex-wife on the phone but I think he never reported any of the real content of the conversation like I think it's the same thing we're he only told [ __ ] about it you know and again there's a kind of moral Colbert you know it's it's really weird and that's why I like again some people don't get it's like well why didn't you still like hold out a branch for Charles I knew him well enough I know what kind of potentially as I know he has some talent and he's wasting it but you know that's what is your anything up looking at a guy was like dude I know you got talent I know you can do better this and I know that part of you wants to do better this especially now that he's got a new girlfriend and doing the other stuffs like he doesn't want to do the same [ __ ] but nobody would anyone would get would get bored of that stuff yeah um yeah okay you want you want we can plunge deeper into stop it or we could change the topic you know I hand it to you Michael brought a roll let's just roll with it man I'm um so there's something I've experienced as well [ __ ] you know him trying on her relics I wouldn't say her ass just your nail created you know I would just downright lot you know about me and you 10 n right I was like you know he made up a little bunch of [ __ ] and roasted me and called me a [ __ ] idiot on his you not broadcast your I made a response didn't I was like this you don't have the ball swing components on your YouTube channel if you have an issue with me your target each we're talking to a discussion there you know and it lets you to do you know with the weirdest thing with that so i can compare this to the accusations with my financial situation with the money being paid to the lawyer like to me the weirdest thing is people make up lies whether to put your sex life or in this case about legal and financial situation and people assume that I'm unwilling to discuss this stuff and with one of the ironies is at any point if Charles or any more even you wanted to have a conversation with me about my divorce I'm like I really am willing to talk to people about like the bars it put like it's pretty boring you know what I mean but he misrepresents you as this character in people claim like oh he's hiding the truth he's hiding what's really going on so no nobody wants to talk to me about it like you like you want to know about like you know I'm like right now we can again the middle river we're still are you a cheetah but like if anyone like anyone but including Charles the Charles had ever sat down with me and you know anything was like hey man like you know how are things going with your with your to divorce me I'm if anything I'm like slightly eager to talk about it you know and like if anyone want to talk to me and so again whether it was Jeff Nelson or Martin Lewis or Joe vegan it was like if you want to talk to me about the legal case with durianrider like we can really talk you know the only limits are like I can't give you my lawyers phone number well I couldn't well I give you promise to use it private like you want to bone em you can like you know like you know but like you know I mean I guess there's some limit you're not going to make harassing phone calls I'll aw yer is like but like to me you know those situations so that's also a weird element is just because the accusation is made people assume you have something to hide even if if you're not ice and so did he accuse you of anything specific sexual iselin did he say you were sleeping with your cousin or anything or what he's just like just you know said I was I probably [ __ ] grannies and stuff and you know this hey what's up [ __ ] you know you could nope obviously he watched the notepad content and I make it you know it yeah he kind of you know when will this guy is probably watching you know the most ridiculous anime porn if just watching gaming [ __ ] I like this [ __ ] you know cuz i made a response video and i basically I critiqued him and I said listen this is what you're saying about people this is what people are saying about the situation you know and he got really upset and I would see was like several of his you now broadcast I was the first person we discussed because I go obviously you know I did my job if this person is getting so upset about moon [ __ ] all you know a little last part wrong in montreal quebec you know so what are these for because again like you know I'm not instead of at all but like you know the videos you made and several other people in these kinds of videos kind of just asking what happened to the success of thousand dollars it's like well I paint the law firm I thought I was going to do it with money um you know it's interesting too because all that amping up the drama relies on asking your YouTube audience these questions and not asking me and many times so I did you know I wrote you saying well look if you want to know more with the legal case like we can talk about it I've done that too many up during writers followers but including like vegan Ava the vegan Ava's a little bit well known well you pull out that they look Ava like you know you're you're making this content you know depending on the stuff but you know you've only apparently you've only asked durianrider what the situation is and you know during mother lied during writer lies on such a long list of things so and like I can't like like you I feel like I can't even blame the rain rider at this point it's like you look at his audience and it's like when you know he's lied about eight different thing someone's in the same video why do you think the last two things are true right like I'm [ __ ] a whole gang of women in Quebec when i'm living in victoria how is that going to work in effect man look and I'm enrolled in classes at a university in Victoria so five days a week I think like of so many of the lies are not and again that's one of the reasons we're when people make this vague accusation that i was sleeping with a teenager in Chiang Mai I said no her name is Julia bore we have to work what is the active at the accusation and then suddenly it's so much less believable right if it's just some teenager maybe it's believable to know you know who she is nothing so let's talk about the actual activation but you know when you know we slide about all that stuff so why would it be credible what he says but yeah that's a weird element so like even cheetah she does for months he was just freestyling slander against people he just get on camera and really spontaneously makes stuff up I've seen him do it against me to see him do it against other people just off the top of his head is inventing this [ __ ] but it's not only it's not that it's not based on any kind of research it's not like even searched your website to see what on a porn you're into or something but like yeah but you know it's also refusal to listen to you it's a refusal to give you any any possibility of answering and it creates a drama out of absolutely nothing you know the next create the viewership and itself is this little this little pocket of attention and drama and I reached on controls method hey listen you know if you want to have a conversation you're up on the top on you now let's do a broadcasters have a discussion if you have an issue with me if you're going to make a [ __ ] claim like that dude like damn mannie's you know you know what I tried to be tactful I tried to be you know I didn't try to swear or try to be disrespectful you know I mean and I really recently try to focus predominantly even when you mention the videos i made about you other folks all right like some of the stuff I can't even like I just wrote them down completely you know what I mean you already sent me the link I just yeah you know and ya know for me like part of it is like really thinking about in terms of the future of the movement like I said whatever an hour ago you know I came out here to make friends and that's why I still feel positively about YouTube even though I I've suffered so much or they wanna say but like you know even if it's just the level of meeting people at a conference or at a party or a potluck or you know okay so when I go back to Canada and I go to Toronto and I'm eat vegan gains or something you know whatever the setting is for that mean in berlin and london in all these places they have real you know vegan meetups and uh you know Israel they're these places are these centers of vegan activist how are you going to face up to people if the whole theme is based on ratting out your friends about their sex lives or something you know I it's just funny and like it's weird because like the only things that have happened in my life that are like even a little bit scandalous I'm even eager to talk about you don't think YouTube I'm you know yeah so it's the weirdest thing so it's the weirdest thing where people are like one of the threats one of those people in the drama scene often phrase this stuff is you know if you have dirt if you have something hidden then it going to be exposed it's like I feel like I'm only on YouTube you know to expose the only dirt about the party in a pretty boring life you know what were my life you know I was in University it was a full-time university student then I was a full-time Chinese student you know like the hours of the day what I was doing not that scandalous you want the hidden security video cam footage of me sitting with the book you know put your writing out of private like what you know what is what is there to expose right yeah so you know what I think yeah that's a great that's a great point you know there's people are so I think the vegan seen in general I mean it's got those different factions here to me like you have like the educational people and I don't know how you feel about Emily and with the whole bite size but I first made for me I have a fan of work because I just find her content very appealing to a wider range of people just when she's very non-confrontational to certain people and obviously there's a whole thing going on with her and Aaron and universal and obviously Charles getting his you know wicking something that is probably nothing to do with him but there's different factions like there's the drama there's the education resource it's like there's so many different communities within vegan youtube yeah I'd be I sit on Facebook a couple out sorry sorry on on Twitter a couple hours ago I just started using Twitter I never use put her in the past cool hey khlo its let go it anyway you know I said on Twitter that you know um I think in your interactions with people on the internet there's a test you can ask yourself would I be saying this to them if we were just in a cafe it was a strange guy but I was getting doing a cafe you know again I also can be criticized for this would I have been such an [ __ ] to ryan from a PLT vegan in a cafe yes I I don't know you know any in a subtle way he was an [ __ ] to me to just he was cutting me off all the time you say no we're not going to talk about that he was cutting in that way and just shutting down the search I don't think he would have acted that way in the cafe but if he did maybe I woulda just walked out of the cafe because normally you know that's not really the way I conversation cafe go but you know uh I think that is a question asked but then I had another like whatever so 10 minutes later I made another statement said wait you know what maybe part of the problem is people in order today they're not used to talking about politics in a cafe at all but they don't have that experience they only know how to do this on the internet so that's why they've become like so separated and I really do think about that well what happens when one day you know me and vegan gains or me and vegan cheetah or any of these people when we're actually in the same cafe and I mean I guess you're going to see that in Chiang Mai too right I mean nobody means immediately like I may meet you one day in Canada but you know you're about to go to one of the crossroads of the world where you are going to meet other vegan face to face so to some extent whatever reputation you've got on YouTube you got to wear it right that's why you know I realize that you know it's not just sort of an immediate reaction you receive it's also sort of a long-term image you do promote meant for me personally like I do realize my impact on youtube and I'm trying to rectify that and put that into the most positive atmosphere that's why interactions like this like we're having a conversation in genuine I've actually really enjoyed this by the way there's a great conversation you know and so these people like talking to people that have always your leader said stuff about me or if I were to have something to say to someone I would change to their fake like I'm not scared to tell people things if I were to see Charles or if I were to see anyone I've had an issue with you know like Dom Bowers that I was the dullest youtuber on the planet and I actually love that and I you know I don't have any problems with these people like that a lot of people have a hard time understanding this is just youtube I mean this is not like real life is minus 10 degrees Celsius are right now in Montreal I'm taking my little puppy for a walk that's real life here and I think good I'm not allowed to say like for me it's even a step beyond that because all these people because they're vegan like I want them to win I want us to win as a group of vegans and even as individual only like even people who really slandered me and very childish like vegan Ava or whatever you know I'd like to see them doing well on their lives or even doing well on social media or whatever whatever the goals are you know what I mean so that that's also kind of a funny conflict but you know again keeping all the real i don't i don't see a lot of that from other people i know it trying to get stalking people and I mean like I really I mean more and more I said like it I would I just like another case study but it is more of a made a video where I asked my audience what they wanted to see you because I'm always trying to better myself the more like to interview converse with people and I think it's such an important thing you know it's one thing making a video but it's one thing actually talking to people here I mean actually having a conversation having you know it's just a good debate you know I mean just talking about certain subjects because I'm going at last on YouTube well I don't you'll see how this changes things mean for me the first time I had a dialogue video was actually with a guy named violent vegan he's not violent it's a joke name but you know it really changed the way people perceive me I can remember or comments i had on youtube wasn't insulting but there was a comment that said yeah i like about what CL ok but the only youtuber I really support its dom bauer because he's a normal person i I remember this one there was this really strange procession me that I was not a normal person and then it's only when people heard me in conversations that you start to chip away at that and I think I think you'll you'll have that too and like your behavior on camera it's not that it's so crazy but you know you're in a wooden crate on an exercise by a quarter you know it's a little strange but like for a lot of people this will probably so probably the first time that they've heard you being a normal person and you know they may be know you from which spawned syndrome or something so you know again I'm gonna stop recording now we can keep talking for a while but you know I hope this out you know closeness YouTube Justin positive for you and like I always say to people like again whether it's lance carbs strong or vegan gains something I say again again is I hope I still know you five years from now and that's you know ultimately ultimately for me that is about the future of the movement i banished yen