Anti-Simping Manifesto (Onlyfans, etc.)

but it doesn't take much imagination at
all for people to have this experience of simple for young men to be trained in this not voyeuristic role but this consumers role this pay to play model this paying for attention this paying for the right to send and receive messages this paying for escalating levels of dissimulated intimacy it's not just that it takes very little imagination to see how that's going to shape their sex lives there are ways of relating to gender roles dating marriage it's almost impossible to see how it could fail to impact their lives in those ways for years and years ago : K Torito his girlfriend is actually just completely just random he's not a person on stream he's not a person on YouTube it looks like biscuit [Music] nobody said it was easy oh it's such a shame for us to part nobody said it was easy oh it's so hard being Katarina sex I'm never gonna have sex [Music] [Music] give me five hundred bits I'll do the rest [Music] in part because millions of people around the world are cooped up in the middle of an epidemic at the moment there's been a broadening and deepening discourse about one website in particular and about the increasing encroachment of pornography into the daily lives of all of us in the decadent West that website is only fans only fans doesn't do anything new but it brings together elements that are already familiar from patreon Instagram and outright pornography and puts them together in one package that seems to be now remarkably culturally appealing and in some cases takes up grey areas in between pornography fanservice and outright prostitution sex work of various kinds and only fans has emerged taking on this role in a period when new laws in the United States of America actually shut down many websites that formerly notoriously handled sec work Craigslist no longer has a personal section no longer has men seeking women or women seeking men and if you can remember the old days just to think about two years ago there used to be a long list of all the possible gender combinations men seeking women but also like couples seeking men couples to its long list of acronyms people click on well all that's gone that's all thing of the past and the new prominence of only fans has partly emerged to fill that void so there are a lot of conversations going on in kitchens and dining rooms and living rooms including our own about the extent to which this may be impacts the psychology ethics and culture of a new generation of young women who grew up with at least this option of selling images of themselves and they could just be images of themselves in a bikini or images themselves in their underwear of course all the way over to not just hardcore pornography but prostitution sex work of various kinds a lot of reflection focus on the women what I wanted to attention you in this video is that there's a need really philosophically to examine also the impacts on the men now I think that some of the most important problems and questions in our society first emerge as comedy like I think if you look at the history of gay rights a lot of it first emerged as a joke like there really was a time when the idea of two men getting married was a laughing matter there was a time when having a transsexual person run for office be elected as mayor was a laughing matter there's a time when it was considered a great radical breakthrough that the TV show soap had an openly gay lead character it was a comedy but you know within just a few decades those issues that were addressed with so much discomfort mmm awkward laughter whether by stand-up comedians or TV and movies those became you know serious political platform issues that fundamentally transform daily life for people around the world the jokes that are being made now about simple I think in the same way there's something really important and really powerful here for us to examine keep this in perspective I am over 40 years old and when I was a kid there was hysteria about the psychological ethical impacts of young men encountering nudity and sexual images just in the format of a printed book now think about the relationship I could have or anyone could have to an inert image on a printed page there's no way that can ever be as evocative there's no way that can ever be as emotionally impactful as sending a voice message to someone who's the object of your desire and then having them record and send a voice message back hits that's what only fans offers of course snapchat and numerous other web sites offered that before and people were for sending up patreon and having people pay to join their patreon and then give them a special snapchat and then at this communication I admit it's not new but maybe the examination of it the cultural recognition of how important is it kind of isn't it well people sit back and say whoa this is something very different from what existed before with just an image on the page people have the illusion of a personal relationship with of personal interaction with these celebrities or stars or you know women present it in sex doctors and so on they have the illusion and for a high enough price sometimes maybe it's not just an illusion it's a reality whereas they they are simply playing it up for for the audience we are completely benign and here because we we enjoy and we think it's fun we also I went to Disney together off stream don't need you doing that Wilbur if we did stream it it would have been [ __ ] huge but we've heard more about spending time together than streaming it because we are friends smile yeah yeah Wilbur yeah Wow imagine being you guys the more competitive you are the higher you get plus you guys win cause castles game I'm gay too true okay it's different look if you pay enough money you get to talk to them for hours at a time on skype if you pay enough money you get to meet them for a dinner date if you pay enough money in some cases keeping all the way real you can have sex with them right and you will have to recognize the possibility of this can have them but powerful powerful impact on the imagination of young men who are the consumers for this the possibility can shape the way they perceive and feel the world probably more than the reality as much as we may joke about it therefore I really see in this kind of punchline about simple a sincere and important form of moral concern a guy like Carson aka call me Carson okay did he even know to what extent he was playing a game did he recognize to what extent he was paying someone to be his fake make-believe girlfriend and did he even have a clear concept of where fantasy stops and reality starts like it's funny because these debates they were had at a very insincere and phony way back when we were talking about like playboy magazine printed on paper by the way Playboy magazine which included like discussions of politics and literature or in interviews with you know business leaders like Lee Iacocca playboy magazine actually at a very unexpected effect for many teenagers who got a hold a bit like whoa there's a whole realm of kind of intellectual content stuffed into this if you just bought it for the nudity there's a whole concept really of what it is to be a sophisticated middle-aged man presented you in the pages playboy magazine which you're now not getting also that even said we kind of rehearsed this discourse at a time when technologically and through the relationship that pornography offered between the desiring consumer and the object of the desire it was quite insincere to be clear I would not say that it is impossible for a person to have a definite notion of their own gender role or sexuality on the basis of something they saw printed on a piece of paper whether that's an image or a story or political ideology that they read on a piece of every pieces of paper influenced us and partly because we choose those pieces of paper and then we pick them up and read them and we choose what we do with those ideas or notions they impart to us okay but there's a lot of work involved there all right it's much more than just a small leap of inference to go from looking at a naked picture on a piece of paper or reading a story or maybe reading the autobiography of someone you look up to which includes them discussing their sex lives in relation between the sexes you can take that information and mold it into your own ideologies for how you're gonna live now you're gonna treat women and so forth right but it doesn't take much imagination at all for people to have this experience of simple for young men to be trained in this not voyeuristic role but this consumers role this pay to play model this paying for attention this paying for the right to send and receive messages this paying for escalating levels of dissimulated intimacy it's not just that it takes very little imagination to see how that's going to shape their sex lives there are ways of relating to gender roles dating marriage it's almost impossible to see how it could fail to impact their lives and though for years and years to come the first time I really had to think about these issues in my own life was much much later than it would have been if I hadn't been doing humanitarian work in exotic far-off Cambodia and Laos during those years in my life email was important to me email was important part of my life but not the internet not Instagram not YouTube those things existed but I had no contact with them when I returned to the decadent West there was one very very good-looking young woman I started talking to and I have high standards in case you don't follow this channel I do have high standards and I started talking to her not because she was good-looking at all she was vegan I was vegan and she made one very coded statement on social media indicating that she had relapsed she had started using methamphetamine again and she was afraid she was going to ruin her education drop out of university that you know this was gonna derail her studies and I knew about her that she had a past some years earlier of using meth but had quit for a number of years she would clean for number of years so I started writing to her right away and I guess we talked via Skype if it wasn't Skype it was some other you know voice platform like that maybe maybe it was even old fashioned telephone now that I think about it but you know I got I got on the phone with her and again if you know this channel you probably know I'm very good at giving a highly motivating morality lecture to people maybe I'm even better at doing it one on one but I was really saying to her look every month that your university counts every week you know even during the holidays you know even your eating reading week if you screw this up you get back on these drugs you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life you can fill in the blank and she knew I had a wife now divorced I had a kid now in a legal custody battle and don't get here's officer like to but at that time I was with my wife and my child and I never presented myself as being in any way interested in her romantically nor did I present myself as being available and you know it meant a lot to me no surprise I mean she did appreciate it she got back in touch with me a couple weeks later as ever called and it seemed to me that she was expecting me to move forward with seducing her or trying to get in bed with her and she started talking to me in a manner that was completely banal and didn't reveal that she was trying to flirt with me or was expecting me to flirt with her in any way and that she quickly got very frustrated with me started swearing at me and I'll always remember she said she said to me don't you be [ __ ] coy with me very straight guys I don't I don't hear the word coy a lot definitely not from people under age 50 that conversation ended with her blocking me and never speeding me again and I talked about it with my wife and I said to her look when I was a kid there were good-looking girls who got a job working at a bar as a bartender and they got kind of corrupted by having people flatter than him all the time having people flirt with them all the time and you know if you were a good-looking girl even working at Starbucks it can be like that I was a good-looking guy working at Starbucks didn't corrupt me but yeah a lot of women flirted with me and a lot of women you know it was part of it was a weird part of the job so definitely as a young person any kind of service in Israel but I said to Martha time I said look I think what we're seeing here is the way the internet raises that up many many levels and it brings it into people's lives much more intimately and much more powerfully and a platform like only fans it's paying people to flirt in an extensive and deep way with their fans they're being paid to send text messages back and forth they're being paid to make the time itself on skype and it's protracted overtime and of course there there may or may not be nude photos involved or fully clothed photos involved whatever but obviously the nature of that interaction and flirting it's both deeper than working as a bartender or working at Starbucks and and it's broader in the sense that it gives the woman as the object of desire it gives her the impression that it's a much broader part of humanity that acts this way all right like if you work at Starbucks it's only one guy out of a hundred that tries to flirt with you or trustee on you and if you open a profile on only fans or many of these websites it seems like it's a hundred out of a hundred men that are trying to sleep with you and so much so that this woman she she didn't reveal to me anything but her background that way I don't know I mean it could have just been that on MySpace she was used to having a myspace page and she was a really good-looking woman and on MySpace or Facebook or Instagram and she was getting this coming she was so used to a hundred out of a hundred guys trying to seduce her that after she had this somewhat intense personal experience with me she was furious with me because I was not trying to seduce her so yeah that in my own autobiography was this weird kind of wake up call and since then not a whole lot of times but two three four times I have seen that again and again where you meet young women who have just become accustomed to men always playing that role and now increasingly of course they're going to get accustomed to men paying to play that role but this isn't just changing the behavior of the women we're also training a new generation of men I think with even more terrible consequences that are frankly even harder to understand