Hitomi Mochizuki is Still On Drugs: Real Sobriety, Fake Vegans.

i literally felt like i was becoming enlightened i felt like a glimmer of what buddha and what these ascended masters must feel i started to see all these beautiful visions of me literally in candyland that was one of my favorite board games when i was younger and it was like a three-dimensional reality where i was in the game candy land and i was frolicking through this tall sweet grass and they were literally like big heart-shaped lollipops and i kept getting these visions that were like all pastel colored and so femme and like i was in candy land and i was like why is this happening i want to speak to the lived experiences of black indigenous people of color which is a category that i fall under as well i've heard other people say that they've had ancient past lifetimes in these different groups and sometimes that's been a little bit triggering for me because bypoc individuals have experienced racism and profiling and just so much heaviness in this world in the united states because of their identity and background and so it can feel a little bit like it just feels triggering sometimes when a white person is like oh yeah i was black in a past lifetime and so i i empathize it's just kind of like it's just a hard pill to swallow i debated putting this online at all and i actually wasn't going to i wanted to keep this experience so sacred and close to my heart and not really up for judgment or debate by an outside perspective and i just wanted to be fully stabilized from within not needing anything external and part of me thought that plant medicines can become a vice of some sort like that's your only way to connect with spirit and source and i didn't want that to be the case for me so all these years i've spent healing my depression just trying to use the my physical body the vehicle of my breath and it's been so healing but i felt like there were aspects of my subconscious and ancestral wounds and trauma that i wasn't able to tap into just through my embodiment practices and through my yoga practice and so that's what really started to call me to the medicine was wanting to look at these things on a deeper level that i actually don't have access to with my normal state of mind i've never actually seen what my soul looks like but i was starting to see that in the medicine journey just the grandeur of it having this ancient soul like so many of us on this planet and then i started to feel immense feelings of sadness for my younger self so i started to go into my childhood home all of my childhood experiences where i was getting hurt and i started to feel immensely sad i just was crying and sobbing so much and it felt like i was revisiting every moment where my childhood innocence was lost and i was just grieving it was like i was having a funeral for my past self and i was just sobbing so much my eyes started to come down from the medicine i feel like after four hours and so i asked for another cup and then this second aspect of my journey was just revealing so much love i felt the highest capacity of forgiveness i have ever felt and what was coming through on the medicine is that love is the highest vibrational state that you can experience so i was just holding myself and feeling how enchanting it felt to be in this body and i was like rubbing my nipples a little bit and just feeling so curious to explore myself without the intense trauma of my childhood and sexual trauma i've experienced and there were literally flowers and gardens growing in between my in my womb and it was like my body was this beautiful lush garden and it wasn't painted at all and it was just so heavenly and and luscious and i put my hands on the outside of my yoni over my underwear i was just feeling my body for what felt like the first time ever feeling like this body is my own this body is mine to explore this body is heavenly and i have never felt this level of acceptance and reclamation of my physical self my yoni just felt so beautiful and incredible to touch and like this wondrous thing that i've always had access to and i almost felt like whoa i can't believe i haven't really greeted you in this way before i love you so much it can feel like something that is so selfish even when i talk about it or hear people talk about self-love constantly as all that they do i'm just like so you literally just spend your whole day having bubble baths and painting and that's your service to the world and there has been this voice of like skepticism and annoyance within me and i can claim that truth within myself that sometimes i'm just like rolling my eyes when all people are doing is talking about self-love but at this point it started to shiver my teeth were literally chattering and i was wearing socks a knit cardigan a hat mind you like it's probably 60 70 degrees and i was so cold and so mentally i was like where am i right now in time and two people down there is a dear brother who is a native hawaiian and he was cursing out loud just like talking to his demons out loud and so everyone in the tent being so sensitive on the medicine is hearing him like curse and yell at his demons and scream and throw up and receive the energy and then i started to feel complete non-attachment complete love in my body for everything i felt so at peace with if anyone wants to hate me or love me i felt so unattached to any relation in my life staying or leaving i felt so connected to source and to god and unified within my own plane of trust in the universe i literally felt like i was becoming enlightened i felt like a glimmer of what buddha and what these ascended masters must feel [Music] if you're vegan or if you're even a little bit vegetarian or if you just spend time on youtube channels such as my own and at tomi's you've probably gotten tired of hearing about how we treat animals so much worse than we treat human beings it's really interesting to pay close attention to those cultural exceptions to the rule those cases in which we treat ourselves far worse than animals cases in which our expectations of human beings strangely are so much lower than our expectations for animals if you see a cat that's high on catnip or if you see a dog that's been given hallucinogenic drugs by some coarse crude people at a party just for their own amusement just to see what'll happen if this dog gets out just see what happened if the dog hallucinates if you see a cat or a dog bumping its head into a wall pouncing at imaginary mice that just aren't there don't you regard it as pathetic don't you regard it as something cruel and inhumane that a human being has done to an animal when you read about experiments in laboratories whether those are done to dogs or cats or apes or what have you with these same hallucinogenic drugs do you imagine that the animals in those laboratories are becoming spiritually enlightened beings and leaders in their own species do you think oh isn't it wonderful that in a laboratory somewhere there is a dog or a cat or a monkey that's being given these mind-altering drugs so that we can dissect their corpse afterwards and evaluate exactly how much brain damage we do to ourselves with this same habit now i've been all around the world people it's not uncommon to be on a beach where there are monkeys and there are tourists and where the monkeys develop a taste for the alcohol and where monkeys sometimes the amusement sometimes the shock and horror of the tourists the monkeys run down from the trees to grab a bottle of beer to grab a bottle of whiskey or vodka don't you feel sorry for the monkeys don't you feel a sort of contempt for humanity when you see these animals inflicting brain damage on themselves and having no real comprehension of what it is they're doing or why these sad creatures that find enjoyment in poisoning themselves in intoxication tell me would you find it more or less pathetic if those monkeys were being given lsd hallucinogenic mushrooms would you find it more or less pathetic if any of those monkeys in their altered state of mind came to the realization that they had an immortal soul or that they were the chosen emissary of god hitomi concludes her video by saying that she's going to begin a new period of filmmaking she promises us that from now on she's gonna make videos talking about first nation spirituality the religions indigenous to north america and south america that existed here prior to the conquest by europeans it told me i have a really simple challenge for you i want you to ask exactly the same questions of those religions that you would ask of christianity judaism and islam i know it's going to be hard for you i want you to ask in those religions did they have slavery did they have torture did they capture their enemies in war and torture them to death in those religions what was the status of women what was the relationship of leaders to followers of despotism as opposed to democracy these same questions that we use to embarrass christians and muslims in our time and quite rightly in drawing their attention to the extent to which they are continuing to propound an ancient brutal religion based on slavery torture and forms of political authoritarianism that are simply not acceptable in the world today hitomi you've asked those tough questions about christianity judaism and islam and because of the answers you found you rejected those religions but when it came to buddhism you just wouldn't ask when it came to hinduism you just wouldn't ask and now as you're beginning a new chapter on your spiritual journey i'm challenging you do you want this next chapter also to be about the blind leading the blind or do you want to know do you want in brief to go on living in candyland or do you want to join us in historical reality as it continues to unfold [Applause] [Music]