Incels: the Problem is Jealousy, Not Celibacy.
10 May 2018 [link youtube]
https://www.patreon.com/a_bas_le_ciel
Youtube Automatic Transcription
hey guys busted out the special shirt
for this video sarcastic me let never I made you a little bit of joking around this video but it's a very sincere video about a very serious topic I'm talking about in cells people living in involuntary celibacy and specifically those who hate and resent this state of involuntary celibacy recently in Canada we had one young man who apparently to all news reports and based on a Facebook post he was part of this subculture and this system of sentiments took him so far in a sense of resentment against society that he carried out what I think could be fairly called a terrorist attack against random people on the street people who he reviled as Chad's and Stacey's disparaging terms that people within the N cell subculture used for those who succeed within the set of rules that they perceive our society as as a game being played by every single video I've seen on this topic whether it was from mainstream broadcast news sitting down an interviewing professional psychologist over - made for YouTube pundits people like sargon of akkad every single video and everything a single source have seen on the subject I think profoundly and utterly misses the point and that's why I'm making this video speaking to you now the problem within cells is not celibacy it's jealousy and jealousy is a problem that cannot be solved by the suggestions these people make they're completely well-intentioned but they are in no way salient to the problem we're discussing here suggestions such as get a better haircut go to the gym make yourself presentable learn to be nice to women learn learn to play by the rules that these men revile you can get a haircut you can go to the gym you can learn how to cook you can do all kinds of things to make yourself more appealing you can sign up for and do humanitarian work something I've talked about on this channel before you can get all kinds of life experience that'll make you a more interesting conversationalist when you talk to women or will actually lead you to meet women who have common interests those things will lead to you have a girlfriend but they'll never lead to you having his girlfriend that girlfriend and the pathology that separates out the lunatic fringe of the in cells from the vast majority of them the vast majority of them are just people who want to come online and blow off steam who want to share with like-minded people in a in a safe space there's that term we want to share with life like-minded people their sense of frustration and disappointment with their lives the lunatic fringe are precisely the ones like Elliot Rodger who are obsessively jealous and jealousy as a treat is something that can never be satisfied think through what this suggestion would really entail you tell these guys to go to the gym I I go to the gym I'm not the best looking guy in my gym I ever will be I'm totally at peace with that the guys your address dressing this advice to here are precisely the guys who are deeply disturbed about the fact that when they go to the gym they feel ugly they go to the gym they see beautiful women and they see beautiful women who are there with a boyfriend who is probably physically superior to them probably lifts more weight than them and so on this is precisely the trigger for their condition that they're struggling against and that they're on the Internet I know trying to get help with I guess or negative way just demonstrating how demented invented [ __ ] they're about it the the the process of going to the gym for precisely this personality type as I say they would I think feel is humiliating and this also gives you an insight into what I'm saying it doesn't matter even if these guys go on to have a girlfriend then when they go to the gym they're going to be presented with exactly the chad's and stacey's of this world exactly the people whom they they feel frankly oppressed by I think to use their language I think they would use language that strong they feel oppressed by the fact that this society has winners and losers some of them are chosen economically some of them are chosen genetically some they were chosen by other factors that they rebel against but effort several of them use the actual phrasing of genetic superiority and genetic inferiority they feel that they're an inferior position and that everything in society is biased against them and that also nobody has any sympathy for them and the gym is not a place where unequal people are made equal it's a place where our inequalities are very much on display and are very much exacerbated the strong get stronger so to speak and the the gaps between people hopefully get wider and indeed were they be presented with the reality of women they they find unattainable this type of personality type and this was actually in that the so called manifesto of Elliot Rodger at at Great Lengths he talked about the fact that from childhood before he'd been through puberty he experienced extreme jealousy he had jealousy over his friends when they spent time with a different friend he had jealousy over toys and then when he got older what drove him to madness and ultimately murder was jealousy for the other people he saw on campus the other people he saw around Los Angeles who were having what he perceived to be wonderful sex lives wonderful romantic lives and that this was something he felt he was being excluded from unfairly right but it is jealousy not celibacy that's the problem here and I think it is jealousy in the strictest sense that the psychologists are never going to treat now this comes back to two points I've discussed in this channel in different videos in totally different contexts the first is but two points that are to me kind of significant issues in practical philosophy philosophy as it's applied to your everyday life point one I say again and again on this channel that sympathy is most significant as an analytical tool like I don't think we should feel sympathy for other people just for the sake of feeling sympathy sympathy actually leads us to have kind of useful insights useful an hour into other people's lives now I'm not a jealous character I actually do not feel jealousy at all but let's say I go to the gym and I chitchat with a couple and the man is a bodybuilder and the female member of the couple is a professional model okay so her hair and makeup is immaculate and she's an extremely good physical condition there are many reasons why I do not feel jealousy but one one kind of natural limit for me is that I look at that couple and sympathetically really this is sympathy leading you into an office I can look at that guy and I can see the kind of life he has to lead to live with this woman as his girlfriend hi Michael Chris just made a video on my channel was uploaded minutes ago I think oh you know she's reading ancient Greek philosophy alright that's not what his girlfriend is doing with this time I meet this guy I meet his girlfriend I look at her I look at him I can imagine what their bathroom looks like I can imagine just how many hours of the day and how many hundreds of dollars a month are going into the collection of makeup and hair products that are filling his bathroom I think my girlfriend is one brush I mean mom is not full of that kind of that kind of stuff and my life is not cluttered up with that kind of stuff because this is the kind of girlfriend I have um you know again this kind of simple childlike and very very sharp jealousy it's not sympathetically putting yourself into the position of what it would be like if that was your life if those are the responsibilities you took on and I also see that guy he doesn't have a choice to sit down and read ancient Greek philosophy either as many hours as he's putting into the gym if his girlfriend is a professional model or aspires to be a model she may be putting in even more and then there's a whole world of you know entertainers and models and auditions that he's going to be drawn into and he's gonna be sympathetically sitting there and talking to her when she comes back from a bad audition when she comes back from a day of photoshoots there's this opens the door to a whole world of problems and experiences I don't want to have you I mentioned offhand sorry this is on the spectrum well it's it's quite different many ways when I first met my ex-wife she was uh she was working as a jazz singer not as a full-time job but as a kind of part-time job and she had a certain level of success and she was actually tempted to drop out of her PhD to do that full time we were just getting started the right ship her and I and and I had to ask her seriously look do you really want to spend your time hanging around bars waiting for your chance to go onstage and sing the same song over and over again I was remember I said smoky bars and she said every single jazz club she ever sang and was was non-smoking so these the kinds of details the motive date I think of a jazz club or a blues club as a place full of cigarette smoke in in the 21st century they're not you know for me so she and I went on to get married and then we went on to get divorced but already you can imagine if you want to be the boyfriend of a successful jazz singer you're gonna spend a lot of time hanging out in jazz clubs and lounges and hearing with that and living that life so sympathy as an analytical tool and it doesn't matter so I'm just using one example is a couple you meet at the gym as a couple you meet in the University campus whatever it is there are many many reasons for me why I don't experience jealousy but I think if you are a psychologist sitting down with someone like this type of extreme insel character I think one of the things you could try to talk through with them is what I would call whole life cycle analysis is to talk about what these people's whole lives are like what is it really that you envy or want to emulate here and then to some extent talking that through and even drawing it a flowchart for it I think these guys are gonna realize that maybe there are just some bits and pieces they Envy but there's actually a lot there that they find unenviable or indeed based on their own you know internet divorce there are elements of it they find despicable and laughable you know as as we all do this is the stuff ultimately that that's stand-up comedy is made of them there are many stand-up comics who said they dreamed all their lives of dating you know models and singers wouldn't have you and then once they do this becomes part of their their act another point of made in a very very different context on this channel I know one regular viewers will remember it I've said that you know men but it's women too but maybe men especially need to escape in this mentality of assigning women numbers a scale of one to ten is very common of thinking that women have a kind of hierarchical value that one girl is a 10 and another girl is is a seven and someone now there are many reasons for this but I'm here just talking about in terms of this site it's psychology of the of the man of the male gaze the man who's looking at these women and thinking about them this way part of my counter-argument is no every single woman is either a ten or a zero because every single woman either interests you enough that you're willing to embarrass yourself you're willing to endanger whatever situation is you've got going on you want to mess up your life and you know what she is a boyfriend you're maybe gonna offend her and a Fender boyfriend by trying to spark or I should try to initiate a relationship and of course we have that mentality the vast majority of women no matter how attractive or no matter how interesting fall into the zero category right now again there are a couple of reasons for me saying this one is this massively cleans up massively simplifies your life and the way you perceive and interact with others like you know if you go to the gym and someone's really attractive what can't you just be happy for them why can't you just look at the person say wow they're putting in a lot of effort and maybe the opposite maybe you see someone the gym for putting it up no effort they look right anyway why can't you just be happy for them why do you put them on a numbered scale where you're gonna feel bad about who you are or your girlfriend or you know where you where you put yourself on this on this ranking in terms of both how you see yourself and the other there's something profoundly psychologically unhealthy there but above all else it also puts you in the position of a passive viewer as if real life is a TV show you're evaluating care and you're not if I meet someone at the gym and I think they're let's say I think they're really driving I also think they're really intelligent guess what the fact that I'm not willing to endanger my relationship with my girlfriend or their relation with their boyfriend or I'm not willing to embarrass myself whatever all those factors the fact that we don't have anything in common or whatever the interesting factors are for why I wouldn't say break the polite silence that we all live with as strangers in a crowded city all of that means that there are zero because nothing else matters the relationships you have with other people create the value that they have in your life if you don't have a meaningful relationship with them if you don't try to create a meaningful connection with them then there is zero and conversely if there is some reason why you do create a meaningful relations hearing at an orphanage you know I don't know you clean up garbage on the side of the highway together as part of your court-ordered rehabilitation after you committed a crime what if it's forgotten common the fact that you reach out to them and start to create a meaningful relationship means there are ten even if they're conventionally unattractive even if when you introduce them to your brother or your mom or something elope why did you pick her why did you guys start up a relationship and you'll have an answer you'll have an answer for why this person means so much to you or why it is you're in love with them or why you at least tolerate their company despite the fact that they're conventionally unattractive so I think those are two things that everyone from the professional psychologists to the the TV pundits can address but the fundamental point here is one the fast majority these guys in insole discussion groups just blowing off steam they're just looking for a sympathetic audience for them to complain about their lives which is a huge function of what the internet exists sadly in 2018 but of the people who aren't the lunatic fringe of the people who are a danger to themselves or others why they want to subtract themselves from society or who want to take revenge on society the fundamental problem there is not celibacy and the fundamental problem there is not going to be solved by get a haircut get a clean shirt go to the gym the fundamental problem is jealousy and I would say white Western english-speaking culture does an incredibly poor job of addressing jealousy whether that's because of our judeo-christian heritage where it used to be addressed a totally different way inside the church and now the framework of church family says collapsed whether that's because we're in a consumerist society that values a certain kind of superficial competition that some people don't take seriously but other people take way too seriously whatever those factors are I think that all of us whether we're dealing with our friends or making YouTube videos or we're working as psychologists or ultimately even police men I think we have to start to understand the ways in which a lot of aberrant behavior are not so much rooted in social problems such as inequalities of physical beauty strength inequalities of money but they're rooted in jealousy which is a psychological fact but not something exists in the pulpal world jealousy attached to those inequalities that's the weak point in the chain where we can't address it where we can make a difference
for this video sarcastic me let never I made you a little bit of joking around this video but it's a very sincere video about a very serious topic I'm talking about in cells people living in involuntary celibacy and specifically those who hate and resent this state of involuntary celibacy recently in Canada we had one young man who apparently to all news reports and based on a Facebook post he was part of this subculture and this system of sentiments took him so far in a sense of resentment against society that he carried out what I think could be fairly called a terrorist attack against random people on the street people who he reviled as Chad's and Stacey's disparaging terms that people within the N cell subculture used for those who succeed within the set of rules that they perceive our society as as a game being played by every single video I've seen on this topic whether it was from mainstream broadcast news sitting down an interviewing professional psychologist over - made for YouTube pundits people like sargon of akkad every single video and everything a single source have seen on the subject I think profoundly and utterly misses the point and that's why I'm making this video speaking to you now the problem within cells is not celibacy it's jealousy and jealousy is a problem that cannot be solved by the suggestions these people make they're completely well-intentioned but they are in no way salient to the problem we're discussing here suggestions such as get a better haircut go to the gym make yourself presentable learn to be nice to women learn learn to play by the rules that these men revile you can get a haircut you can go to the gym you can learn how to cook you can do all kinds of things to make yourself more appealing you can sign up for and do humanitarian work something I've talked about on this channel before you can get all kinds of life experience that'll make you a more interesting conversationalist when you talk to women or will actually lead you to meet women who have common interests those things will lead to you have a girlfriend but they'll never lead to you having his girlfriend that girlfriend and the pathology that separates out the lunatic fringe of the in cells from the vast majority of them the vast majority of them are just people who want to come online and blow off steam who want to share with like-minded people in a in a safe space there's that term we want to share with life like-minded people their sense of frustration and disappointment with their lives the lunatic fringe are precisely the ones like Elliot Rodger who are obsessively jealous and jealousy as a treat is something that can never be satisfied think through what this suggestion would really entail you tell these guys to go to the gym I I go to the gym I'm not the best looking guy in my gym I ever will be I'm totally at peace with that the guys your address dressing this advice to here are precisely the guys who are deeply disturbed about the fact that when they go to the gym they feel ugly they go to the gym they see beautiful women and they see beautiful women who are there with a boyfriend who is probably physically superior to them probably lifts more weight than them and so on this is precisely the trigger for their condition that they're struggling against and that they're on the Internet I know trying to get help with I guess or negative way just demonstrating how demented invented [ __ ] they're about it the the the process of going to the gym for precisely this personality type as I say they would I think feel is humiliating and this also gives you an insight into what I'm saying it doesn't matter even if these guys go on to have a girlfriend then when they go to the gym they're going to be presented with exactly the chad's and stacey's of this world exactly the people whom they they feel frankly oppressed by I think to use their language I think they would use language that strong they feel oppressed by the fact that this society has winners and losers some of them are chosen economically some of them are chosen genetically some they were chosen by other factors that they rebel against but effort several of them use the actual phrasing of genetic superiority and genetic inferiority they feel that they're an inferior position and that everything in society is biased against them and that also nobody has any sympathy for them and the gym is not a place where unequal people are made equal it's a place where our inequalities are very much on display and are very much exacerbated the strong get stronger so to speak and the the gaps between people hopefully get wider and indeed were they be presented with the reality of women they they find unattainable this type of personality type and this was actually in that the so called manifesto of Elliot Rodger at at Great Lengths he talked about the fact that from childhood before he'd been through puberty he experienced extreme jealousy he had jealousy over his friends when they spent time with a different friend he had jealousy over toys and then when he got older what drove him to madness and ultimately murder was jealousy for the other people he saw on campus the other people he saw around Los Angeles who were having what he perceived to be wonderful sex lives wonderful romantic lives and that this was something he felt he was being excluded from unfairly right but it is jealousy not celibacy that's the problem here and I think it is jealousy in the strictest sense that the psychologists are never going to treat now this comes back to two points I've discussed in this channel in different videos in totally different contexts the first is but two points that are to me kind of significant issues in practical philosophy philosophy as it's applied to your everyday life point one I say again and again on this channel that sympathy is most significant as an analytical tool like I don't think we should feel sympathy for other people just for the sake of feeling sympathy sympathy actually leads us to have kind of useful insights useful an hour into other people's lives now I'm not a jealous character I actually do not feel jealousy at all but let's say I go to the gym and I chitchat with a couple and the man is a bodybuilder and the female member of the couple is a professional model okay so her hair and makeup is immaculate and she's an extremely good physical condition there are many reasons why I do not feel jealousy but one one kind of natural limit for me is that I look at that couple and sympathetically really this is sympathy leading you into an office I can look at that guy and I can see the kind of life he has to lead to live with this woman as his girlfriend hi Michael Chris just made a video on my channel was uploaded minutes ago I think oh you know she's reading ancient Greek philosophy alright that's not what his girlfriend is doing with this time I meet this guy I meet his girlfriend I look at her I look at him I can imagine what their bathroom looks like I can imagine just how many hours of the day and how many hundreds of dollars a month are going into the collection of makeup and hair products that are filling his bathroom I think my girlfriend is one brush I mean mom is not full of that kind of that kind of stuff and my life is not cluttered up with that kind of stuff because this is the kind of girlfriend I have um you know again this kind of simple childlike and very very sharp jealousy it's not sympathetically putting yourself into the position of what it would be like if that was your life if those are the responsibilities you took on and I also see that guy he doesn't have a choice to sit down and read ancient Greek philosophy either as many hours as he's putting into the gym if his girlfriend is a professional model or aspires to be a model she may be putting in even more and then there's a whole world of you know entertainers and models and auditions that he's going to be drawn into and he's gonna be sympathetically sitting there and talking to her when she comes back from a bad audition when she comes back from a day of photoshoots there's this opens the door to a whole world of problems and experiences I don't want to have you I mentioned offhand sorry this is on the spectrum well it's it's quite different many ways when I first met my ex-wife she was uh she was working as a jazz singer not as a full-time job but as a kind of part-time job and she had a certain level of success and she was actually tempted to drop out of her PhD to do that full time we were just getting started the right ship her and I and and I had to ask her seriously look do you really want to spend your time hanging around bars waiting for your chance to go onstage and sing the same song over and over again I was remember I said smoky bars and she said every single jazz club she ever sang and was was non-smoking so these the kinds of details the motive date I think of a jazz club or a blues club as a place full of cigarette smoke in in the 21st century they're not you know for me so she and I went on to get married and then we went on to get divorced but already you can imagine if you want to be the boyfriend of a successful jazz singer you're gonna spend a lot of time hanging out in jazz clubs and lounges and hearing with that and living that life so sympathy as an analytical tool and it doesn't matter so I'm just using one example is a couple you meet at the gym as a couple you meet in the University campus whatever it is there are many many reasons for me why I don't experience jealousy but I think if you are a psychologist sitting down with someone like this type of extreme insel character I think one of the things you could try to talk through with them is what I would call whole life cycle analysis is to talk about what these people's whole lives are like what is it really that you envy or want to emulate here and then to some extent talking that through and even drawing it a flowchart for it I think these guys are gonna realize that maybe there are just some bits and pieces they Envy but there's actually a lot there that they find unenviable or indeed based on their own you know internet divorce there are elements of it they find despicable and laughable you know as as we all do this is the stuff ultimately that that's stand-up comedy is made of them there are many stand-up comics who said they dreamed all their lives of dating you know models and singers wouldn't have you and then once they do this becomes part of their their act another point of made in a very very different context on this channel I know one regular viewers will remember it I've said that you know men but it's women too but maybe men especially need to escape in this mentality of assigning women numbers a scale of one to ten is very common of thinking that women have a kind of hierarchical value that one girl is a 10 and another girl is is a seven and someone now there are many reasons for this but I'm here just talking about in terms of this site it's psychology of the of the man of the male gaze the man who's looking at these women and thinking about them this way part of my counter-argument is no every single woman is either a ten or a zero because every single woman either interests you enough that you're willing to embarrass yourself you're willing to endanger whatever situation is you've got going on you want to mess up your life and you know what she is a boyfriend you're maybe gonna offend her and a Fender boyfriend by trying to spark or I should try to initiate a relationship and of course we have that mentality the vast majority of women no matter how attractive or no matter how interesting fall into the zero category right now again there are a couple of reasons for me saying this one is this massively cleans up massively simplifies your life and the way you perceive and interact with others like you know if you go to the gym and someone's really attractive what can't you just be happy for them why can't you just look at the person say wow they're putting in a lot of effort and maybe the opposite maybe you see someone the gym for putting it up no effort they look right anyway why can't you just be happy for them why do you put them on a numbered scale where you're gonna feel bad about who you are or your girlfriend or you know where you where you put yourself on this on this ranking in terms of both how you see yourself and the other there's something profoundly psychologically unhealthy there but above all else it also puts you in the position of a passive viewer as if real life is a TV show you're evaluating care and you're not if I meet someone at the gym and I think they're let's say I think they're really driving I also think they're really intelligent guess what the fact that I'm not willing to endanger my relationship with my girlfriend or their relation with their boyfriend or I'm not willing to embarrass myself whatever all those factors the fact that we don't have anything in common or whatever the interesting factors are for why I wouldn't say break the polite silence that we all live with as strangers in a crowded city all of that means that there are zero because nothing else matters the relationships you have with other people create the value that they have in your life if you don't have a meaningful relationship with them if you don't try to create a meaningful connection with them then there is zero and conversely if there is some reason why you do create a meaningful relations hearing at an orphanage you know I don't know you clean up garbage on the side of the highway together as part of your court-ordered rehabilitation after you committed a crime what if it's forgotten common the fact that you reach out to them and start to create a meaningful relationship means there are ten even if they're conventionally unattractive even if when you introduce them to your brother or your mom or something elope why did you pick her why did you guys start up a relationship and you'll have an answer you'll have an answer for why this person means so much to you or why it is you're in love with them or why you at least tolerate their company despite the fact that they're conventionally unattractive so I think those are two things that everyone from the professional psychologists to the the TV pundits can address but the fundamental point here is one the fast majority these guys in insole discussion groups just blowing off steam they're just looking for a sympathetic audience for them to complain about their lives which is a huge function of what the internet exists sadly in 2018 but of the people who aren't the lunatic fringe of the people who are a danger to themselves or others why they want to subtract themselves from society or who want to take revenge on society the fundamental problem there is not celibacy and the fundamental problem there is not going to be solved by get a haircut get a clean shirt go to the gym the fundamental problem is jealousy and I would say white Western english-speaking culture does an incredibly poor job of addressing jealousy whether that's because of our judeo-christian heritage where it used to be addressed a totally different way inside the church and now the framework of church family says collapsed whether that's because we're in a consumerist society that values a certain kind of superficial competition that some people don't take seriously but other people take way too seriously whatever those factors are I think that all of us whether we're dealing with our friends or making YouTube videos or we're working as psychologists or ultimately even police men I think we have to start to understand the ways in which a lot of aberrant behavior are not so much rooted in social problems such as inequalities of physical beauty strength inequalities of money but they're rooted in jealousy which is a psychological fact but not something exists in the pulpal world jealousy attached to those inequalities that's the weak point in the chain where we can't address it where we can make a difference