Sonia Elsie: Hiring an Instagram Model as your Nanny / Au Pair.

if you stick with this video for 45
seconds I think you're going to see that it's not a gossip video my purpose here is not to gossip about basically the fact that Sonia Elise lost her job and got kicked out of her home or kicked out of her apartment mikeycal here Sonia Elise because that makes more sensitive her name is actually Sonia LC so are you sure to Sonia look for me this scandal is it even a scandal this peculiar series of events brings up a bunch of topics that really matter to me in my life and I think they do matter to a lot of other young parents and they matter a lot of other vegans I'm 38 years old I have a four-year-old daughter during the first year of my daughter's life and before my daughter was born and before my daughter was conceived because it was totally planned you know wasn't a surprise I did talk to my wife now my ex-wife about some of these issues we had seen this pattern play out you know my ex-wife and I our minds were blown by what seemed againi we'd seen it with Australian couples British couples Canadian couples and we've seen it in places like Thailand and Laos and China this really weird pattern of people who want to hire a nanny want to hire a live-in au-pair someone to clean up the house a little bit and help take care of a newborn baby or child and they irrationally hire someone who is as young as possible and as beautiful as beautiful as possible when that just doesn't qualify them for the job in any way and doesn't foretell a positive dynamic for the husband and wife and how the whole family unit is going to work now look I don't think it's as shallow as wanting to hire beautiful people for a job all kinds of jobs when you're trying to hire a waitress or you're trying to hire a lawyer you may be influenced by the fact that they're good-looking when I was hiring a lawyer in my divorce frankly I remember was funny because you you'd scroll through the list of lawyers you know you could send an email to try to set up an arrangement and normally what you just get was their their name and a photo of their face and a lot of them were chiffon cocktail clicking there are seat it's a ridiculous am I going to hire a lawyer because it's a good-looking woman you know I'm not going to make the decision on this basis terrible but consciously or unconsciously a lot of people do make decisions that way but beauty is only one factor here and the beauty is problematic because it can trigger feelings of jealousy on the part of the mother and it can trigger other kinds of feelings on the part of the man in the family we're all human when I made it a stone let's get real you're all living in a house together sleeping irregular hours taking care of a newborn baby nobody's getting a full night's sleep in those circumstances doesn't matter if you have 1000 pairs running out of you but look beauty is only one element I think another much more important element is the issue of Authority and this is one that's so much worse for vegans it's really hard for a 31 year old woman let's say the mother of the baby is 31 years old you got a new baby are you going to bring in a woman who's inexperienced authoritative grandmother figure a woman who has already raised maybe 4 babies maybe she's done it 4 or 5 times already has a ton of experience and can tell you what to do who's in a position to dispute or debate the decisions you make in your own house for the woman whether she's conscious of it or not that is a really strong reason why she might want to hire someone as young as possible and as inexperienced as possible whether or not they're as beautiful as possible I think that's a really fundamental driving factor and veganism makes it worse we're talking about a grandmother figure who's going to tell you as a matter of fact that you have to feed your baby veal when I was in France standard baby food was veal veal in a little jar does it fed to newborn babies you know do you want to have that conversation with your employee you know assuming you're paying for this service or in this case it was just kind of room and board in exchange for help it's really tough it's really really really hard to deal with so as a general pattern I think I see one couple after another really kind of putting their relationship in peril and hiring someone for the wrong reasons and in this case the Sonja lease I'm not casting any shade of not gossiping but I think it is pretty clear that just as she was hired for the wrong reasons she was also inevitably fired for the wrong reasons it is very very easy for women to get jealous of other women even when there's no flirtation when there's no cheating going on when there's no no sexual activity going on most women can tell on a matter of instinct if their husband is affectionate towards them but their husband's being affection towards them because they're turned on by another woman and that can just be as your husband had a conversation with a female co-worker at the office or your husband went to a strip club and came back all these things are kind of normal in terms of the remit of middle-aged experience so a lot of women feel they can tell that and then there are women who think they can tell that who think they know that managers do know when they're wrong you know where they're doing that as a leak of influence or as a matter of incident so yeah bringing someone like that into your home and hiring them in the first place not because they're experienced that because they're people taking on that job but basically for any other reason is a formula for disaster and it's amazing to me like I think the whole nation of France is obsessed with idea when I was in France either when I was in England again very very different attitudes towards the nanny and so on but I think it is really one of these very strange crossroads in our culture where the Democratic modern values we have of equality and openness and cooperation are incompatible with an almost futile set of values of the household household servants household slave and how do you manage incongruous contrast between what remains you know a role that's unchanged since feudalism and a set of social attitudes that have changed so rapidly that for example in my own family with no money of old it would have been impossible for me to employ my own grandmother let alone someone else's grandmother to help take care of my kids because my values and my assumptions my assumptions about hygiene nutrition how the house should be run I don't believe my baby drops a toy on the floor I do not pick up that toy and give it to the baby because the baby will put the toy in their mouth right if my baby drops toy on the floor I wash it soap and water and I wash my hands and only after its dried again I give back the baby I will not give a dirty toy to a baby and that's probably not going to be your grandmother's attitude or anyone from that generation those ideas about hygiene and hand-washing and beyond that how do you expect someone whether there are 65 year old latency of 65 year old American or a 42 year old from the Philippines you know a lot of these people or from Mexico a lot of these people are hiring their opener nannies from from third-world countries because of the difference in the wages and so on the wages are simply worth more to someone who owns a house back in the Philippines or is making down payments on a house of the Philippines instead of making down payments on a house in Los Angeles so yeah it's a case where stark social inequality inequality of the most intimate kind inequality that in the past was dealt with through feudal relations of master to servant is so hard for us to cope with because today we don't want people in our homes whom we order around like a servant but in the other hand most women are not really having they're not really comfortable with having someone in the house who can debate what is best for the child as an equal