Riley Reid Can't Get a Boyfriend.

will i ever settle down i hope so
do i feel sad and lonely yeah as a cat owner kim formed a gathering of fellow single women with animal companions that's a topic for a video i would consider myself very successful in my career choice i absolutely love my job but i'm not married i'm not engaged i'm not even close i'm a single lady no ring on this finger so i'm 31 years old i have my phd in history getting a phd in history means nothing i can't speak for universities in japan or switzerland or whatever but like in the english-speaking world let me tell you getting a phd in history means absolutely nothing if you google around for studies on this pretty much all of them are dealing with the economic aspect but really it's every other part of the story that's more worth reflecting on and more worth worrying about you're going to meet people in this life who have phds in the history of india and know nothing about india people have phds in the history of cambodia and know nothing about cambodia and the fundamental problem is that these are people who have nothing in common except that they were willing to spend 100 000 for a library card and the opportunity to write an essay on any topic of their choosing that essay was evaluated by people who had no expertise in the same area and who were never working against a checklist they never had any criteria for what would be required to call yourself a phd in history there's no particular confidence there's no particular skill there's no particular knowledge attached to a phd in history and thus in more ways than one not just about money spent and money earned it is worthless so i'm 31 years old i have my phd in history i'm not quite sure why it hasn't worked out for me yet obviously my educational and career choices have forced me to move around a little bit in the past few years but even still i'm fun i'm charming i'm not completely hideous i'm keeping my eyes and my mind and my heart open and i have tried online dating it's okay that i'm not married yet i'm independent i'm intelligent i'm accomplished i'm just missing one piece of my puzzle in korea of the 7.8 million women in their 30s and 40s 17.176 percent or 1.38 million are single as a cat owner kim formed a gathering of fellow single women with animal companions he said that a lot of guys are afraid of you because you are wealthier than most of them and most guys don't want to date you because they are not comfortable with your job i've had some trouble dating guys because i'm financially successful i dated a guy for over two years the main struggle of our relationship was that i do porn it wasn't until we broke up that he told me that sometimes he didn't want to kiss me moving forward after that i've dealt with it again and again dating is hard in general for everyone being a sex worker adds to it so the stories we tell others on the internet are they more or less honest than the stories we tell ourselves you've just heard riley read stating that she blames her financial success for why men don't want to date her she's just too wealthy she's just too successful and that this somehow scares men away here's a contrast her most recent statement on instagram sent to me by the way by a fan and long time viewer of the channel quote never have i ever had a boyfriend who was proud of my job why why do you think that is huh quote i've had two normal boyfriends in my adult life normal being they don't do porn both of which ended in ultimatum porn or them i always chose porn i've struggled with that choice though wondering if i've made the right decision if it were a male porn star telling you that women didn't want to marry him or that his girlfriend's parents didn't accept him because he was just too wealthy he was just too successful if it were a male porn star telling you that his girlfriends or wives had told him that he had to choose between commitment to them and continuing to sleep with other women while filming porn and he proudly boldly chose to continue cheating on his wives and girlfriends by recording porn would we would we celebrate that how would we regard that for that i mean you know probably just have a down-to-earth attitude like look bro you you made your choice you told this woman that she means less to you than porn and then you know you having the option to sleep with other women when you're working in that industry you know you you made your choices and now you have to live with the consequences isn't it isn't it strange how all of this would seem profoundly different in various subtle ways if it were a man instead of a woman i worry that maybe i lost my chance at love and happiness knowing i carry the weight of shame around i find it hard to believe that someday someone will accept me and love me for all of me but i can hope so this is me hoping that one day someone will be proud to call me theirs the photographs i've chosen to put on screen right now are to remind you that riley reed is a normal looking person if i had met her at the grocery store or at the library or at the gym i wouldn't even remember meeting her she wouldn't stand out as an extraordinarily good looking person you can see her here with her makeup and without and you know even if she were an extraordinarily beautiful person i think there'd be something very strange to reflect on here in terms of the expectations that she places on others and implicitly the expectations she expects others to place on herself i'm not quite sure why it hasn't worked out for me yet um last things first you get to choose what kind of person you're gonna be you don't get to decide who loves you for it you also don't get to decide who hates you for it you can choose to live a meaningful life and a morally exemplary life and you can decide that on that basis you deserve you merit the love and respect of a good person but guess what [Laughter] all you get to choose all you get to control is what kind of person you are gonna be you get to choose the rules that you play the game by but you don't get to choose anyone else's rules how would riley read feel if she were to fall in love with a male prostitute and let's try to keep this rigorously symmetrical how would she feel if her boyfriend and let's say it's a man she wants to marry if her boyfriend were notorious for performing the same sex acts on the internet that she is notorious for if she was introducing this man to her own parents and she knows that her own parents have seen this guy performing the same sex as the internet that she herself has performed that she has made her career would she really be in a position to complain that her parents or anyone else's parents were being unreasonable and prejudicial and how they respond to this man this potential suitor for their daughters and in marriage can she really not see how others judge her even if or especially if this is the first thing this is the only thing that they know about her that when she goes out to dinner at a restaurant this is what people know her for this is what people recognize her for and she has to live with that and if she falls in love with a man with the same reputation for performing the same sex acts she will have to live with that too such a sex act it doesn't just occupy one hour of the day all 24 hours of the day with time come to revolve around your chosen profession your chosen career a man who had devoted himself to the path of being a male prostitute would no doubt be a man who cares a great deal about his physical appearance a man who engages in a great deal of preening that might not be the kind of man she wants to live with those might not be the priorities in life she's comfortable committing to and indeed i think if we were to ask riley about this face-to-face person to person she would probably say something appropriately woke something suitably politically correct for the year 2020 she'd probably say if you want to be a male prostitute good for you you do you all power to you however that's just not what i personally happen to be looking for in a husband or in a boyfriend just it just happens that that's not compatible with the set of moral and intellectual qualities that she's looking for in a man and she should be able to accept by the same token that there will be men who judge her in much the same way now it used to be that you could search around within youtube and find quite a few interesting reflections from women about the incel subculture i was just searching through youtube and all those videos have disappeared the evolving censorship within youtube has made him inaccessible or impossible to find whereas i don't know about four years ago i remember you could find a lot of really interesting material on that topic which i wanted to include uh clips of here and i mean the underlying tragedy really is you don't get to choose who falls in love with you i mean you you don't there are all these women who were coming forward and making youtube videos a few years ago saying that they had all these advantages in life but nevertheless their love lives were unrewarding bereft never took them where they wanted to go they never had the outcomes in life that they felt they deserved you can do everything imaginable to make yourself lovable but it isn't in your power to choose to be loved i wish i could sit here and tell you that the most important thing is to lead a meaningful life and that if you focus on leading a meaningful life this will lead to you making connections with others who are by their own criteria with their own priorities also engaged in the work of leading a meaningful life but of course life's full of tragedies it's arbitrary and unfair and random i met so many people back when i was doing scholarship on ancient buddhism i met so many people who devoted themselves to various provinces of research and humanitarian work directly or indirectly connected to buddhism so some of these people who done humanitarian work in cambodia some in sri lanka some with refugees from those countries who had settled in california whatever um i met people who were by their own criteria living rich rewarding meaningful lives even if some of those criteria were derived from the religion of buddhism a religion that i'm not a member of and then i'm a bit of a critic of by the way um but whether or not those people ever made even one friend on this earth let alone if they had the opportunity to meet someone of the opposite gender and the right age group and where there's some chemistry and mutual attraction to settle down the odds are stacked against you it's incredibly improbable that you will ever ever meet someone who appreciates your notion of what it is to lead a meaningful life whether that is getting a phd in history or devoting yourself to the fine art of pornographic filmmaking it's hard it's improbable it's unlikely and that's why the vast majority of people simply sell out they'll settle for anyone who is the right gender the right age group and who has that basis of physical attraction mutual chemistry whatever you want to say even if they have none of those other things in common and that as we all know is a formula for a bad marriage and for perpetual misery people reach out for happiness and in doing so they reach too far and make themselves miserable for years for decades at a time you don't get to choose who loves you you get to choose what kind of person you're going to be what kind of person you're going to become and then you find out the hard way who's with you and who's against you you don't get to choose your friends you certainly don't get to choose your enemies i mean really people like to disrespect my crew but the fact is that you know my name and i don't know you