How I learned Pali (Theravada Buddhism) and my Positive Experiences in the Field

own experience learning the ancient language,
called Pali. It's especially important for who is interested in Buddhist philosophy. to many living languages in India, in Sri etc.). This is a video that, obviously, people Why am I finally making it today? Well, funny ended. The end of my level 1 Japanese university up at about 6:00 AM this morning, I wrote I've got a beard is because I'm exhausted, candle at both ends. That's the first part learn Pali?" Like any other language, it is the truth is, if I don't make a video when because if I were well-rested, I would be I look exhausted, and in most of my new videos exhausted, because that's when I set aside some of my thoughts and memories with y'all. recognize him), that's Edward Snowden, looking a Buddha statue in the background, but no, In terms of what gets covered in this video: my positive experiences with learning Pali That's something I was, in as much as anyone years, and I do have some positive experiences I was made aware of the fact that almost all for people learning Pali. Not necessarily and difficulties you're going to encounter, gives a lot of emphasis to the sense of frustration, that I encountered and that I expect others video, to start with, I'm actually going to secondly I'm going to talk about the central Pali?", "How do you teach yourself Pali?". Pali because there are very few places in to you. You're expected to be an autodidact etc. And then Part 3: I'm going to give some a Pali scholar today. So this is going to to a small number of people, admittedly. If you're seriously interested in why so few is so little new, original research coming you're considering this as an option for yourself, A small number of people who know me personally not. Arright. The positive side of my experience want to sound like I'm boasting, and one of are people on the internet and in real life, me by claiming that I was never given access by claiming that people never worked with with me. A lot of people, especially before would basically invent an imaginary character then attack that character, or invent reasons my failures or my obstacles or why I couldn't what they were attacking me for failing to at all. And, of course, that's partly because but it is very realistic. I am not someone owned amethysts. I've never done Yoga. I don't hippie involved in Buddhism in any way. I'm a real, sincere interest in a lot of important and the opium trade, and I'm sincerely interested interested in the modern, contemporary, ongoing real things. I want to deal with reality all of the people in the field, and that's why, of those people say bad things about me. I I really don't resent it. As I'm about to it that didn't create a problem for me in institutions and opportunities that those I don't want. They're things I don't want any sense of loss that I wasn't invited to or that I would have just quietly avoided is, these people who kind of put in the effort hate is different from fear: there are people me, those are two different things), those world I had the red carpet rolled out for What does it mean to be a legit Pali scholar? I worked very hard on this language, and it you can really have a conversation in; I had Pali in Romanized letters, I don't mean using I could read and write Pali in the Burmese the tradition from Sri Lanka), Thai, Lao, minority scripts, because I was interested the word orthography, what were the positive legit Pali scholar? Just by teaching myself a website, developing good handwriting, developing (again, I'm reading reading contemporary studies, all kinds of stuff), what doors did that open not some meditation retreat at a hippie institution I was looking for. What was rewarding for I got to see stone inscriptions, in person, to visit archives, and I don't just mean academic for me (all over the world, in Asia, in Europe, academic archives), I've seen archives inside museums and so on, too. I've had access to hands-on. That mattered to me. Those were the people who respected me. Some of them and who respected my work (however you want experts and devoted their lives to this stuff at archives; some of the most important people I met those people at the archives. Some of years and years, others were people who met monastery, y'know, not just average Buddhist I knew there was some kind of scholarly or I wanted to connect with, and y'know, the at my work, they asked about my background, and they unlock the door to whatever it is. a long list of institutions. Again, I don't way on the internet; people say, "Oh, nobody guy." And again, this is before [I was on] this very scary character. [They had] never I made, the practical resources, they found boring. Yeah, my work on Pali grammar, pretty a PhD, I've had offers, plural, to get PhDs famous universities like Stanford in the United of Google [is that] I did deliver this one I had stayed longer at Cambridge I would have leave, I went to Cambodia, so I didn't stay a lecture at S.O.A.S. in London. When I first that it was really Pali that was the language something else, not Mongolian, y'know, I made field who were still alive that I'd like to with. And much more quickly than I ever thought people. Really, when I was still a beginner, list, and I had to stop and reflect, "Wow, spoken to in person, or I've had significant time." There were people who were not on that meeting. Again, so, the positive part of my to share with you, whoever is viewing this), some kind of legit Pali scholar, where you can be great hand-writing, it can be that you just got back from looking at stone inscriptions, your sincerity, your hard work, your dedication, if you can show that, and you're not an eccentric, not a cult leader, because many people in got that, my experience is, many many institutions me extremely well. And I mean everywhere: these being elite, closed, Buddhist monastic couple of days and on the basis of my reputation one small [web]site talking about how to teach of that website and maybe one or two causal the most senior, scholarly monks at the Marble and I'm not going to say it's hard for anyone to see the architecture, can arrange to have that institution is not easy. And it was easy in Sri Lanka, I thanked the people involved in the same Buddhist monastery that used to the United States I met Bhikkhu Bodhi, I talked I forget it was 5 days or what, it was a seven Bodhi about his life, about studying Pali, Bhikkhu Bodhi is as famous as anyone gets in that sense, I had a wonderful experience, university degree is in Political Science. And, as mentioned, that's one of the things in the field. I remember I read someone's a small enough country but it had a long period This was a PhD thesis about the Southernmost as "a magical kingdom", as a wonderful place, when I look at the history of that same kingdom, the elephant trade. Yeah, there were rice to do with capturing slaves and capturing on the contrary, I devoted years of my life ancient as well as modern, as well as colonial whether I'm looking at Buddhism in its strictest I don't have those rose-colored glasses on. and all, wars and all, hypocrisies and all. in some of my other videos, one of the biggest is pretending that hell isn't in the Pali positive reaction; I've had a lot of rewards myself Pali. Now, to give one example of that, retired), Richard Gombrich is absolutely one people in the Western study of Theravada Buddhism. trying to meet, honestly. I liked his first books, I'm a critic of some of his work, I'm a lecture in Bangkok and I went to this lecture. positive side here, there are a lot of negative the whole conference demonstrated many of the study of Theravada Buddhism in the 21st he gave an excellent lecture. When the other was sitting to one side (he was on stage, won't name who this is (a senior professor a lecture talking about Pali manuscripts, to challenge her, I did not say anything to came, I asked a question, and from the framing of the question, it was obvious that I actually but, it was pretty obvious that she did not. that was, ultimately, just summarizing other having a very shrill voice, freaking out on know who I was), "Well, obviously, you know perhaps you can answer your own question". Of course, she's scowling, and very negative, life (neither by e-mail nor face-to-face), her or challenge her. But the one person there, Richard Gombrich brightens up and looks at to him], "Who is this guy? This guy knows aspect of it. A lot of people hate and fear are two different things). I think they hate fear him for the right reasons. If you're a fraud. And, in a sense, in a really low-key the professor who became angry at me] at that he immediately recognized that I was not just experience, who had done the hard work, studying out in the field. He invited me to dinner night, y'know, the conference ended relatively late hours of the night, so we talked for ended, and then he went to his hotel room we talked for hours that night. Later, I met this lecture and said very flattering things to talk about the positive things) ironically Buddhist Studies hated me and said bad things So because this professor likes me, other he's on Gombrich's side, those two are together". chatting with Gombrich, saying, "Oh, yeah, research I've been doing, this is the type just standing there in the hallway, the other and graduate students, a couple of PhD students, in silence, in invidious silence, y'know, And Gombrich, of course, he's a very self-confident a somewhat beatific and yet challenging smile, you even going to try to talk to me?" He was over and talk to him: he's the leading figure was about. At that conference he's the most person, [and] nobody wants to talk to him look, why do I have the guts? Why did I have unlike most people who come out of the British Sorry, one digression leads to another, but rewarding aspects of what studying Pali is about your ability, your accomplishments, if you taught yourself, be honest about that, British in general are not, and that's what or not you have a PhD, whatever your academic a very passionate Sri Lankan guy (who knew Buddhism), we had this conversation about state of the literature, and he found me to he was very interested in what I had to say. to teach yourself Pali?" Now because I was hard, I was studying while I was on the bus, and this area of studies, [so] I had it in I could show it to him, and this guy, he's a knowledgeable guy, he rapidly leafs through this is much too introductory; based on this than this by now." And my reply, in that moment, in the eye and said, "No, actually, I'm on 24 pages exceedingly well." Don't be a fraud: about something and you're a beginner, tell a beginner. When you get to be more intermediate, skills are and so on. And part of the reward way that's suitable to your level, and, hey, day and age, I get hatred on the internet, get plenty of hatred on the internet, too. that you can win, and you're also going to part of the game. And, look, there are wonderful I just mentioned, I started off with that didn't exist it would have been very hard have just met them once in person, when they to be in Laos, [or] these other places I was paths with them again. E-mail allowed you you meet people who introduce you to other side of studying Pali. If you do the hard with yourself and you're honest with other as a totally self-made scholar, and you're to start a cult, all kinds of institutions that don't open doors for you, the people for them, a lot of the time they have something I've talked to other people who were reasonably about their experience, they went to see a clear that this person, the visitor, knew the whole mood changes and doors get closed, in an academic setting, several times I went it became clear what I had accomplished and funny ways when you're talking to a professor), with me any more. I remember one university, of Buddhist Studies), all of the professors expertise (the specialists on ancient Chinese Korean Buddhism, whatever their field was), languages and so on, met with me, and they happy to talk to me, they offered to publish student, y'know, as I say, they kind of rolled the one professor at that same university to any e-mails from me, was the one professor And I sympathize, to some extent, but probably he looked at the materials I'd sent and he to his authority. That, or he may also have meeting me. That's also part of the game. this discussion. I'm glad I did part one, read from me on the internet is very negative, to walk, how little there is waiting for you problems you're going to encounter on the I had no teacher for this language. I met of Buddhist monks, nobody helped me learn except for, I guess, negative advice, telling one is bad," that kind of steering-down-the-road. regret was that when I started working on line of reasoning for this, it was partly methods of teaching yourself Sanskrit and and practiced these languages within India best way for me to be able to study Pali 24/7 to pick up that vocabulary and then to be comb and take apart the grammar and so on. not a terrible idea, but I regret it. I wasted… effort because I was working on the poetry. when you're getting started ideally is a chrestomathy, narrative. I mean, I can remember, so I'd then I opened the Pali canon, I was reading for whatever philosophical reason, and [there] where it said something like, "And then the the road that led to the river, and there it's kind of ridiculous to say, but I felt the way the language is used in the poetry, and so lucid, and, y'know, this was such a language that is the type of material (from reading. Naturally, if you're interested in start with reading dense philosophical passages, You can't do that with French or Dutch or start with dense philosophical passages or need to work on is that boring, practical, all going to be 3rd person, past tense, "He work… the reason why most people… well, me on the internet know me because I made hard to make educational materials available can get that, if you don't already know, if ways. Within Google Books I digitized some it'll be permanently available, you can download that I don't update any more, you can also for years. The textbooks I made, I'm aware, e-mails from Buddhist monks, and I've seen resources I made to help people learn Pali in Hong Kong, in Myanmar, in Taiwan, around predominantly used by people who speak English, indication that somebody in Russia is using me, whoever the Russians are. Obviously, some available for people who are serious about communication in the language, in some ways you really need to work on when you're first prepared for you, you're going to have to prepare your own selections, find passages in that direct, narrative way, not philosophy, other things I'm known for is the emphasis to the writing systems. You need to be able edition. So, right off the bat, develop the Cambodian script, in Sinhalese script (the to have open in front of you more than one Pali canon, of whatever Pali text you happen reading between them. What does that win you? about this with Richard Gombrich, I remember I mean, some of the professors, I remember and, y'know, the questions he was asking me, theory) teaching Pali at a graduate level, have taught in a 101 course, in a Pali 101 questions of where the books come from, which know to do any research or just to study the that he would ask me those questions, and one of the other problems with learning Pali, a lot of your time. They may give you an irrelevant in a program of Religious Studies you may and the history of Protestantism, and theoretical It's not a complete waste of time, but it work of becoming a Pali scholar. And this have PhDs related to Pali don't have any of that I managed to get in just my first few jungle" (the jungle in quotation marks)… when I was in North-Western Laos… but, they Lanka doing hands-on work. Nor, in their own books open hitting the language heavily. They're harassment within a Western academic program. the mood-swings of their supervisor, [of] that, again, lectures that may be related may address theoretical questions that are about Foucault or whatever the current, trendy doing the work. And they're also not really in the real praxis of reading and writing in an academic situation or not, whether you're people watching this may be Buddhist monks do better than this Canadian guy"), 99% of autodidact. I met, face-to-face, some of the of the old education system in Pali. That's on [Pali grammatical textbooks], on the history a number of interesting subjects that may one Buddhist monk, he was an older guy, I he was about 8 years old, he studied with in Sri Lanka, who was then a monk of more one of the last links to the old ways from learn Pali. It's gone. When you meet Buddhist grew up in a Buddhist society, if they have 90 years of age, I guarantee you they learned textbooks they use, even if they're not directly to find if you look into the educational materials, years (I was looking at "What are the textbooks in Sri Lanka, in Laos, in Cambodia, in Western pedagogy, I was not interested in theoretical how it's learned and taught and used in language-acquisiton, conducted, all of those questions), everyone scholar or who claims to be will have learned look at my published work, so far I have only I was mostly talking about colonialism. And, Asia was ugly and brutal and killed people, temples of their works-of-art, and piled up That brutality is real. What I've never talked didn't last long enough) [is that] there are I found a lot of obscure publications produced excitement when Western technologies and Buddhist When, under the British Empire, in Myanmar, schools being set up (there was just one in system of examinations, of textbooks, of tests the way Ancient Greek was taught in Europe And of course Europeans also brought the technology of palm-leaf manuscripts) having ink on paper so far, focuses almost totally on the devastating, the positive side was that a lot of local to publish that book I was always wanting with the technology of book-publishing. And center. For example, in Myanmar, if you look some of the first Pali textbooks that were exercises, these kinds of things, modeled coming in and writing an exam, the way we would prove they had learned the language. respond to this as oppression, because at vibrant, many people said, "Wow, this is great, to learn, or a new way to prove what you've much more on authoritarian relationships between I won't get into it, if I digress into that, of those European scholars, those European methods of pedagogy, the positive aspect of off a revival of scholarly interest in Pali, Now the bad news is, this was part of a colonial local political autonomy, devastated the local things in the culture, [there are] many bad of an interesting exception to the rule that Bouddhique, the French Buddhist Institute relatively extensively (in French, but also out of envy, looking at what the Royal Asiatic and they said, "Well, we have to put a respectable controls places like Cambodia and Laos." And, tradition when I was living in Cambodia and for me and treated me so well [were] the people that's the (literally) the French school of In Vientiane, in Laos, they were wonderful me access to all kinds of scholarly resources, the people in the same institution in Cambodia it is what it is. Some of those guys talked y'know, in general, they were not interested of course, reflected the fact that the particular as opposed to Sanskrit, as opposed to being other subjects. But I got to see the end of colonies of Southeast Asia. The work of learning language and in some ways it is uniquely difficult, motivation, incredible stamina, and incredible involved in Pali you have no idea how many "Yeah, I'm into this, I'm 100% committed to going to become a scholar in this field", years later or what-have-you, they're gone, with why. [It is an] enormous sacrifice of if you compare it to learning how to play is a lot easier, the rewards, socially, even people aren't going to hate you for it. People but people will also hate you, because you're threat to certain political assumptions. Sometimes a guy in Thailand (and I don't want to shout in Bangkok, and he had connections to the he wasn't a professor, he was just present I was out in the remote North-West of Thailand, I spoke to a woman who didn't seem to have Buddhism, and she said to me passionately, in Bangkok, and he's a real scholar of Buddhism," to give the guy), "He's a real scholar of conferences in Bangkok, all the Thai scholars because that guy, that foreigner (he's a white stuff, and the professors in the Thai universities, they're doing." That might be a slight exaggeration, shocked me was that I was standing on the of nowhere, and I was talking to somebody I believe had no university diploma at all, this "gossip", or whatever you want to say. as someone who can offer a dissenting opinion religion, that's a threat that is really felt hierarchical institutions, in Thailand as you, well, Thailand [is] a relatively easy-going, to Japan. You want to talk about orthodoxy, academic conferences where nobody's allowed back that says, "You dared to criticize this to publish this". You're dealing with the of these different cultures, and Sri Lanka… ways it's better than the kind of silence Asia, but in Sri Lanka people will scream with you often enough, too. I say this, and It shouldn't be by any reasonable standards. Latin, nothing I have to say would be considered a Pali scholar I openly identified as Buddhist. doesn't mean that I was uncritical of Buddhism. and women having unequal rights (I support democracy, I don't support ancient kingdoms. Buddhist, as someone who could make a positive I considered myself an advocate for the religion. was willing to discuss Buddhist Philosophy those years when I was a Pali scholar, I felt some of that stuff. You know, propound it Life is suffering. There is no soul. To me, they're still worth preaching and so on. And these countries have cultural problems and Laos, Thailand, Sri Lanka, Myanmar, they got glasses, I'm not interested in glorifying Compare them to Bangladesh. Compare them to in favor of Theravada Buddhist countries, In many ways I was well-suited to be a kind I wasn't in a position of hostility to this 3, why did I quit? If I put in all this time, if I put in all the hours to, as I mentioned, to not only read but write in the Burmese blah blah blah. [If] I put in all this time I remember I got on the phone with somebody, know if he's now finished his PhD, and he "Well, your work must be motivated by altruism." said, look, when I was working with a charity that charity's raison d'etre was to hand out Let's not mess around. Altruism exists in and Laos there is an orphanage to help babies by their own parents. It's run by Christians, missionaries. That's altruism. I used to talk leave this for Christian missionaries to do? you've got to organize a Buddhist alternative." Christians", "bad karma", "if those babies know because that's bad karma". This is the there in the field, this is what you deal two charities I mentioned as examples are a scholar? For me as an independent intellectual? out of Pali, out of Theravada Buddhism, out cultures, peoples, it's still not altruism. you want back is an intellectual reward, not reward is still tremendously important. And are not altruistic. If you take the time to a PhD to do that, if you're still a student, motivating you? It shouldn't be an animus shouldn't be to try to score points by showing it shouldn't be anything like that. If you're is because you want to be part of an intellectual to be involved in discussing those issues, You want to discuss them with other people the hard work to really learn Pali, to become to that same conference I described earlier time: why are you going there? It's not altruism. You're not going there on an ego trip, but an intellectual tradition of some kind. [It It doesn't have to be an intellectual tradition in ancient India. It can be a brand new intellectual issues with other people who care about them, other people whose opinion you respect. So I think if people are really honest with themselves, they would agree, they would say the same "What motivates you to do all this hard work say it is because they want to be part of engage with other people they respect, and with Pali, with Theravada Buddhism, after things I never dreamed I would do… Look, of waking up on the Mekong River. I never being this tremendously distant, exotic place these small wooden boats up and down the Mekong in his current location in the United States. roof where Bhikkhu Bodhi used to live, where Sri Lanka. I never thought I'd see any of I never thought I'd meet those people. I never artifacts I saw… wonderful. I'd done it question of an intellectual tradition, of you know, I've mentioned that within Western appreciated my work, and who were positive by name, I'll use that as the example. You can come here and get a PhD", and there are goes, blah blah blah, but the reality was would have been Tibetan specialists. Tibetan That's not my tradition. I don't want to be that. I don't hate Tibet, but look at a map, And, you know, there may be some wonderful Tibetan Politics, at Stanford or at other with that. You know, I've got to be honest years not just being in the game but seeing universities in person (not just reading about of reading, I wasn't just reading ancient literature that comes out, there aren't that to read, sadly. But, you know, I started at excellent library built up by A.K. Warder guys left behind their books. After getting admit to myself, there is no tradition today a tradition out of nothing. And I can't do Come back to Canada. Is there any way I can study modern Burmese in Canada? Is there any short: no. I could have ended on a positive of this video. So, if you want to cheer yourself and hear how wonderful my life was as a Pali things about it. With nothing but a backpack, everywhere, I did everything, I lived my dream. the reality of the tradition as it exists Is that a happy ending or a sad ending? Can't