You called her your daughter, Onision! 😱

people get accustomed to explaining the
morality in terms of what they believe in in a sense your morality is shaped just as much or more so but what you do not believe in what defines the relationship of parent to child do you really think that's decided by a document written in a government office that declares you the parent and declares the other person's real is that what really matters we all know people if most of us have known someone who was adopted one way or another maybe not legally maybe you know the actual parent went away to fight the war in Iraq or Afghanistan and they ended up being raised by the uncle and aunt there are all kinds of different arrangements that emerge spontaneously especially if you live in places like Cambodia it's where there's garfish runs the Cambodian scarf by the way where they go through war and poverty who is a parent and who is their child these are bonds that really matter profoundly and they're not always decided by a piece of paper from the government and they're definitely not always decided by say a religious ritual okay Sara came forward in an interview just the other day a lot of people missed this this fell between the cracks this wasn't really covered in the news because there's been so much news really genesee Sara came forward and said that when she was at family functions the extended family aunts and uncles and grandparents she was referred to as a nisshin's foster child they called her their daughter at those family gatherings and relatives people like aunts and uncles and grandparents I know relatives that level Keifer Christmas presents give her gifts when she came to family dinners they accepted her they recognized her they treated her as a kind of foster child or adopted daughter she also described the conflict when days after she turned 18 they made the transition within their own household from treating her as an adoptive daughter to treating her as a sexual partner or you might even say as a sister wife as a co wife of an isiand and that she struggled with and that she had some kind of confrontation with an SDN about look what are they now supposed to tell the aunts and uncles the grandparents the extended family when they go to Christmas dinners or Thanksgiving dinners when they go to family functions this guy that that shocked me that really did shock me and I'm an old man I'm over 40 years old I didn't think there was much that could really shock me in that way anymore you know what maybe it's not maybe it's not shocking to you because our morality is not just built on the things we do believe in it also reflects the things we don't believe in you know I don't believe that the relationship between man and wife is defined by a magic ritual I don't believe that there's a God in heaven who decides you know who gets to sleep with who who's married who's not okay I think most of the morality that really matters in our lives is contractual that we take on obligations with our intentions with our commitments with our words with our deeds sometimes yes with the signature on a piece of paper but very often the most important moral commitments we make are never really written out in a contract okay my first wife and I were still in the process of divorce legally okay my first wife and I long before we got legally married we've referred to ourselves as husband and wife she used the same last name as me long before the legal marriage she had an email account you know with the same last name as my last name not just in family settings but for example in the university setting you know where she finished her university degree that was the name she used on her you know in her graduation on her certificate or on her diploma and you know this is the name she used in her career in her publications she wrote and published articles she published at least one book using my name when we went to a cocktail party I introduced her to people as my wife and I was her husband before we were legally married later you know we did the paperwork we also got okay paperwork doesn't mean a lot to me it really doesn't okay when I took on that responsibility when I adopted that responsibly when I took on that Duty when I was committed that what this is a matter of duty and honor and fealty for me okay and then everyone else recognizes it right all the family relations and co-workers and other people at university okay that's real that's as real as that kind of connection gets because I see it's not really about what I believe in it's about what I don't believe it because I don't believe there is a God in heaven or a magical ritual or magical lustral waters that get sprinkled on you by a holy man in some Hindu and Buddhist traditions that's what it is you have magical water that you're blessed with to bless the living it was gonna think there are different traditions but I don't believe in any of that stuff so what's left what's left when you don't believe in anything else what you believe in is that contractual nature of morality of taking on the commitment and to me that's much more real and much more moving and much more important than the difference between being 16 years old and 17 years old the difference between 17 years old and 18 years old right all parties admit that initial starting sex with Sarah after she turned 18 okay so I'm gonna be devil's advocate for a second here okay because I said I think it's profoundly disturbing I think it's I think it's even evil that he crossed the line and had sex with someone whom he called his daughter even if it was only a verbal contract even if it was just something he said to her he said to his own mother he said to his extended family aunts and uncles and grandpa's you know and it's his wife's family even if it was merely a verbal contract without any paper right now I think it's incredibly a moral and disturbing that he had sex with the with the woman he called his daughter that he treated as his foster child okay and to me that has nothing to do with whether she's 17 years old versus 18 years old we had a scandal in Canada this was covered in all the newspapers so this is not rumor I've read about it the newspapers at Sony whoa okay we had a scandal in Canada or a professor lost his job and ruined his career because the professor had sex with a student the student was in her late 40s as I recall when they had sex and when the scandal broke she was in her 50s not a teenager not underage to say she's a fully grown woman is an understatement maybe you don't feel the same way about this idea okay maybe maybe some of you in the audience feel that if a professor has sex with a student is more than 40 years old that that's completely different from having sex with a student who's 21 years old okay I don't feel that way I disagree that's not how I see it okay because I see the morality that matters here as being contractual in nature okay the professor made a commitment a moral commitment that he was going to be the man who evaluated her exam he was going to be the man who evaluated her essays who read her essays and assigned a grade to them he was going to be the man who was going to take on the higher duty of helping her in theory as a student helping her find her way to a career okay there this is not an exhaustive list of the moral elements of the relationship of teacher to people professor to student okay these are some aspects okay the commitment he made does not change whether the student is 21 31 41 51 years old that's invariable right it's the same no matter what the age of the student is no sure if the student were 15 it's worse of course it's it's worse but I've got to tell you for me fundamentally the moral commitment we're talking about here this contractual morality right it's not about when exactly was your birthday like one exactly did you turn 18 that commitment is still there okay so when I look at an S seen in this here's here's the counter argument here the counter let's say there's a parallel universe let's say this is a secret door to a parallel universe you wonder what this in all my videos I can open this door walk through the portal into a parallel universe where there's another guy who looks just like me but he's got a goatee and is wearing a turtleneck sweater in the parallel universe let's say hypothetically a Nissen and Sarah never met they never saw each other on the internet they were complete strangers initia never adopted her and as he never said that she was his daughter they never they never had the relationship of a foster child the foster parent okay let's just say there's a parallel universe where none of that happened instead they lived their lives completely separately until one day after she was 18 years old and his parallel universe Sarah decided to exercise her legal rights and fly to Los Angeles California and get a job in the hardcore pornography industry and in this parallel universe hey guys you may not like it this is the this is legally and socially normal in America at 18 years old you can be a stripper you can appear in pornography you can join the army and shoot people in that all that stuff is happening with eighteen-year-olds as the protagonists and their own stories and let's say in this parallel universe and it scene had never met this girl they had no relationship and he also flew to California and signed up to work in the pornography industry he said he got tired of doing YouTube or maybe he felt his YouTube channel was slowly degenerating into pornography anyway and let's just say for both of them the one they happened to meet and have sex in the pornography industry let's say both of them had already slept with a hundred people that they met after they both they'd been in the industry for a while and for each of them each was for the other number 101 that's a parallel universe that could exist and right now there literally are 18 year olds in the hardcore porn history who've had sex with a hundred people right they give interviews you can look up the interviews it's okay that would be a completely different universe a completely different scenario in the same way that the University professor in theory in some parallel universe could have met this woman 47 years old it had no more relationship no obligation no duty no code of honor he was violating right the beat that'd be different he could have met her unwritten right and we would have to evaluate that differently what matters to me really fundamentally is not the age written on a piece of paper it's not you know the exact date when Sarah turned 18 all right I really think there's something profoundly important and at the same time profoundly morally disturbing about the nature of the commitment that's made here the moral contract that's made when you went out and told people in your own family according to Sarah you told people this is your daughter you accepted that responsibility that she would be like a daughter to you that she would be your foster child you ask your extended family to treat her and regard her as your foster show to me that's a bond and a commitment and a duty just as real as if I show up with my current girlfriend if me and my girlfriend go to family functions and if I tell those people that they should refer to us as man and wife as husband and wife that every one of the extended family should wear garters most that I'm taking on that Duty okay then what happens then what happens if my girlfriend gets pregnant after I've done that let's just say me and my girlfriend let's say for just one year we went around telling everyone we were we were married and everyone else is you know responding accordingly this is recognized in society they've stayed with you and then if my girlfriend gets pregnant then what I can't change my mind after that right you made this commitment you made this responsibility in every meaningful sense from my perspective if you tell people that if you make that verbal contract if you make that commitment if you adopt that responsibility you are man and wife because I don't really believe in the government paperwork and I don't really believe in the supernatural stuff the relationship with man and God or believing that the church or religion decides who's man or wife right precisely because of all things I don't believe in that's what makes this other this other kind of commitment this other kind of contract ultimately comes down to a sense of personal responsibility duty and honor all the more real okay I knew a couple I'm going to keep this real vague I knew a married couple who went to Cambodia and they found a pair of orphans so a brother and sister who had no parents in Cambodia and they started to raise this pair of orphans they started to refer to them as their own kids and they started but didn't complete the legal paperwork to adopt them to take them on in some capacity okay that couple they were white people who went to Cambodia they were both in very poor health I think they just didn't expect to have biological children due to their poor health keeping this vague then one day the man in the couple had a motorcycle accident it wasn't killed but you know it's bad motorcycle accident he had to go to a hospital and get treatment and complications of physiotherapy and you know he recovered with her so all of a sudden adopting those two kids was inconvenient and they just walked away like it was nothing I regard those people as the scum of the earth to me it's it's completely completely morally despicable because what you're saying is what you're saying is that those were only your kids when it was convenient for you you don't expect yourself to keep up that commitment you made to raise those children as your own if you have a motorcycle accident and what reciprocally if that's your son if that's your daughter don't you expect them to be kind and caring towards you when you're recovering from the motorcycle accident I think those kids probably would have been probably it would have been an opportunity for you guys to really get a lot closer Cambodian is not an easy language to learn by the way maybe speak Cambodian together everyday like if you're gonna be lying on the couch for six months or something getting over a motorcycle I think that could be a great bonding time for you and those kids and they remember for the rest of their lives that was when they really had all this quality time with you when you were laid up an accident okay how would you expect those kids to treat you when you had a motorcycle accident after after you started calling them your children okay I just wanna say it's not that I believe that words are magical here okay it's exactly that I don't believe anything is magical that there there is as a result in terms of what remains in this world for us this unbelievable weighty significance yes to taking on a contract even if it's only a verbal contract a Nisshin if you said that girl is your daughter and Kai I've seen you do it I've seen Lanie on camera saying it so Kai I know you did it I know he did it on the Internet and according to Sarah you did it face to face in person with your extended family you said that was your foster child that they should treat her as your adoptive daughter but apparently your word your commitment means nothing to you and soullow i I just don't have words to say how utterly morally despicable it is that you took on that responsibility you took on that moral duty you drew that line for yourself that nobody should ever cross and then days after she turned 18 when it was convenient for you you crossed