Attraction: Instinct and Understanding.

so we've got a question that was
probably just intended as as an insult but I actually kind of want to respond to this in a philosophical way the question reads quote no complaints here but you some questions would you get offended if another man called a woman you find attractive ugly so I find some woman gorgeous and some other guy who my intellectual respect says something mean about her appearance would that offend you would it make you feel embarrassed to be attracted to the particular woman would it make you feel sorry for that woman who was being judged with ridiculous standards by the guy so I think probably this person was you know not really interested in my opinion on this I think this was probably being used to kind of just kind of provoked me whatever Beck saying well I'm actually tempted to make a video response to this question we've got a big discourse surrounding self-discovery for homosexuals and I feel like the heterosexual mentality has to catch up with where the gays are already at stick with me for a few sentence fragments here and you'll see what I mean so there are a lot of people you can meet not all a lot of gay people have a story of self-discovery that runs on the following lines at some stage they didn't realize they were gay they assumed they were straight by default and then at some age and the age is really very sometimes it's before puberty snows it's after puberty they start questioning whether or not they're heterosexual they start questioning what they do when don't find attractive they may go through a period with I think they pop they're bisexual and then conclude that they're gay the opposite happens - some people have a period of assuming that they're gay and then they discover that they're bisexual and then beyond that if you know some gay people you know somebody actual people and so on a lot of them also say that they had a period where they assumed what they found attractive was some kind of culturally dictated default Beauty standard so you know like that they assumed what they find attractive was the type of person on the cover of a magazine right a cover of Cosmopolitan magazine or of Jet magazine whatever magazines yeah that's really wrapped pages whatever you know but there's a certain kind of UT's there and then a discovery that what they were actually into was instead you know and sometimes guys with a lot of chest hair or guys who were big and fat I mean believe me every possible kink every possible right or they're into really skinny people or they're really androgynous people and that's another thing if you don't really see androgynous people in the mainstream media that way and they discover those learning in reality a lot of what goes on for heterosexual people and not just when you're teenagers as life goes on and on and on is really a similar process of very difficult discovery and our personal subjective sense of what's beautiful does get challenged and I think it's actually really meaningful and necessary for it to get challenged but conversations of exactly this kind so you know I can remember when I was in university it may be well it was early in my university years but so I don't know what age I would have been 18 19 what do you when he started you know I don't even know okay so I don't know let's say I was 18 or 19 but what it wasn't right at the beginning of university for me but in the first half let's say you know I remember at that time I went to Germany to learn German still speak I still speak German okay and when I was in the German school we had students from all around the world so we had Korean students we had Chinese students we had a lot of Muslim students from various parts of the Muslim world so you know some from kind of Arabia some from here they're Muslim world's already a huge part of it was somewhere from North Africa what have you and we had different kinds of Europeans and we had South Americans too and yeah it was really challenging for me to hear at their idiosyncratic views on beauty including just who they did and didn't find was beautiful within that school you know what I mean sometimes it was about I don't know some movie actress or something but sitting around with the other students yeah it was jarring and shocking and uncomfortable and I mean I remember there was there was one girl she was older than me so like I don't know she was broke 25 or something but you know what that age that's a big age gap she was older than me more and she was she was trying to get me she was trying to trying to wrestle me into the bedroom kind of thing and I thought she was quite attractive and it was really interesting for me to hear they didn't think she was attractive at all and yeah it's it's Street so that was me I wasn't such a young kid I was 18 or 19 or something you know I was already really an adult and in some ways I was a very sophisticated at the whole like I could already talk about politics and philosophy at that time I'd already studied Arthur Schopenhauer and had already studied the whole history of left-wing and communist philosophy and family I read a lot of ancient Greek and Roman flaws I remember kind of where I was at philosophically - I read a lot of German philosophy not not to mention anyway you know so I don't want a reading but still that kind of discussion it was a really strange kind of intrusion it forced me out of my comfort zone and it's natural that I'll have that if I do you because what you're really being challenged with is intersubjectivity you know beauty is in the eye of the beholder but to what extent can I sympathize with and can I understand someone else's sense of what's beautiful what's attractive and to what extent does that challenge my own assumptions as I as I discover my own assumptions because we come into this life without like a cerebral awareness of these things and also as my feelings about those things change please believe me I mean there are all these guys if you talk to older guys in the game you'll meet and talk to guys and they say yeah when they were younger they were obsessed with this notion of beauty they pursued this kind of woman this kind of standard and then they got older and they didn't care about that anymore they mature in their perspectives and again in general gay people are cool with that they're aware of that like gay and they have all kinds of slang for this gay people say yeah they had a period of time when they were only interested in pursuing bearers and they were the period where they were pursuing otters they have all these slang terms of this stuff they go through different periods and they're basically a piece of that so yeah you know this kind of discussion whether or not the the question was meant sincerely I do think it's really important for people to sit down and have their assumptions challenged on this it's important them to question themselves in question one another and maybe there's a bad stereotype you have in your mind of people you know doing this in order to hurt one another's feelings but I don't think that's the point of these conversations I think a lot of men and a lot women are trying to make sense of their own love lives they're trying to make sense of you know the place in their own hearts and minds where rational thought stops and instinct starts and that's not something simple it's not something trivial that's something profound and of profound importance that we often live with until the day we die