Bonny Rebecca is single, BUT I AM NOT.
28 June 2019 [link youtube]
In many ways a video following up on, "Breaking up with my girlfriend REPEATEDLY" (uploaded circa one week ago), found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnItgeCWbcY
Youtube Automatic Transcription
we have a lot to do today I like to
catch up on me in this video the video you're about to see has a somewhat flippant and joking tone talking about serious every matter and I think that the flippant a joking tone is appropriate I don't regret that but I'm adding in this little brief observation as an intro philosophically i vacillate between judging people in terms of their potential to do good in future and judging them on the basis of their conduct in the past I couldn't decide between sweet or savory so I went for a little bit of both I just have an egg with some avocado and some mushroom and then also some peanut butter on toast my situation with my girlfriend is she knows if I judge her based on her past behavior their relationship is over and it's not just over now it should have ended a long time ago there were a series of situations just give one real real briefly situation before we moved to Vancouver so we were in Victoria and we had already paid the money in advance to I rented an Airbnb in Vancouver we were enrolled in classes there so we both put money in the game we both pay for tuition and this apartment and stuff and I remember saying to at that point look your behavior has been so terrible and I know I'm keeping it vague guys this is the Internet sometimes it's appropriate to be fake so look you you know I would have already broken up with you here and now in Victoria but because we're committed to tuition and renting that apartment I've got to give you another chance of god I have no choice I'm forced to give you another up to you but you should know if your behavior when we moved to Vancouver is not way better than it is now look it's not just that it has to be as good as going to meeting this standard if you can't turn things around and start treating me with you know be sick respect and dignity if you can't start being timmi in a very fundamental way if you can't start living up to a standard nobody should have to plead for nobody should have to argue for in a relationship by the time we're done with this course it makes you Vancouver then this relationship is over I do not want to go to the gym I don't feel like going to the gym but I'm going to the gym because sometimes you just gotta go so I decided to go over to cloud nine because I've heard so many good things about it and so far I've been really impressed so again the rest of this video is a little bit flippant it's a little bit jokey but obviously it's a matter that's very serious for the two of us human relationships loving relationships are very fundamentally different than the relationship between an employer and employee or say the organizer of a political movement and the people adherence to that political movement it's very very easy when you have the detachment of a professional setting to say to someone look you made this mistake in the past but I'm gonna assume you learn from that mistake and when I'm looking ahead I can see your potential to do good in the future and I can judge you accordingly I can judge you according to your potential to do better to do something positive it's very hard very hard to judge your own father that way very hard to reconcile with your estranged father and say I'm gonna set aside like 20 years of that experiences with you and imagine that you can do better of course what the reasons for that is the depth of personal knowledge the depth of the judgment is so much more profound and the reality is like you know the extent to which I knew my father I knew just how little he'd be able to to change his favor I knew how little potential there was for it to do better and I was right of international UN level or whatever recognition that ownership of these objects is in fact global that stewardship of them may be in various places the loving relationships we have in our lives very often what we're asking people to do is so simple I've had to say this Melissa many times by to say to her look I'm not in the position of asking an alcoholic to quit drinking alcohol I'm not in the position of asking a gambler to quit gambling you know but what I'm asking from you is so simple and so fundamental but the question is you know can't can you do it or not Melissa has done a lot of things that hurt me she's done a lot of things that deprive me of my my really most basic most interval sense of dignity at a time my life when I was already in a crisis when to put it this way I didn't have a lot of sources of self esteem you know during the last trip we made to France together you know she really disrespected me she really hurt me and on one occasion she did it in front of my daughter and up to that point I'd always been able to say well well it says a lot of bad behavior Melissa's done a lot of things that hurt me but she's never done it in front of my daughter in fact there was one exception but I was always able to say okay you know Melissa at least knows at least I can give her credit for this that she knows you know to treat me with a certain kind of dignity you know wouldn't when my daughter is around and when she crossed that line broke it broke my heart it broke my heart even though my heart had already been broken so many times even though I'd already given up on this relationship before even though it already said to her if you can't reach this minimum standard this relationship can't continue so it's with that much more somber mm you know warning in mind that I'm now gonna press play show you what I recorded before because the decision I made despite all that suffering and despite frankly very very little effort from Melissa to make things better or address those problems or move on sir I'm allowed to have an opinion it's not that you made no effort but you know it's it's really it's really not enough it's really been it's really been too little too late despite that the decision I made was okay you want another opportunity you want an opportunity to make this relationship work to make it last forever okay kid you're wrong you have that opportunity here it is and when those videos first broke and you saw images of over 400 children subjected to gasps everybody expressed outrage how can this happen I thought I'd do a brief update video about my real lights on the occasion of Bonnie Rebecca's announcement that she's single Bonnie Rebecca does not take any joy in letting her subscriber base know that she's single I wonder I genuinely wonder what percentage of Bonnie Rebecca's viewers are male versus female when I first got started in this game and back when there was a lot more kind of constructive conversation between YouTube channels other YouTube channels said to me that their their audience was majority female and that they assumed this is because vegans were predominantly female and had always Rebecca Lee known my viewership is majority male there's normally a pretty close split would be like 54 percent male something like that you know 55 versus 45 something around that that number but the other YouTube channels I talked to you back in those days they were always really surprised they'd say well my channel it's almost it's it's overwhelmingly majority female viewers and all the other channels I know that to go at those as majority female viewers I felt a little bit of a positive sense of pride a sense of distinction that maybe the more hard-edged moralizing content that was making appealed to a male audience as opposed to a few audience m and maybe I'm wrong but today as I've done more and more videos about politics in history as have gone away from strictly vegan and strictly autobiographical content the percentage of my viewers that is male has increased and the perception viewers that his female has decreased but it has to be it has to be noted has to be noted that when I went public with the fact that I had a girlfriend when Melissa first started coming on camera my total number of viewers declined but also the percentage of my audience that was female decline something something like a 10% drop about 10 percent of the female audience disappeared when I was no longer single so anyway my situation is very different from Bonnie Rebecca's situation although I'm sure profoundly the same home you know my situation with Melissa lately has really just been reiterating things she already knew you know she she begged me in the past for another chance this happened had a few different you know junctures she said please give her a chance to make the relationship right to make it work you know forever you know fundamentally what she wants is for her and I to be a couple you know until were you know 85 years old whatever until the day we die she wants this this relationship to last forever she wants this me to be her primary partner for the rest of her life and I understand that respect that and of course we have a lot of things in common we have a lot of common ground to build that kind of ratio on and to sustain the relation for any guy however it's also true that this relationship went up to a breaking point it went past a breaking point repeatedly because of bad behavior you know on her end and you know all I've done lately is just reiterate to her look you asked for another chance so I gave you another chance I can't say it's a second chance I don't know if it's the fifth chance of the eighth chance or what now because the his son we've been through repeatedly but you know the home I'm currently living in where I am now in Taiwan I said look I committed to this for one year to give you one more chance and this is it now we've had a bunch of unexpected obstacles come in our life since that decision was made and we may have more I think you know I have no idea at any given time what my lawyer is gonna tell me um I have no idea in theory something to come up in my job situation and the forcement okay I doubt it just beyond both those I doubt it I think I'm gonna be here for one year in the same apartment with that same picture of fruit in the wall and going to the same view I think this will last or for twelve months but you know the main thing I've had to say to my girlfriend is look you asked for a chance to make it work well this is it now my girlfriend she's not unusual this way people people tend to take these observations and latch onto them as if they indicate something really exotic or unusual psychologically I think I think she's quite a normal person in this respect but she does have a little bit of the mentality of kind of give or give her an inch and she'll take a mile both now and in the past when we'd come back from the brink of breaking up and I've given her another chance she has often wanted to leap ahead several stages or leap ahead by several chapters in the book but just a couple days ago she was really bullying me to get like legally married to her um I don't even sorry I didn't mean bullying in a bad way but she was really saying like look this is our situation I need you to commit I need you to get you know legally married to me and I had to just bring it back down to that the fundamentals in the situation like okay the situation was just a short time ago you know I set down some some red lines this is Obama arrow lingo God can I I'm gonna try to never use the term red line again I didn't set a red line the world set a red line that was Barack Obama's political jargon done with it Obama administration slang red line but remember you know I said look you know at this stage of this I set them on a red line and said if this doesn't work if you cross this red line then the relationship is over bring up and you cross the red line you failed the test you know it didn't again and again and again the situation we're in now is you asked me for another chance you asked me for another opportunity to make the relationship work and I gave it to you and I'm giving it to you and this is it now you're not going to get another chance a year you know twelve months is a long time and I'm sincerely committed to that it's not like a cynical thing it's not like I'm doing this and I'm sabotaging her or I wanted to fail so it's not like that at all but you know I think that is normal in human behavior it's like if somebody just barely gets their driver's license back and then they they want a sports car that's gonna go way faster than the car they've already got like way way way way way you need to prove you can drive this car at all you need to prove you can be a safe and reliable driver um you know melissa has not a heretofore up to this point the when she's been given another chance to make things right to get the really [ __ ] back on a good footing she has not really gone back to basics to solve the fundamental problems in a relationship or to do the things that you know fundamentally kind of I need her to do to live up to the expectations I need to live up to nor has she gone back and addressed and sold the problems in the past that's still really damaged me today she has instead tended to kind of look ahead and race ahead to further things in the horizon like her wanting to get married to me immediately and her wanting to get pregnant and have a baby with me immediately and I respect that I really do like it's not just that I'm flattered that someone is in love with me and wants to marry me and have a baby I you know I really do respect it it's great it's wonderful it's wonderful to be in a relationship with someone who wants you in that way and wants to be in a long-term relationship with you what is not so wonderful obviously is being in the situation to having to remind look look do you do you not remember just a short time ago um you went you know you were weeping and screaming at me and I I sent email to your parents and my parents saying we're now broken up and you know we were looking at packing our suitcases and being in separate apartments and the premise the basis for reconciliation the basis for getting back together again in giving you another chance you have to think through that was another chance for what that was another chance in order to do what okay guys I don't know some of you can learn something from this video or from my situation my life as it crumbles as it folds and unfolds I did get a lot of really appreciative email and comments in the video messages to people who really felt they benefited from the last video I made talking about my relation with Melissa I think that if I use the standard of what other youtubers put on this on this wonderful platform if I use the standard of what Bonnie Rebecca and who are my other contemporaries if I if I look around with those channels are sharing and what anyone has to learn from it what they can benefit from it I can say by that low standard maybe some of you can benefit from this but I think America also recognizes that if the international community fails to maintain certain norms standards laws governing how countries interact and how people are treated that over time this world becomes less safe yeah I'm trying to think if there's anything else I need to say I wouldn't expect to say to him on social media or in any of my videos anytime soon he still is very much wants nothing to do with it so that answers your questions about why I'm you never see him that's just like for his own mental health right now and just like can't deal with social media which is totally fair enough because it's [ __ ] not you guys not you guys know [Music]
catch up on me in this video the video you're about to see has a somewhat flippant and joking tone talking about serious every matter and I think that the flippant a joking tone is appropriate I don't regret that but I'm adding in this little brief observation as an intro philosophically i vacillate between judging people in terms of their potential to do good in future and judging them on the basis of their conduct in the past I couldn't decide between sweet or savory so I went for a little bit of both I just have an egg with some avocado and some mushroom and then also some peanut butter on toast my situation with my girlfriend is she knows if I judge her based on her past behavior their relationship is over and it's not just over now it should have ended a long time ago there were a series of situations just give one real real briefly situation before we moved to Vancouver so we were in Victoria and we had already paid the money in advance to I rented an Airbnb in Vancouver we were enrolled in classes there so we both put money in the game we both pay for tuition and this apartment and stuff and I remember saying to at that point look your behavior has been so terrible and I know I'm keeping it vague guys this is the Internet sometimes it's appropriate to be fake so look you you know I would have already broken up with you here and now in Victoria but because we're committed to tuition and renting that apartment I've got to give you another chance of god I have no choice I'm forced to give you another up to you but you should know if your behavior when we moved to Vancouver is not way better than it is now look it's not just that it has to be as good as going to meeting this standard if you can't turn things around and start treating me with you know be sick respect and dignity if you can't start being timmi in a very fundamental way if you can't start living up to a standard nobody should have to plead for nobody should have to argue for in a relationship by the time we're done with this course it makes you Vancouver then this relationship is over I do not want to go to the gym I don't feel like going to the gym but I'm going to the gym because sometimes you just gotta go so I decided to go over to cloud nine because I've heard so many good things about it and so far I've been really impressed so again the rest of this video is a little bit flippant it's a little bit jokey but obviously it's a matter that's very serious for the two of us human relationships loving relationships are very fundamentally different than the relationship between an employer and employee or say the organizer of a political movement and the people adherence to that political movement it's very very easy when you have the detachment of a professional setting to say to someone look you made this mistake in the past but I'm gonna assume you learn from that mistake and when I'm looking ahead I can see your potential to do good in the future and I can judge you accordingly I can judge you according to your potential to do better to do something positive it's very hard very hard to judge your own father that way very hard to reconcile with your estranged father and say I'm gonna set aside like 20 years of that experiences with you and imagine that you can do better of course what the reasons for that is the depth of personal knowledge the depth of the judgment is so much more profound and the reality is like you know the extent to which I knew my father I knew just how little he'd be able to to change his favor I knew how little potential there was for it to do better and I was right of international UN level or whatever recognition that ownership of these objects is in fact global that stewardship of them may be in various places the loving relationships we have in our lives very often what we're asking people to do is so simple I've had to say this Melissa many times by to say to her look I'm not in the position of asking an alcoholic to quit drinking alcohol I'm not in the position of asking a gambler to quit gambling you know but what I'm asking from you is so simple and so fundamental but the question is you know can't can you do it or not Melissa has done a lot of things that hurt me she's done a lot of things that deprive me of my my really most basic most interval sense of dignity at a time my life when I was already in a crisis when to put it this way I didn't have a lot of sources of self esteem you know during the last trip we made to France together you know she really disrespected me she really hurt me and on one occasion she did it in front of my daughter and up to that point I'd always been able to say well well it says a lot of bad behavior Melissa's done a lot of things that hurt me but she's never done it in front of my daughter in fact there was one exception but I was always able to say okay you know Melissa at least knows at least I can give her credit for this that she knows you know to treat me with a certain kind of dignity you know wouldn't when my daughter is around and when she crossed that line broke it broke my heart it broke my heart even though my heart had already been broken so many times even though I'd already given up on this relationship before even though it already said to her if you can't reach this minimum standard this relationship can't continue so it's with that much more somber mm you know warning in mind that I'm now gonna press play show you what I recorded before because the decision I made despite all that suffering and despite frankly very very little effort from Melissa to make things better or address those problems or move on sir I'm allowed to have an opinion it's not that you made no effort but you know it's it's really it's really not enough it's really been it's really been too little too late despite that the decision I made was okay you want another opportunity you want an opportunity to make this relationship work to make it last forever okay kid you're wrong you have that opportunity here it is and when those videos first broke and you saw images of over 400 children subjected to gasps everybody expressed outrage how can this happen I thought I'd do a brief update video about my real lights on the occasion of Bonnie Rebecca's announcement that she's single Bonnie Rebecca does not take any joy in letting her subscriber base know that she's single I wonder I genuinely wonder what percentage of Bonnie Rebecca's viewers are male versus female when I first got started in this game and back when there was a lot more kind of constructive conversation between YouTube channels other YouTube channels said to me that their their audience was majority female and that they assumed this is because vegans were predominantly female and had always Rebecca Lee known my viewership is majority male there's normally a pretty close split would be like 54 percent male something like that you know 55 versus 45 something around that that number but the other YouTube channels I talked to you back in those days they were always really surprised they'd say well my channel it's almost it's it's overwhelmingly majority female viewers and all the other channels I know that to go at those as majority female viewers I felt a little bit of a positive sense of pride a sense of distinction that maybe the more hard-edged moralizing content that was making appealed to a male audience as opposed to a few audience m and maybe I'm wrong but today as I've done more and more videos about politics in history as have gone away from strictly vegan and strictly autobiographical content the percentage of my viewers that is male has increased and the perception viewers that his female has decreased but it has to be it has to be noted has to be noted that when I went public with the fact that I had a girlfriend when Melissa first started coming on camera my total number of viewers declined but also the percentage of my audience that was female decline something something like a 10% drop about 10 percent of the female audience disappeared when I was no longer single so anyway my situation is very different from Bonnie Rebecca's situation although I'm sure profoundly the same home you know my situation with Melissa lately has really just been reiterating things she already knew you know she she begged me in the past for another chance this happened had a few different you know junctures she said please give her a chance to make the relationship right to make it work you know forever you know fundamentally what she wants is for her and I to be a couple you know until were you know 85 years old whatever until the day we die she wants this this relationship to last forever she wants this me to be her primary partner for the rest of her life and I understand that respect that and of course we have a lot of things in common we have a lot of common ground to build that kind of ratio on and to sustain the relation for any guy however it's also true that this relationship went up to a breaking point it went past a breaking point repeatedly because of bad behavior you know on her end and you know all I've done lately is just reiterate to her look you asked for another chance so I gave you another chance I can't say it's a second chance I don't know if it's the fifth chance of the eighth chance or what now because the his son we've been through repeatedly but you know the home I'm currently living in where I am now in Taiwan I said look I committed to this for one year to give you one more chance and this is it now we've had a bunch of unexpected obstacles come in our life since that decision was made and we may have more I think you know I have no idea at any given time what my lawyer is gonna tell me um I have no idea in theory something to come up in my job situation and the forcement okay I doubt it just beyond both those I doubt it I think I'm gonna be here for one year in the same apartment with that same picture of fruit in the wall and going to the same view I think this will last or for twelve months but you know the main thing I've had to say to my girlfriend is look you asked for a chance to make it work well this is it now my girlfriend she's not unusual this way people people tend to take these observations and latch onto them as if they indicate something really exotic or unusual psychologically I think I think she's quite a normal person in this respect but she does have a little bit of the mentality of kind of give or give her an inch and she'll take a mile both now and in the past when we'd come back from the brink of breaking up and I've given her another chance she has often wanted to leap ahead several stages or leap ahead by several chapters in the book but just a couple days ago she was really bullying me to get like legally married to her um I don't even sorry I didn't mean bullying in a bad way but she was really saying like look this is our situation I need you to commit I need you to get you know legally married to me and I had to just bring it back down to that the fundamentals in the situation like okay the situation was just a short time ago you know I set down some some red lines this is Obama arrow lingo God can I I'm gonna try to never use the term red line again I didn't set a red line the world set a red line that was Barack Obama's political jargon done with it Obama administration slang red line but remember you know I said look you know at this stage of this I set them on a red line and said if this doesn't work if you cross this red line then the relationship is over bring up and you cross the red line you failed the test you know it didn't again and again and again the situation we're in now is you asked me for another chance you asked me for another opportunity to make the relationship work and I gave it to you and I'm giving it to you and this is it now you're not going to get another chance a year you know twelve months is a long time and I'm sincerely committed to that it's not like a cynical thing it's not like I'm doing this and I'm sabotaging her or I wanted to fail so it's not like that at all but you know I think that is normal in human behavior it's like if somebody just barely gets their driver's license back and then they they want a sports car that's gonna go way faster than the car they've already got like way way way way way you need to prove you can drive this car at all you need to prove you can be a safe and reliable driver um you know melissa has not a heretofore up to this point the when she's been given another chance to make things right to get the really [ __ ] back on a good footing she has not really gone back to basics to solve the fundamental problems in a relationship or to do the things that you know fundamentally kind of I need her to do to live up to the expectations I need to live up to nor has she gone back and addressed and sold the problems in the past that's still really damaged me today she has instead tended to kind of look ahead and race ahead to further things in the horizon like her wanting to get married to me immediately and her wanting to get pregnant and have a baby with me immediately and I respect that I really do like it's not just that I'm flattered that someone is in love with me and wants to marry me and have a baby I you know I really do respect it it's great it's wonderful it's wonderful to be in a relationship with someone who wants you in that way and wants to be in a long-term relationship with you what is not so wonderful obviously is being in the situation to having to remind look look do you do you not remember just a short time ago um you went you know you were weeping and screaming at me and I I sent email to your parents and my parents saying we're now broken up and you know we were looking at packing our suitcases and being in separate apartments and the premise the basis for reconciliation the basis for getting back together again in giving you another chance you have to think through that was another chance for what that was another chance in order to do what okay guys I don't know some of you can learn something from this video or from my situation my life as it crumbles as it folds and unfolds I did get a lot of really appreciative email and comments in the video messages to people who really felt they benefited from the last video I made talking about my relation with Melissa I think that if I use the standard of what other youtubers put on this on this wonderful platform if I use the standard of what Bonnie Rebecca and who are my other contemporaries if I if I look around with those channels are sharing and what anyone has to learn from it what they can benefit from it I can say by that low standard maybe some of you can benefit from this but I think America also recognizes that if the international community fails to maintain certain norms standards laws governing how countries interact and how people are treated that over time this world becomes less safe yeah I'm trying to think if there's anything else I need to say I wouldn't expect to say to him on social media or in any of my videos anytime soon he still is very much wants nothing to do with it so that answers your questions about why I'm you never see him that's just like for his own mental health right now and just like can't deal with social media which is totally fair enough because it's [ __ ] not you guys not you guys know [Music]