On ALMOST breaking up with my girlfriend. #Advice #Storytime

okay the concept for this video if not
the title is why have I not broken up with Melissa my girlfriend who's sitting before it off camera alright and the more broad lesson the audience can take from this or that the followers of base Zeus can take for this is what is the crucial characteristic you should look for in a man or woman whoever gonna rush with what is the crucial characteristic that makes that makes the difference between yes I'm gonna keep on making this effort I'm still gonna put hours and hours into building this relationship versus I'm gonna break up with you and go away you know and that is not a decision you make just once in a relationship it's not like oh yeah just once we had a fight oh wait then I had to think about whether or not I was gonna break up me no no no no no no no no no even in the best relationship you can ask you something you might not say it out loud question is gonna is gonna come up okay here's what it is the main redeeming quality Melissa has that none of my other long-term relationships had is that I never have the same fight twice with her is that she actually learns from and as a new and different perspective on the issues from one argument to the other I really genuinely feel that Melissa learns from experience and I mean if anyone watching this video is over the age of 30 and is not a lifelong celibate you will know you can be in a relationship where you have the same argument the same fight again and again again before every time you do this I tell you this thing and you you say you're changing you ain't change your [ __ ] okay I really think what is the one criterion for why you should stay together versus breaking up I think it's got to be that it's got to be learning from experience now can I apply this to myself Melissa's nodding her head off off-camera I mean admittedly most of the problems there but I mean maybe you know maybe there's somewhere dang maybe there's some adaptation for sure for sure behavioral adaptation on my end I've I've changed you know the way I do things the way I approach things and you know I mean one of the breaking points I think it's cool to talk about this in in in vague and broad brushstrokes at one point Melissa hacked my facebook she read private messages you mean other people and she was doing it out of a kind of jealous rage and she was in such a rage at the time what she actually found in my facebook messages was me saying the relationship is really great the sex is really great things are going really well I was you know talking privately about her best people but I was laughing and laughing I really you know I laughed well on for hours we were talking about it afterwards that she admitted to me that you hacked that I was scrolling through these what all this stuff is so positive about a relationship now today I'm laughing about sure at the time I was last more - I was pretty cool and detached about it but for me I'm a real honor and dignity based guy for me it's like look you crossed the line you you dishonored yourself you dishonored me this is a this is a violation of the code for me as 100% grounds to break up with you and again it's not that anything was revealed it's not that I was on earth not that anything was was was turned out this way Annie what made it worse was also after after she'd hacked that she lied to me about it - it's not like she acted and I just came clean you know um I think I mean you know we used the word mistake a lot in English Oh people make mistakes slipping and falling down on a staircase is a mistake hacking your boyfriend's email looking through his facebook messages you know violating his privacy a dishonorable act is not a mistake I think in the in the strictest sense the word it's evil but the thing is having gone through that with Melissa I actually think she learned from the experience I actually that she changed and I think that's true of the different kind of disputes and arguments and confrontations we had on a whole crazy you know list of issues some of which are trivial or so which might be trivial you know to an outside observer but but aren't but aren't trivial to me you know so look guys I feel like I have the best relation in the world I think it's really loving and really trusting and really cooperative I could say so many good things about it and Melissa for me today is really an intellectual partner not just an emotional partner and not just a mother to my child and all this stuff over time we have more and more in common not just veganism but you know we're really learning Chinese together we have all this all this common ground there's so many good things I can say about it but it was work it was hard work for me it was the main project it was the main thing I was working on for a whole year I really put all my other projects on hold just to build this relationship just to build this rapport and understanding and cooperation