Doing Numbers: Don't Be Like Jake Paul.

if i know at the end of the day i didn't
do something and someone's making some [ __ ] up i'm gonna come out and [ __ ] defend myself and then at one point he said if nothing is going to happen then what's the point what's the point i don't know maybe i could be one of your friends maybe i can just be someone that you kiss never ever have i re rejected someone's touches and they said well if nothing's gonna happen what's the point like what many of us are deeply conditioned whether we've examined it or not to think oh well if i don't believe in monogamy then i believe in sleeping with as many people as possible that's the default or or even only alternate proposition you will hear christians muslims and jews arguing against atheism or even just arguing against a more free-spirited approach to religion your private life by saying well if you don't believe in this if you don't live with the fear of hell after you die to deter you then you're gonna end up like jake paul anyone who makes some false [ __ ] claims about me i will chase it to the very [ __ ] end and prove my innocence and again my character from years from now will show will show that this person and this individual is completely lying there is absolutely no discourse in our society at any level about doing numbers and about doing finite numbers this is the point where if what he wanted is sex he sees he's not going to get it this is the point where we would just go elsewhere but that is not what he did when he got up um he undid his pants and grabbed my face and started um [ __ ] my face hi if you're new around here my method of recording commentary videos is to provide an opinion an analysis and a set of reflections that's still going to seem meaningful to me if i come back and watch the video five years from now when i've completely forgotten the controversy of the moment if you're watching this 50 years from now and if you're watching this five minutes from now you have no idea who jake paul is stick with the video because we're going to talk about some issues that are still going to be relevant to your life whether you're watching this five minutes five years or 500 years from now because we're dealing with questions that come very close to the human heart to non-negotiable tragically impossible to change aspects of human nature the story in the news today is that there was a young woman who claims that jake paul raped her and jake paul says that he doesn't remember having sexual relations with her at all i'd like to start this video by pointing out that those two versions of events are not mutually exclusive it's quite possible that the young lady's story is entirely true and accurate and that jake paul doesn't remember it it's entirely plausible that jake paul has slept with so many young women whom he met or recruited from instagram over so many days and so many months and so many years that he doesn't really remember meeting this particular young woman at all or what happened on that particular night that's that's actually not even implausible the purpose of this video is not to go into the details of the young woman's account but i would point out that if this does go to court she's already mentioned several witnesses if those witnesses back up her story i think she has a very good chance of prevailing in a court of law i see nothing implausible nothing incoherent nothing wrong with her version of events but it's the other side of the equation i hear want a question because i think it's much more meaningful and relevant to our lives what we're going to learn from this we're going to have to apply going forward for us the nameless faceless morass of the audience it was a very different controversy involving a stand-up comedian called chris delia and a fellow vegan youtuber made some commentary videos i can give you a link to her channel maggie sargent maggie talked about her own experience working in a stand-up comedy club and she had the honesty to talk about her own experience sleeping with quite a number of stand-up comedians in quite a number of one-night stand so this type of honesty is rare but that's what we come on youtube to hear right and then on the other side of it uh chris d'elia the stand-up comedian who's the center of a controversy in defending himself he chose to be honest about the extent to which he had slept with large numbers of random women as he went from nightclub to nightclub from town to town at one point in his confession he states that look for each city he went to for each gig there were at least 50 women on instagram where he was responding to them and trying to arrange to meet at a hotel or getting to bed with them i do not think the point is that he successfully met up with 50 but the point is in each city there might have been two or three or five or ten he was doing numbers as he went from town to town now it's easy to lose sight of the millennium long context these moral fables unfold in right over the course of many centuries we have been conditioned to embrace one of two paradigms one of which is absolute monogamy no sex until marriage and then total commitment to only having sex with one person for the rest of your life and the other is the rejection of that paradigm implicitly or explicitly embracing an infinite number of partners many of us are deeply conditioned whether we've examined it or not to think oh well if i don't believe in monogamy then i believe in sleeping with as many people as possible that's the default or or even only alternate proposition you will hear christians muslims and jews arguing against atheism or even just arguing against a more free-spirited approach to religion your private life by saying well if you don't believe in this if you don't live with the fear of hell after you die to deter you then you're gonna end up like jake paul you're gonna end up like chris delia sleeping with huge numbers of people going from town to town there is absolutely no discourse in our society at any level about doing numbers and about doing finite numbers i think it's going to be very clear to you that in this video i'm not giving advice for people who have a whole lot in common with myself and most people don't have very much government you know sometimes i do talk to young men who have a lot more in common with jake paul then they haven't come with me um if i were talking to jake paul face to face if he happened to be a cousin of mine or something because we certainly wouldn't be friends um let's suppose for whatever reason he's somebody i get to sit down and talk to once the while we're somehow connected through family or business you know i might say to him jake have you ever thought about how profoundly different your life would be if you let yourself sleep with five women per year this may sound kind of ridiculous and perplexing in the audience but it only seems ridiculous because we have no cultural familiarity with this going back over centuries and millennia right oh for a guy like that a guy who both admittedly from his perspective and notoriously in terms of his former girlfriends complaining about him the complaints from his girlfriends were that even when he was swearing that he was being monogamous in a sense uh that he was actually meeting up with and sleeping with other women once every few days some accounts say it's a different girl every day but any case more than one girl a month many dozens or large numbers of girls per year this is what's reported for him and i don't really think he denies those those rumors perhaps even relishes the notoriety for the large numbers what if you limited yourself to five for many of you in the audience to sleep with five different people per year every year would be an unimaginably high number that might seem tremendously impersonal right say oh what so you only know somebody for for maybe a month or two and then you're on to the next well i'm not i'm not saying you you plan it that way but for someone in jake paul's position who has the power and the wealth and the fame and the privilege to contact any number of instagram models what if when it's january 1st it's the start of a new year you say yourself you know what this year there are only going to be five each one you pick now suddenly you're going to put a lot more energy and attention into picking them right now suddenly it's not just going to be oh well she looks cute enough or she looks attractive enough right now there's actually going to be some soul searching if there are only going to be five maximum this year do i really like this person do i really want to get to know this person is this somebody i want to know for like a whole two months is there is there i know this may sound surreal to many of you guys but to have a guy like that ask himself is this someone i have enough in common with that i'm going to want to know them for two months for a two-month relationship rather than a you know a two-day one-night relationship right as opposed to one-night stands or whatever and if you try your hardest to have meaningful relations with five people the year ain't over yet you're stuck you made a vow so now for however many months are left in the year jake either you've got to wait it out in celibacy reflect on think about how you manage to screw up five different relationships that year or you look back at those five from the past and think do you is it is it worth it maybe should i go back and should i try again with this one or that one right can you imagine in what a subtle and profound way the whole life of someone like jake paul would change if he had a finite limit to his womanizing even if you know what if it's five per year after 10 years that's 50 people but still it might be closer to five real relationships now when people come to treat one another as disposable even with the best of intentions situations like this situations like jake paul facing criminal charges for some kind of sexual assault or some kind of rape we'll see what the judges are okay not only can things like that happen it is very believable to me that the men involved may have become so accustomed to sleeping with a rotating door of one anonymous instagram model after another that they would not even remember the particulars of what happened with the particular girl what is it now a whole a year and a half later right this is the terrible thing about the friends you choose to have the friends you choose to reject right your romantic relations other people with time you're training yourself you're conditioning yourself you're transforming yourself to be a different person there's another type of person you become and yet you know people talk about pimping like it's a joke it's no joke right is that who you want to come do you want to become a pimp do you want to become a whoremonger do you want to become someone who's a serial consumer of aspiring models exploiting their hopes and dreams for fame self-promotion or at least employment to get into bed with one after another to the point where you don't really remember their names or their faces or how you met or whether or not you met at all and okay do you think chris de elia could pass a pop quiz if he was if he was sending 50 different women messages trying to get to bed with them with each city in each town he went to on tour right and and think about what a difference it would be if instead of 50 women a week it was five women per year and what a difference it would be for everyone involved of course not just for the famous man or question but of course for the women themselves it's not just quantitatively that you're changing your relationships it's qualitatively and i think there are a lot of obvious ways in which with the passage of time qualitatively you're changing who you are you're changing yourself now my regular viewers absolutely hate it when i tell anecdotes about my own personal life my own dating life my own sex life for my own lack of a sex life but you know um there was a woman of about 30 years of age who was trying to get into bed with me and you know she was she said words to the effect that i was a special person to her she wasn't terribly poetic about it and i wasn't entirely clear at that time where this flattery was going but soon enough thereafter it became clear for what reason in what way she was telling me that i was a special person her and you know at the time she approached me she had a complex situation with breaking up with an ex-boyfriend and then getting back together with him a year later and then not working out and bringing out kind of and i asked it was just within the confines of this conversation like she was talking about different permutations of this and the fact she stated that she had slept with other man during the time when she'd been broken out of this guy and i asked well okay but you know so it's about one year and how many partners did you have you know between when you broke up and when you tried to get back together again i was honestly just counseling her like about how to make it work if she's getting back together with a guy or what's going on and you know she said 12. and she was like no no no no no wait wait wait wait there were there were several others and then i forget goes up to 14 15 right the numbers keep climbing she sits and thinks about it right okay you know no no shade you know we all make choices we all live with the consequences right but obviously if this woman is approaching me and as became clear not that long thereafter this woman is trying to have a high commitment monogamous relationship with me and she's telling me i'm a special person well how special am i when you broke up with your boyfriend there were about 15 other guys you went to performing and now you're coming to me now you're knocking on my door now you're you know now you're trying to get me really so you know i'm i'm special to you but really i'm not that special now i'm gonna ask you guys i'm not hating the player and i'm not hating the game i'm not i'm not i'm asking you really what kind of person do you want to be and what kind of person are you going to become when you live this way all right it's not just jake paul it's not just chris d'elia who have this kind of lifestyle open to them who have these kinds of options okay when i was living in thailand i knew guys who were a lot uglier than i am who were doing numbers right i knew one guy who lost his virginity with a prostitute and i could just just see it you could just smell it on him he was just dripping with it and you know it wasn't that he only slept with prostitutes he went to nightclubs and so on and so forth he had all these different relationships with women but you really couldn't shake the feeling that he had been conditioned or he had conditioned himself to pretty much treat all women as prostitutes that was pretty much how he lived his life i'm not going to get into the details by how i knew that guy you know um i know i know i grew up listening to rap music we've all heard a lot about pimpin and commercialized sexuality and these kinds of things right you got to look in the mirror and ask yourself who do you want to be who you're going to become where this is going what the subjective and objective consequences are for you and ironically christielia he reached that breaking point where the main thing he had to reflect on was that he's now a parent and he doesn't want his own son to grow up to be like him he's ashamed to talk to his own wife about these things and he's ashamed to talk to his own wife or his own daughter about the life he used to live and that he lived for many years living right okay interesting perspective and a lot of people in this audience a lot of people in this audience who feel they've never had this choice they've never had this option they've never had the option of being 50 people a year or 100 people you're saying yeah you know what you know the the morality lecture i get it to some extent but why don't you let me also make the mistakes uh chris delia and jake paul have made and then i'll get enlightened and sensitive and more like afterwards afterwards i'll seek out my own moral rectitude after i've been through a hundred instagram models or whatever it is right but the part you don't know the part you can never know is what's going to be left of you right after the 100 instagram models have come and gone and i think in a real sense you can look into jake paul's eyes as he's making these denials now is he's making these public statements of his moral purity he's claiming to have no responsibility for him you can look at jake paul and ask yourself what's left of you jake and 10 years ago whenever you got on this fame and success bandwagon i don't know is it 20 years already you know is this who you want to be is this you want to become and i don't mean is this who you wanted to be known as publicly i'm not asking is this the public reputation you wanted to have i'm asking is this who you wanted to be okay now the reality is a whole lot of us whether you live in thailand or you live in los angeles if you are just a good good-looking guy or a good-looking female and you're ready to do the work you're ready to make the effort you probably could you probably could have a sex life as dissipated [Laughter] as jake paul or christie it won't be easy it won't be cheap it won't be quick it won't be passive it it'll it'll be in a real sense you know your life's work and i think the greatest tragedy of all is that people don't do that for the sake of sex and they don't do it for the sake of love and they don't do it for the sake of friendship even you know the people live that way at the end of that process i don't think they have a lot of friends in their lives you know i don't think they have a lot of love in their lives i think they do those things tragically for self-esteem they do it in order to feel good about themselves they do it so that they can feel they have something to be proud of and tragically that goes down to and including the guys sleeping with prostitutes in thailand it's something they brag about something they feel they've accomplished like climbing a mountain right and then there are only two ways that story can end right either it ends with you actually feeling ashamed feeling disgust for the man you've become feeling despicable in your own eyes feeling despised by your own wife or your own children as the case may be like crystallia right or you look in the mirror and figure out that you're a scumbag like jake paul and right down to the mirror of your bones you ain't got no sense you ain't got no shame at all my sling is editorial explicit material briefcase show live and stereo flow fill me