Vegans Learning to Bake in College (+ Sex / Relationship Misc.)
15 October 2017 [link youtube]
Youtube Automatic Transcription
what the shirt looks you go to that you
think you can change him what what change what what do you want to change I was like no I don't know that's a lot cuz in our relationship you don't you don't want me to change you want to not look at a change that's that's hilarious so so we're just doing relationship talk talk on the livestream some people make comments that were pregnant stuff but you know this is funny earlier today I went and give this lecture or got up early I've done some other things kind of a long day already but you know it was on my mind kind of the contrast between one of the bedrock assumptions of Chinese dating and the reality of how our relationship both is going and will apparently go on the fusion difference is this so like Melissa and I we have talked about going back to Canada enrolling in a college in getting a practical degree in baking together so learning how to bake bread learning how to bake cakes together what kind of business could that lead to could lead to a vegan bakery could lead to vegan catering could lead to a hobby like it could be not the main job we do but just something we do together as an activity but yeah it could side hustle sure but it could be a major money-making part of our lives or it could have some other significance I've always said like I got a four-year-old daughter we baked a cake with her last time if you've got a kid I think it's wonderful to be able to bake bread for them to be able to to make a birthday cake for them instead of buying it from from a factory or whatever you know it's great so it could be a positive in my life in various ways but here's the point built into that is there's like it opens door to a whole career path or whole possible future where if we make money we make it together you know what I mean and even if we don't literally make the money together let's say let's say hypothetical situation we go and get this degree diploma in baking let's say you end up being the one who's super enthusiastic you end up owning and running a bakery and I go and get a PhD in something really useless like philosophy and politics or Asian languages or something or First Nations I become a lawyer for the Korean a jib way I get a law degree or something whatever you know but let's say let's say we do this and then our past but still you know the way in which I'd be involved in your work life because you know I would have had the education with you a guy probably would have been involved every moment of you getting a bank loan you know I'd be involved even if it was your business you know what I mean I'd be involved we'd be getting that together or would be experiencing the ups and downs together in such a dynamic way that makes that makes the relationship stronger and I think it may creates a real sense of mutual ownership in whatever you happen to get out of it maybe all you get out of it is a very humble apartment and a secondhand Ford Taurus you know what I mean well now that I am making money no time but you know survival your survival becomes really a mutual thing right now I think in some ways that's the current ideal in definitely in American culture you know okay I only listen to hip-hop em you know what I mean but like no in terms of how people like Charlamagne tha God in terms of hip-hop personalities implied to be terms out the top but that's the mean thing those guys yearn for cuz what they hate what they're sick of is the fame famous guy groupie female dynamic what they don't want is the guy gets all the money and then the chick just shows up to spend his money and she has no connection with she has no ownership of no investment in how he earned his money so I think I think that's probably why in the hip-hop American cell culture that's really emphasized even more the ideal of actually going through it together whether it's running the business together or the education together they of making your money together being drawn together have you have you picked up on that also yeah I'm thinking of the song about 50 cent 21 questions oh yeah yeah yeah you know if I was in a hoop Dean right right right right but methane I think that's idealized for men who don't have it currently in American culture maybe they don't think about it as clearly as I've just set it out but I think that is what a lot of one and it's hard like if you're a dude and you're you're a chemical engineer or something you may be in some super technical field unless you get with a woman in that field you're probably even if the woman's not a bimbo let's say a woman but a woman who can't relate to how you make your money can't relate to your struggle doesn't know what you're going through at the office doesn't know what you're going through the laboratory and yeah you may feel like it's instead a kind of groupie relationship this is just some chick who's tacked on to you already successful life you know kind of needless appendage so to instead have the woman dynamically involved in your education your career or whatever it is so this is my point I was just think about this day while I was sitting around doing this lecture sitting around doing other things but you know one of the bedrock assumptions or I guess an ideals in the Chinese system of dating is that the guy gets a job gets an apartment gets an apartment right not for himself like he gets a big apartment that's empty apartment big enough to have a woman and a baby yeah you know what I mean like he gets yes is the home they're gonna move into he gets that set up and then he fishes around the fro woman to fill in that blank right but the dynamic I think is so unhealthy yeah you know what I mean like other people because even like at some point so presumably we're gonna go live in a really small crappy apartment together at this point but like whatever process we go through if we do in the future move into a bigger apartment to have a baby in it or something it's like we found that apartment together we decorated that apartment together we went through the struggle went through the process maybe it's not a struggle maybe it's easy but still we went through the process together you know what I mean you were there when I moved in the furniture you're not as as opposed to pick out the stainless steel sure no but I mean whatever it is even if it's not that you actually earned the money with me like even if you even if you don't pay the rent at all or vice versa or whatever whatever the financial reality is then at least you're going through that process and again like what I'm talking about here it isn't even about equal parties a lot of relationships are unequal before I was literally a university student married to a university professor that's not just unequal it was illegal under the rules of the university what we were doing was was illegal and she should have been fired because the actual wording the rules is what she could not have sex with any student it's like well she's married to us due to any - when he currently enrolled stood by the way we knew about a lot of other professors who were actually I'm just saying there was a lot of professor on student scandal action going on it University of Regina at that time sue me if you want to in Canada telling the truth is all always your guarantee of not being convicted of of defamation slander anyway unlike United States but look yeah it just it just struck me as a funny thing you know people in the outside might not suspect that about their relationship I think it's a really powerful positive thing you came into my relationship at a time in your life when you were looking around to go back to University maybe get a master's degree and in my life I was looking around at going back to university maybe get a masters degree and whatever it is where me be gonna do the fact that we're gonna go through that process together you know and even if it's just buying that car together and furnishing that apartment together that you're going through that stuff together gives you a real sense of mutual investment in the project of your home or family not that it's a project that belongs to one person and not the other I think that's really good advice even if you're in a relationship that's totally unequal because it may be relationships can be unequal in a lot of different ways mm-hmm that's a wrap
think you can change him what what change what what do you want to change I was like no I don't know that's a lot cuz in our relationship you don't you don't want me to change you want to not look at a change that's that's hilarious so so we're just doing relationship talk talk on the livestream some people make comments that were pregnant stuff but you know this is funny earlier today I went and give this lecture or got up early I've done some other things kind of a long day already but you know it was on my mind kind of the contrast between one of the bedrock assumptions of Chinese dating and the reality of how our relationship both is going and will apparently go on the fusion difference is this so like Melissa and I we have talked about going back to Canada enrolling in a college in getting a practical degree in baking together so learning how to bake bread learning how to bake cakes together what kind of business could that lead to could lead to a vegan bakery could lead to vegan catering could lead to a hobby like it could be not the main job we do but just something we do together as an activity but yeah it could side hustle sure but it could be a major money-making part of our lives or it could have some other significance I've always said like I got a four-year-old daughter we baked a cake with her last time if you've got a kid I think it's wonderful to be able to bake bread for them to be able to to make a birthday cake for them instead of buying it from from a factory or whatever you know it's great so it could be a positive in my life in various ways but here's the point built into that is there's like it opens door to a whole career path or whole possible future where if we make money we make it together you know what I mean and even if we don't literally make the money together let's say let's say hypothetical situation we go and get this degree diploma in baking let's say you end up being the one who's super enthusiastic you end up owning and running a bakery and I go and get a PhD in something really useless like philosophy and politics or Asian languages or something or First Nations I become a lawyer for the Korean a jib way I get a law degree or something whatever you know but let's say let's say we do this and then our past but still you know the way in which I'd be involved in your work life because you know I would have had the education with you a guy probably would have been involved every moment of you getting a bank loan you know I'd be involved even if it was your business you know what I mean I'd be involved we'd be getting that together or would be experiencing the ups and downs together in such a dynamic way that makes that makes the relationship stronger and I think it may creates a real sense of mutual ownership in whatever you happen to get out of it maybe all you get out of it is a very humble apartment and a secondhand Ford Taurus you know what I mean well now that I am making money no time but you know survival your survival becomes really a mutual thing right now I think in some ways that's the current ideal in definitely in American culture you know okay I only listen to hip-hop em you know what I mean but like no in terms of how people like Charlamagne tha God in terms of hip-hop personalities implied to be terms out the top but that's the mean thing those guys yearn for cuz what they hate what they're sick of is the fame famous guy groupie female dynamic what they don't want is the guy gets all the money and then the chick just shows up to spend his money and she has no connection with she has no ownership of no investment in how he earned his money so I think I think that's probably why in the hip-hop American cell culture that's really emphasized even more the ideal of actually going through it together whether it's running the business together or the education together they of making your money together being drawn together have you have you picked up on that also yeah I'm thinking of the song about 50 cent 21 questions oh yeah yeah yeah you know if I was in a hoop Dean right right right right but methane I think that's idealized for men who don't have it currently in American culture maybe they don't think about it as clearly as I've just set it out but I think that is what a lot of one and it's hard like if you're a dude and you're you're a chemical engineer or something you may be in some super technical field unless you get with a woman in that field you're probably even if the woman's not a bimbo let's say a woman but a woman who can't relate to how you make your money can't relate to your struggle doesn't know what you're going through at the office doesn't know what you're going through the laboratory and yeah you may feel like it's instead a kind of groupie relationship this is just some chick who's tacked on to you already successful life you know kind of needless appendage so to instead have the woman dynamically involved in your education your career or whatever it is so this is my point I was just think about this day while I was sitting around doing this lecture sitting around doing other things but you know one of the bedrock assumptions or I guess an ideals in the Chinese system of dating is that the guy gets a job gets an apartment gets an apartment right not for himself like he gets a big apartment that's empty apartment big enough to have a woman and a baby yeah you know what I mean like he gets yes is the home they're gonna move into he gets that set up and then he fishes around the fro woman to fill in that blank right but the dynamic I think is so unhealthy yeah you know what I mean like other people because even like at some point so presumably we're gonna go live in a really small crappy apartment together at this point but like whatever process we go through if we do in the future move into a bigger apartment to have a baby in it or something it's like we found that apartment together we decorated that apartment together we went through the struggle went through the process maybe it's not a struggle maybe it's easy but still we went through the process together you know what I mean you were there when I moved in the furniture you're not as as opposed to pick out the stainless steel sure no but I mean whatever it is even if it's not that you actually earned the money with me like even if you even if you don't pay the rent at all or vice versa or whatever whatever the financial reality is then at least you're going through that process and again like what I'm talking about here it isn't even about equal parties a lot of relationships are unequal before I was literally a university student married to a university professor that's not just unequal it was illegal under the rules of the university what we were doing was was illegal and she should have been fired because the actual wording the rules is what she could not have sex with any student it's like well she's married to us due to any - when he currently enrolled stood by the way we knew about a lot of other professors who were actually I'm just saying there was a lot of professor on student scandal action going on it University of Regina at that time sue me if you want to in Canada telling the truth is all always your guarantee of not being convicted of of defamation slander anyway unlike United States but look yeah it just it just struck me as a funny thing you know people in the outside might not suspect that about their relationship I think it's a really powerful positive thing you came into my relationship at a time in your life when you were looking around to go back to University maybe get a master's degree and in my life I was looking around at going back to university maybe get a masters degree and whatever it is where me be gonna do the fact that we're gonna go through that process together you know and even if it's just buying that car together and furnishing that apartment together that you're going through that stuff together gives you a real sense of mutual investment in the project of your home or family not that it's a project that belongs to one person and not the other I think that's really good advice even if you're in a relationship that's totally unequal because it may be relationships can be unequal in a lot of different ways mm-hmm that's a wrap