Steroids: let me put you on game.

so we came to the hospital they ran the
test and i mean they were swift man you know we got to get you into surgery your main like main artery or something it's clogged up the left artery that supplies what your left side of the heart has been 100 it was 100 yes this will be a transparent video that everybody been waiting 14 years for 1994 to 2001 i got out i got into becoming a personal trainer and the stripper did well with that but i became a recidivist went back to prison four times that's when my curiosity of stats pads with pets roids whatever you want to call them came into play you know coming from prison i talk down all bodybuilders and people that use roids and all that like everybody else is probably watching you know i was one of those guys that's why i understand you guys oh them what dudes man i got videos you go back to my first videos i'm at diego's gym talking crap lifting a hundred pound dumbbell behind my head tricep extension little bodybuilders on royce can't do this [Music] i seen a video of jay cutler ronnie coleman flex willer they had all these cars and houses man and i'm like it's money like that in bodybuilding shoot maybe i should sign up i know i was too old for football or professional sports so i was like let me try that then doing research on roids and all that found a few people that can hook me up so i started testing the waters i had uh bought all the books i had googled every every day i used to google eight hours a day i was about 36 years old at that point i knew it wasn't a lot of money in bodybuilding so i was like nah it ain't worth it let me just focus on my youtube and social media at that point i was like i don't need to be on all this stuff if you go ahead and start taking testosterone right now your body's natural production is going to shut down because you're receiving it synthetically you receive synthetic testosterone your body's like hey i don't need to [ __ ] produce test anymore that's where the testicular atrophy comes from shrinking of the testicles because they're no longer necessary because you're injecting synthetic tests into your body and they shut down now you have a lot of testosterone in the body and you're getting bigger you're getting faster it's like you're going through puberty again but synthetically you're [ __ ] jacked you're dead your dick's always hard the [ __ ] wind blows you're like hey what's up dude great i loved it there's no feeling out there like taking 1500 migs of tests 600 migs of [ __ ] trend 100 makes an anna draw a day 10 ius of growth a day [ __ ] stiff dick in it it's wild it is what i mean i love it it's a superman drug i'm into them that's where my personality means i feel alive alive what happens when you stop taking testosterone your testicles just don't magically say hey i'm going to turn back on then now we have a [ __ ] problem now you don't produce testosterone your your your your dick doesn't work the same and then on top of that you're going to go into slight depression because now your hormones are a mess i recently quit taking high amounts of steroids i'm on trt i go to the doctors i had really good people in my life like dr prisk when i tore my tricep telling me to cut the [ __ ] [ __ ] the past year and a half has been mentally brutal on me because it's going through changes of identity because for 20 almost 20 years been geared out [ __ ] sauced and stiff dick in the [ __ ] day and i think some people get stuck in that mentality because this is all they have and and that and that's tough now on the other side my mentality for life has changed because i can't do that because it will [ __ ] kill me it will we all have to move on in life at some point because if we just continue to get stuck in our ways of this lifestyle it will [ __ ] kill you it's not a joke i eat 50 vegan i eat one red meat meal a week because i don't want to be in the news for that they ain't coming back you guys ain't coming back so i got on a trt which for me was like one uh cc of testosterone uh every 10 days and so i was able to sustain with that 2016 i decided i wanted to have kids so i went to ivf clinic did all the tests saw that my sperm was zero for me i thought i was always taking a minimal amount of uh pads or whatever stairs whatever you want to call it juice so evidently not it shut my sperm down completely i didn't use no steroids for about a year and a half because once she got pregnant i was like it's time to blast off so my girl got pregnant in 2018 i want to say i was a pessimist with the doctors conspiracy theorists with hospitals and all that stuff so i was like oh they just want my money i'm looking healthy and they jealous they trying to find something wrong with me you know they was always telling the truth i would ignore it and so when we did the ivf i did the physical same thing blood pressure high not abnormally high but high 150 over 90 or 80 something like that and i would say that oh y'all don't have a big enough arm thing to put on me yeah doctors even told me at times my cholesterol was high i had warning i always knew there was an issue you a bodybuilder if you've been on juice three four five years boy and because i'll tell you i took pride in saying i took the less stuff possible anybody on that juice bro you better go get checked out bro bro if you ain't been in this situation all you're doing is speculating i'm first hand in this situation where i thought i was doing everything i was cycling off i get off the three months that's why everybody would be he got small because i get off then i get back big yeah i always thought i was doing it right evidently i was and i know y'all ain't because you want to win a show so you ain't gonna never get off and guess what your system is f tall my advice would be stay fit just get your diet on point high repetition stay fit man there's no money in that stuff and you're risking your life we have a distinction in the english language that runs really deep between the things that you are and things that you have accomplishments you have done as opposed to the person you are the man that you became cali muscle was in prison for 11 years he's told this story again and again and again i don't know if he's adding up all the different jail sentences for a grand total of 11 years if it was a single 11 years tent some of the details i'm not clear on and as he tells the story he exercised rigorously the whole time he was in prison he built up this physical and mental discipline that from his perspective has benefited him for the rest of his life what if he'd had a different kind of notion of the man he wanted to be when he got out of prison what if he'd had 11 years in prison in which he was instead training himself to be a writer he thinks that lifting weights the doing push-ups that exercise made him into the man he is he looks in the mirror and he thinks this is who i really am is it or is it a kind of illusion created by drug addiction that could be the whole video you know this is the most transparent video i did on this topic or issue i'm an old man now so i don't give a damn if you really work hard to write a book if you really work hard to become an author an intellectual a researcher is that book just something you have is it just something you own you possess like an expensive car is it just a status symbol that you put on your shelf this book that happens to have your name on it as an author or is it the case that when you look in the mirror researching that book writing that book and developing yourself intellectually in all the ways that are reflected in the pages that book that that really did change the person you are in a way that's much more meaningful than doing an extra 200 push-ups or lifting an extra 200 pounds bro come on for what women don't even like my swole up like that at least not the super bad ones not the ig models [Laughter] they like you just fit trim with a whole lot of money endure and nice clothes nice call nice part take him to late late night [Laughter] this part of the video is interesting because he's he's trying to put you on game he's trying to let you know if you're a younger man out there making these sacrifices to have these enormous muscles that women don't even want you for your enormous muscles that all that these women care about is that you have money that you have an expensive car that you have jewelry or that you take them to an expensive nightclub he's reaching out to the audience here and saying look you assume that these women are going to want you for your body but actually they're just going to want you for your possessions let's be put they're going to want you for what you can do for them what you can buy for them what you can give them but there's a whole other paradigm here imagine if cali muscle instead had spent 11 years in a prison cell developing himself as an author developing the life of the mind instead of the life of the body he be in a position to say to his audience now look [Laughter] there are women out there in this world and they don't want you for your money and they don't want you for your car they don't care what car you drive they don't care if you're flat broke they'll support you and they don't care about your muscles and they don't care about your body and they don't care if you gain 50 pounds or you lose 50 pounds there are actually women in this world who are going to connect with you and have a meaningful relationship with you that can last for the rest of your life because they read your book because they read your articles because they appreciate you intellectually for who you are and for the life of the mind that you can live together believe it or not i get people writing the email asking for advice on this stuff and i think those people who are asking me for advice on some level they already know and they already fear what i'm going to tell them there's a reason why they're writing to me and not to a thousand health diet exercise gurus on the internet who will be happy to get the same email and tell them what they want to hear these people who write to me they remind me in a really weird way of the students i had in china when i was a university professor for just one year teaching english in a university in china the hardest thing in the world to do was to go up to these students and take away their cellular phone they had no concept of the life of the mind doesn't mean they were dumb some of them were smart some of them were sharp some of them were intelligent in some inherent sense they had no idea even of how to sit and pay attention and listen to a lecture and they had no concept of how to stand up in class and speak themselves and contribute they were at that level of intellectual disability and we all know in the 21st century they're the majority there are people who spend their whole lives with their heads down over a cell phone and the only time they look up is to look in the mirror and say who am i they look in the mirror they look at the reaction they're getting whether it's on instagram via dating app like tinder and they're not thinking about the extent to which if they really developed their minds if they really grew intellectually they would see a different person in the mirror there's something else not that they would have not that they would own nothing they would have accomplished not that they would have merely done there's another person and there's a better person that they can be and that is a person that cali muscle has never even taken five minutes to imagine because he grew up playing sports and he grew up watching action movies where there's a guy with this kind of body in a ripped shirt saving damsel in distress we all grew up with the same stuff and we i grew up watching those movies too we grow up with no idea of what it means to be an intellectual and whether we're locked into a prison cell for 11 years or we're locked into a university campus we go into that isolation you know we go into that opportunity without any clear concept of how to develop ourselves because we live in this culture where were not given any positive example of what it is to lead the life of the mind [Music] maybe we can we can practice