You work with people as they are, not as they should be.

this video talks about a couple of
issues that are related at least in my own mind but I think the fundamental issue I'm gonna reflect on here is the middle-aged mentality itself although I'm drawing on examples that ultimately relate to veganism to digital vegan demi-monde and activism you know I had someone I had someone write to me the other day someone who's a vegan here on YouTube and you know she's going through some problems in her life but nothing that reflects badly on her nothing that's her fault problems that from my perspective are as morally neutral as getting into a car accident like you know I don't think you're a bad person because you got into a car accident and she said to me look um I can't really talk to you now because I'm going through these problems if you want to cut off communication with me that's fine I'll understand other vegans on YouTube already have cut off communication with me I was I was shocked and she actually named a couple people who had who would cut her off I think you know I'm it was actually the middle of the school day I wrote her a quick answer but this was sincere I said to her um I wouldn't cut off communication with you if you had written to me saying that you just got a new job at a slaughterhouse cutting the throats of lambs every day I wouldn't cut off communication with you if you just told me that you got a new job in the special department for crimes against humanity in the American army you know it's like and some of these problems people go through the you know they're making this anonymous not gonna say but I mean problem she's going through they're not her fault they're not ethical decisions they're not loaded in the way that getting a job at a slaughterhouse would be and I mean some people they've tried to make fun of me I mean I've said also you know I was joking but I've said also that if I got a new girlfriend that wouldn't care if she worked in a slaughterhouse this kind of thing and that is partly me poking fun of myself because my whole life is one long morality lecture above veganism in case you hadn't noticed so you do you got a poke fun of yourself because you can't rely on others to poke fun at you um but I mean pausing to reflect why is that why would I say to someone and again sincerely you know I still want to be your friend I still want to know you I still want to touch you I still want to work with you in terms of this nascent movement these baby steps were taking the words veganism being an important movement in the world why would I say that even if somebody really did do something immoral like that or get-get some kind of questionable job and a slaughter I was in there for me you know part of it it really is the contrast between the middle-aged mentality and I guess the mentality that many of us in Western culture have coming out of the school system coming out of high school I think the other people who cut her off the other people who said to this vegan like oh lived this vegan oh I'm leaving arms Oh like you up you got some problems in your life so you I don't want to talk you anymore to me I think that really reflects a sense that's inculcated into us in the high school system that every few months you're forced into the company of a new room full of 40-plus people you got new friends assigned to you new people you have to work with people are easily replaced people are constantly being replaced and of course you're also told all the time that you're all equal you know there's that there's a very understandable social doctrine of equality that comes with with government based education a sense that people are equal interchangeable not just easily found but that their company is constantly being thrust on you and in high school this is my experience you're constantly being put into work groups where five strangers like four other kids you never talk to you before you're put together and now you got to do a school project right activism is not a school project very very few jobs in the real world once you leave school reflect that kind of pattern of the school project of people being thrust into each other's company I think for me part of my middle-age perspective on the world is just an appreciation that people are eerily pardon me hard to find irreplaceable can't be substituted for one another and whatever redeeming qualities you know that a person has you know there's both good and bad to it I think that my fundamental perspective is one of working with people as they are not working with people as they should be and the positive aspect of that is that what I've already mentioned is that conventional kinds of people in real life there are all kinds of people there all kinds of people where you know bad things about them there are a compulsive gambler or they're a former alcoholic they got there's something wrong with them there's something bad about them but you got to ask yourself is this someone I can work with is this someone I can't cooperate with in the movement maybe the answer is yes maybe the answer is no maybe they have a diagnosed mental disorder etc etc but you start off with this positive attitude of I've got to work with people as they are not as they should be the negative aspect is again in contrast maybe to the attitudes you might have had in high school or that I feel high school encourages that you you stop judging people in terms of their aspirations you stop judging people in terms of their potential and you just start judging them in terms of who they already are what they're already capable of their current capacity their current competence so that really cuts both ways I remember an interview this is just you guys know I listen to hip-hop it was just on hip hop media as a former hip-hop artist a female singer and the interviewer is asking her about her love life and she just said in the middle of this interview I'm past the point where I judge people based on their potential I judge people on you know who they are what they've already done and not not based on their hopes and dreams not pasting their potential not based their aspiration and maybe that sounds good but it's not it's actually narrow-minded and doubtless you know a major part of the middle-age mentality is really a form of narrow mindedness you know but I gotta say for me that's the ambivalence of it and that's how it fits into you know what I'm doing on YouTube and this long-term project that I see my youtube channel is being of making connections that can be useful for real activism real advocacy really building a foundation to make a difference in the world real real community you know in some sense - and and real friends real friendships on the one hand yeah I was not joking when I said to that person I would still accept you I would still want to be friends yet still want to be in contact with you if you literally got a job in the slaughterhouse and frankly I'd want to know I'd want to know what perspective know I want to know what it's like if she got some job in the military I'd want to hear about that - I'd be I think I'd be sympathetic maybe I'm wrong maybe some for that please my sympathy and we'd stop talking you know life's full of surprises you know that that sense of working with people as they are that's one side of it but then on the other hand you know there's a that you you lose the openness to embracing somebody or working with somebody not because of who they are not because of what they've done but just because of who they aspire to be I think for most of us when you get into your 30s that disappears from your life and [Music] that's an attitude that's pragmatic but it's maybe a little bit bleak you don't want to be the guy who when somebody sits down and talks to you just scoffs at their dreams but part of middle age I think is inevitably scoffing at the gap between people's pretensions and the reality of what they're doing with their lives and just to give one example from you know from my day-to-day experience here i sat down with someone recently who said you know she said she respects all sentient beings equally she eats meat every day she's not a vegan she's not vegetarian that's why she said it you know so there's there's something that's not looking forward to the future there it's a gap between what you practicing what you preach or your ideals and you really are um you know oh yeah what does that mean if you really have equal respect for cows and chickens and humans I'd say I laughed right there face it to me that was actually hilarious you know and if you meet someone and they're they're still really trying to sell you on their hopes and dreams and aspirations their ideals projected into the future it's hard to quote an obscure rap song by a little B you know a lot of people got potential but who's really holding hey that's it like whole middle-aged people I guess I try to have the best of both worlds I guess really what I want is that the flexibility and open-mindedness of the younger attitude but also to have the mm demanding and more incisive perspective that I've gained at middle age