The 3DS eshop: what to buy before it's too late.

over 75 million people around the world own one of these things and in case you haven't been connected to the internet in the last five minutes you may not know about 76 million people around the world are freaking out because they have just discovered that they are about to lose the opportunity now and forever to download new software from the eshop now i know what you're thinking i know what you're thinking this is a cause for political turmoil this is a cause for something like a civil war i feel entitled just because i've given nintendo so much of my time and so much of my money i deserve something back no you don't there's a civil war in myanmar okay if you want to get involved if you want to get involved with a political conflict you got options in this life you are in the position to do one thing and one thing only and that is to come on youtube click on a youtube video like this one and reflect on the question of whether or not there's anything you want to buy and you want to download before it's too late now i think most people's thinking about this is 180 degrees the wrong way around you're thinking are there any games that are so wonderful that are so enjoyable that are so great that i'm gonna regret it if i don't buy them that i'm gonna regret it if i don't spend 100 hours playing them from start to finish i think that's the wrong question that's going to lead you to the wrong answer there are games that are terrible there are games that are a complete waste of your time and a complete waste of your money but you should buy them anyway because you will regret it if you don't behold the glory of mario calculator is it a good game no is it worth your money no even if it were half the price they are charging it would still be a rip-off it's a complete waste of your time it's a complete waste your money buy it anyway download it and buy it today because if you don't you will regret it for the rest of your life 10 years from now 20 years from now you are going to be sitting there with your nintendo 2ds 3ds or even gotten thinking damn it i me i missed my chance and no you know i own this thing doesn't have any practical value in my life once in a while i joke with my girlfriend that we can convert between fahrenheit and centigrade with mario sound effect no of course it's garbage but buy it anyway [Music] here's another great example 3d classics excite bike is it a good game no is it even the best version of this game no is it worth the money no absolutely not it is ludicrously overpriced for what it is is it worth your time if you buy it you will never play it for more than five minutes in a sitting i would be shocked if you play this for more than 30 minutes a year but if you don't buy it of course you will regret it for the rest of your life you'll be sitting there wondering if only i knew how much worse this version of the game is than the [ __ ] famicom disc system version that was only released in japan but you can't know that unless you waste your time and waste your money right now before they close the eshop you will miss your chance to be disappointed if you don't download and buy it so go ahead make the wrong decision because there is no right way to fail the sega classics 3d collection is this worth your time no is this worth your money no not at all if you don't buy it and if you don't buy two copies of it there's no way you can ever play puyo puyo with your girlfriend while you are sitting in two separate rooms oh you think that doesn't matter you think that's not important in your life your girlfriend could have diarrhea she's sitting on the toilet having diarrhea you're lying in bed or doing jumping jacks in the living room or whatever you want to play puyo puyo well one of you's got diarrhea and one doesn't you're telling me that's not worth the money of course it's not worth the money but if you don't invest now if you don't make that decision now you will forever miss your chance in general the whole phenomenon of sega remaking and reissuing its games on the 3ds you can just say in each and every case is this the best way to play the game no is this the best version of the game no are you going to be disappointed if you spend the money on it yes but if you don't you know five years from now it's going to be burning away your soul that you you could have owned a you know sonic one you could have owned uh what is it not ninja gaiden the other ninja sorry they all wear the same mask whatever the sega ninja game shinobi you could have owned shinobi 350 3ds and you missed your chance again is this the best version of shinobi three is this best way to play no are you gonna be disappointed yes but if you don't buy it you'll always wonder and you'll later regret it [Music] have you ever wanted to buy something that would help you learn a language and it's so expensive and so pretentious and so annoying that you'll feel guilty if you don't study that language maybe you should consider the option of buying the guided tour of the louvre museum in france in in your choice of a language you don't speak yet or you haven't mastered yet i bought this in spanish i paid a ludicrous amount of money to get 30 hours of lectures in spanish about art and archaeology and history so that i can feel guilty that i'm not listening to it and right now i'm wondering with the eshop closing maybe maybe i should spend even more money so that i also own the version that's in french you could buy the english the spanish and the french but if you don't before you know it it'll be too late and that opportunity is gone remember wasting time and wasting money are two completely different things you can own all six mega man games on your 3ds and it doesn't take up any space and it doesn't take up any time as long as you don't play them and even though this is not the best way to play those games as with practically everything else on the 3ds even if you can say that something is a good game like cursed castilla like oh that remake of castlevania curse of the moon like the remake of blaster master blaster master zero even if it is a good game the 3ds version is never the best version of that game in some cases it's not even a good version a thousand and one spikes the worst possible version you could buy is on the 3ds but it's your last chance to get it now and with any of these if you don't buy it if you don't buckle down a bite if you don't amass these intrinsically worthless digital copies of downloadable titles now you're going to be an old man 10 years from now 20 years from now 40 years from now you're going to be wiping the dust off of your 3ds and reflecting and wondering what if i could take a guided tour of the louvre museum in france in a language i can't understand and what if i spent the last 20 years of that guild trip hanging over my head because i bought that software would have been living with the pressure on me to try a little harder to learn that language so that ultimately is what nintendo's model of digital consumerism is all about accumulating things that you won't enjoy but that you will suffer by not owning so you won't enjoy owning these things but if you don't own them you will suffer from their absence so i've got to ask myself a tough question today i already own mario 3 on like six different platforms how many ways do i have to play mario 3 and i don't even want to play it i never need to play that [ __ ] game again never i don't even think it's a great game it's just kind of so-so but if i don't if i don't pay nintendo more money to download mario 3 again on my 3ds today i might never have the chance to do it [Music]