Mixing Money and Sex: "It Ruined My Life".

how are you i am 20 years old 20.
and are you working or studying i am a full-time student uh at the moment as well as uh working part-time as a hostess at a restaurant that's right you enjoy that i do enjoy um you know i meet all kinds of different people and they really think it teaches you how to handle yourself what made you want to come to a poem video uh you know it's always been like a secret fantasy of mine so why not now right what's the way um you know the world is my oyster [Music] at some point following the shooting of the video jane doe 22 sought treatment for anxiety and depression she cannot recall the name of the psychologist the reason she saw a psychologist stem from the emotional distress she experienced in shooting the video she's lost relationships has a son whose father is unknown feels hopeless about her future because people that she cares about have called her vile names such as horror and [ __ ] telling her that she will never be anything more than that she feels that this was very damaging to her self-esteem causing her to go into depression and have anxiety attacks she then reflects that if she hadn't made this one decision quote she thinks she would still be in school maybe not a single parent and would be on a whole different path in life she wouldn't be on the career path that she's currently on in some and substance she feels the pornographic video shoots have ruined her life close quote this is a remarkable contrast to the eager optimistic tone that we find in the interview at the start of that self-same pornographic video you know i've always had like a weird secret fantasy about it and never really thought about actually doing it until i questioned myself why not you know so it's an opportunity for everything so do you have a boyfriend i do not how many guys have you been with i would say about ten about ten that's a good round number yeah and did you tell anyone you're coming to this video today uh yeah i told uh two of my girlfriends what'd they have to say about it uh they laughed and they said go for it and to have fun enjoy myself i can sympathize and i do sympathize with her sentiment that it was just this one bad decision that ruined her life however each of us in our own lives has occasion to reflect on one momentous bad decision and most of the time with further analysis we realized that there were many facts and many factors perhaps even many bad decisions that we made ourselves that led to the terrible outcome that led to the scenario we wish in our mind's eye we could have avoided if only that one decision had been made differently jane doe attended college at indiana university south bend but dropped out before learning her videos were posted online at first when i read this i assumed this meant that she had dropped out of college before she filmed the pornographic video at all but in fact the timeline is quite peculiar she lost faith in college and dropped out of college during the period in time in which she had filmed the video but the video had not yet been posted on the internet with the inevitable consequences of everyone in her personal life finding out that she was so to speak a porn star whatever the facts and factors leading up to that decision to drop out of school might have been it's remarkable to know that the consequences of filming this porn video could not have been one of them likewise it's self-evident that at the time she filmed this video she already had elective surgery to enlarge her breasts she had breast augmentation surgery in plain english a boob job so that decision was made long before she got involved in stripping or appearing in porn and as she says on camera repeatedly this is something she'd fantasized about this is something she thought about this is something she really wanted to do long before she decided to do it returning to the text of the verdict quote currently jane doe is employed at a place called blank where she has worked as an entertainer i.e as a stripper or exotic dancer i am here censoring the judgment it states the name of the establishment where she is employed since september 2018 previously she had worked as an entertainer at an establishment called blank commencing in september 2017 she left when it closed in 2018 before working at blank the name of a strip club that i'm deleting here she worked at blank and this seems to have been either a hardware store or a component shop or a place handling parts for cars and trucks she worked there as a customer service representative her duties involved order entry taking phone calls and parts knowledge she ceased working there in roughly september of 2016. jane doe quit this job because she was in a bad place she was distressed with people knowing about the videos so there certainly is a tragic downward spiral here but it's one that began before she filmed the pornographic video it seems quite likely that at the time she decided to have breast augmentation surgery many of these thoughts were already in her head that she could have a career as a porn star that she could have a career as a stripper and she pursued both of these things and of course it's not easy to draw a simple cause and effect relationship between the fact that she starred in this particular movie and that she finds herself now a single parent that she has a son with as of underlined here in red no known father so this isn't just the tale of one bad decision that ruined her life although i certainly sympathize that when she looks back on her life it might really seem that way that might be the way it feels to her today so you're about to do your first adult video and how old are you i'm 20. how many guys have you been with before um i think six six six or seven do you think yeah somewhere somewhere in the six or seven i don't know it's a good number that's it and how often do you have one that stands not often when i'm single basically do you ever cheat on your boyfriend no no person woman man camera tv on some deep unexamined level i think that many women in the audience may feel unsympathetic towards the victims in this case on the grounds that they imagine correctly this would never happen to me that sentiment however is utterly irrelevant to politics the fact that you might never be a victim of racism doesn't mean that racism doesn't matter the fact that you might be too intelligent to ever be duped by a cult to be drawn into exploit a different religious group that takes all your money away from you that doesn't mean you shouldn't have legislation to protect people who are foolish enough to become victims of a cult the fact that you personally may even have moral characteristics that make you immune to the possibility of losing all your money through gambling the fact that you may be immune to drug addiction because you're just not the sort of person who would ever be successful that is irrelevant to the political consideration of any of these social problems and what their solutions might be we have to write laws that protect the weakest among us the most foolish among us the most gullible among us and yes although it's uncomfortable to talk about many of us are simply not attractive enough to ever be targeted by the sex industry to ever end up as sex workers or exploited in this way and that too is irrelevant to moral consideration here what if religious freedom entails the perpetual victimization of people who are too stupid or too naive to doubt and scrutinize religion does that mean that we should be indifferent to those people however stupid they must be to be willing to pay someone money to say a prayer or perform a ritual to cure their illness should we just say well let the buyer beware if you're not shrewd enough or you're not smart enough to figure out that religion is a scam then you deserve to be scammed and this society and this legal system doesn't owe you anything to protect you and there are no laws to protect me why should i sympathize with those who are shall we say lacking this immunity even if it is just an immunity rooted in cynicism if freedom of religion means that you can promise someone a magical ritual that will cure their cancer and you can charge any price in that context is freedom of religion a good thing what if sexual freedom means the perpetual victimization of people who are too stupid or too naive to doubt and scrutinize these offers of fame these offers of money these offers of attention and let's not be jejune the sex itself is part of what draws these women in many many many of them say on camera that one of the reasons they're doing this is for the sexual experience as such you may feel secure that you are not one of those people who is so stupid or so naive to be drawn in by what's on offer here and to ignore what it's going to cost you that you wouldn't be capable of ignoring the terrible long-term consequences that it would have in your life but some people are some people are so stupid some people are so naive and in all of these cases whether it be freedom of religion or the freedom to gamble or the freedom to exploit your own sexuality we have to question at what point does this freedom become a danger to those who are susceptible and thus when you scale it up at what point does it become a problem for a society as a whole to step in and solve do you have a boyfriend yeah does he know you're here today no no what does he think you are he thinks i'm either at work or at home or with my friend but my friends don't know why i'm here so you kind of just told them all a lie i just didn't ask if they didn't ask and you don't answer it's not a lie true so what do you think you'd say if you knew you were here uh are you [ __ ] kidding me what would you want to say or um you'd be pretty mad he'd be really bad [Music] when she learned that the video was online from her boyfriend at the time jane doe 2 was scared and anxious soon thereafter she learned that everyone at her job knew about the video and people were gossiping so she stopped going to work without giving notice many people from her high school who learned about the video called her derogatory names and she lost friends as a result her family found out about the video and even they have lost friends as a result jane doe attempted to change her appearance because she was afraid of going out in public she testified that she isolated herself and avoided all interactions she has experienced severe anxiety and panic attacks which still occur today jane doe testified definitively that she would not have filmed the videos if she had known that the defendants owned and operated a website and that the video would be public jonathan told jane doe 2 the video would be distributed on dvds overseas he never mentioned online distribution she was told the video was for a quote-unquote private buyer she spoke to one of the references to assured her quote i didn't have to worry about it in terms of my concern of where the videos would go and who would see it and my privacy close quote do you ever cheat on your boyfriend no no does he know you're here today no no what does he think you are he thinks i'm either at work or at home or with my friend what do you think you'd say if you knew you were here uh are you [ __ ] kidding me what would you want to say it or um you'd be pretty mad he'd be really bad this is the moral tension that i think most viewers in the audience feel in looking back and evaluating this case and then looking to the future the way in which the internet is leading millions and millions of people to commodify their sexuality these women in this particular court case plead that they were unaware of the consequences of their actions but when you just consider the position her boyfriend was left in when you consider the position her parents were left and when considered the position her employers and even her school teachers were left in the attitude implicitly of the women pleading their case would seem to be this they have the right to prostitute themselves they have the right to appear in pornography and if all of these other people can't handle it then that's their problem did you tell anybody that you're gonna do this no not a single soul in the world knows huh wow so how do you think um your friends and family would react if they knew oh they would not be happy no no are you in a relationship right now i am you are so you would hear her how would they react yeah he would not be very happy but he's a little bit that southern conservative right so yeah you're a little you're pretty nervous to come here and uh some [ __ ] almost tried to talk you out of coming isn't that true he still thinks i'm not here so he doesn't have a clue no one has a clown no one's gonna find out the attitude implicitly of the women pleading their case would seem to be this they have the right to prostitute themselves they have the right to appear in pornography and if all these other people can't handle it then that's their problem if their boyfriend can't handle it then that's their problem and if society as a whole can't handle it then that's society's problem they ought to be able to do this with impunity they ought to be able to have all the advantages of exploiting their beauty in order to achieve both fame and money without the disadvantages that side of the moral equation i think makes everyone in the audience feel uncomfortable to think about whether we're looking back at the past or looking to the future because this problem is not going away it's only going to increase in scale and intensity so what are you here to do today i am here to be in a amateur film really what kind of amateur film um porn so what made you want to come and have sex on camera i just needed the money and i've always been a fan of sex yeah i am a college student and i do work a part-time job yeah at a shoe store so you said you just quit your job i did i put in my two weeks i was ready to be done so this is part of my new start shortly thereafter jane doe nine was dismissed from her teaching job because the faculty and students at her school had found an article about her on a gossip website when the principal at the school where she worked sent her a copy of the article which contained her picture and name the name of her school and a caption stating she had quote no business working with school children close quote i think you in the audience can guess how antics ensued jane do9 also learned that the principles of human resources personnel at her school received anonymous emails about the video saying she should not be working with students her text messages with the principal of the school showed her distressed and desperate state of mind she hired an attorney who was able to negotiate a resolution in which she would receive pay through the end of her contract jane do99 moved to a new city because of the video and found another job in her chosen field the following year the faculty and staff at her new school have not yet learned about the video but she is fearful every day that they will quote i'm afraid of losing my job every day i'm fearful that you know if i get called down to the office and i don't know what for i'm fearful that the exact same thing is going to happen to me all over again how do you feel about this issue you could say with great certainty it's never going to happen to me and you know what it won't but it's going to happen to somebody it's going to happen to some of us year after year more and more unless we come up with something with some better way of organizing a society to achieve something parallel to the separation of church and state the separation of money from sex hi i'm titanic sinclair people often ask me titanic why do you make videos and sometimes that is a very difficult question to answer if you ask me why i make youtube videos i'd probably say because it's fun and it helps people and it's some kind of creative outlet but in reality a big part of why i'm a youtuber is because i secretly love the money the fame and the social status that it gives me a lot of people do not believe in themselves and i i think that is a very sad thing people should believe in themselves people should believe in themselves because there are so many reasons to believe in yourself