Why I'm NOT Depressed (vs. Kalel, Henya Mania & Supreme Banana)

no no I know I know it's just a sad
topic was it we're talking about sadness we're talking about the topic [Laughter] Banas yen you've probably already guessed what this video is about from the title the background of this video is that lately okay step one was we watched this garbage video from a natural vegan in which she repeatedly tells vegan gains to get professional help not just speaking games but anybody who feels that they know anybody who hates kids anybody doesn't want kids in the same way being gains as some kids anybody who already has kids and regrets having kids who kind of like abroad right it's a get get professional help and I thought that was a really sanctimonious and insincere thing and it really made me stop and reflect in my life like dude most of the time there is no professional help for these questions we're talking about for these problems really there is no professional help and we've seen a number of different youtubers talk about how suicidal and depressed they are despite having lives that are basically completely devoted to their own self-indulgence permanent vacation or what-have-you for me I mean I don't I don't care about kal-el kal-el is vegan and it was stumbled on her channel the other day ouu asked me Oh is she vegan and I said yes and that is the only interesting thing about her channel I have nothing else interesting to say about the kal-el phenomenon but yes she is vegan and she had a she had a video up with a black thumbnail you know all black on screen talking about how depressed and suicidal she is you know we hear from people across the spectrum how they're teetering on the edge of you know suicide self-destruction depression often in the midst of lives of relative opulence self-indulgence where they're just living for their own entertainment and what-have-you if you want to sit and listen to all my white people problems first world problems listen to this 45 minutes yeah yeah but I would even say this was kind of touching we watched a documentary last night that was closer to an art film it was a documentary presented soap Stockman film was a real American art film and it included looking at people who were living in these gated communities in the United States where they're objectively rich they're living in objectively very expensive conditions expensive cars expects expensive homes expensive golf courses and they're miserable now look I just wanna say this so to make a comparison to earning money I've earned remarkably little money in my life lives a wonderful life full and rich hang what have you but if someone said to me well aisel you're a smart guy why haven't you earned more money which once a lot of people say to me once the wild people said to me they said you know why didn't you play the stock market or something one of the realities is I didn't earn a lot of money in my life because I was not trying to earn money that was not my objective I didn't go to Cambodia to earn money I went to Cambodia to live in poverty you do more than just that but you know I didn't go to Laos to earn money I didn't go to First Nations University to earn money when I went to study Korean a joke but most of the major decisions I made my life were not about earning money what I was doing with my time then is you've never made so it's not surprising that when you look at my life as a whole I haven't earned that much money because that wasn't was trying to do what's extra strange about some of these examples we see on YouTube which are very real very raw first-person testimony it's really different from reading an article in a newspaper you see someone sit down on camera and tell you that their suicide I'll tell you that they're depressed it carries a lot of weight it's very real and this is one of the great things about YouTube even if I'm not interested in these particular examples you know I'm not really that interested in Jacqueline Glan I'm really not that interesting how these people or not not that interested me but what sinners to me is they are trying to be happy so I can parallel to the money thing like if your flat broke and all your time and energy has been devoted to trying to get money like you know you've just been tried that's what that's your over and then you're broke okay that's interesting that's a problem that someone's look that's completely different from my situation if you're miserable and suicidal and all you've been trying to do is be happy you've just been living for that you know that glow I don't know how to put it that I think that carries a lot more weight that's a lot more serious and we saw a monologue from a vegan last night we'll leave it anonymous we saw a model from a vegan woman last night she's about 40 now and she was reflecting on the advice she would to her younger self and thus advice she's give me the younger people day and it was so weird to me that all of her advice was just about have fun enjoy life be happy like that's really what she's got to say to young people and what she wishes she done when she looks back at her life right so I get my girlfriend could jump in anytime but I'm not forcing her to comment underneath this like my perspective on these issues is profoundly profoundly different and I am self-critical what we're getting into here is what Arthur Schopenhauer called practical philosophy I think it's really a shame that his concept of practical philosophy didn't take off when he used the term practical practical philosophy he said look this is not theoretical philosophy this is not metaphysics this is just talking about how we live our lives how we think about our lives how we feel about our lives how how we live as a separate category and that needs to exist alongside the more metaphysical abstract theoretical and indeed political questions in philosophy right now I really do have a practical philosophy that I live by and it's not something pretentious I got out of a book it's not something I preached to others on the contrary thing in this video I wanna make it clear this won't work for everyone and in some ways it doesn't even work for me but it really is the answer to the question why am I not depressed why am I not suicidal you know now you know why am I not miserable like Cowell or something but also when you look back at different points of my life that were really dark really horrible you know intersections in my life whatever Marseille moments of change or devastation I think why was I not suicidal why was I not depressed then right so like implicitly in many many of my videos you'll hear me talk about what I'm doing in my life and why I'm doing it in terms of two categories I talked about research and humanitarian work again and again and again that's implicit and how I'm presenting what I'm doing in life it's like in they may not be in that order I may say humanitarian work first ever so say something like well I moved to Saskatchewan at that time with a combination of research and humanitarian humanitarian interests you know I started studying the Cree language with a combination of research and humanitarian interests I was living in Cambodia in pursuit of a combination of research and human interests you know I was in Laos learning the language and studying Pali ancient manuscripts stone inscriptions doing humanitarian work blah blah blah the siddur stuff combination of research in human interest I say that all the time and to simplify that really is my practical philosophy that is how I live that's why my life is so different from kal-el's life right now I wanna point this out especially for white Americans late Americans tend to kind of put things in in separate compartments in a different way from white British people or white Australian observation like for white Americans I think a lot of the time like religion is a separate category and politics is a separate category and obviously humanitarian work and that kind of thing it very often does fall into you know so this is my real life over here then this is politics and religion or they have some some separate areas that are that are different from your real life when I talk about these two categories you know humanitarian work and and research interests it's a hundred percent political it's totally political you know the research I'm doing is my political life and the combination of research and imager interests that is my real life you know I mean it's not like separate from that there's the real me and who I really am or how I really feel or what's going on that that that is it's not in a separate category you know so I mean some people know what I'm talking about here and some people want I once heard a criticism of white culture by a black american pimp he was one of these guys who'd been a pimp and then retired and wrote on a biography that was a hit book about what it's like being a pimp and the interviewer asked him he said why do you think that the behavior of black pimps african-american paps is so different from white american pimps and that was his reply he said white americans always want to have a separate category where they say this is the real me this is who I really am this is my real life and it's separate from my job except for my passion aside and he said I don't do that we don't like people like him don't do that he said you know if he and bright like the identity of being a pimp is who he really is that's this whole thing you know now am i obviously in some ways a bit of a dark and morally dubious example but I still think that that's a really interesting point and I did feel that when I was talking to other white people in Laos Cambodia I remember like I'd have conversations of people and they kind of asked like so who are you from what are your interests and stuff sorry who are you where are you from what are your interests you know those are those kinds of those kinds of questions and you know I'd have to say back in like the least pretentious way possible like look I'm at this point I'm from here like I've been living in Laos for two years I don't have any other home to go to I don't have like a circle of friends waiting to meet me back in Canada I don't have a good ongoing life again this is where I'm from this is what I'm all about these are all my interests all my energy and passion is going into this research I'm doing in Laos this humanitarian work I want to do and that both categories are totally political you know I mean like the humanitarian work is linked to political aspirations the research even if it's historical research is all politically loaded it's part of my political life like yeah this is one of the so of course even living in real poverty in Laos even living in conditions that are way harder than what kal-el is living him you know I mean no shade but you know but lives I was sometimes living in really really rough conditions with the mosquitoes and the malaria and the leeches and all that all that stuff you know uh but even when I lived in the big city my my conditions were pretty rough in Laos hey Mike I could talk about but I was I was not depressed I was not suicidal I was happy as hell I was doing stuff that I found really meaningful I guess the only other thing it's a really really short thing I don't think of life in terms of suffering versus not suffering I think of life in terms of the distinction between meaningful suffering and meaningless suffering I mean that is also difference for me and all these people they said watched a whole bunch of different videos lately this documentary it's like I don't see my life in terms of avoiding misery I see it in terms of want to embrace and engage with the misery that I think is meaningful and rewarding and leads to something useful you know what I mean as opposed to suffering away that I think is pointless dead-ended counterproductive meaningless right you know I mean and for me a lot of the things people do for fun I perceive as meaningless suffering going on a ski trip or something and people put a lot of time a lot of money a lot of energy into going on a ski trip no me the planning and the trip and everything else you know but I just say a lot of things people do with their time that they may consider it's fun I may consider to be to be meaningless misery you know so look uh now I said before I present is that I am so critical I don't think this is a solution for everyone I don't think this is a practical philosophy that work for everyone and I'm even critical the extent to which it does not work for me or it has bad results for me and as bad outcomes for me right I've been through some really dark periods in my life when I was in Cambodia and I quit my job I wasn't fired I quit for ethical reasons because my employer was doing things I considered immoral and unethical within the humanitarian nonprofit sector so I quit on point of principle and it was like I put so much effort into learning cambodian as a language and you know i was flat broke it was in this apartment where i now couldn't afford the rent because in cambodia you got to stay in an apartment with the security guards otherwise you get robbed because you're a white person looking at cambodia just saying you can't choose to live in a really cheap apartment in cambodia because there get robbed every week and even though i didn't know anything valuable they'll take your computer now you've lost all the work and all the research you did so you know you've got it you got to make some tough decisions like that and it's like sitting there looking at all this work I'd done on Cambodia historical political linguistic humanitarian and like okay am I gonna throw this in the garbage and take on a new direction and we looked at all kinds of options the time was like I'm not gonna move to Korea am I going to move back to Europe am I gonna move to Canada like we could have moved to Europe at that point me and my ex-wife you know we you know there was like all these different options or you know am I gonna double down on Cambodia that could've been anything you say no dammit I'm committed to Cambodia you're gonna move to Siem Reap and get a low-paying job in the tourism industry or something you know what I mean like I'm gonna stick with Cambodia I'm gonna stick with this even though that's it's a bad option in some ways I'm gonna double down this commit you know there were times like that that's a really good example we're living by this philosophy leaves me do a point that nevertheless is really is really depressing what have you I've got to say though you know at that juncture that's a good good example I wasn't depressed I wasn't suicidal because all of those things are still meaningful to me in principle right like the humanitarian work I do isn't pointless even when it's ended badly you know what I mean like even when it's come to a conclusion which is me quitting the job me quitting humanitarian work over a point of moral principle you know what I mean I'm not gonna feel bad about that because that's something that's still meaningful to me now it's kind of the meaningfulness of it continues on past my ability to actually practice that or do that in that context in Cambodia and you already know this but in some ways exactly the same issues that animated me and motivated me in Laos and Cambodia motivated me when I got back to Canada when I was in Saskatchewan and enrolled it's totally different situation but then I'm dealing with the curry in the ajeeb and those humanitarian issues and those political issues and so on so it really in that sense were means something very positive for me even when my life is in a situation of total total disaster total ruination you know I mean when it's when it's objectively a very depressing situation ultimately for me this philosophy of life isn't about making myself happy it isn't about my own education or my own you know area edition or something it is ultimately about outcomes it's about making the world a better place it's about having those those impacts so for that reason it's necessarily a source of suffering when I can't have those those Ockham's when I can't make a pause the difference which is what motivates me to live this way in the first place it is weird for me to watch so that one video where there's the vegan giving advice to younger vegans saying just enjoy your life just have fun she also said like don't fall in love like don't fall in love with one person like you know as if I guess the point is just date a bunch of random people you don't care much for or something is better it is really strange for me to see other people some vegans I'm not vegan whatever who are endorsing a life of kind of self-indulgence the aimless pursuit of happiness when you know at the same time sometimes the same people talk about how miserable it makes them how it brings them to the edge of suicide and depression again and again when they're not pursuing any other goal you know they're just trying to be happy and they fail it's not deep but it's real so I want to keep this conversation going I really do and we got that we got the camera running but look you know one theme touched on in the video we just recorded is this idea that there is no professional help professional for some things not for others a lot of the time people will just tell you get professional for you and I both a major source of stress and unhappiness in our lives is our career path how to take our education and get a career out of it this kind of thing yeah and of course it's a reason to be unhappy it's a reason to be depressed and it's a reason to just be miserable whatever and it's a real problem most people deal with definitely more than 50 percent of people deal with and at the modern Western world now my experience even going to people where their job description was career counselor or a job counselor like where they have a door and the sign on it says career counselor my experience that really was you know what there is no professional help you'd go to the people or supposed to give you professional help and there really is no professional and I mean your experience was you're just out a little bit when you would say to people openly like you're really unhappy because your job and career situation and they would say to you well why don't you get on xanax sir why don't you get on antidepressants like they would treat it as a psychological problem I guess could say they would internalize the problem instead of ever wanting to deal with like the material world like the outside world reality of it planning for the future yeah I don't think anybody felt comfortable saying that you know of course my parents would say you should pursue this career you know you'll make a lot of money if you do this or this and but you know my friends we're not gonna say you should you should you know get out of your relationship you should you know do something else with your career right yeah yeah but I mean it's kind of the most obvious thing and it's weird that it's it's received in the background is you're unhappy because the reality of what your life is there for change the reality of your life you know what I mean like for most of human history that was the only option aside from getting drunk or using opium we've had opium for all of human civilization it's not a new drug we've had it for thousands of thousands of years you know opium and alcohol have been around doesn't seem that bad you know like some people that I talk to they like for life could be a lot harder for you I think but that's wait no no but that's why I put the emphasis on meaningful versus meaningless right like it's not about is it objectively bad it's about is it meaningful or meaningless all right like you can earn a good living as a tax accountant doing accountancy for for taxes but if you find it meaningless you know what I mean and some of your work has been pretty close to doing taxes I mean it's been paperwork you know what I mean and you know the work I did like trying to solve the AIDS crisis in Cambodia sorry no joke that was some of the humanitarian work I did yeah it also it maybe involve paperwork it may involve numbers like it involved a lot of math a lot of it was detailed mathematic it's meaningful to me because it's connected to some humanitarian some political and research-based obviously I'm learning a lot of new stuff about aids in Cambodia yeah that's only one example of a project I was involved a whole bunch different what was another one mentioned my CV you know the project about labor conditions in factories in Cambodia now you know like like objectively me sitting at a desk doing some of the math might look the same as somebody working on taxes you know we're doing accounts do you know what I mean but there's a meaningful versus meaningless distinction there and I think I mean I think my my salary you know I don't remember maybe was $800 a month I was a really really low salary and of course you have to pay for your airplane ticket you know around the world to fly to Cambodia and do the work and you have to you have to live in an apartment building with a security guard gets down to help the Dolphins dangerous and someone there all these other costs built into it you know yeah yeah but I'm not upset right now no no I know I know it's just a sad topic was it we're talking about sadness you you you float around the apartment blissed-out sometimes yeah and I'm trying to work out and you're just sitting there on a cloud smiling at me you stare it at me with big with stars in your eyes no I know I know you literally float around in a haze of yeah I know I know I know you're right now your blisters but we also talked about the murmurs to the future I sometimes say to you like look I know you're really happy now but I have you know my job takes up very little of my time here you know we both have a lot of free time it's very real it's maybe when we get back to Canada I think it's gonna be much more stressful it's gonna be harder for you to be happy so I sometimes warn her that way - like don't well you know don't take for granted that right now we we have this relation kind of special service which is a great way to start a relationship it's great to start later with six months where we spend a ton of a ton of quality time together but I don't care about this but your point is a lot of friends a lot of people in your life would just say to you well objectively it's not that bad like objectively you don't have anything to be unhappy about right but like you know you should but what we're talking about you should get professional well what we're talking about here is so subjective it can't be about objective reality it has to be about you know subjectively is your life meaningful or meaningless are you enjoying doing what you're doing in life those are intensely ineluctably subjective things yeah I remember when I first started college the university that I went to was doing this project and having every incoming freshman complete this this project what makes life worth living yeah I just remember like that being a really depressing topic for me because yeah at the time I didn't have a good answer and it was something really that you know to think about some people I'd like you know goofy answers like yeah complete collection of Nintendo 64 hey mr. sighn yeah but ultimately you know it's something that you have to decide for yourself in and I think what you've talked about in your prior video that does make life worth living like for me yeah I don't know I don't know what percentage of people that's gonna work for ya you know as a spiritual philosophy I don't know if other people would drive them to suicide you know what I mean you know seriously seriously keeping it keeping all the real but you know I don't wanna I don't want to hate on the psych ward you know I mean I'm not here to say psychiatrists and therapists can't help anybody with any problems in our private conversations I use this example a lot of people who have a phobia a simple phobia like fear of insects fear of spiders they go in and they have a psychiatrist or therapist or some some kind of professional gives them professional help with their fear of spiders and they actually get over it they actually get cured look at the beginning of the process there were terrified of spiders and it really impacted their daily life in many ways I read an example of a woman who wouldn't get into her own car without first spraying it with insecticide because the fear that there were spiders in the dark nooks and crannies of her car that she couldn't see without even seeing a spider was just ruling her mind all day she was just constantly thinking about spiders and she she got help she got professional help and it just disappeared from her life she didn't care about spiders anymore you know she wasn't sprained sections that everyone that's kind of thing spiders king of it so there are I wish we had two different words in English language with us there are some problems you can get professional help for but it's kind of mind-blowing how often people say get professional help for problems where there is no professional help and where professionals can't do anything for you aside from sit down and give you the opportunity to monologue which of course we have here on on YouTube we can just monologue on you and I think for a lot of people it can even have a very negative effect where having someone in a lab coat having an authority figure doesn't matter what kind of clothing they're wearing having someone who's a scientific authority figure sit down and reify your problems you know array if I your point of view that your perspective matters your point of view matters your feelings matter your feelings are real yeah I worked for a forensic psychologist and that I can definitely see that being a valid use of psychology he would interview criminals to see if they are criminally responsible for whatever crimes they've been convicted of if they are mentally capable of understanding you know so for these for these different types of situations I think psychology does really work and you know there are some conditions that I think so I called people really do need to see psychologists for if you have like you said phobias right I'm obsessive-compulsive disorder and like all these like really serious mental disorders schizophrenia bipolar disorder but on the other hand my complaint about professional help goes way beyond psychology and psychotherapy and therapy because I'm also saying like career counselors there's nothing to do with psychology you know what I mean is mind-blowing to me that I go to the career office at the University and there is no help there's nothing they can do to help me aside from encouraging me to do more Google searches like that's mind-blowing to me where it's it's something so fundamental that 90% of university students need help with I mean 10% of university students already have a giant la job lined up for their parents company there they have a job lined up because they're an x-ray technician and that's what they're gonna do they don't need any help with that but like 90% of university students need professional help with career counseling and there is not there is no professional so just mean beyond this there are all kinds of problems in life and you know maybe you know maybe we need to redefine some of these disciplines I mean you know relationship problems should you break up with your boyfriend or something so a professional someone wearing the lab coat so to speak is never gonna tell you your boyfriend's a piece of and maybe that's what you need to hear you don't I mean my father what to a whole bunch of therapists none of them ever told him this is your fault you are a piece of and that's probably what he really is here you know I mean this is nothing you know what the main message people seem to get from professional help is that their feelings matter and their feelings are real and my father was inclined to wallow in that kind of self-pity anyway so I think that only made it worse he would never have a therapist I'll know your feelings don't matter the feelings of your nine kids really matter you know what your kids are right about you when your kids reproach you and say this to you they've got a point dude their therapist will never say that of course the therapist will so never hear the perspective of those nine kids they're only gonna hear the really warped version of what the problem is you know for my father right it's very very very difficult for a psychologist to have any kind of objective sense of that you know business is based on customers coming back to them yes more help from them so yeah if you call somebody a piece of they're not gonna come well I really I mean again across the board whether it's career counseling or anything what is the kind of help you know that can be offered so again this was this was partly inspired by a natural vegan saying it's such a haughty way like get professional help yeah you know if somebody says that they regret having kids she said get professional help what is the help how was the professional gonna help you I really want to ask that how was it gonna help I don't know they say you're a piece of that's never good look all the professional is going to be able to do is sit there and reify your feelings be like yeah your feelings are a real thing your feelings really matter and I don't know maybe your feelings don't matter you know it may be actually the perspective you need is you know what you know like in Casablanca in this world you know the feelings of two people of us who really don't matter they're these other things that matter there's war and you know the fate of your children and taking care of your kids and all kind there are all kinds of other issues here that really maybe matter more than your feelings you know maybe that's the bitter pill you got to swallow there but what help can you offer the person like if you out so the specific example but the natural begin applied that's very broadly if you're someone who's had kids and you for credit having kids the professional help you're gonna get is not gonna advise you you know what you can put your kids up for adoption change your name and move to another country they're never gonna say that but I maybe I mean we're talking about a very small minority of people here we're talking about a few dozen people in the whole United Sates maybe that is the answer you know what I mean there are some people who are terrible parents and probably should hand their kids over be Ward's of the state we saw one of them on YouTube also not so long ago and I think two of her kids became Ward's to the state remember already you know so there's a real like she had a whole bunch of kids and some of them are gonna be taken away by the state and not others and so on you know for sure there are people who probably should give up legal custody of their kids and go on and start a new life because this is not for them we there are all kinds of reasons for that you know obviously but psychological reasons inclusive you know what I mean what in you know professional help it's kind of ridiculous but even a career counselor who's not able to tell you that you should quit your job I mean it's ridiculous but I just I guess it's the wart when you put the word professional before the word help people just assume that there really is some help that they can offer I hit a really tough point in my life where I was looking around at the Buddhist monks I knew because I knew all these Buddhist monks from years as a scholar of Buddhism I said well why can't any of you guys help me I use need professional I just need advice about where to go from here in terms of put a scholarship in my career and what have you you know what I mean and they couldn't offer any help worth a damn I thought that was really really damning for who they are you know for their profession because if you're a Buddhist monk you have to deal with questions about suicide and breaking up with your girlfriend you have to get ya abortions they got a lot a lot of people go and ask a Buddhist monk before they have an abortion that's a really common one just letting you know you know oh and euthanasia Buddhist monks complain to me of that they would get people coming to all the time saying they want advice about their elderly relatives being euthanized so me as a Buddhist monk you'll deal with a lot of really tough Q&A sessions and it's like Here I am I've been a scholar of Buddhism for than ten years and I just need someone to advise me on you know Buddhist scholarship Margo it's really not it's really not the tough and no them none of them could do it but a lot of the time you know there is no professional help I think what you're reaching out for you the hypothetical person think what people are reaching out for all the time is someone in the role of an older brother or an older sister a concerned cousin and you may not have that or your actual their brothers and older sisters may all be pieces of that may all be terrible people I got eight older brothers and sisters none of them ever lifted a finger to help me not even on the level of advice any of those things I wish I could but they're bad people you know it's it's as simple as that a lot of people my parents were bad people too I couldn't tell you my parents went and stuff I tried you know I tried it and then I ended up you know cutting off communication with them and trying something else you know but yeah sure before that sure I'd years and years in which I tried for sure especially about this stuff time a career and a career is a really obvious reason to be depressed or unhappy or miserable in your life you know you don't like the career you've got or you you don't have a career or whatever it is it's really obvious so you have people try to talk to their parents and they try to seek professional help but I think like it's one of these things I mean we've complained about the whole university structure as kind of offering false promises to people and false hope I think in the same way the professional held paradigm it's like well once you get past the veneer what is the help there what is the help they can offer and a lot of the time the answer may just be nothing they've got no help to offer you not not even the help your older brother might offer you or if you can find someone I'm older more experienced mentor like person to play that older brother role right all right that's a wrap sorry I mean you know we're not gonna try to put a happy ending on a video where the topic isn't just sad the topic itself is sadness and then people trying to seek professional help out of that sadness it's it's a cold world you know I did so many things that made me you know an exception to the rules in an obvious way like when I'm applying for a master's degree you look at my resume I'm not a typical applicant for an MA but nobody gives a you know like I'm living in Cambodia doing humanitarian work I'm living in Laos of doing these extraordinary things in my life nobody wants to help me nobody cares there is no professional help nobody in my own family cares like it's mind blowing I have a newborn baby the cutest baby in the world the guy had an extraordinarily cute baby nobody cares nobody wants to help me my own family doesn't give a none of my colleagues from years of work in different fields none of them give a not one visitor not one card not one email not one nobody cares and then when we saw a professional help you know me and my ex-wife before we got divorced we went to see a therapist nobody cares nobody gives a nobody can offer any help nothing you know we did the professional help thing too you know I mean just basically because my my ex-wife was cracking up you know you know so what are you gonna say man the the I mean in 2017 then in 2017 the model of medicalizing and medicating all problems like oh whatever your problem is you can take an antidepressant Ignis all right I think that's crumbling and falling apart right you know some people are still using SSRIs but that hit its peak probably in 1995 and it's been a long slow decline I mean cigarette smoking hasn't gone out of fashion entirely either but the the religious belief in antidepressants is on the way down on the way out you know and now that that's dying that paradigm what is the help that's looming for you behind the beguiling neon sign professional help get professional what are you gonna say about it yeah the other day when we were talking about this I just said maybe I've been brainwashed into thinking like you know professional help it's you know it's a legitimate thing if you're having problems you know you've heard I have heard it so many times from on TV in the media from people in my family yeah it's easy to say that there are authority figures you should trust them and the flip side of that is a lot of people get disillusioned with the authority figures and then feel the authority figures or in some kind conspiracy against them you know so hennya pena the vegan hanger mania hennya she just had a situation where she goes to one doctor and gets a prescription goes to another doctor and the two prescriptions of a conflict she's on antidepressants the conflict with her stomach meds and it could have killed her you know what I mean one of my catchphrases is that you know part of maturing as an adult is that you realize behind all authority is mere authorship you know you don't regard doctors and the medical establishment as being anything other than regular people who've read a couple of books or in some cases you have written a couple of books you know they're just like you and me they're making these recommendations in a totally human flawed imperfect way you know you're not looking to them for something they can't offer you offer you're not looking for something it's not there and therefore you're not disillusioned with it but yeah that's really that's really tough to swallow you know I knew a guy he was a new psychologist so you did the full you know many many years in university but leave them sorry it's easy to mix them up psychologist versus psychotherapist well he was a full psychologist per se in Canada and I said to him because he was really complaining about his clients and the whole practice he said he was in downtown Toronto and most of his clients were millionaires is just as it happened you know and he was so pissed off he said all I'm dealing with or you know stay at home like unemployed wives of millionaires who do shopping therapy you know trying to feel better about themselves in their life it's a long series of indulgences and like Louis Vuitton shopping bags so that that was like I'm paraphrasing but I was almost exactly what he said to me about about his clients and my reply to that I said to him don't you think it takes a certain level of kind of maturity and even really like philosophical engagement or philosophical yearning for someone to come to you as a psychologist and say you know I want to change the way I'm living you know I want to change the way I think and the way I feel I want to be a better person like I'm not happy and I want want to be someone different you know I want I want to change something about you know how I perceived the world now I live so don't you think that that look even in these cases even if you hate your clients don't you think that that reflects a fundamental kind of maturity and philosophical question it you know and you notice I was over this the day I died his reply was no all they think is I'm broken fix me that's pretty dark yes okay so we did end the video on a positive note we enter the [Music] evolution