Stop Hating James Charles, Hate Yourselves.
17 May 2019 [link youtube]
Advice nobody wants to hear.
Youtube Automatic Transcription
in matters of the heart it's actually
often really useful to say to people hey imagine the same scenario that you're in imagine the same scenario you're concerned about or freaking out about imagine it if the genders were reversed imagine if it were a gay couple instead of a straight couple would you still feel the same way about it and in terms of the current controversy with James Charles I think it's worth asking those same questions in what sense is this even controversial why is it that anyone's freaking out and rushing to judgment and then beyond that judgment this kind of harsh condemnation if James Charles is an idiot why don't you people admit to yourselves that you love him because he's an idiot look what were you tuning in for his opinion about history politics and philosophy what because he was hardworking and sober and smart I mean come on you know it's a very strange story to me the strangest element of it is seeing people line up to pass moral judgment on this 19 year old and when you get to the edge into their their judgment they just have they have nothing to say there's no moral to the story there's no conclusion and I'm left wondering what motivated any of this aside from of course the hollow pursuit of Fame I remember in Thailand a woman complained to me about the behavior of a particular pair of heterosexual men she'd been on one of those books tours some some I forget if she was just on and off of buses with a lot of other tourists and she was complaining to me about how these white heterosexual men behaved in Thailand and Laos to get attention from the local women and she gave me shaving various examples basically somewhat low dish behavior nothing illegal nothing crossing any kind of line one of the examples that really upset her that really you know pissed her off was just of a guy at his friend sitting down on the table and they didn't speak the local language and just gesturing to two other women who were eating lunch a different table gesturing to these women to come over and sit at the table with Emily at Ian's lunch of them and you know she acted this out from me and among the things that I say to her was well this kind of behavior you're complaining about you only know how often it fails what you don't know is how often it succeeds like this guy who sat down in a restaurant it is gestured for these women to come over and sit with him how many times do you think he's done that and the women actually came over and joined it like this kind of behavior doesn't exist in a vacuum to some extent it's encouraged the kind of behavior we've seen from James Charles we've seen him flirting with men and getting rejected and suddenly the whole world wants to judge and condemn him for that do you think he was always getting rejected do you think he wasn't successful one time out of ten or one time out of a hundred enough to be encouraged maybe it was a lot more often than one time out of a hundred and thus from his perspective what you see as bad behavior might not really be so bad I believe two of the replies now from heterosexual men who were flirted with James Charles made some advance towards two of them have come forward and narrated their own perspective and they said that at the time this happened they weren't necessarily convinced themselves that they were so heterosexual that they thought they were to some extent bisexual or bicurious and they indicated this to James Charles well again imagine if the genders were different imagine if it's a man pursuing a woman or a woman pursuing a man if somebody gets that kind of signal I wouldn't even call it a mixed signal gets this kind of positive signal and then responds to it a lot of people wear when it comes to matters of the heart if you open the door just a crack they're gonna stick their foot in that door gonna say we'll wait you open the door crack you're a little bit interested and I know I'm here letting you know that I'm uh I'm a lot interested there was a situation at a university where I was a student where one of the professor's was a heterosexual male was constantly behaving in a manner that was inappropriate and flirtatious with the women around him I guess they were always younger women I didn't know of any examples where was a woman the same age as himself rolling he was heterosexual man with a wife and kids and most of it was verbal but sure I seen him put his arm around a female student put his armor and this some of it had to do with gestures and to some extent touching but not not anything that would be in a really obvious easy sense over the line but he was pushing the line all the time and so I remember was discussing this with another professor several professors in the room at once this is a problem everybody knew about it everybody'll but at several times there have been complaints and nobody knew what to do about this professor who was at least pushing the limits if not breaking the limits of decency here and and the most fundamental thing was he didn't perceive himself as doing anything wrong not even when it was pointed out to him really bluntly and and really directly was verbally told this is when he would reply to that and and carry on he refused to see himself as being in the wrong in any way and if I was sitting and talking about this with with some other professors there was to two professors in the room and one of the professors asked me he was a gay man actually ask me this he said do you think that these flirtations and these these inappropriate actions do you think these things he's doing do you think they have relieved to him actually cheating on his wife do you think ever the women or the few most since you think they were ever a brigade and my reply to that was you know every time he does this he's he's opening the door a crack and he may think he's just joking he may think he's just doing this for the attention for the thrill for the mutual exposure but sooner or later there will be a woman who comes along where and she responds to him opening the door a little bit by just kicking down the door and coming in and I said there there will be a woman sooner or later if there hasn't been more already who you know who responds to this with enthusiasm and then of course you know could destroy his whole life it could end his career as a professor or could end his marriage you could have huge you know negative consequences for him but yeah at that time I I presumed it it hadn't happened yet a guy like James Charles you know so many people are eager to treat these problems just in terms of good and evil and it's lacking categories like in good taste versus in poor taste like can you take this kit aside and talk about having good taste think about the meaning of the word tact being tactful being skillful almost by definition if it's a matter of tact skill poly TAS good taste we're not really dealing with you know the realm of good and evil and the screenshots that have been put forward to condemn this guy they consist of him saying things like you're cute and like that he's willing to meet up with somebody but only because they're cute this this is the basis for for a witch-hunt you know I think it would be the basis for a friend of his to take him aside and talk to him about how to have more poly tests how to approach these things in a more sensitive and an even-handed manner but um this is again shown me just the strange sort of double-edged sword of Internet fandom why were you people fans of James Charles because he was a somewhat salacious stupid flirty personality on the Internet and then this seemed crowd of admirers turn around and harshly judge and condemn him for exactly that behavior it was so to speak his whole Act you know this isn't the case that he's a university professor who's expected to be conforming to some higher level of conduct he's an entertainer and exactly this kind of behavior he's practically the only entertainment he has to offer you again all these clips of Nevin were used of him joking openly that his own tragic flaw is that he flirts with and pursues heterosexual men you know that he's unlucky in love that he's unlucky in romance that he's such a terrible flirt you know so on and so forth and I can only assume that the psychology of the audience is ultimately one of self-hatred that they sink so many hours into this stupidity and they have a repressed sense of self-loathing ultimately because their fandom forces them to confront the fact that they are the kind of person who finds this entertaining or perhaps even erotic and then it's maybe easier for them to act out that strange feeling through the condemnation of the very person they used to idolize for this same behavior they now suddenly judge to be a more
often really useful to say to people hey imagine the same scenario that you're in imagine the same scenario you're concerned about or freaking out about imagine it if the genders were reversed imagine if it were a gay couple instead of a straight couple would you still feel the same way about it and in terms of the current controversy with James Charles I think it's worth asking those same questions in what sense is this even controversial why is it that anyone's freaking out and rushing to judgment and then beyond that judgment this kind of harsh condemnation if James Charles is an idiot why don't you people admit to yourselves that you love him because he's an idiot look what were you tuning in for his opinion about history politics and philosophy what because he was hardworking and sober and smart I mean come on you know it's a very strange story to me the strangest element of it is seeing people line up to pass moral judgment on this 19 year old and when you get to the edge into their their judgment they just have they have nothing to say there's no moral to the story there's no conclusion and I'm left wondering what motivated any of this aside from of course the hollow pursuit of Fame I remember in Thailand a woman complained to me about the behavior of a particular pair of heterosexual men she'd been on one of those books tours some some I forget if she was just on and off of buses with a lot of other tourists and she was complaining to me about how these white heterosexual men behaved in Thailand and Laos to get attention from the local women and she gave me shaving various examples basically somewhat low dish behavior nothing illegal nothing crossing any kind of line one of the examples that really upset her that really you know pissed her off was just of a guy at his friend sitting down on the table and they didn't speak the local language and just gesturing to two other women who were eating lunch a different table gesturing to these women to come over and sit at the table with Emily at Ian's lunch of them and you know she acted this out from me and among the things that I say to her was well this kind of behavior you're complaining about you only know how often it fails what you don't know is how often it succeeds like this guy who sat down in a restaurant it is gestured for these women to come over and sit with him how many times do you think he's done that and the women actually came over and joined it like this kind of behavior doesn't exist in a vacuum to some extent it's encouraged the kind of behavior we've seen from James Charles we've seen him flirting with men and getting rejected and suddenly the whole world wants to judge and condemn him for that do you think he was always getting rejected do you think he wasn't successful one time out of ten or one time out of a hundred enough to be encouraged maybe it was a lot more often than one time out of a hundred and thus from his perspective what you see as bad behavior might not really be so bad I believe two of the replies now from heterosexual men who were flirted with James Charles made some advance towards two of them have come forward and narrated their own perspective and they said that at the time this happened they weren't necessarily convinced themselves that they were so heterosexual that they thought they were to some extent bisexual or bicurious and they indicated this to James Charles well again imagine if the genders were different imagine if it's a man pursuing a woman or a woman pursuing a man if somebody gets that kind of signal I wouldn't even call it a mixed signal gets this kind of positive signal and then responds to it a lot of people wear when it comes to matters of the heart if you open the door just a crack they're gonna stick their foot in that door gonna say we'll wait you open the door crack you're a little bit interested and I know I'm here letting you know that I'm uh I'm a lot interested there was a situation at a university where I was a student where one of the professor's was a heterosexual male was constantly behaving in a manner that was inappropriate and flirtatious with the women around him I guess they were always younger women I didn't know of any examples where was a woman the same age as himself rolling he was heterosexual man with a wife and kids and most of it was verbal but sure I seen him put his arm around a female student put his armor and this some of it had to do with gestures and to some extent touching but not not anything that would be in a really obvious easy sense over the line but he was pushing the line all the time and so I remember was discussing this with another professor several professors in the room at once this is a problem everybody knew about it everybody'll but at several times there have been complaints and nobody knew what to do about this professor who was at least pushing the limits if not breaking the limits of decency here and and the most fundamental thing was he didn't perceive himself as doing anything wrong not even when it was pointed out to him really bluntly and and really directly was verbally told this is when he would reply to that and and carry on he refused to see himself as being in the wrong in any way and if I was sitting and talking about this with with some other professors there was to two professors in the room and one of the professors asked me he was a gay man actually ask me this he said do you think that these flirtations and these these inappropriate actions do you think these things he's doing do you think they have relieved to him actually cheating on his wife do you think ever the women or the few most since you think they were ever a brigade and my reply to that was you know every time he does this he's he's opening the door a crack and he may think he's just joking he may think he's just doing this for the attention for the thrill for the mutual exposure but sooner or later there will be a woman who comes along where and she responds to him opening the door a little bit by just kicking down the door and coming in and I said there there will be a woman sooner or later if there hasn't been more already who you know who responds to this with enthusiasm and then of course you know could destroy his whole life it could end his career as a professor or could end his marriage you could have huge you know negative consequences for him but yeah at that time I I presumed it it hadn't happened yet a guy like James Charles you know so many people are eager to treat these problems just in terms of good and evil and it's lacking categories like in good taste versus in poor taste like can you take this kit aside and talk about having good taste think about the meaning of the word tact being tactful being skillful almost by definition if it's a matter of tact skill poly TAS good taste we're not really dealing with you know the realm of good and evil and the screenshots that have been put forward to condemn this guy they consist of him saying things like you're cute and like that he's willing to meet up with somebody but only because they're cute this this is the basis for for a witch-hunt you know I think it would be the basis for a friend of his to take him aside and talk to him about how to have more poly tests how to approach these things in a more sensitive and an even-handed manner but um this is again shown me just the strange sort of double-edged sword of Internet fandom why were you people fans of James Charles because he was a somewhat salacious stupid flirty personality on the Internet and then this seemed crowd of admirers turn around and harshly judge and condemn him for exactly that behavior it was so to speak his whole Act you know this isn't the case that he's a university professor who's expected to be conforming to some higher level of conduct he's an entertainer and exactly this kind of behavior he's practically the only entertainment he has to offer you again all these clips of Nevin were used of him joking openly that his own tragic flaw is that he flirts with and pursues heterosexual men you know that he's unlucky in love that he's unlucky in romance that he's such a terrible flirt you know so on and so forth and I can only assume that the psychology of the audience is ultimately one of self-hatred that they sink so many hours into this stupidity and they have a repressed sense of self-loathing ultimately because their fandom forces them to confront the fact that they are the kind of person who finds this entertaining or perhaps even erotic and then it's maybe easier for them to act out that strange feeling through the condemnation of the very person they used to idolize for this same behavior they now suddenly judge to be a more