The Cure for Jealousy ⓵ (NOT Couples' Therapy)

is there something you could know that
would change the way you feel just kidding hammer magic lemma a jellyfish so I guess mathematical analogies slightly less odious than sports analogies you know we've been talking to a mathematician lately and so my best friends are mathematicians okay in a recent video spontaneously I just said look you know it's a real difference between math on the chalkboard and then math how we use it in real life in making moral and political arguments yeah there is something similar to be said about philosophy I've had videos in the past the relatively remote and distant past talking about like what does it mean to have a philosophy why would anyone bother to have a philosophy the other day I was talking to you about philosophy of language is it even really possible to have a philosophy Atlanta one but look people come to philosophy because they want to change and I think the most basic premise are the most basic unstated assumption of philosophy is that there is a connection between knowing and feeling like if I change what I know I can change how I feel and that I can change how I act so an easy one would be cowardice like I'm gonna have a kind of philosophical examination of what it is I feel afraid of and then I'm gonna overcome cowardice a much more difficult one I think would be jealousy right and we've talked a lot about jealousy on this channel I seem to be in a small minority of people who don't feel jealousy you know we don't study math for the sake of filling up the chalkboard with numbers yeah how it can be applied yeah we do need to solve problems right yeah presumably problems in our lives if not what kind of problems you know many problems in someone else's life there's like maybe to something else maybe you want to land a spacecraft on the moon but nevertheless you want to solve some kind of problem yeah right yeah and I mean you know why do we why do we come to philosophy I think that's really the sincere answer is that we're trying to solve problems and there with philosophy they're problems that lie outside of you know other other provinces yeah no yeah I'm sorry I mean the other day you did record I think you you know made two attempts was a which is unusual for you to record a video about your philosophy of language and I think there was some disconnect when I was trying to you know just take in what you were talking about talking about with philosophy of language cos no I mean some of these concepts are foreign and that's why I like foreign to me and that's partly wouldn't would you man to your channel because I didn't know about all these right I just didn't even know the extent yeah it's not easy yeah it's not what it's not yeah you do make it look easy I mean it's challenging it's challenging to number one whoo I'll do a real real quick real quick thought experiment so this is a very crude example but you'll see why use it let's say you had a soldier who was terrified he was cowardly he was experiencing fear on the battlefield and you asked him okay look let's do a thought experiment what would what what could you know if you could know something that would reassure you I make you feel fearless that make you feel afraid what would you need to know here's a really depressing answer that unfortunately has thousands of years of evidence back yet maybe the soldier would say to you oh well if I knew that it was impossible that I would die though or that if I died I've given him moral life yeah that it's only an illusion that there is no death or maybe if you told me that I'm special then everyone else could happen to me that there's an exception to the rule yeah then maybe maybe they're very impervious to the swords of other uh or hey I'm gonna give you an amulet I'm gonna give you this special name you're gonna wear around your neck and that you know so maybe something totally false like this so maybe there is something you could know that would change how you feel depressing but maybe a conversation worth worth having okay if your problem is jealousy you know what is it that you could know that way no I don't think that you know you don't have to upload the zero you don't want to you know your ex-boyfriend took the her boyfriend Judith performing took the approach of telling you that you are the most beautiful woman in the world yeah and that's really giving you this ambulant he really told you you were the most beautiful in the world and nobody else is trying to you know and what jealousy isn't just about appearance I mean you can be you're the most intelligent you're the you're the most special that is told or that wants to build himself up build up his confidence by saying I'm immortal or I'm the special one yeah I think he knows it's not true you know if you really believes in mainstream religion like Catholicism or Islam you know right I mean this is yeah you're right you're right I was just going to compare it in the same way I knew even though my ex my former partner my export was telling me this and it's not true of course that's one some well ya know of course I wasn't diluted about that it was to him you know just just believe it like I believe that to him I was like his ideal you know so that made me right that made me feel calm like more confident right uh but ya know I mean what is it that would make you feel less - what is it right so in terms of my not feeling jealous by the way um remember some forty years old yeah I maybe started learning Chinese at 36 I mean try to figure it out right so there are all kinds of white men who started learning Chinese at sixteen right I'm never gonna compete in their level now I do get a lot of compliments like oh wow you know what your Chinese is very precise it's you know I do get a lot of compliments on on how well I know or how well I can use Chinese whether it's on my handwriting am i understanding the language right and that reflects different things about my character and the other language they study before but I've studied a series of languages home I'm never I'm never gonna be the best at Chinese and you know I've told you I had conversations of professors where it is said them look you must realize I'm never gonna be a like I'm never really a Chinese literature professors and this is ridiculous look at her oh yeah it's not possible for me to compete with native speakers of the language like interpreting Saturday morning cartoons in Chinese which believe me is a lot of what goes on in Western Asia via anime dominates Asian Studies what a lot of people presume to be a source of ego for me or egoic fortitude or whatever on the contrary I can regard in a Down earth way as being kind of perpetually humiliating I'm perpetually just do no personal and I'm cool that I'm not jealous of people who are you know so you look this is the difference between religion and philosophy if we ask the soldier what do you need to know to feel fearless and he doesn't care if it's true or false okay magic amulet you'll go to heaven after you die and you're special okay that's religion okay if we actually want to solve the problem if we actually want real it's the problems we care about there is that your fault then it's not religion any more than its philosophy you see yeah well that's not a problem right like you fight so this is good even if the solution were for my girlfriend's jealousy to tell you don't worry babe you're the most beautiful right yeah like you are not somebody who like I'm not your ideal I don't think you're that great a musician either I wouldn't tell you the greatest musician well I had fun we did one music video we could do it you know I wouldn't I don't lie to people that way I don't why are you that way yeah I'm not right I'm not the most beautiful I'm not like I grew up right right I know I know you said I'm not ugly of course this is my question so given this whole background what what could you know believe me I'm assuming we don't really have an answer is there something you could know that would change the way you feel okay so when I first was starting University like and I would go on tumblr like there's this general undercurrent of telling everybody that they're beautiful we're so like that's what I'm saying you would need to know like that you're beautiful like no matter what like like that's King to me that's the most ridiculous thing oh I agree a real answer but you know even you know even if you look within your own family so I come from a big family you know your cousins and stuff too yeah I can't say you know all your cousins are equally beautiful I can't say all my brothers and sisters are equally beautiful it's ridiculous I mean okay if you say people say it on tumblr and that solves the problem but that's what I'm asking them I ask you to actually solve the problem okay I'm not ask you to lie what do you think so the problem okay talking about uh sensation what would you have to know that would actually change how you feel what's knowable what's possible how can knowing change feeling in relation Josey look I knew a guy and won't say who it was he was a white American and he had his bicycle stolen by a group of black people African Americans and he really got racist obviously he probably was inclined to be racist to some extent before I don't know okay uh you know and that's conversation you can have with people many of you watch this was where we talked through with someone look I know when you had this a bad experience etc what do I have to tell you how are we gonna break this down so you don't blame millions of people for the actions of whatever was four or five guys like can I talk through with you like you know maybe it is the simplest oh yeah you know I had my bike stolen once it was by white people huh what am I gonna do now go through the rest of my life for the chip Marshall forget swiping you know are you gonna be able to talk that through as a thought experiment is there something he can know that's gonna change the way he feels not something he believes right no it's not not like a logical tenant right you know my father talked about this before of mentions on the channel the idea of attitudinal learning an attitudinal change you know what if what I'm trying to do is not burden you with a series of specific dates from history I want to change your attitude towards the history like you know oh I didn't realize like in the history of Canada really the wars between the French and English they were five decisively by native people this is an early period of our history we're really what mattered were indigenous people and their role in history as mercenaries and stuff later there's an attitude shift and why do you want to do that because in Canada we have a lot of people a lot of white people who say that native people didn't contribute anything to the history of the country it's very commonly said in Canada you know what's so you know okay so you want to change this attitude can knowing this change the way you feel there for some people it can't right and I think that shows something too so like if you have the same conversation about racism the one guy puts the bad experience black people somebody else who has veterans native people I think if you can't if you get to the point where you say no there's nothing I can tell you there's nothing you can know that's gonna change the way you feel right I mean maybe at that point we finally are talking about you know insanity we're talking about a kind of pathology you know I guess what you'd have to know is that everybody's experience is different everybody's conditions is are different when you know when you come into this world and what you put into your life is what you're what you will get from get out from it and life is unfair I mean like I can think of ways to change the way that I would feel you know change my feelings of jealousy know in a recent video I said that my own philosophy you know it's it's it's like being aware all the time that your house is on fire and then asking well you know how can you how can you be watering the lawn how can you be enjoying life when you know your house on fire and even if it's not your house on fire there's somebody else's hostess on fire this sense of any kind of self-indulgence needing to be justified now by the way just real brief example I even filled with book one at the gym like I feel like lifting weights up to a certain point is justified by the sense of preparedness of being able to go out and put out fires cope with emergency situations cope with the problems the world like I can't you know I can't make a positive contribution to this the suffering in the world if I'm not in a certain level of physical condition myself yeah you know but I mean I gave you the example the other day of a handsome guy on YouTube um believe me inoculating his whole career is being a handsome guy and dating a model when her whole career is just being a beautiful woman that's all they do so in some ways their lives have been made easy by being born beautiful born and raised beautiful however you want to put it when I actually look at them so I watch one of their videos for the reasons not worth describing I actually feel a lot of sympathy like you know I don't I don't feel jealousy but like I see their lives as a struggle I see a lot of sorrow and suffering and hard work in their lives and even like the two of them as a couple and you know the you know maybe I see their lives as a struggle you know like III don't know I mean you know for me in terms of what I know and and how I feel I do think that a really really deep sense that life is suffering you know it's the same with like when I talk to left wingers who hate the rich you know sometimes like you're someone having a couple numbers I've talked to people who are left-wing or communists you ask them you know do you do you really know what life is like for the rich like do you really think they're happy like do you really think they're kind of dancing on the graves of the working people like do you know what it's like to be a factory owner like have you thought about it if you really you know you can watch a film like you know their their lives are also full of tremendous sorrow and suffering and struggling you know you know I'm not that I'm saying it's equal nothing saying it's the same and of course you can take an example of someone starving in the most extreme poverty and then someone living in the most extreme wealth but most entrepreneurs most people who even have over a million dollars their lives have terrible sorrow and suffering you know in South Korea there was a commonplace statement there was a name of a young woman and she was born the daughter actually I think I do remember the core I'm not going to name the corporation she was born the daughter of a multi-million multi-millionaire corporate director corporate CEO and her whole life was miserable and she committed suicide and you know there was some series of tracks she living up to it but her name in South Korea became synonymous with people would say look you know like the rich have problems too you know whatever it is even if you want to use something corny like heart attacks and cancer and stuff you know is it easier for the rich well yeah you know I just say you know that that kind of jealousy you know again I'd like to think that for most people most of the time it can be challenged by knowing just knowing more about what's on the other side of that divide like do you think maybe knowing more about you know the lives it's may sound absurd but maybe knowing more about the lives of beautiful people I don't know like I said to you before and you were surprised but you you said you know that your whole life is so much easier if you're just born beautiful and I said well yeah it's also more dangerous you're a target for rape you know from a very early age you know I mean you you're a target for violence your target for jealousy you can expect them in topic here other people or can be cruel to you and demanding and so on in some ways your life is life is easier but you know and we know people whose whole intellectual potential has been snuffed out by the fact that they're good-looking not going to name names you know people where it's had a destructive effect in their lives and this is discussed in Plato to a limited extent I remember uh medieval source castiglione a the book of the courtier it's actually an ancient and medieval topic of debate to what extent are beautiful people evil because they're corrupted by society into what extent are they evil because they're evil because they're it's in their nature and what most of the debates conclude is that Society has such a powerfully corrupting effect on beautiful people that you know beauty the power gives you in society corrupts so to speak you know that that you can never really know how importantly how is hardly evil beautiful we belong is this such a this is such a powerful warping factor you know yeah well I I want to stay on topic but you know I don't know I watched it when we were just with your daughter right I was like having this you know she was being really sweet and loving with me and you know we were just having like a having a moment and I was kind of like rubbing my like I was rubbing her hair like I was running my fingers through here and I said your hair is so beautiful like you know I was kind of just just being sweetness joking around and I was like oh one day maybe it could be a hair model you know and I really was thinking like you know what there really are like terrible like I wasn't you know saying but yeah I regretted it saying it later because this no you really thought this isn't something you should say to a kid I remember yeah yeah yeah no you just say to a kid and it I do I do wonder from a young age how you approach this inequality and I think what you said here is very true if you think of the other side and use philosophy as a problem-solving tool and well at least at least we'll come to a very distinct knowledge of what the problem using sympathy as an analytical tool to think about the other side yeah I I get what you're saying and when you think of it when I think of it that way it it definitely changes my perspective we will see jealousy has been a huge issue on this channel since day one it's been a huge issue in this relationship so maybe this is the first of many sequels to come [Music]