The Ultimate Game is NO GAME! #blackpill vs. #redpill vs. #whitepill

i would say that this is a rare case
in which the title of this video the title of this live stream tells you a great deal about what you need to know in terms the intellectual background bringing me up to inspiring me to hit the record button and record this statement okay i have seen black pill discussion on the internet i have seen red pill discussion on the internet i have seen the feminist critics of both the red pill and the black pill i saw the whole fascination with the in-cell subculture rise to its sickening crescendo and come crashing down to the ground in the last few years and the fundamental the fundamental thing of the 21st century is that issues and ideas and dissatisfactions in life that people used to take to the bar they used to discuss drunkenly while smoking cigarettes at a pub or that they used to take to their pastor they used to pour out in the confessional booth to a catholic priest or none who probably didn't know what the hell to say to them in response great person to get love life advice from go talk you want to know what to do with your love life go talk to a priest at church that's great you know people are now coming out on the internet and commiserating and i think among the left-wing and among feminists there's this kind of sickening assumption that the disappointed broken-hearted people who come out on the internet and ask for this kind of advice that they're insincere or that they have bad motivations and i don't feel that way about it at all i think people are really authentically genuinely brokenhearted genuinely unhappy with their lives and they're coming out to commiserate they're coming out to ask for help and advice they're telling their own stories they're listening to other people's stories and they're trying to make decisions so that they can live a better life now i would say this especially about the black pill people so we have someone in the live audience now who says that he or she is black-pilled you can take a moment just tell us what black pill means to you this is my summary of what the black hole means black pill means they're people who are unhappy and they believe they're always going to be unhappy they're like look these are fundamental problems in their life they can't change and they can't overcome now it's not all that specific some of those are people who say that they're lonely and they're always going to be lonely like that's the particular kind of disappointment some of them are people who say well look this is the kind of love and affection they were looking for in life like this is the kind of relationship they wanted and they're never going to have it so you know there's some other relationship they can have but not what they really wanted in life not their fantasy not their dream you know that's so that's the black pill is going to be different things to different people like maybe some people especially or stereotypically women have met women and they had an idea of the kind of man or the kind of husband the kind of home they wanted to have they had a fantasy and then at some point they get black pill because they realize they can't have that that doesn't mean they can't have sex at all but it means they can't have the particular kind of sex with a particular kind of person that wanted to have the particular kind of family the particular kind of life they wanted to pursue i think a lot of people even if we're just talking about this in terms of sexuality and dating the black pill has to deal with them being disillusioned with the education system with career with what they thought their life was going to be what they thought was going to be meaningful and rewarding with life i'll say real briefly i'm not this video is not especially autobiographical it's not especially about my life experience but i saw all this coming together in the most dynamic way at cambridge university england there were all these relatively young women i mean a lot of these women were like 28 they were women 28 29 30 31 so i'm saying young but i guess i don't really mean it i mean they're young compared to me now i'm i'm in my 40s but there were these women who who were looking at the wall as 21st century they were looking at the wall they're really running out of time right we used to say in the old days back in the 1980s the clock is ticking you know they could feel that big number 30 coming up and they were so miserable and so distraught because they got to cambridge university england and they found out the education wasn't worth having the career path they wanted to pursue was either impossible to pursue or not worth succeeding in that all of that was meaningless and this this fantasy they had become deeply committed to that when they got to university as a 28 year old woman that there would be these fascinating highly intellectual handsome brilliant witty hard-working men who would just be out to get them and they would find this husband who would take care of them for the rest of life so they had they had a fantasy but the type of man and the type of marriage and the type of life that would ensue for them if only they could get into this master's degree program at the university or if only they could get into this phd program this university and guess what real disappointment ensues real black pilling ensues this this use but in a really meaningful sense they become black belt and you know i think that's something you have to address quite separately from the so-called in-cell phenomena they're not in cells i mean the majority of people are not in cells the majority of people come to complain on the internet and pour their hearts out they're not in cells they may still get laid once in a while they may even have a long-term boyfriend they may even have multiple long-term boyfriends but they're black-pilled because they're broken-hearted they're disappointed their future can never be what they want to be there is a sense in which they're burdened with an intense awareness that they can never be happy that they can never be satisfied they can never be you know fulfilled i think a lot of people live with that i mean look me and melissa we have been together for four years we have both made tremendous sacrifices to make this relationship possible and to make this relationship work the type of sacrifice was very different we didn't make the same sacrifices she made tremendous sacrifices in her life i made tremendous sacrifices in my life now both of us could talk about what we could have done what we could have accomplished positively in the last four years if we weren't together melissa is now learning chinese think about what a wonderful life she could have she wasn't learning chinese i'm not joking like really you know she could be doing something better with her during the last four years she couldn't sleep better at the time right but it means so much to each of us just to be in a relationship with somebody who appreciates the things we care about and we know it's rare so i woke up this morning i was awake for about two hours before doing this livestream we got about six six o'clock in the morning uh local time i got up at six o'clock in the morning and i was reading uh specifically i might as well say the particular book i was reading machiavelli and i was reading polybius this is politics of ancient rome ancient greece how it connects to democracy today all right trust me trust me you can be in a relationship with a woman who doesn't understand or appreciate that right now as i said melissa was busy doing her own work we didn't have any really deep conversation but like at one point she got up to go to the kitchen and i read her a few sentences from what i was reading there is appreciation there is mutual understanding there's mutual motivation there right i'm not going to talk about this at great length but there is a sense of trying to live up to the positive expectations that other person has of you and the positive expectations you have yourself where there's this positive feedback loop that's there all the time and melissa knows if she breaks up with me she's a good-looking woman she can get another man she can get another man who watches ice hockey she get another man who watches football she get another man who maybe plays mario 64. you know what i mean like you know oh you can oh you can get another man oh the problem isn't being in cell the problem is being black the problem is melissa breaks up with me how is she ever gonna find someone with whom she lives this kind of meaningful life this kind of mutually motivating mutually appreciative positive profoundly positive life where you have those values in common where you know you you care about the same things you're you know you're pulling the same weight in the same direction and look i get it not everybody's an intellectual right not everybody's not everybody's this kind of intellectual like let's say not everybody's intellectual and not it was this kind of emotion not everybody is vegan among other things right not everybody ethically cares about the things we care about nobody not everyone cares about environmentally the things we care about but melissa can get another man she saw some people right in to tell me melissa could get a better looking man completely true you get a real good looking man who watches football watches ice hockey and listens to gwar yeah i showed up gwar if you don't know you can get a real good looking man who listens to guar that's not what she wants out of life if i were twice as ugly as i am she'd want me if i were twice as fat she'd want me seriously you know there's something there are other things here that are really positive that you really appreciate about the person and and my point is being black-pilled like again i was wasn't trying to make this like a totally autobiographical video this is kind of about you not me it's kind of about the audience you know i mean but being blackfield has to do with giving up on that kind of heart's desire so it has nothing to do with being an incel right you could be black-pilled as a man oh god can i relate to oh can i relate to this let's just say you're at the university of toronto you're at the quote unquote the best university in canada and there isn't a single other intellectual male or female you don't mean anyone else has the slightest interest in their courses somebody could respond to that by being black pill and saying well the only type of woman for me to sleep with here is a bimbo so therefore i'm just gonna sleep with a whole bunch of bimbos you could be having a sex life where you have sex with a different woman every month like you're having a really active sex life which in my opinion is some people say why not a different woman every week let's say it's 12 women a year let's say you're going out romancing sleeping with a different woman every month you could respond to that by having a sex life where you're doing huge numbers but you're still black pill because that's not what you wanted right you've given up on everything you want you have given up on pursuing the kind of person you want to be with you have given up on becoming the kind of person you want to be with you want to be yourself i'll say that again you've given up on pursuing the kind of person you want to be in love with and you have given up fashioning yourself into disciplining yourself into becoming the kind of person you want to become because you've been black pill you've come to the conclusion you can never have the life you desire you've never had the life you wanted and your your way of coping your cope is to bang a bunch of brainless strangers or some people you don't really love and don't really respect and who don't really love you and probably don't really respect you either right so my point is you're being black pill to something different from the in-cell experience you know oh here's an interesting comment one person wrote in to say guar was great though would you would you marry someone who listens to guar i ask you uh so somebody somebody asked is this red pill [ __ ] no it's it's the opposite i mean you know i think actually the title of this video even even makes it clear you know like what we're talking about here in some ways is is white pill it's the opposite of the black pill so i mean like my critique my critique of red pill would probably be a lot longer but like what i've said positively about the black pill and to some extent you could say this about the red pole also is look it's human nature you don't want to complain people are heartbroken people are disappointment people people are disappointed no edits keep rolling no take two no take three people are heartbroken people are disappointed people get black-pilled and people get repealed and people want to come on the internet and share their their feelings okay so i'm not i'm not opposed to that and a lot of feminists are like a lot of feminists think this is evil just to come out and say how heartbroken you are and you know a lot of feminists and a lot of left-wing politically correct type people they're hating on this and i'm saying no no there's something meaningful however where i really differ from the black pill people are people is the question of what next what now positively what are you going to do going ahead my perspective on that is completely fundamentally different i'm i'm white pilled i'm optimistic i'm positive as opposed to being hopeless and it's that positivity based on nihilism that motivates me in a lot of ways to come on the internet and talk about these things try to share with people you know try to try to try to help other people uh in this one oh great well my number one fan is back to to try to try to troll man it's a hard working i got one troll i got one and we've got 47 people in the audience 24 thumbs up uh if you guys could give it a thumbs up now it'll help other people join while we're live streaming it's no big deal but yeah uh if we have 48 people in the audience and we have 48 thumbs up youtube is going to show this even the more my own subscribers and a few more people will join the crowd maybe a few maybe a few people who uh you know anyway okay so look i don't mind i can respond to some of these things i'm not going to forget what it is of what is i've got to say here someone comments from the audience quote yeah but women only date men with money these days women huh that's a generalization about women like you think you think you can't argue against your own position i'm not i'm not hating on you like i know why you feel that way i know like maybe the high school you went to that's what was going on right tell me did you go to a muslim majority high school muslim women or women is that how you think what goes on in a muslim culture you know there's probably another high school in your city that's muslim church so where i grew up in canada there were old jewish high schools there were all muslim high schools there were you know i just said we had different high schools associated with different ethnicities and religions this is the you think all women live and i really you know i'm sorry it's totally cool for you to feel that way or talk about the women you relate to if what you do is hang out at night clubs certain kinds of nightclubs meeting certain kinds of women i understand you might feel that way you know what i'm saying but no it's not all women and just a really brief digression here back when i had a discord group i no longer have a discord group but i still have t-shirts for the first time in many years you can buy this t-shirt but hey it's it's it's available now at ballastyl.com um but anyway this this t-shirts are collectors and the new one it's the same but as a v-neck if you have the original it's round neck by the way okay well i used to have a discord and i remember a guy came into the discord and he said to me look you're totally wrong about france and i think he knew i've been married to a french woman my first wife was french so i've lived in france and sometimes i know french culture to a limited extent and this guy said to me confidently said no you're wrong what you don't realize is that every single woman in france by the age of 25 has had more than 50 sexual partners like 50 minimum you're saying and i just was like oh really what was your major in university like let me guess were you maybe in theater there have been all these studies about iq and sexuality like intelligence tests and sexuality there are tests of these immigrants looking at different criteria and then looking at how many sexual partners people have per lifetime or how many sexual partners have had in the last five years right and none of them have the statistical significance none of them have the predictive power of asking what is your major in university okay if you were a chemistry major if you were a math major this predicts to a massive extent how many sexual partners you've had and what kind of sexual partners which if you studied chemistry at university of california berkeley as opposed to being in the theater department as opposed to being in the film department hey i'm sorry there are there are differences and my point is here with these generalizations about women you know with these generalizations about men also it's i'm not going to fold you i'm not here to shut down i'm not here to say like oh these guys who are hashtag blackpill or hashtag red pill that it's all bad or it's all wrong it's all evil people need to come out and talk about their experiences but when this french guy was saying to me this french guy was convinced that each and every woman in france by age 25 has had more than 50 sexual partners the french women and their teens in early 20s they just sleep around to this massive extent i had statistics and some studies quoted about how many sexual partners they rely he said oh no wherever you got these statistics from they're totally wrong i said tell me like have you walked past a church lately if you live anywhere in france how many churches did we walk past just going from our apartment to the grocery store you know there are churches everywhere so let me tell you let's listen did you go did you go to a religious high school oh you know do you ever go inside the churches and talk to people those are women too they can't also they're also in these statistics you know this particular guy you you hang out with chain smoking liberal arts left-wing intellectuals in paris okay you are hanging out with a subculture within a subculture within a subculture and you're telling me all the women you know in that subculture have more than 50 sexual partners by age 25. okay let me tell you something that's not a representative sample that's not everybody instagram models are not everybody some people are christians some people are muslim some people are ugly some people are just chemistry majors or just math majors who live their whole life in that way and think about their sexuality and their future and their youth and studying what they do in a different way so no you know you really have to be honest with yourself and others you really have to be self-disciplined in making generalizations about women about men about love about uh about sexuality this way so by the way great great question i'm gonna i'm gonna um uh answer this uh uh quickly oh hey uh two two great questions in a row here question one from monsieur garcia in the past you've spoken about being open to open relationships for productive and meaningful reasons have you with melissa or you with your ex-wife in the past acted on this had multiple partners so just briefly it's not because i'm embarrassed about it all right every single committed relationship i've had has been an open relationship all of them uh okay enough unless you're like my first girlfriend in high school like okay when i was still in high school no but like as as an adult let's say from the middle of university or something through to now all of my relationships have been open relationships okay but then you ask so this includes my marriage to my first wife okay okay but then you ask a second question so do you actually have multiple partners right so we've just been talking about some of you have not been here since the top of the video once you really care about having meaningful relationships with people right your standard you get choosy quick you know it's it's very hard i'm an unapproachable person you know it's it uh and look as i'm happy you're all in the audience today be great if you give the video a thumbs up i'm happy to have this conversation with you you can tell i'm i'm i'm a gregarious person i don't i don't have a stutter i don't have difficulty talking to women or getting along with women okay i will never go to a nightclub not even once okay guys i will never go to a baseball game i will never go to a football game i will never take a [ __ ] shoe shopping and buy her high heeled manolos i will never buy a woman a purse that i've only heard about in a rap song so the names of high-heeled shoes and brands of purses right like you have to recognize what my life is about and what kind of man i am right and what kind of engagement have other people and other people find it intimidating so we'll come back to this and i say good be intimidated run away great i'm so [ __ ] happy for you if you're an idiot if you're a bimbo if you're a shallow person leading a meaningless life i'm so glad you're afraid to have copyright i'm so glad you don't want to have lunch with me and i don't want to drink coffee with you and i don't want to have much to do and i don't want you to be part of my my intimate life either you know that's great i'm so glad you find it intimidating but sure you know i i think i mean sorry i think garcia now that i'm just saying this briefly i think you can put the pieces together you know there are incredibly few people and you know of course i'm a highly motivated highly ambitious person but i'm not motivated to seduce people it's not my priority so you're saying i travel over the world okay looks at different points i've talked about going to japan do you think i've ever once said to melissa or thought like oh i should go to japan so i can seduce or sleep with stranger no you're like why did we go to greece you know why did i go to cambodia or laos none of it like i'm not motivated to do these things for my sex life i'm out there these different trips i mean i'm generalizing with travel but i'm either motivated by research or humanitarian work like there's some reason for me to be going these places that really matters to me i don't i don't live my life that way right my ambitions you give me a tremendously rewarding life right but in a meaningful sense also it's exclusive right like if you present this life to people say hey who wants to jump in who wants to join who wants to be involved even as a friend on facebook let's keep it over even for anyone a woman or a man to kind of be my friend and go along with my life they find it intimidating i mean they find it including there were some women who tried to seduce me away from melissa you know and and they felt like whoa i don't want to live up to this guy's standards you know and and that's a beautiful thing i am never going to try to talk one of those people into living up to my standards and i am never going to live down to their standards so yeah i think that's i think that's a an answer a quote why does eisel not talk about a sex life we all want to hear about it period this is not trolling so comment comment from ds so diaz i think you haven't been uh you haven't been watching the channel long enough i have many times made videos talking about myself and they are the most thumbs down videos on the channel the most hated i think actually the vast majority of my audience would prefer if i pretended i didn't have uh i didn't have a sex life at all say another another great question but not the not the title of this video what made you fall in love with melissa but look let's let's just be real so these are these are great questions i'm not offended by any of this didn't you already get a sense of this at the start of the video like whatever then the first 15 minutes the video i mean i really talked about living a meaningful life with melissa and how we're both powerfully positively motivated to keep this relationship going and make sacrifice even when it's not convenient there have been periods of time when we weren't living in the same city you know like the first time we've been separated by circumstances and it's really hard and you know there have been sources of conflict and tension and also just so just struggles about education and career you know the need to earn money the need to you know sure i mean there are just problems like that but you know there is this sense of having a meaningful life together which again it's also present even in silence like i just say like before i said okay this this was kind of rushed i said like this morning before i started live streaming i was up for more than an hour oh more than two hours uh i'll get up at 6 00 a.m and you know the fact that my girlfriend appreciates what i'm reading and why and what i'm interested in and she does also appreciate and support my physical fitness and health and stuff that's just not that high priority i'm not trying to win the olympic games or anything you know to have someone even if we don't talk about it it's there all the time and let me tell you something maybe there are some younger men and women in the audience and i can put you on game when you are with someone who disapproves of what you're reading when you are with someone who thinks that what you're reading is a [ __ ] waste of time or what you're doing with your career and stuff oh you feel that in the silence also right you get to wake up in the morning and deal with that silence even when you're not talking about it even when you're not fighting right when you're with someone who morally disapproves of you someone who intellectually doesn't understand you so look i think on that you know it's a great question we could make a whole bunch of videos talking about uh talking about all these all these things just briefly glancing down the rest of the questions here yeah um great question from the audience what about cats though and he says after realizing i felt the same way that isil does about pet ownership so it's someone else who's who's auntie cat uh in this sense um okay so look human nature does not consist entirely of social instincts obviously most of what these people talk about and what they fantasize about is the desire to be with other people to share your life with other people to have a life together and let's be clear too those social instincts they aren't just about getting laid and they aren't just about getting married and they aren't just about having kids either right social instincts in terms of evolutionary time are also about building a tribe building a community having people you can rely on to take care of you when you're sick having people you can rely on to defend you against barbarians you know for real i'm sorry if you have any study of any you know historical or ancient societies you don't have to go back into the mists of early um anthropological time we don't have to go back to the stone age it's very clear that our social instincts and our sexual instincts are not to produce a unit consisting of one man one wife and one child and by the way we're going to deal with gay relationships in this too which again fits into this larger notion of building a tribe building a small society so you guys know i used to live in laos i used to live in laos in cambodia and southeast asia and you can study the tribal societies that existed there in the past and you can study the travel societies that still exist there in the present if you have two people alone in the jungle they are going to die your ability to survive as just two people together in the jungle is zero your ability to raise a child is zero now you could get into actually what the minimum survival size is for a tribe so i will just mention this briefly there there has been research on this in laos i do think the research is somewhat biased and somewhat romanticized a lot of people wanted to romanticize tribal life and tribal survival but basically what people say in this field is that the higher you go up the mountain the smaller the size of the tribe so there there was one tribe in particular where i was in northern laos and they lived way up on the the pinnacle of the mountains you know where it's cold and they would survive with just like a nuclear family you know so i know like eight people in a house or something no village no town it'd be kind of one mountain top one one household now you know there are issues here about disease and how you get water and everything else and then the this is the kind of generalized anthropological wisdom was as you came down lower from the mountain into the rice paddies and into the jungle that you needed these larger and larger units to survive no one reason for that guys is slavery is defense is what thomas hobbes calls the war of all against all um to give you a sense of how constant and omnidirectional um you know war and slavery were in those cultures we have tribes up there northwestern corner of laos northeastern myanmar and then the adjacent corner of china you know these are modern borders they're not ancient borders reflecting the indigenous there are a lot of traditions out there of women tattooing their faces not men it's not it's not trying to look tough but women would tattoo their faces both to try to avoid being enslaved and turn into sex slaves basically but also so that if they were taken captive and enslaved so that they could be found afterwards so they could be identified so other people will be able to see them and of course oh you know there's a member of your tribe that's ended up enslaved over there i could see her with her facial tattoos because slaves very often aren't like they may be literally in chains they're not in a position where they can talk or show for help they just sit there they're forced to sit there silently but someone else can see it and then go back to try and go oh that's where one of your women ended up wasn't sleeping so yes you know self-defense in the most brutal and ancient sense is part of why we have these social instincts and everybody's got to sleep the strongest man in the jungle is equivalent to the weakest child when he is lying down to sleep anyone can kill him in his sleep so the need to have people who will defend you who will defend your village or defend your hut while you are sleeping all right this is what we have social instincts for we don't have social instincts just to get laid just to have one night stands all right um no i'm not saying this means you should never have one nice day i don't think there's some simple leap of inference you can take from this kind of evolutionary psychology and i always caution against that um you know it may be that a series of one-night stands is all that you have to enjoy in life and if so i pity you but you know i am also not saying that on this basis we should all go back to living in huts you know and we should all go back to living in stone age or bronze conditions all right the facts of anthropology the facts of ethnography ethnology evolution those facts do not present us with an ideal for a better future society and they do not provide us with values that we ought to live our lives according to today okay what we can discover through anthropology and evolution okay it's not a standard for you to live up to it's not an ideal for you to pursue however i'm here just fleshing out what do we mean by social instincts okay we don't mean that human beings by nature just want to cuddle and embrace everyone we don't mean that human beings just want to seduce and sleep with everyone and we don't mean this is really a 21st century thing we don't mean one man living alone in an apartment playing video games totally isolated he does his job or let's say he's a stock broker he just sits at his computer and do his job alone and then once every so many days he goes out to a nightclub where he uses a combination of let's say money alcohol and cocaine to sleep with a random stranger and then after that one night stand is over goes back and lives alone in his apartment right i'm just saying there were a lot of websites there's a lot of red pill stuff for this is the ideal life for them they live alone they play video games they don't talk to them when they don't put up their description then periodically they venture out to seduce some women and have you know short and a lot of people this is maybe the ideal for their sexuality during um during college right so i'm gonna pause and uh just reply to you so thanks we've got we've got some notes of appreciation from monsieur garcia he says thank you for your the tricky talk explain it well thank you and go for people to accept a fundamentally fundamentally tragic commentary a fundamentally tragic analysis where i'm saying to you um i have the answer to this question but it's bad news you know i have the solution to this problem but it's never going to work like i you know i'm i'm talking about this philosophically but i'm not lying to you i'm not giving you some overly optimistic sense of this wonderful solution i'm providing you for the rest of your life and my own life in that sense you know is a tragedy but it's a tragedy i embrace it's a tragedy i'm positive about it so as i was saying many minutes ago it's not that i think what the black pill people are doing is bad and evil and wrong right um it's the question of what next what now like if you can't have this fantasy if you can never be happy if you can never be happy because this was your notion of happiness and this is what you're pursuing and you've faced up to the fact that you can't have that okay what now what next you know and i can't say everybody has to deal with this i think though when you look at the tiny minority people who don't have to deal with this kind of disappointment in life i think you'll generally feel sorry for them i was just reading uh about you know the the real truth of who michael jackson was and obviously michael jackson's mental development was stunted by having too much success too early in life he was already a multi-millionaire and a success story i think eight years old or something so that was a very small child you know he already had this kind of success and i mean you know nobody would want to end up like michael jackson i mean you know i mean that if you know anything about this guy despicable awful human being and also a drug addict and everything else you know but i mean shockingly too michael jackson was heterosexual so this has now been proven a lot of people thought from his manner of speaking they thought he was gay or they thought he was a pedophile well no he was heterosexual he did sleep with women he did sleep with prostitutes so these things have come out after his death he managed to keep a clean image um but you know yes with the exception of people like michael jackson who are pitiable as exceptions to the rule all of us have to deal with this fundamental kind of disappointment that you know the hashtag blackpill people you know to some extent emblematize for us there are extreme cases of it coming out the internet and talking about their talking about their disappointment [Music] okay a bunch of other sympathetic uh comments here okay so so a couple people were talking about introversion um i left a comment on the internet about this the other day they got a bunch of thumbs up okay what you call introversion all right what if it's an excuse all right what is introversion okay some people have ambition some people care about making the world a better place they care about helping other people and they wake up every day to pursue those ambitions and help other people and make the world a better place and some people lack those redeeming qualities and they call it being an introvert okay i don't believe that socializing with others exists as an end in itself but let's take the the simplest and stupidest kind of charity let's talk about running a soup kitchen this is an american version let's talk about giving soup to poor hungry people let's get specific there are camps of refugees on the border near where you're living and you are gonna set up a soup kitchen where you go out and give free soup to people who are in some kind of internment camp or refugee camp okay it doesn't really matter it doesn't matter if we're talking about this being on the jordanian border it doesn't really the cambodian border we had refugee camps there for decades and decades and decades um you know okay if that's what you want to do and if that's what you care about all right you can't [ __ ] tell me that the reason you're not doing it is because you're an introvert you know and you can't conversely you can't tell me that the reason you are doing it is because you love people no you don't you don't love the people if you're actually going to get out and do that if you are actually going to go and have a soup kitchen and help refugees you are going to learn just how awful those people are face to face man to man one time you are going to work with people you're going to have colleagues that you hate oh god this this guy jim he's such a drag but you know i can't run the soup kitchen without him you're going to be thinking i'm looking for any excuse to fire jim i want to replace jim and get someone else to chop up the celery to make the soup and you know again if you have a soup kitchen to help drug addicts you're going to see how awful the drug addicts are if you have a stupid you know refugees you're going to see how awful the refugees are even if you start with some kind of delusion that this is about your social instincts that you love people that you love the people okay go to the people be the people see the people smell the people talk to the people right and you're gonna figure out you don't like the people anymore okay you're gonna figure how much you hate them and how much they hate you they hate you back they don't like you and if if one person out of a thousand that you help becomes your friend it's a [ __ ] miracle if one person out of a hundred that you work with at that soup kitchen becomes your real friend it's a miracle all right so that's that's a simple ambition running a soup kitchen any ambition any desire to make the world a better place any ability to help others it's incompatible with this thing that people call being an introvert but maybe what you're calling being an introvert is really that you're a lazy selfish piece of [ __ ] maybe you're lazy and you're selfish and you're hung up on short-term self-indulgence and you're vindicating that as a personal characteristic that you call introversion okay and i say that's [ __ ] all right if you go out and open a soup kitchen you know you won't be an introvert anymore period you'll be the most extroverted [ __ ] person in the world just dealing with managing that soup kitchen dealing with the other staff doing the fundraising getting the donations dealing with the beneficiaries anything anyway great great question though thank you all right so a brief question from silly men ali uh he says quote i like that you clarify what you mean when you make a point so you don't accidentally mislead people just like how you were clarifying the point you made about one night stands not being uh inherently bad okay great point this particular video is not really about one night stands but you're right it's not that it's inherently bad it's extrinsically bad and you know i have made videos talking with it before where what you have to ask yourself a question short term and long term is what kind of person am i trying to become how is this going to change who i am who am i trying to be but you know let's get so i have this relationship that's going on for uh four years with melissa what if melissa and i had met up and the relationship just didn't work if we weren't compatible well we wouldn't have intended for that to be a one-night stand right but you can go into situation with the best of intentions and it's a one-night stand or a one-week stand so no i'm not going to say one-night stands are inherently bad um but obviously i mean also in my critique i was saying well living your life all right so let's let's really let's address this profoundly but briefly all right um what is the basis of the political organization for a society like in principle what do we have a polity for what do we have a city for what do we have a country for what do we have an empire for we deal with a lot of empires in the world okay the answer to that question really shapes everything that happens in that society institutionally culturally and otherwise right like the principle of the foundation of the country of saudi arabia is different from the principle on which the united states of america is founded and it changes life there in every way all the time right the principle of being beholden to a king because you were born on his land you know it's it's different it changes things you know is does your government exist in principle to provide justice you know and now that's a very hard promise to live up to do the people and the bureaucrats do they all regard the doing of justice as being what government is fundamentally about or something more nobody does today nobody does people treat the justice system as this kind of ugly footnote to american democracy and they don't really want to deal with it don't really think about it or do you think of the function of government as being welfare programs you know so-called new deal social welfare i think that's very common today people think oh the reason government exists is to give handouts to give money to the poor give free stuff to people who didn't work to deserve it that has i mean that has profound knock-on consequences and sorry another one if you guys think um if you guys think that you know saudi arabia is too difficult an example to relate to how about thailand thailand has a kingdom like in some ways on the surface a much much more appealing kingdom culturally much easier for us to relate to all of you would be happier living in thailand than saudi arabia but you know when you get in that fundamental question of of what is government exists it's in this sense that i would really warn you about one night stance right so i said before look you know melissa and i met we were trying to fall in love we were trying to spend the rest of our lives together i was i mean you know i was re i said to melissa openly and i said to the other women who were pursuing me openly at the time melissa had competition i am looking for a woman who can meet my daughter you know who can be some kind of you know second mother to my daughter like that's what i'm looking for you know there's something to step up to here you know um however if we'd met and it just didn't work or we just weren't compatible then it could have been an effect on what i stand so that was you can see that's kind of the principle i was living my life for and then there's more than one possible outcome or consequence but sure you know if you're talking about living your life for one night stance where that's what your sexuality is about is meeting and seducing and discarding strangers you know on the basis either just to their appearance or a very brief evaluation of their character based on chit-chatting sure i think that's bad sure i think that's that's corrosive you know but sure i mean you know conversely you know conversely i've got to tell you something it's hard to be sex positive but i try and you know i mean what is what if there's some warmth in you if there's some generosity of spirit you know you can reach out to another person and fall in love with them for just one night and move on if you can do that and they can do that for you and you can have that together i mean how how does that really compare to downhill skiing parachuting cocaine i mean the things people do for fun the things people do that they think make them happy how does that compare to speed running video games repetitively playing the same video game over and over again for 100 hours so that you can get a world record in that video game you know i can't i can't say that sex is bad and i can't say that one night stands are bad i can't make that judgment whereas i'm completely willing to say that alcohol is bad and gambling is bad and downhill skiing is bad and cocaine is bad so you know it's hard to be sex positive but with all those warnings you know i try um great question is anyone else in the chat happily married thanks for coming i hope you give the video a thumbs up everybody everybody who's happily married give a thumbs up everyone is a miserable in-cell uh give a thumbs up everyone who's black filled you know um okay so another good way we got a lot of great questions and comments here and that's that's great but i do have to get back to my basic premise so silly man asks um do you have any tips for approaching women in high school and so you know silly man i think you are making the transition from high school the first year of university you mentioned university there also do you have any approach so that's that's great i i will digress to to deal with that but you know obviously it's part of the title of this this video it is related to what we're talking about in this video um you know that the ultimate game is no game thank you for the thumbs up it will help other people discover the video and join our audience while we're here uh even though we now have 57 people we've repeatedly repeatedly kicked everyone out started again but it's been great we we had 65 people before or something and whatever it is of this i can't expect people to have hours and hours free in the middle of the day here on announcement i appreciate all of you make a good time to come on okay look you know the problem with meeting women in high school the problem with meeting women in university is that they don't know who they are yet and they don't know what they want yet and they haven't demonstrated what they're capable of yet so you are making judgments about other people based on their potential rather than based on who they really are right and flip it around that's true for them about you too right they are making decisions based on your potential so if you are a 30 year old dating other 30 year olds you don't have to worry about that you're not dealing with potential you're dealing with who somebody really is what they can really do right you're dealing with you know way better it's way easier whether or not it's better you know when i got together with melissa she was 24 and it's partly a judgment based on who she is and it's partly a judgment based on who she could be and who she could develop into right for melissa melissa was not the most mature 24 year old bro she thought she was i mean she thought she was especially mature for a 24 year old and i think she learned in the years that fall that she really had a lot of growing up to do and a lot of maturing do uh between 24 and 28 you know now you know i think i made the right decision and it's been a huge investment of time and effort it has been emotionally and intellectually exhausting for both of us we've both made tremendous sacrifices to to uh make it work so someone someone in the audience writes in uh that yes he or she is now 23 years old and doesn't know who they are what they're doing i think i think this is a woman writing i think that she's 23 just know who she is so now look i do not mean this as an insult right you know um i do not mean to say it's a bad thing for someone who is 17 18 19 20 to not know who they are and i know what they want it's not it's not a problem to be immature when you're like what do you expect you know why would you expect that okay so this is one aspect of it so i i'm giving this to you as real life advice for your romance life so man you know when you approach these women when you talk to these women or if you're gay then it's men approaching whatever whether men approaching women women approaching men whatever the combination is when you're approaching people you've got to kind of do it with the spirit of you know who do you think you want to be you know with this kind of awareness and with a knowledge that you're doing the same for them you're letting the person hey you know this is who i think i want to be this is this is what i want to you know this is what i think i want to become this is what i think i want to accomplish and you may be wrong and they may be wrong and within a few years both of you might have given up on your dreams some people want to be a ballet dancer and they figure they don't want to be in the ballet you want to be a police officer and you figure you really don't want to be in the police force and these are simple examples right but like on a deep level what you're going through while you're in university has to do with this kind of questioning of yourself and others and that's delicate and let me tell you something here in canada white people in english speaking canada the number one attitude you get the number one reply you're gonna get is don't you know who i think i am who do you think you are probably should have said that the other way around the point being that they simultaneously reproach you they reproach you saying who do you think you are don't you know who i think i am it's this overblown misplaced sense of confidence that they already know precisely what it is that they can't know that they're already committed to a life path and so on which you know in the vast majority of cases of course is going to end in disaster or not last you know how many people do you know who completely committed to dropping out of college and devoting their time to a youtube channel for example and a few years later they reconsider that decision dropping out of high school even um you know this is a time in your life when people are supposed to be 110 commit 110 committed to being a medical doctor when they have no idea yet how boring and awful medical science is or how denigrating it is to work in a hospital whether it's as a nurse or a doctor people are committed to being a lawyer and they present oh i'm a i'm a young up-and-coming lawyer oh you know nothing about what the practice of the law is like you know nothing what that's going to do to you and how it's going to change you and what that's going to be wrong and you know so on down into much more specific areas of studies so that's hard that's hard for everyone you know now coming back to the title this video you know um the ultimate game is no game so i've said that i've set this up with the kind of sensitive sensitivity to the these aspects unh and then in that context i really feel the ultimate game is no game the ultimate game is just to meet these people you present yourself and this is coming back to the main point of this video you know and you feel out and you have a sense for is this somebody i would want to have coffee with is this somebody i would want to have lunch with is this somebody i want to have friends with and those are much lower levels of compatibility and common interest than is this somebody i would want to put my penis inside impregnate and spend the rest of my life with right like that's that's a huge level of commitment that comes after that right um yeah so there's a bunch of intelligent comments in the uh in the comments section but i don't think i'm going to digress to you know to deal with them okay so let's get back to the fundamental point of this video and then we got to read and reply to the question from the audience this is inspired by um people have social instincts but they also have anti-social instincts okay very fundamental to life on earth are not just those instincts that drive people to come together and form a family drive families to come together and form a tribe or a clan or you know to live in a village together to form a society on even a smaller scale those social instincts that drive people to develop mutual respect mutual trust you know like i'm gonna go to sleep and i trust that you are gonna stay awake and guard the village and you're gonna bang a drum or something to wake us up if something lights on fire it's a huge problem in ancient society sorry relying on fire for everything and everything is flammable like your house is made out of flammable materials everything's made out of flammable materials but you rely on keeping fires going all the time 24 7 keeping fires going so you are going to wake us up if the fire gets out of control you are going to wake us up if wild animals attack us or if the next tribe over an adjacent tribe comes to enslave us i am going to trust you these are there are powerful social instincts that drive us out of our apartments drive us away from our computers and our video games till this day to meet other people and seek out a more meaningful life with them and helping other people and trying to make the world a better place okay um there's a lot going on in the social institute okay but we don't have social instincts only just as important equally important or even more important are the anti-social instincts and we vilify this in our culture it's just as important that you judge people and you say and you feel i don't want to have coffee with you i don't want to have this conversation with you i don't want to eat lunch with you i don't trust you and i don't want to trust you i don't want to put i don't want to get to know you and learn to trust me i don't want to share my life with you much less are you someone i want to have sex with get pregnant with reproduce and raise children you know what i mean um you know so the negative index the negative metric the negative indication for how these instincts work i think that's really a very useful guide to what it is to have game and why i say in this sense the ultimate game uh is no game so when a woman rejects a man and she may reject him in a shallow catty or insulting way okay we tend to dismiss this as if it's some personal failing as if it is an evil as if it subtracts from and doesn't add to our society or what is human nature we're constantly especially the people who are in the the black pill and the red pill and the blue pill all these people carrying with dating religion okay we have to instead treat that as a primary fact in life that what all of us are doing all the time is rejecting one another every day you are meeting and interact with other people whether they are your classmates your co-workers your colleagues people you meet at the grocery store you know you meet people you talk to people briefly you interact with them and even if both sides are completely polite you reject them you have conclusion this is not somebody i want to try to meet up with and have a cup of coffee this is not somebody i want to have lunch with this is not somebody i want to share my life with this is not somebody i trust or want to trust let alone you know uh have a child and you're doing this all the time whether you're aware of it or not and the other person may feel rejected also you may not be aware that you've just heard their feelings because they really did want to have a coffee with you they really did want to have lunch with you or maybe they were even thinking you could become a friend of theirs like i have a meaningful relationship with the rest of your life or maybe they were thinking you might want to get them pregnant or vice versa this might be the person you have you'd have children with and you have just shut them down you have rejected them it's something we're doing every day over and over again all the time all right it is part of the constant drum beat of daily life is rejection rejection rejection rejection all every day all the time every minute of the day unless you're alone at home with your computer right and then once in a long while once whether it's once a month or once a year you meet someone where you want to overcome those anti-social instincts and you want to find out what it is you have in common you want to climb over that fence you want to overcome that hostility and develop that trust develop that mutual admiration and appreciation and really have them whether it is romantic or platonic you want to have them as a long-term part of your life all right i think the fundamental error going on for the black pill people and the red pill people is it's a false sense of what is default like these guys complain like oh whoa i'm a perfectly attractive guy in my mid-20s why are these women rejecting me dude every time you go to the grocery store you're rejecting people every time you go to class every time you go to work you are surrounded by people all the time and you think this person is too stupid this person is too ugly this person is a member of a religion i disagree with this person is ethically abhorrent to me this person is a drug addict all the time you are judging people and rejecting them you aren't offering to have coffee with all these people you aren't offering to have lunch these people there's this one person that stands out in your imagination and you feel that all of society is a [ __ ] conspiracy against you you think that feminists and liberalism have created a society that's unfair to you because the one woman you're attracted to who you didn't want to reject you did you know you don't treat this as a primary fact of life as the drum beat of human life you feel in a full sense entitled to be accepted whenever you desire someone you assume desire is reciprocal and it's not i'm even gonna go further it never is okay what's universal are these anti-social instincts what's reciprocal by default is exactly this distrust this distance this standoffishness and how do you overcome it all right you overcome it by having something meaningful in common right you overcome it through the extraordinary recognition this is someone who cares about the same things i care about this is someone who is going to wake up in the morning and read the same books i'm reading is going to care about the things i'm reading this is someone who cares ethically politically in whatever sense look even if it were the pure sciences even if this is so you've got someone who's dedicated their life to the study of organic chemistry and they meet this one other person who really sympathizes with the research they're doing or what they care about maybe it's even their hobby you know a lot of people you study chemistry university it's not how you earn your living but you know in their spare time they're really committed to the literature for what's going on in organic chemistry you know whatever it is you need someone where you have this thing in common and you say okay wow i want to have lunch with you i want to take that first step i want to devote a number of hours to getting to know you on your terms and there are going to be bad things about your character they're going to be things i dislike about you and i'm going to accept them i'm going to accept you all in all all the good and the bad bundled up i'm going to cope with it right because of this common ground because of this thing that helps us overcome you know our mutual alienation our mutual distrust even we could say our mutual hatred right we have to treat the rejection as something positive and if you don't think it's positive just stop and reflect on how much rejection you engage in yourself that you know you meet people every day who are too stupid to be worth your time male or female gay or straight doesn't matter whether it's platonic or man you think this person's an idiot and and maybe you tell them they're an idiot maybe you insult them the vast majority of times you don't best the vast major attempts you reject them but you think i'm just going to keep this civil i've got to see this person at work every so often or i've got to see this person at the grocery store i'm going to keep this open and i'm going to let this person know i don't want to have coffee with you i don't want to have lunch and sure the main reason is stupidity and you know what the people you have common ground with the people you you feel this passion you know to share your life with whether platonic or romantic whether just for friendship or for reproduction right you know what in some part of their life they may be stupid also and again when i talk about accepting what's wrong you know if you with a lot of these people in your life you'll think if i didn't know about this thing we had in common if i didn't know this common interest this common passion that brought us together i would have judged them for being stupid because they're stupid in this other part of their life right now we can give a million examples but you know it's like oh i know this person they really care about the politics of china i care about the politics of china also so we become friends it doesn't matter whether we're friends or we become lovers it really doesn't the person's concern but we overcome okay wow so let's spend time and have lunch and you know you care about chinese politics okay they smoke cigarettes how can you be so stupid let's say this person may have a whole list of things wrong with them they smoke cigarettes let's say they take prozac every day they're on a daily dose of prostate let's say they take adhd meds and they drink alcohol and they eat meat all right of course i could say if i had met this person in different circumstances i just met them at the grocery store and we chit-chatted lamb this is all i know about you is ooh cigarettes alcohol meat you know and let's say they got their prescription bottles and whoa you're a trainer i don't want to know you i don't want to okay but the point is you will meet and you will share your life with people when there is something in common that motivates you to overcome those those antisocial instincts so this is why i say my my critique of the black pill movement is most these guys are correct their hopelessness if regarded as a single stage of analysis is correct the problem is that it's short-term thinking the problem is it's a single stage of analysis instead of looking at your whole life over a period of decades and decades instead of looking at how can i lead a meaningful life and then involve other people in that meaningful life and some of them are going to love me and some of them are just going to be my colleagues and some of them are going to be my my you know enemies some of them are going to hate me so they're going to be my rivals that's a good word some of them are going to compete with me there's maybe a mixture of admiration and hatred some kind of friction you know and some of them are going to have sex with me and some of them are going to raise my kids what what am i going to do with that over time right and obviously it's got to come out of these kinds of these kinds of passions right you can't have common ground with other people if all you care about is playing mario 64. all you care about is video games all you care about is your selfish short-term indulgence if you don't have ambitions if you aren't accomplishing something great or something meaningful let me just point out it's completely subjective okay of course it's subjective give you here's a real down-to-earth example let's just say you are an african-american you're born and raised black in the united states of america and you know what your passion is your passion is going back to the canon of english literature stuff like shakespeare stuff like jane eyre and pulling it apart and putting together new dramas new movies that make this meaningful to the african-american experience so you say hey i want to do an all-black hamlet hamlet is a famous play by shakespeare i want to do an all black you know dragon you know whatever maybe get deeper into this literature you know you want to do you want to make a jane eyre that means something to the african-american experience this may sound corny there's a lot of money in this trust me you could get this sounds like a terrible idea it's the kind of idea that makes a lot of money gets a lot of support okay if you are passionate about that think about what other kind of people you're going to meet you know there are there are lots of people there probably less people in this audience who will sit here and say well that's a stupid passion to have who the hell wants to spend their time and effort reinterpreting shakespeare for an african-american audience does it okay challenge yourself on this what if you're japanese what if you want to translate shakespeare into japanese and have an all-japanese hamlet you want to have shakespeare but instead they're samurai with samurai swords and armor and it's in japanese and it relates to the japanese renaissance or medieval experience if you want to put this oh oh oh okay now oh okay now i can relate okay so it's meaningful for african-americans too by the way it's meaningful for africans in africa it could be black people in africa say hey i want to take this literature and appropriate it and reinterpret it and make it meaningful to our culture or something okay obviously you are going to get laid can you can you [ __ ] i mean this is shooting fish in a barrel it's not the point you're not studying shakespeare in order to get laid whether you did this in japan or in africa or brazil or georgia in the united states of america of course this is going to bring friends into your life and colleagues and if you in the audience think this is [ __ ] and think this is a waste your time it's subjective maybe you're right maybe there's something better you could be doing with your time than shakespeare i don't think shakespeare is the greatest thing in the world with your time it's on a scale of one to ten it's better than playing video games but it's worse than something else you do you know it's of some moderate level of meaningfulness but you will meet the other people who share your values who share your passions you will meet the other people who perceive what you're doing as great right and some of them are going to want to have sex with you and i don't even think it's a stretch to say even if you're ugly yeah there are limits you know if you're incredibly ugly if you have two noses if you're horribly deformed you know like i've talked about in other videos people talk about there's relative ugliness there's absolutely if you have such an extreme deformation that you know nobody's going to sex you okay i accept that there are some people who are that disadvantaged but if you are moderately ugly if you are a 3 out of 10 the people who want to have sex to you will find you and if you're so ugly that nobody has sex with you still this will be a way for you to have friends for you to have colleagues you'd have the the raw materials for a meaningful life by getting committed this way and i'm sure you guys remember most you were in the audience we've had some new people joining thanks for hitting thumbs up it's brought new people in the audience as i said it would i gave the example of running a soup kitchen as opposed to being an introvert you see obviously the same thing you would have to be a psychopath to study shakespeare and put on a shakespeare play in order to get laid you would have to be a psychopath to start a soup kitchen and start a charity that's helping the poor you know in order to get laid however yes you know of course having a meaningful life in this way of course it's going to lead to you to you actually getting played i'm going to pause and just uh look at some of these some of these comments somebody says don't disparage the speed runners [Laughter] so i have made i have made some youtube videos talking about speed running and playing video games and and uh uh quitting videos okay we got we got a whole bunch of uh a whole whole bunch of interesting questions here somebody says the best that most of us are going to get is 80 percent to make make sure your values are aligned are you like 80 percent compatibility right okay so uh good things uh um mercia or musica i'm not sure about this person i'm not sure if you're male or female either for this discussion whether you're male or female might okay but like how much you have in common with somebody right like how much common ground you got something in some ways that's going to be relative to also the greatness of your ambitions together right um let's just say you get together with somebody who has a nice body good-looking man a good-looking woman again whether you're straight gay male female you know whatever combinations let's say you find someone who's attractive to you but they're an idiot they watch sports on tv and you don't you're too let's presume you yourself are too smart to waste time what are you supposed to do let's say they smoke marijuana and drink alcohol and play video games and they live this life this way okay and every day you resent it you feel like you're with a snob party you feel like you're with a slob all right you feel like you're with someone who's just not making heaven they may think that you are a snob to words that sound similar in english to tolerance they think you're a snob you think they're a slob you feel disappointed with them you feel let down you're with this schlemiel but they're hot like you were attracted to them in the first place but let's say the sex is at least good when you really despise someone i don't know if the sex can be right you know i'm just being honest if you really i feel free to write it and disagree oh no having sex with people you have no intellectual respect for could be great couldn't tell you but you know um you know okay but what if your life together is running a convenience store it's very common husband and wife open a convenience store okay is that meaningful enough to make that relationship work or when you wake up in the morning you're sitting in new york are you talking about how business is going the convenience store oh you know we have that new shipment coming in we're doing this we're doing that you know maybe yes you know like i'm just being real with you you can be in a relationship with a schlemiel and they are awful and the amount you have in common is very little but just the fact that you run this business together is enough you know the greater your ambitions are the greater the passion pushing you towards those ambitions you know the more the more that's gonna that's gonna make it work and you know guys the other women i've had who've approached me you know really seriously wanted me they've had advantages and disadvantages i used to say all the time openly on the internet i assumed i would get with a vegan single mom that would get with someone who already had a kid you know so obviously if you go into that relationship you have a complex relationship with a woman you have a complex relationship with their kid you probably have accomplished issue with their ex-husband and you have a relationship with the parents and grandparents and other people connected to this complex family it doesn't start you know there are a lot of disadvantages there and that that person will have their own disadvantages of character you know whatever their own their own shortcomings but you know is there some great project some great ambition are you running a business together are you trying to save the world together are you running a stupid you know to ask about the life you live together and positively what it is that's pushing you forward right all their defects of character all the disadvantages they're going to be evaluating that kind of so look us uh there hasn't been a lot of self-criticism in this video right but i was very sensitive to this in terms of my relationship with my first wife right because when she got with me i was super motivated as a scholar of buddhism also humanitarian work also this also that right it's very and you know i really had to talk to her about knight feels like look how do you feel about this when i've come to a point in my life where i am quitting being a scholar of buddhism i'm taking on a whole different sense of of meaning and purpose you know so i i'm just saying that's not all advantages i mean no she didn't respond to it that way my first wife was completely in love with me and we could get into why that is and what she loved doing but she was someone who was completely in love with being completely committed to me and at least in terms of what she stated there was no doubt in her mind that she wanted to be with me even if i was not a scholar of buddhism anymore we had to talk about that several times you know that had to come come up from different angles it's not just one conversation you have once if you get committed to someone that way you know but being with someone so i was with her when she so let's turn this around i was with her when she was an anthropologist getting a phd in anthropology she gave up on that you know after we broke up she completely on anthropology so we could ask the same hypothetical question later would i have still been happy staying with her if she gave up on all of her intellectual political moral aspirations the type of activism because there is this kind of act you know um so right i am self-critical and i'm willing to admit there are there are disadvantages to this um but yeah i'm here to preach the advantages i sincerely believe that all of you should take you know take that take that seriously and live your lives accordingly it's it's a rare case i'm talking about something here morally that i think is true for all people in all times in all cultures you know this is advice that i think is universal and i don't do that that often there aren't that many things that i can say it's not just true for me it's true for you it's true for everyone but that yes this is how you should live your life and i think in an absolute sense what the black pill people are saying are wrong and what the red pill people are saying are wrong and so on and let me just ask also you know with the with my competition with the advice other people are giving you what if you fail what is your consolation prize what that what if it doesn't work out right if you if you become a womanizer if you start drinking and hanging around nightclubs and having one night stands if that's the life you live and that's the person you become and it doesn't turn out the way you you want it to what kind of person are you at the end of that when you come to the end of that road or even in the middle in the beginning the middle or the end you know um you are you are really you're sacrificing the person you could have become you're becoming a terrible person for terrible reasons frankly but even if you don't but you know if you don't succeed what's the consolation prize with the advice i'm giving you if you don't succeed if you end up alone still you've lived a wonderful life and you've uh you know you've become a wonderful person you've become a better person um okay um interesting question off topic i'll just say really quickly sam writes in and asks this is a sincere question have you always been so comfortable with insulting people question mark almost everyone i know will always try to avoid insulting anyone unless it's impossible um [Music] you know so no i mean at age 11 or something you know this is this is not an innate characteristic um when you deal with real things as an adult that have real consequences i think it's appropriate and important to say to people look this is the truth this is the problem this is the solution and if you find that insulting go ahead get upset you know it's okay for you to get upset it's okay for you to be angry at me it's okay for you to be sad and then tomorrow we are gonna change this we are gonna make a change you know sorrow and suffering are a positive part of life you know and encouraging people to live in a state of their own optimistic self-delusion it's massively destructive to everyone involved you know very often the truth you have to share with someone is insulting it is hurtful it does hurt their feelings you know and often if you diluted it to the point that they didn't feel insulted they wouldn't get the message they'd ignore it and they wouldn't make the change so you know um melissa is making a video that's not finished yet this is more about the sorrow and the suffering and not not being insulted but it's being confronted with sign and melissa was getting very upset making this video and she was asking the question why she should make the video at all not just because someone else could make it better but specifically that i could make it better like if i made a video on the same topic you know and it was an in-depth meaningful discussion but part of what i said to her is look at how upset you are right now making this video this is why you should make the video right it's true if i made it it would be effortless but like you are going through this process of doing this research and gathering your own thoughts and opinions and putting this together and presenting a video like you know you are doing something hard you are getting out of your comfort zone you are getting uncomfortable you are challenging yourself you know creatively and intellectually and emotionally and you're having this breakdown right now like you're miserable right now that's why you shake the video that's why someone else shouldn't do it for you nobody else can do push-ups for you i can do push-ups you can do push-ups if i do 10 times more push-ups than you that doesn't mean it's pointless for you to do push-ups you have to do your own push-ups if i can interpret aristotle better than you that doesn't mean you don't have to read aristotle you read aerosol yourself you have your own interpretation of aristotle whether it's aristotle or thucydides or shakespeare there is there is something about you know you doing it for yourself so you know the question from sam was about have you always been comfortable with insulting people's way the fundamental thing to be comfortable with is sorrow which is what this video started talking about that was the opening of this video sorrow and suffering and misery and disappointment they're part of life and you have to embrace them why to learn so that you learn so that you adapt so that you grow and you have to recognize it so this video began by saying look these black pill people and these red pill people they're coming out and sharing their sorrow and suffering and we have to be willing to treat that as legitimate even you know as opposed to kind of stereotypical left-wing feminist response of shutting it down and silencing it and shaming them for feelings but like no people aren't happy with their lives but you know um learning involves suffering you know and that is why i'm comfortable with telling people truths that are too terrible to tell and you know um yeah i just i deeply do not believe in blissful ignorance that goes far beyond the critique of religion for me it uh you know it involves all these other things in our life to uh to a tremendous extent okay i'm reading the rest of these comments about intelligent stuff but i don't i don't think i need to respond to each and every one so yeah briefly though someone just commented that more than 50 of marriages end in divorce it varies a bit from country to country but yes it's a safe bet wherever you're living it might be 50 it might be 60 it might be as low as 45 yes and i think we've already in this video outlined a bunch of very very good reasons as to why that is so junebug asks you know have we moved on to the white pill now well i think that's that's what i'm outlining in this video is a sense of a radical alternative opposite to the black pill that acknowledges the complaints and the misery the black pillar are based on but that transcends the kind of short-term thinking and ultimately self-sabotaging pessimism that black colors have that presents instead a fundamental optimism that you can lead a meaningful life you can blaze a trail and then other people will want to lead that meaningful life with you we'll get on board with you so alex you've been writing in again and again asking me to define meaningful i just feel that's not the purpose of this video but i think i've made many videos talking about what is a meaningful life and what is the meaning of life in fact i have a playlist for that don't i how about i think of it um i have a playlist that is called the meaning of life and it's something like not not meant sarcastically like you know like no like seriously this is this is a playlist about um what is the meaning of life um i don't really want to interrupt this live stream now to find that but there is such a playlist i have made videos very specifically talking about what is a meaningful life what is the meaning of life i i've made videos talking about um meaning in the context of nihilist philosophy and i could add this video to this playlist so this is there is the link i did find the playlist for you so alex if that's what you want to know we have i have made a video starting with that that's not the topic of today's video topic today's video is the ultimate game is no game okay so we've talked a great deal about this the idea of anti-social instincts being primary in our encounters with other people not secondary and not something you should be shamed for okay so i wanna say this really clearly if you see a good-looking hard-working intelligent sober woman okay why should she want to have lunch with you why should she want to go to a coffee shop and drink coffee with you all right and if you turn it around if you're a good-looking intelligent hard-working man ask yourself the same question there are people who want to have lunch with you and people want to have sex and you don't want to have lunch and most often it's because they're too stupid you know it's they're just not interesting you're not interested right and it's there's this sick thing in our culture of vilifying the woman for not being interested and blaming the woman for rejecting you and that is the most fundamental social virtue right she should do that she should do that to everybody and you do too i mean every one of these you all do every day you are rejecting innumerable people who would like to get to know you better whether that's coffee or lunch or a two-hour conversation and you are saying you are expressing implicitly or x again again no no no no no i am not going to have lunch with you i am not going to put two hours into getting to know you so you have to embrace that and accept that as primary not as secondary not as a distraction not as a detraction from what we're talking about here and then i'm saying the way to move forward is to have passions where you develop things that you profoundly have in common with other people so that you overcome that uh antagonism that alienation so that you know people accept you and they they want to have lunch with you for exactly exactly these kinds of reasons um and again if you actually organize a soup kitchen if you actually organize uh an all-black cast of actors to do an african-american reinterpretation of shakespeare's hamlet you'll know people your work you'll work with people you'll find out what you have in common politically ethically personally aesthetically in in some way you know and you'll you'll work from there so you read this question out a question from a member of the audience he writes in saying that he is a 22 year old gay man romantically interested in another man who's in his thirties the other man the man he's approaching is an intellectual and the guy writing into me is not however he would like to become an intellectual eventually he asks are there any do's and don'ts when it comes to dating loving or caring with intellectuals coming from your perspective asthma so i'll just quote this directly because a little bit touching he says this guy is so special to me and i don't want to push him away because of my stupidity right so i feel in this video i have already set out all of the moving parts here i think you can assemble the answer to this question from each of the considerations i've i've set out for you here already right now i do think it's positive to live up to other people's standards i do think it's positive to live up to other people's expectations of you i do think it's the most wonderful thing in the world to live with someone where you feel motivated to read a book because you don't want to let them down you feel motivated to do the research because you don't want to let them down you feel motivated to study chinese because you don't let them down you feel motivated to study french to learn something to work hard and yes on a much shallower level maybe you wake up and you feel motivated to go to the gym and do push-ups because you don't want to let them down you know to live up to another person's standards to live up to another person's expectations can be a powerful positive thing and if you don't have that in your life you'll crave it if you're in a relationship with some schlemiel who has nothing in common with you intellectually you're with someone who just watches sports on the couch and you'll think i wish i was with someone where i would wake up in the morning and they're reading the same kind of books i read or they're encouraging me to read these books and they care you know i wish i was with someone who had this positive feedback loop in my life where they are supporting my interests and aspirations and i'm supporting their aspirations and more compatible in these ways right okay but that's talking about a relationship you are already in that you're already a part of it's a very different thing to talk about developing yourself intellectually to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't love you back maybe someone you don't even really know yet like maybe it's someone you know from afar you know i don't know how distant these people are maybe something you'll have a slight acquaintance with you know i don't know i don't know what the the nature of this of this is two things here you know intellectual development is not competitive right and it's compatible because what we do with this kind of research it's always going to be so unique to ourselves it's going to be unique to us right the purpose of me doing push-ups is not for me to do more push-ups than you the purpose of me doing research of me doing this reading it doesn't compete with you it inevitably complements you if you know if i've already read aristotle and i have a good interpretation of aristotle if i've already read thucydides when melissa reads aristotle or melissa she's going to have her own perspective her own analysis her own questions there's something inelectably inescapably unique about what you bring to the books you read there's something inescapable unique about what you take from the books you read and then how you use it what you're going to do with it once you've once you've read those books right but the challenge here for this young man is do you think you can step up do you think you can show that you have so much passion so much verve so much ambition so much tenacity that you can create this common ground that this guy you have a crush on looks at you and thinks wow you've done this reading or you have this interest or you're you're pursuing this ambition this is the kind of person you are this is the kind of person you want to come okay wow i want to have lunch with you i want to i want to get to know you i want to share my life with you i want to see you know where the rest of this is going um [Music] and you are correct you know precisely what you are fighting against is the tendency and the practice and the habit of mind that we all have and that is perfectly virtuous of going around and rejecting people saying thinking and feeling no no no too stupid too boring too ugly too pointless we have too little in common that you don't want this person to think and feel that having lunch with you is fundamentally not worth their time