Dealing with disrespectful questions (vegan / vegans / veganism)

yo what up new books on my desk this
stuff is uh preparing for teaching English in China although I'm first going to be a student of Chinese and then later a professor teaching university classes over there but teaching English in a formal university lecture format so we'll see what's up with that in due course the subject of this video is not that serious but it is I think very useful for many of my viewers that's already interesting contrast between what's serious and what's useful but I mean some of the videos on this channel are very very very serious in tone I had this recent interview with Zarya you can see it as a video a few days ago or you can download it as a podcast it's like an hour and a half long we both laugh and cry during that conversation we both of us like briefly break down in tears it was like a long silence after that and that's real that one video like to be honest with you I think there's more real content in that video about veganism about activism about life and everything else suddenly there's more content in that one video than some people have in their whole Channel and I'm really I'm really proud that we made that video and she's not a close friend of mine she's not I mean you know we got that real that's the first conversation we've ever had together so some of the stuff I had my channel you can respect it or check it but this video is is responding to a question I got from a much younger female viewer and she lives in Canada part of Canada I'm basically familiar with and she's struggling with something I think a lot of my viewers struggle with it every age which is how it deal with questions that are basically hostile sometimes kind of demeaning and insulting questions from non vegans including her own mother including her her mom now so say in giving her advice she asked for my advice to give some specific pointers what I have to say is I think useful but it's not that serious a lot of what goes on in these sorts of conversations it really boils down to understanding the function of the question as opposed to focusing on the particular words that are being said so for me as an adult man in Western culture someone might come up to me alright I'm gonna give examples that are specific to my life someone might ask me a question about Buddhism they might ask a particular question and they let's say they phrase it in terms of that someone walks up to me says how dare you criticize bhikkhu bodhi so I used to be a scholar of Buddhism I have written critiques of piccu Bodhi there she very polite critiques the bhikkhu bodhi is a particular Buddhist monk and this person may ask me a question but the real function of the question apart from the wording is that this person is really asking do I know what I'm talking about they may also be asking are my intentions good was my heart in the right place when I wrote this critique of a well-known Buddhist monk right and my answer that question might be completely disregarding the particular words the particular thing they're asking I might say back to them you know I've met bhikkhu bodhi I talked to him for quite a few hours and perseverant you he's gonna say back to that oh really oh wow okay and then I might say you know um I remember the first time I sent him an email tell the I thought about that I might say I remember how I went to his Buddhist temple under these conditions and met him and talked to him I might elementos for that I might provide information about me and Who I am and my motives and information that demonstrates that I know what I'm talking about and that I'm acting with faith that doesn't answer their question in any way and yet it it really responds to the function of the question they were asking me because I recognized the reason why they're asking me that question and I'm responding to that now I mean sometimes the reasons what people ask you these questions can be nasty sometimes they're just you a question to insult you so another part of my life a lot of what I've been doing has been the study of languages right and I've studied some obscure languages like lotion I've also studied the language like pally pally is even more obscure oh that's debatable which one is more obscure lotion or pally lotion is the language of the Lao people in Southeast Asia so let's say someone comes up to me and asked me a question and regardless of the particular wording the real function of the question is to insinuate that I don't know what I'm talking about that I didn't really learn the language that I didn't really study the language or that I don't know as much as someone who was a PhD in that language now again this actually I'm gonna come back to veganism this is pretty closely parallel to the type of the type of challenges you get on on veganism and you know it's really worthwhile to respond to those things and with its self-confident but that recognizes the problem you know if people do that to me it's been a long time similar did that to me it depends the guys but I might say we're spawning to the function of the question not to the wording I may disregard completely the actual question ask me I say yeah you know it's really hard it's really hard to learn the language so I might start is acknowledging it's not easy and I don't think I'm the greatest master in the world might just recognize by saying it's really hard and likewise I'm going to come back to veganism you can respond to questions about veganism by acknowledging yeah you know it's hard it's not easy it's hard to learn the language I remember living in a grass hut on the Mekong River the huts are actually made of bamboo we say we say craft bamboo hut sleeping under a mosquito net with no electricity and having a flashlight and studying you know a textbook that I had made up of photocopies and computer printouts from like bits and pieces of like US Army manuals on the language I had some materials created by Christian missionaries like this is an obscure enough language that you're not using like real textbooks a lot of the time you're using bits and pieces of things that you've put together like yeah you know what it's really hard and there are very few people who are real experts in the language and I might tell some other anecdotes I might tell anecdotes yeah you know what I remember one time I was standing on the banks of the Mekong River I just been doing some push-ups while waiting for this boat to pick me up and these guys came up to me in Lao speaking into loud language and they were really impressed with my chest hair I've been doing push-ups we were waiting for hours for that boat by the way I don't do this morning for five minutes or if a boat was delayed for a long long time which is also very typical of love and um they asked me in Lao did you grow this hair yourself or did you pay money for it that was question alert and I could tell an Android with the answers I gave in Lao and how I struggled to put together the vocabulary to come with that answer now that might not answer the question put to me at all the but the function of the question was this person insulting me or challenging me or wanting to know do I really know what I'm talking about am I really sincere am I really real and I'm coming back in a way that's really real and I'm coming back in a way that maybe acknowledges underlying problems or contradictions so that's how I've gone through my life and I think that approach works quite well with Americans I'd say it probably works it works well with Americans works well with Chinese people does not work very well with the British as a significant contrast I've already complained a lot about British culture on this channel but that kind of honesty isn't really not always rewarded with the British so you can observe that I think it works pretty well with the Swedes works pretty well with the Finnish and the Norwegians it works pretty well with the Germans not as well as the Americans but that's when I talk about keeping it real on this channel that is one method of keeping it real and I do not spawn to those challenges by saying to someone who do you think you are or don't you know who I think I am I think that's really counterproductive and you just escalate hostilities so coming back to veganism when people challenge you in this way on veganism it's not weak to acknowledge the problems you're being presented with it's strong you know and a lot of the time these are people who don't want to hear a lecture about animal rights that don't that you have to recognize the function of the question they're asking you so you know she gives example of what about the people picking the plants and the farms what about the rights of the farm laborers now I have made several videos about this old truck I'll provide a link below this video to one one that I think is still good talking about that question have you actually been to a farm do you actually think about farm laborers which is a meaning it's a meaningful question I can easily give a one-hour lecture on it right now or if someone asked me but in real life if someone challenges me with that question they don't want to hear a one-hour lecture that's not the function of the question they're not sincerely interested that extent they are testing your sincerity the goodness of your intent of whether or not you know what you're talking about other things they're testing your character really you know and they're only secondarily interested in veganism so some one specific example someone says to you well what about the exploitation of farm workers you can say you can see right back to them the same way I said about you know what learning to allow language is hard you know what studying with a Buddhist monk in a monastery is hard yeah you know what I know about that I've had that experience so when I write a criticism of it it's coming from a place with something really real something I care about something I have experience with something I've done so yeah I am in a position to talk about that language to talk about Buddhism this is Who I am I'm gonna testify yeah you know what it's hard it's hard to make a difference in labor rights for migrant workers we're gonna form it's a big problem yeah I agree now you know what that's not a reason to drink the milk out of a cow's titty and if you can say that to someone straight looking in their eyes you know like you've just pointed out the absurdity of the connection of these things but you've acknowledged you know what you make a good point I'm concerned about labor rights on farms in southern Ontario back when I was living in southern Ontario we had farm laborers from Nicaragua coming to work illegally picking fruit on farms and southerners are doing other tat you know the tobacco farms everything else I don't know now if it's still in the keurig ones I've heard lately a lot about Filipinos working on fruit farms in Ontario but anyway it's probably all of the above yeah there are real questions of illegal migrant laborers questions of how well they treat you know even Canadian citizens who work on those farms too and so I'm sure you know what that's an issue but that is not a reason to get down on your hands and knees and suck the milk out of a cow's udder is it homeboy like I said this video is not that serious but it's useful I mean this is really what you're doing in that kind of short conversation if somebody is pointing out to you a contradiction within veganism you can acknowledge that you can own that you can say yeah you know what this is a problem veganism doesn't solve every problem in the world I had a good one Jake Eames was writing to me he's really concerned about people dumping plastic into the oceans as a totally legit problem you know he's vegan whatever but you know veganism can't claim to eliminate all plastic garbage in the world veganism is something really positive it solve some problems doesn't solve others you know I think the other dynamics that are involved here do have to do with gender and age and authority back when I ran a vegan blog I gave advice too and I spoke to a lot of females who were writing in to me about the extreme disrespect they got from co-workers like maybe from other students University but you know what no it was more coworkers family members even their own boyfriends look whatever the district in the disrespect day as women got from other women about veganism was really extreme and really nasty and four men four grown men especially one of the natural limits is that there's always the issue of resorting to violence like one of the reason why grown men are civil is like well look do you want to take this outside like are you actually trying to start a fistfight with me that is always there for men and it's not nice but in a sense people behave kind of more more rationally they stay on their P's and Q's a bit more because the shadow of that hangs over the whole conversation some women in Western culture are not even aware of that like they don't know you know when you have a situation with both men and women involved and women are really being disrespectful they may not realize that they're forcing two men to get into a conflict that they're escalating conflict that they're forcing a fistfight you know this woman is just freaking out and she thinks that's cool she thinks there are no consequences but then the men are expected to lay hands on each other to settle the issue that's it's broody and networking it's it's brutal and nasty and terrible but that is a gendered issue of these kinds of conflicts and I do think in a lot of situations women will just take it really far they'll really disrespect each other try to make each other cry attack each other or whatever and when you're a young woman I think that can be a real problem is that level of disrespect but you know what's what's the way to respond to that recognize the function of the question that's being asked to you rather than responding to the particular words if the function is just to disrespect you if it's just to say you know you ain't if it's just to say you don't know what you're talking about like you know you can respond to that by looking back at the person saying you know what I may not be an ex but you know what I'm not a cancer expert I'm not a cancer researcher you know what I may not know what I'm talking about but I'm doing the best I can if you can look someone in the eyes and say that really sincerely when they've disrespected you they've said oh well you know you can still eat meat and not get cancer whatever you can look back there I say you know what I'm not an expert on cancer I don't know but here's what I do know okay I can make a pause the difference in the world by eating less meat by eating absolutely no meat at all and that's what I'm gonna do okay because I'm trying to do something good I'm trying to make a positive difference no matter how small you know if they still come at you if they still disrespect you more then you can just then after you said that you can point out the contrast you could say well you know what I've just told you I'm trying to do something positive are you right now you attacking me are you trying to do something positive what is this about okay like maybe you're a hundred percent right and I'm a hundred percent wrong about cancer I don't want to talk about that because I'm not the expert maybe you're a hundred percent right about the exploitation of migrant farm laborers I'm not a human rights lawyer I'm not involved with human rights cases for you know minimum wage workers on farms that's not what I'm about I miss telling I'm trying to something positive are you