It takes a village to raise a family, thus jealousy. ⓸

oh my god yeah even at Cambridge
University England even at Oxford even people with PhDs this stuff was going on all the time it was off the hook the level of just lies in deception cheating a month like I didn't know that many people at Cambridge Cambridge yeah look where it got me look we talked to us a lot you know I don't think you know people don't want to live alone you know look it's not just the nuclear family and falling in love and having kids like there are other reasons why people want to have sexual partners like historically and in terms of evolution you live in a tribe even in medieval Catholic Europe just because people were dying all the time people would remarry people had multiple sexual partners just because they had multiple marriages even if they were totally faithful than a marriage which they weren't you know a lot of people in medieval Catholic Europe didn't get married at all yeah you know just say I mean they they had you know other forms of arrangements which you know doesn't show up in Shakespeare well I guess indirectly it does because there's a lot of joking about sex and in Shakespeare so on the comedy level at least you get a bit more of a sense of the reality of pre-modern sexuality like you know sex is gross for a reason people have inhibition for a reason you know what I mean people feel revolt about one another for a reason but like you know why do you overcome that almost nothing worth doing can be done alone and like even raising a newborn baby like to really do that as two people you know whether they're all these corny sayings it takes a village to raise a child or it takes a whole family or whatever I mean as much as as much contempt as I may have for like a Nisshin Ana CNN is his girl Lanie like they're trying to put together a tribe they're trying to put together a team of people who work together to raise these kids and have a meaningful life voice yeah total contempt for them but still like you can see the info there don't want to live alone they do obviously they live out in the countryside and they have no friends where they are whether or not they had any friends before I doubt you know not hating but that's for a lot of us you get to you get to be middle-aged you look around and say wow where are all my friends you know some of them move to you know whatever there are all different reasons whether they just move to other cities or you moved or whatever you know you know I see people who are trying in that sense to have a social peace a cohesive and loving social unit and you know human sexuality is a part of that like you know I had very no just my views on it we're totally based on Christianity you know but that to me makes so much sense now after like coming to terms with it then you know and also after helping with your daughter like seeing how much I helping having I think other people around having a tribe of people having a bigger family is so much more valuable than just being on your own which is so common these days whoa sexuality can can play a role in it and for the right people she I would you to say she grew up she sang with Christian values but she didn't actually read the Bible the actual material on sexuality in the Bible is very different yeah no no no no no I know but look what's actually described in the in in the Bible is men owning slaves and having sex with their slaves in addition their wives having children with their slaves servants and handmaidens and having sex with the rest of them it's a brutal patriarchy in the truest sense the word patriarchy and prostitution there's not one negative word about prostitution in the Old Testament there's only positive positive or neutral words about prostitution you know the actual depiction of what's you know normal sexuality you know course there are also things like incest and what-have-you which are not depicted positively but the fact that they're depicted at all and how that's dealt with and deceit and you know the kind of sexual skullduggery that's there this is not even getting into the song of solomon by just mentioned you had the sanitized version and that's what's interesting too is that even even if you did actually use the Bible even the Book of Psalms Book of Psalms and Song of Solomon and the Old Testament and the the view of look how how units actually work yeah look and that's also sorry I say this conversation I think that's one of the really sick things that comes out in situations like polyamory and open relationships is that a lot of people what they kind of want to do is go back to slavery they want to have like unequal parties come into their homes and basically be there be their slaves you know of course they don't say it that way but you can even if you even just look at the the wanted ads what couples are saying it's like Oh looking for a third person who you know will clean up our [ __ ] and have sex with us and like you know what you're looking for is an unpaid servant you know who doesn't really you know do doesn't have equal status who doesn't make the decisions about money and someone in the family it wasn't you know yeah yeah so I just say a lot of people I see the kind of that were turned a slave like family arrangements about to fall yeah I mean you you are very perceptive and like the other day when you told me that you were talking to someone so you know I've like immediately was like oh he doesn't love me anymore like I mean it's just these really stupid I can't work it doesn't you know that is immediately what I was thinking I was like oh right and I saw you like three hours later and you were just like you just seems slightly abstracted and I was like oh like I can tell you're upset about this like you know yeah I mean at that point already I was you know totally look the other thing that really frames this or kind of the lies that men commonly tell and you know it's it's you can't kind of compare yourself to an abstract other person but still you know like I've said to you if I'm talking to someone who's attractive and I a lot of men lie this way a lot of them will lie to both women yes but oh I'm just talking to a colleague about this subject you know and then like then you find later that she's gorgeous like oh I I didn't even notice well I didn't even notice she was an attractive female she's just a colleague you know no but that can be at work that can be in the workplace you lie about that and that can be you know want the internet like oh no I just start talking sports I didn't even notice that they're that they're gorgeous or something that they're that you know they were really tried remember those it that's that's a countenance like look you don't want me to lie to you I mean like you know I know look there's a level on which like okay you wouldn't have this jealous reaction if I told you it was a man or if I told you someone who's hideously ugly but presumably right but still it's not a solution it's it's it's a lie and it's oh yeah maybe be Joseph but look what the the point is you know that's the kind of line man tell exactly to set up cheating right and then on the other side I don't lie to anyone about you know the extent to which I'm committed to Melissa we're like when I talk to people I've I started doing this way back before I even had a youtube channel my when I had a blog text-based you know blog like you know at the start of the conversation it's like you know Melissa and I are packing up to move to Taiwan you know when here's a words just implicitly built into it like here's a video of or a picture of this is me and Melissa together or doing this right you know where we know what book but a lot of men I can't say most a lot of men exactly this is human on the internet there is a there a man who be like oh yeah well I'm not really with this girl like you know I mean I mean I can't say I can't say I'm single but it's nothing serious so one of my female friends who is conventionally good-looking you know she was she was talking to God I think they they for coffee kind of thing and his whole act was like oh well I kind of sort of have this girlfriend but it's no big deal but you know today with Facebook like on Facebook there was like the two of them announcing their pregnancy and [ __ ] like oh so they you know like you know like dude you told me like oh yeah like you kind of sort of have this chick you sometimes sleep with on the side kind of thing but you're you're single and available even at Cambridge University England even at Oxford even people with PhDs this stuff was going on all the time it was off the hook the level of just lies in deception cheating a month like I didn't know that many people at Cambridge Cambridge look where it got me yeah yeah I'm also so critical it's my life Wan's Age Bronze Age virtues right yeah yeah but yeah and you know there was an example on on YouTube mmm so Jaclyn Glenn was the female and then the male his screen name is social repose but the fundamental deception that he is cheating on her relied on was him writing to women and saying no no like he has a girlfriend on YouTube but that that's only a fake girlfriend and that's not really an emotional commitment or whatever that he's he's really looking here that he's really looking for true love elsewhere so again those those kinds of lies you know but look anyway I know maybe that's partly why I don't imagine runs well because growing up seeing dramas and TV shows with all this crap yeah it permeates your mind I think that there's something going on there's nothing and it's it's just destructive you know you really have to trust your partner maybe that's a good thing to close on you know a big a big tension in all my relationships I know people think I'm like this very dominant character and in some ways but you know any any decisions made in relationship and this is you know with you with all the women was with I've always wanted to have a kind of democracy in the relationship but it's like okay we're going to talk this through I'm gonna make the decision even stuff like airplane tickets you know what I mean I never want to just be the one saying like no you don't like I'm just gonna decide this on my own and stuff but you know whatever it is and I think that that obviously leads to a lot more talk and a lot a lot more emotional exhaustion and a lot more friction you know and for sure being booked airplane tickets right whether it's matters of the heart or practical things like that and you know a lot of people at least out of laziness just want to be dominated they prefer to have a dominant or domineering husband who's taking care of things nine-tenths of the time or whatever who's who's just decisively making the decisions and I've I kind of refused to play that role on anything that's anything that's meaningful winning that's important we will look even close shopping like when we discuss ya know I have any all kinds of like relatively trivial crap like that like buying kitchen equipment or clothes shopping no we talked about like we talked about like okay do you want to buy this rice cooker or whatever we like you know and like damn it like I bought a shirt for my knees gift shopping yeah yeah look you know I I wasn't saying this to boast though I think in a lot of my relationships that's been you know that's what's kind of worn things out faster was my insisting like no no I want to include you you know I want to consult with you I want you to really be a part of this in a meaningful way yeah okay so that's it another another video ends in a stalemate we definitely did not come to a decision jealousy the solution is no solution