The Opposite of "Vegan Drama": Keeping it Real for a Reason.

critique I have a big and awesome
channels is that they're just not very nice yeah you go on the internet people are gonna be rude to that's fine like whatever but does that now mean you should contribute to that I don't like to spend my time vidhan and watching quenette's top like this actually educational and meaningful and the way sounds like really pompous and academic here but you know I do like to spend my time doing I want a meaningful staff and I just felt that trolling through not trolling through trolling trolling through like words of drama videos & M league but you noted and basically collecting the evidence to make my own drama videos it was not after dr. Hewson Martine so that's kind of why one is Italy and also it just didn't feel right it didn't feel like I was doing a good thing when also that I just didn't feel there was an I was being a nice person and I was being fake I was being a fake vegan not a fake vegan but I was just been a fake version of warden and know that I've states away from that it feels like a whole lot bear it's just not that makes like why are we why are we getting into people's business you know I don't think the excuse that like it's just a business I'm just building a business I don't care about being nice I'm building a business what kind of excuse is that right like oh I just run a slaughterhouse it's a business okay and then idleness art comes on and they're talking about this no no vegan cheer just kept ringing you up well this is a business this is a business um you know I don't care about principle this is a business okay so I don't care about principle this is a business I'm gonna run my slaughterhouse whether or not you like it right nice people don't talk [ __ ] nice people don't gossip and nice people especially don't do that on a public platform and I felt like have is devoting all my time to theirs in JAMA which was really what about people's life's whatever it feels late and one of it people sex slaves and what about scandals in people's lives than actually doing something positive for veganism or not just for veganism but just anything positive in my own life or help other people the shallowness stupidity and hostility of what people have been doing here on YouTube here in the digital vegan activist seen it has impact on what gets said and what doesn't get said it has a chilling effect on our political discourse and it certainly impacts some people more than others i saw a statement recently from a young asian woman who's been here on youtube for years talking about veganism talking about her own life some extent but ninety percent of her videos of her veganism and she just admitted at one point that she often felt afraid about coming on camera because she felt her face was too puffy you know she's never been fat and the time she's been if she's never even been overweight or anything um but you know I know what she's talking about she's the type of person who has a you know sort of face where you know if you didn't see her body you might assume she had more weight on that she does she has a somewhat puffy face and she said openly she felt intimidated she felt that she couldn't come on camera and represent veganism if she didn't look thin um you know she'd never cheekbones showing through her face or what have you she didn't have a certain kind of hollow-cheeked look because that's what vegans are supposed to be or that other vegans would have reject her or say she's not a real vegan activist or not a good representative the veganism and a kind of shallowness is painful and it's primitive very simple sense it it prohibits people from getting involved sharing their voice sharing their perspective or ultimately in organizing real activism I mentioned recently in one of my podcasts actually was an interview with with another broadcaster here an example of some with many many years of experience in organizing real world vegan actors and she has some some web presence to call Doris Lynn it's so many I mean there's so many examples of people who are vegans off youtube and you know we can't get them to come on YouTube and right now it's it's not hard to imagine why they're all kinds of reasons not everyone's confidence become camera some people have a stutter or a lisp they can't speak well some people just feel ugly and they feel this is a game that's only played by beautiful people um the shallowness the cattiness the cruelty of what goes on you know for so little reason with so little benefit intentions matter you know even if you talk about a whole bunch of people who've accomplished nothing or next to nothing in terms of political activism there's a difference between someone who has a sincere intention of shall we say saving the planet of pursuing really illogical activism real political activism and someone who tells you openly that they're just here to make money they're just here to earn a dollar out of a scandal in the short term that they're just trying to pursue fame or notoriety that's a very different thing it's always seen to me a you know a striking example of all these issues but you know ultimately the issue of intention you know one of my few friends and colleagues here online is Jason passinho if you made a Venn diagram of all the different values and directions of what's going on here in in veganism 2015 2016 these last few years one of the things I'm still known for famous for famous on a small small scale I you know that is this phrase permanent vacation I was I'm certainly not the first person who's that phrase new English language but within veganism within the discourse we've got going here on YouTube I invented or I you know I coined the phrase in this usage where I was really questioning a lot of the content putting people were putting online that glamorized the sort of reckless irresponsible lifestyle and that tried to present that the glorification that lifestyle has activism as the most effective form of activism etc etc so I kicked off the the critique of the permanent vacation you know Jason Posey know anyone who just casually looks at what's on his channel and looks at what is on my channel you might assume we were bitter enemies you might assume we're at opposite ends of the political spectrum of what's going on here within veganism he is the only guy who has tried to organize an event a real world event a political activist thing that exists if you happy with me it's the only one um I'm a I'm a nail get have some more people to add to that list because I've been promoting this idea of the illustrated children's book up and I've been inviting people to get involved that but I think right now I think Jason is the only guy who gets that gets that award you no intentions matter intentions tell me something but who you are as a character and they predict your future behavior even if you haven't accomplished eating those goals yet even if you haven't realized those intentions I think it's true I think if you look at what Jason is doing with his life right now Jason passinho is on permanent vacation and I've seen him make some sarcastic remarks about that so that's a guy's self-critical joking remark so want to say sardonic remarks the difference between sarcastic and sardonic people but you know I know that he has intentions that are really positive they're really trying to make a positive difference the world and it may take him years to really pursue those intentions or he may never do it you know I don't know I always say this is the number one reason why most of us don't accomplish your goals and activism his employment myself recently applied for a job and if I get that job it'll change my whole outlook on the next several years in terms of what I can and can't do and and so on take on economic responsibilities my case I have family responsibilities so on and so forth but it is interesting I mean the first steps of moving beyond the facade of what people publicly portray about themselves in internet often is learning about their aspirations their intentions the goals they're pursuing and those often can be a surprising contrast to you know the glittering images of them swimming in a bikini or you know chopping up vegetables or whatever it is whatever little aspect of their life it is they they choose to share on YouTube but what I've discovered by being so blunt and forthright about my own political aspirations that there are a great many people here who really do want to make the world a better place whether or not they feel they can whether or not they have frankly the time to even entertain those forms of activism there are people with sincere concern who really want to engage in the boring and detailed meditations that are on this channel about questions of method and and politics and effective activism and you really want to look ahead to the next ten years to do something much more meaningful than just engaging gossip or just pursue Fame notoriety etc and it's a damn shame the chilling effect of the currently you know prevalent mood of caddy vicious you know mutual denunciation and defamation slander as a sport of what goes on these days it silences people it results of people deleting their YouTube channels who already had them it's a barrier to people of respectable jobs in need to maintain the respectability for against them getting involved and for me it also brings me to question what I'm doing and how I'm doing it and I really feel that I I need to stick to my original mission statement and mandate here on YouTube stick to what's crucially important to me and why I come on camera in the first place which is in part to connect with the minority of other vegans who really want to build something positive for the future and it's important here for my daughter discover one day I'm divorced but I have a daughter who I karabell to think about a great deal and so on and it's tremendously important to me that I come on camera and speak really honestly about what's going on in my life what really matters to me partly just to share with her and partly for me to share it with my friends and I mean friends in a double sense ear people who really are my friends and people who I haven't even met yet but who in future may become my friend one day somebody could discover this video five years from now who becomes my best friend six years from now that's what you're laying the groundwork for by really really really keeping it real now all these things come to matters principal nobody can be responsible for the emotional impact that words have on me whether those words are shared with malice or are shared I don't know in some other spirit of uh of scandal mongering man had to ask you to have a question recently because another youtuber who I will not name because he's asked me not to name him although he makes his money by defaming me um another youtuber made some comments that that really heard me about my own education about what I'm doing University of all what's been going on with my university and you know I had to reflect this hurts me partly because it puts pressure on me to come on camera now and talk about why this matters to me what is going on in my education you know what I'm doing University what motivates me to be university the good and the bad the nature of the struggle have had at the University of Victoria and again that matters to me so much it's something that's real a meaningful in itself it's something I want to leave an honest account up for my daughter it's something I would want to share with a friend past present or future friendship um and here's someone else you know take some of that in my life and again it's something much less personal than my divorce or my sex life or you know the other things that people have you know without any sense of shame jump to the chance to denounce me about the fey me about driving into the mud um but I mean the question of what's going on education it's something so meaningful to me it's like that matters to me and it's something I do want to share with my audience but then when you deal with that hostility with you deal with that kind of mean spirit of reaction from your other youtubers or from some portion of the vegan YouTube audience then you kind of face a crossroad what's like well am I going to try to present a sort of sanitized demeanor am I going to become less of a honest first person perspective on youtube and become more like a news reader who just presents facts and opinions or am I going to take this as an opportunity to bring something really raw really real and really honest the internet and you know it's with no hesitation but it is with real sorrow that I feel I have to take that second path every time that's none of this should be worth doing if what I was presenting was phony in any way and I'd hate to watch these videos myself five years from now 10 years to look back on it and be watching wincing because I knew the things I was leaving out the things I was misrepresenting after wasn't really like that you know what I want is the exact opposite is to bring yeah I said this a long time ago in such a different context here on YouTube you know here on YouTube honesty is the only currency we've got there are no special effects there's no plot the no plot twist they're really there's no drama people trying to make money out of drama there is no Trump and you know I I don't know how many people are even going to come along for that ride if I make a video that's just talking about my struggles the university now not by my name's yesterday 2016 what you know what's going on one percent the university now and what motivates me but I mean you know that's exactly what I want to share with you and the same sense that I was surprised when I really figured out who Jason piscina was in contrast to the endless holiday footage of him you know swimming at one beach after another and so on eros oh wow this is a guy who really has intentions and aspirations you know but beyond Allah okay hmm and again he's the one guy who really got serious and wanted to to make an event happen the real to me very memorable thing about him who he is what he wants them um I'd also like to thank the people who support me the people who had future may really be involved in real world political activism with me and so on I think that it's meaningful for them to learn and understand who I am and what motivates me why I was in that universe in the first place what my educational goals are he said such as who i am but who I'm trying to become those questions of motivation I don't know um I can share that because in a sense it's the only thing I've got to share is what's really going on in my life what's really meaningful to me what really matters to me and another sense you know whether it's someone who's involved at the low level of deciding to donate five dollars to support the publication of that illustrated children's book or someone who's involved at a much higher vil of me be you know buying a bus ticket to come to some event we might organize in southern Ontario in the year 2017 Oh long bus trips in Canada to attend a political event flow it's in the middle of winter hard to justify um you know I'd like to think that they can they can take from that a sort of confidence that they know who I really am and meanwhile there were people who are literally trying to earn a living by selling you lies and answer to that same question by elaborating a mythology all around me of who I am and what my life's about just just a whole lot of nonsense one great thing about I Zelda I think he probably is one of the best people sending the message veganism online because he doesn't sugarcoat it he isn't like hey look his bowl of fruit you know this is great hope you guys needed no I doesn't care about that he's not non apologist it is what it is you you you get what you want to get and that is some guy who right now it's basically saying listen I think you said in the video if you're not trying too hard enough [ __ ] you you know try harder you know this is important I don't I don't want someone's going to do it [ __ ] half-ass you know its energy best isn't good enough then maybe we can talk for a little bit but it's probably not going to work out in the long run